Helping a friend

M

maverick494

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Help me help my friend!

A good friend of mine, has lost a lot of weight (20/25 pounds.) in a very short period of time. Her current weight looks alright for her height, but because she has lost it so quickly (in about 2 months, maybe even less!) I had gotten worried and started pushing her in telling me how she managed to do that. Finally she confided in me that she ate as little as she could. Which meant: one sandwhich with tuna. For the entire day.

As you can understand I was very shocked. I did something similar to myself, some time ago and the concequenses weren't pretty. I've managed to convince her that this is totally unhealthy and dangerous and that she should eat more, but she's afraid she'll gain everything back again. I know that if she'll return to her old eating pattern, that will indeed happen. She refuses to go to a doctor, so now I'm offering my help. The problem is, I don't know enough on this subject.

I have struggled getting my metabolism back up again as well. In fact, I'm still jojo'ing. Can you please tell me what she can do to get back to a healthy caloric intake without gaining too much fat? And the most improtant thing, to get healthy again. I don't want her to become another victim of anorexia!

Thanks a lot!
 
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Tough situation. She needs to be on a great menu and a great fitness program in order to bring her calories back up without gaining fat. I am not good in these situations because I have never not eaten. I have had MANY friends with eating disorders and every time... I never knew what to say.

PM Teresand77 and ask her for help. She gives really good advice and information about this stuff. Maybe she'll post here. She is an aerobics intructor (I think!) and always has great info for people in need.
 
I don't really know how to help her NOT gain back that weight. It's pretty much inevitable. I'm still struggling a little with the fat that I gained after I had an eating disorder. I wish I could help but the only thing that helped me was to go to a therapist. Is your friend still in high school? Have her parents realized she has an eating disorder? What about a school counselor? Eating disorders are very common in high school and college so maybe they could help? I would worry that if she DOES start eating normally again too quickly and gains 20 pounds back overnight that she may develop a mix of anorexia/bulimia.

Maybe you can find some resources about how eating so little damages your metabolism and show them to her. Some people with eating disorders are so concerned with being thin that that will shock them into stopping their behavior. Being fat was my greatest fear in life even though I had never even been fat! I was more scared of being fat than I was of dying!!

What finally worked for me after 8 years was a mixture of going to psychologist, seeing how hurt my husband (boyfriend at the time) was every time I went back to those destructive behaviors, and lastly my health. People with eating disorders often don't care about themselves enough to worry about their own well-being.

Not sure if that helps any...let me know what else you need. PMing me is great.
 
Thanks for the replies. I will certainly PM :)

She's 1 year older than me and goes to the same college as I. She doesn't live at home anymore (hired an apartment with a friend) but she's barely there either; always out and about. I guess that's why she's managed to hide it so well from everyone.

I've printed some articles on metabolism and what happens to when you eat little. I'll show em' to her tommorow, when she comes over to my house. I really hope that helps. She's a very stubborn rebellious person, so I don't think I'll be able to get her to go to a therapist anytime soon. (But I will try! )

I've heard that the best way to recover from this is to turn up the caloric intake gradually, in steps, so the body can adjust. Could you give me an idea on how to that? Her diet was that single sandwhich with tuna. Frankly, I don't really now how to build that back up into 5 meals /1500 kcal (minimum.)

Thanks in advance!
 
I'm not sure how to up the caloric intake gradually as I went straight from borderline anorexia to bulimia. Sorry, I can't help on that part.

I think people with eating disorders often are able to hide them. The other part of it is that people don't really know what to say to help so they don't say anything. I think it's great that you're trying to help your friend. Keep us updated!

teresa
 
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