Hangs head in shame....back again***Diary of Kaplooie***

Hi kp, I like the sound of your job being what you make of it. That sounds like an opportunity to me & so much better than just being told how everything has to be. It sucks about your bf's behaviour. While the violence may not have been on you physically, it sounds like it was very violent behaviour & that would be scary. I hope you have the opportunity to move on very soon & he takes responsibility for his actions & allows you to move on.
Your environment is so very different to mine, but I could picture you sunning yourself in the tundra. So different. I love the expression "boy child".
Hang in there sweets, xoxo Cate.
PS Can you not tell your parents? Parents can be more resilient & understanding than you think. Just saying xo
 
Unfortunately my parents, particularly my mom, are not people I tell things to. Not like this. My mom is really overly judgemental about everything and I already feel shitty enough I don't need to feel shittier.

Had a crazy day at work today. Started with waste oil furnace training. I learned to clean/service them which has to happen monthly and is not technically my job but I need to know how to do it in case something happens to our maintenance guys. I also learned how to pump fuel from the large main tank to the day tanks and change the filters. I will probably never have to do that, but in the event I need to now I can. I feel like after this morning I am at least 5% handier then I was when I woke up. After that I started cleaning and organizing our warehouse, tool, building materials. I finally got to prove to the guys that yes, I can drive a forklift proficiently. They doubted me.

Tomorrow is already Friday. Week one under the belt. I need to get back to the gym. I keep telling myself I'll get up early and get it done but I've not adjusted my sleep schedule enough to manage that. I go to bed early but I can't fall to sleep till the usual 0100 or later no matter how hard I try. Then at 0600 when the gym opens I'm like....meeeehhhhhh. I need to just sleep in my gym clothes, lol, and get the eff up and go. I'd probably sleep earlier if I just wore myself the eff out. I'll try that tonight/tomorrow AM.
 
I am so beat after today. I think I climbed a ladder 500 times. I learned some new stuff today, I think about 2% was added to my "handy" meter. Learned how to change the seal on a toilet tank. Yay me! Hey, you need the seal on your toilet tank changed? Call me!

I'm going out to dinner with the BF tonight, meeting on neutral ground. Will probably give the relationship it's kill shot. I can't imagine him doing or saying anything to change my mind.

Also, it's the weekend. I'd be more excited but I have a funeral to attend tomorrow.
 
Your comment about adding 2% to your "handy" meter reminded me of the Sims. Now I want to play, but it's already midnight and I'd be all night if I started now. Maybe tomorrow. lol.

I hope the talk with the boyfriend went ok. Smart move having it be on neutral ground!
 
I hope the dinner with your BF went OK. It would be good if he could settle up the damage without acrimony. It's good that your new job is distracting & busy! xoCate
 
I hate hangovers. Why do I drink so much! Went to a funeral yesterday and then came home and drank all night with my sister. Made drunk eggplant parmesan which turned out super good so I might have to make it drunk all the time. Might have eaten too much cheese though...but it was the only food I ate all day which might be why I got so drunk. I woke up this morning, drank a huge glass of water and then went back to bed till noon.

Today I'm just going to be cleaning and trying to get projects around the house done. There is a lot of laundry piled up and I'm out of clean towels so...ya...need to get my shit together. I somehow went from owning like 20 towels to only having three. Where the eff do they go? This has something to do with the kiddo, I know it does.

Oh, and excitement, finally ordered a new computer, don't know if I mentioned that yet, but it shipped and I tracked it this am and it will hopefully be here by Wednesday. Then I can stop this damn iPad typing thing. I really dislike the touchscreen keyboard lol!
 
Okay, all the shit I lost in the rage last weekend will be replaced by next week. Not because HE is buying it, because I'm replacing it regardless of whether he pays or not. Restitution be damned, I have a standard of living I refuse to give up, and that includes huge Tv's for baseball/football season, surround sound even if its not going to be on my old kenwood/Bose hybrid system I built myself and of course, my new pc. I worked my ass off for that standard of living, I'm not letting it slip.

Went to the gym today and discovered the weight room is really busy with Samoans around 1630. Not a bad crowd. Finally had a spot for heavy squats and a crowd to cheer me on for leg presses. First leg day in a week= success. Leg pressed 250 today. More then I effin weigh!!!!! 1st rep 4 times and 2nd rep three times. LEGS!!!! On a roll and ready to be there 100%. I needed that motivation.
 
A 47 inch flat screen is now installed in my living room. My new pc is somewhere between Anchorage and my remote location...so...whenever that finally gets here I'll feel slightly more complete. Still waiting on the new surround sound system and for the defense attorney for my ex to release my smartphone from evidence. My ex told me I didn't deserve it back so they'll go to trial and keep it in evidence. Good luck asshole, it's a year in jail if you get a guilty verdict and you are guilty as sin. Have fun with that. I should just add the phone to the list of shit I'm seeking restitution for.

Anyways! I had an awesome day at work today! Did something I never saw myself doing and did it well. I'm going out to dinner tomorrow night with my new coworkers. I feel like this new job is an awesome fit for me. And it's so active I feel like the lbs are flying off. My actual weight has not changed, lol, but my pants are falling off me. I also have a mirror at he end of a long hallway in my house and I'm loving walking down that hallway lately. Sometimes when I turn the corner to go into my makeup room I give my ass a little shake, just cuz...
And yes. I have a whole room for my makeup. It's NOT that big of a room. I also keep my shoes in there. I call it my battle station. Lol!
 
218.6 this morning. Busted through 219 without even noticing. Went to work for a little while today, then came home and weed whacked for an hour...holy I need to buy a house with a mow-able yard situation. I will finish it tomorrow, not even close to done yet. But, I made the mistake of coming inside for a break and these ominous black clouds rolled in so I think it's about to rain...or the end of the world is here...either way I'm not weed whacking anymore today, lol!

The lady whose job I am taking over is driving me crazy at work. Her personality is shit. Abrasive, know it all (yet she mispronounces and misuses "big" words all day long...a pet peeve of mine in pseudo smart people). I have more job/management experience then her, yet she's 8 years older then me so she must be right....right? No. She was a stay at home mom for the last 10 years, so I've got more work and management experience than her period. And she purposely withholds information from me in an attempt to make me look bad but it's come back to bite her in the ass twice now. I just want her to go away because I really like the new job and she's making everybody miserable. I'll stop ranting now.
 
Just read through a little of your diary. Sorry about what happened with you and your ex! Glad you were able to buy some replacements for what was broken (that must have been scary!). Hope you get some money to pay you back for it!
Looks like you're doing pretty well on your weight loss!
 
Thanks for reading, sorry if it was tedious ;P I feel like I'm losing so slowly but at least it's down and not up.

I just slept for like, 10 hours. I'm exhausted from it. Ha! It looks a bit wet out today but I'm going to get out and finish the yard. The kiddo is working on purging his room of little boy toys and then he is going fishing with my uncle. And I have to go and paint some wave patterns on my friends grave marker today (temporary, until his parents can afford a real headstone). The wave pattern is a traditional Unangan design, I guess they want an artist to do it so they chose me. Sunday...not exactly the day of rest around here.

Hopefully we'll have fish for dinner tonight, if not I'm going to be lazy and just pull out frozen leftovers and thaw them out. I would go grocery shopping today but....naaaaaw....
 
Hi KP. That's lovely that your friends parents have entrusted you with the painting on their son's grave. I would think that is an honour. Good luck on the weed whacking & the fish! xo Cate
 
Struggling the last few days to stay on track with friends wanting to go out to crap food, family having too many family meals together and the ex stressing me the fuck out. That plus no after work energy to do anything means I'm just making bad choices.

And to top it off I still have not received the computer I bought over 13 days ago. It was shipped fed ex 3 to 5 day shipping and it disappeared in anchorage on the 24th with no tracking data and fed ex doesn't even know where it is so now I have to file a claim and hope in "up to 90 days" I can get a 75% refund on the total value if my loss. I fucking hate life right now. I'm ready to just start smashing shit.
 
I need an attitude adjustment. A nice holiday weekend will have to suffice. Although, it's going to rain here all weekend. I'm fiiiine with that, I know people who would give a leg for some rain right now so no complaining about that.

Had my first long rough day at work today that made me irritated. Was still fielding calls from angry tenants at 2000, 13 hours after I went to work. I need to unwind and glad the day is over and the issues solved.

I ate bad all day, stress eating and now I feel guilty. I need to get back on track.

I don't usually have this bad of an attitude, I know it's personal stress and eating bad is not helping me feel better. Seriously. I need someone to just slap me out of this funk. Aaaaanyways, I'm going to bed early.
 
Thank you!!!!!!!!! lol

I went to bed early last night and laid there for hours. I doubt I fell to sleep before 0200 but the last time I looked at the clock was 0113. *heavysigh* now I'm tired and I have a lot to do today before I can call it a weekend. Still waiting for my computer to get here but the ship that our parcel post is on is at the dock so hopefully, fingers crossed I can get it today and not have to wait until Monday. I'm slacking right now at the office...badnobad. But nobody else is in yet for the day and really I have to wait for them to get here to huddle and plan with before I run off to do my work.

My goal today is to eat healthy dammit. No crap. No visit to the deli. And to work hard enough to feel physically exhausted by the end of the day. Then I can fall into bed and hopefully get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow will be the real struggle. No work to keep my occupied and the family will have a very large and unhealthy bbq. I am going to make my own few dishes to take with me so I have safe foods. And I am going to limit myself to only two alcoholic beverages for the day because when it comes to festivities I think 90% of my calorie intake is often booze. I get all lushy. And then 2000 calories later and I'm bloated and hungover.

I've bloated back up to 221, with bad eating, stress, bad sleeping habits and shark week. *heavysigh* the struggle is real.
 
Yeaaaahhhhhhh.....was just uninvited to the family bbq, because my sister is all dramatic about my breakup. Really? Wasn't it MY breakup? It was my family right? Not his? I'm as confused as anyone. "We can't support this relationship." What relationship? I'm lost. It came via email. I'm positive I've informed my family I'm newly single. Now, I'm single and completely alone. Thank you bitchy uninformed sister. I guess I have plenty of time tomorrow now to go to work and finish the apartment flip I didn't have time to finish today.
Just how I wanted to decompress from a stressful shitty week trying to square away my former life and move on. Definitely needed the total rejection of my own family. I bet they invited my ex!
 
Forgot to mention, worked my arse off today. Will sleep good. Made good food choices. Pants falling off all day while trying to climb ladders and squat to pick up heavy shit.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top