Hangs head in shame....back again***Diary of Kaplooie***

kaplooie said:
I'm only on page 20 or so of YOURS Cate, its one of those that I want to read start to finish. Its more of an epic then a thread. It should be published.
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Publish? :eek: Yes, it's an epic *blush*, but publish? HA! I must say that I thought it sweet of you to say so though, even now that I think you must be stark raving mad! If you do manage to get through it all then you may just be certifiable. (and/or realise that I probably am too.)
This forum & your diary is a great place to say what you think & also to make some lovely friends.It's lovely to have you here kaplooie xo Cate
 
I am stark raving mad, but it keeps me sane.

Last night before dinner I made it to the gym, only because I was looking at what I could eat for dinner with the calories I had available and it was pretty sad. Then the BF and I went to the gym again this morning and I did 35 minutes on the elliptical. We slept in a bit and went a bit late and managed to get the "mommy" crowd. I've got nothing against the "mommy" crowd but they are gossips with snake tongues. So much shit talking. And I eavesdropped on it all.

Made it shopping yesterday, and the BF managed to convince me that we needed a bbq grill. They were on sale so we got a good one. Now I have to go on pinterest and find kabob recipes...okay...I'll probably be on pinterest for 12 hours and at the very end I'll search for kababs, pin 40 recipes and then never buy skewers. Because....pinterest. But, it stopped raining and blowing so we might have to grill something tonight.

No weigh in today, shark week. I feel super bloated too. Like, so bloated that even my yoga pants are tight. I considered going to the gym in my nightgown and bathrobe but unfortunately they have a dress code.
 
Baaaaw. Today is not happening. Well, today is today so it's happening but I'm not feeling it. Truck was in the shop all morning getting the hinge pins and bushings changed. So no gym yet today. The boyfriend woke up with a massive hangover so I made him pancakes and bacon and eggs and a breve. Ate a pancake and a half, two eggs and some bacon myself so I HAVE to work out today no matter what.

I'm hosting Mother's Day tea at my house on Sunday so I have to plan that and clean the house. I told the BF and the spawn that for Mother's Day I want them to go out and catch me an octopus. That should keep them busy all day....unless they actually catch one. Then I'll have to deal with an octopus...

Anyways. Ya. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 
Aaaaand...I can't believe how fast the days fly by when I DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALL DAY ERRRRERYDAY. Okay, I worked out five days last week. Did some mushroom hunting. Cleaned my house like I'm expecting the Pope (or my grandmother) to visit. *I even cleaned behind the toilet*

Had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday. Had tea at my house with my Mom and Grandma and Sister. Then the BF cooked me a ribeye steak dinner. It was not a low cal day, and I did not go to the gym yesterday by 9pm I felt really fat and lazy, so I rolled my massive girth to bed. But I did get up and go to the gym first thing this morning and did 40 minutes on the elliptical. My ankles hurt when I got off of it. That's a new development, but I could be because of all the crap I ate yesterday. They are not swollen or anything, just aching. The BF slept in and I went to the gym without him because I'm impatient and even though I have nothing else to do today that is pressing I was not willing to wait for him. It's a good thing I didn't because right now its 1030 here and he's still sleeping. That would have thrown my whole day of doing nothing off. I mean, really.

Okay, I do have four things to do today. Go to school, sign child of mediocre intelligence up for summer school, Apply for job, go shopping because its magically Monday again, and submit my unemployment for the last two weeks so I can get paid...to live this lavish lifestyle. Two of those things I can do right here...sitting at the computer.

Now I'm off to procrastinate by reading up on your journals!!
 
The gawds of cardio have decided to smite me. I pulled a groin muscle or something this morning at the gym. How does one remedy this situation? The BF said he had a remedy for it but I doubt that's going to help. Perv. So, despite the pull, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical on the cardio mode so every time my heart rate went below 146 the resistance increased and tried to kill me. Aside from the BF there was only one other person in the cardio room so it was nice. TV's on the good channels, windows open so we didn't suffocate. But I forgot my water bottle so after 30 minutes my mouth and throat were like death valley.

The BF and I went trout fishing together last night, catch and release because nobody wants to eat Dollies. I caught a huge one, like...15 inches long. and a whole bunch of little 6-8 inchers. And I found three morels. It was fun. We planned on doing it again today at a different more remote creek but it is raining and windy today.

Last night before bed I threw a bunch of chicken breast into ye ol' crocke pott with some fajita seasoning. I'm going to make home made tortillas later and we'll eat that for a few days. Hoping to see some losses this week, last week was shark week so I was bloated. This morning I weighed in at 227.8 after weighing in at 227.4 six days ago. I'm 15 days into working out regularly and tracking on MFP and I know week two is usually a stall week for me so that plus shark week was a double whammy of stallsville. I hope to not see that this week. I have goals. I want to lose weight!!! I'm trying really hard!! I decided to give up beer!!! *butnotwhiskeyorwine*

Aside from working out and making tortillas to go with the chicken for dinner I have no other plans today. Maybe I'll take a nap....
 
OOOOOOHHHHH! Nap... I wanna take a nap...

My right leg is really starting to ache today after my Zombies, brisk walking with occassional jogging! I was actually limping a bit by the time I reached home. I think it's just because I'm so new to the whole 'running' thing, never had this problem on the bike (I miss my exercise bike...). What I'm trying to say is that it's annoying when you hurt after exercising, it doesn't make you want to do more of it does it?

Just keep going though! The weight will drop off! (The song don't stop believeing just came on my itunes. It made me laugh!)

EDIT: BTW, I have to ask... what on earth is Shark Week? Does it involve actual sharks? or lawyers?
 
Shark week = "that" time of month. Lol! You know...a week one should for sure stay out of shark infested waters.
 
Ahhh, only I heard adverts on tv about a shark week, but never got to actually see it, so I wasn't quite sure what you meant... clearly not what the tv was talking about. For me it's Werwolf time. I transform into a proper vicious b*t*h. lol.
 
Down to 225.6, whoopwhoop!

Might be a scale anomaly but whatevs. Going to the gym and then...I don't know, sitting on the couch staring at the wall for a few hours.
 
kaplooie said:
You might ask me, "Why is it that you always get fat again, Kaplooie?" Simple answer. I like food and holding still for long periods of time. There. HONESTY! Refreshing I hope. No cure for that but to do what I don't like and that is show some sense of moderation and move more. Dammit. Anyways, hello to all, new and old. I'll be here, refreshing the diary page ceaselessly till I pass out from boredom so feel free to chat me up ;)
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I don't think anyone's all that mystified with your recurring weight gain, we all do it! I recently watched "Thanks For Sharing", which was about sex addiction, and I can see how it translates to food addiction. Not saying you are (or I am), but I can sympathize with the struggle they portrayed, and the cringe scenes when they fell back on their weaknesses....
 
I would never pretend that I was not addicted to food, I struggled with Bulimia as a teenager as a result of not being able to control myself around food. It would be like sucking my gut in and pretending I wasn't obviously fat. You put me in a room with food and I fucking lose it. One look in my pantry, aka: food hoard, would tell you I have issues. Deep disturbing issues. And I know being 100% up front about it with everyone in my life is something that will help keep me in check. For one, my boyfriend knowing full well what kinds of food he can bring home is huge, when we first started dating he'd bring pizza home, lots and lots of pizza and that is one of my worst trigger foods. It has been a huge lesson in disorder for him and thank god he is a very understanding and forgiving person.

I didn't make it to the gym today. The day got away from me. Well...the day got really real and I retired to my bed and hid under my covers for a few hours after a bit of bad news from some family. It was not cathartic and made me feel useless and a waste of a day but sometimes you just have to close the curtains, huddle under the blankies and hide from the world. It doesn't change anything and you still have to pull up your big girl panties when you are done and deal with life but for those few hours I felt safe.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm staying positive.
 
I like food and holding still for long periods of time.
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Ohhh, my love. I feel you. Story of my fricking life.

Your boyfriend sounds awesome :) So nice to have a support at home. Sorry about your bad news--You okay? *hugs*
 
Sometimes we all need to just hide away until we feel strong enough to face the world. Hang on sweetie & stay as positive as you can. Sending you much love xoxo Cate
 
Lucky to have such a good fella in your life! So I'm not the only one with food issues... I'm happy that you're able to somewhat control your demons.
 
Thanks everyone.
Cate, I got word that I didn't get a job I applied for, so it threw me for a loop. Me? Not get a job? Ya, reality sucks.

Little John, loosely controlled demons, they still rear their ugly little heads often. I still binge drink like I'm chowing down pizza and entmanns donuts.

Lesssssseeeee here, managed to work out five days last week, I was aiming for 6 but saturday night the BF and I went out for a date night, and then the kid phoned and said he was staying the night out so we decided to go to a bar not realizing it was high school graduation night and a whole slew of parents tasting freedom for the first time in 18 years were out. So...the BF didn't budge until noon, and then I took a nap around 1600 until 1830. No gym yesterday in other words. Hung chow.

But, got up with the sun this morning and we both hit the gym. I did 40 minutes on the elliptical, he did 20 and then went and lifted weights until he tweaked his shoulder. I weighed myself this morning and somehow I've mysteriously gained 4 lbs since my low of 225 last week. I've not over eaten by that many calories, in fact we've been doing pretty good in the eating right department around here so I don't know what is going on with me. Working out regularly, tracking cals, sleeping regularly. I don't get it. The BF sneezes and loses 5 lbs. I somehow find it. Life is not fair.

Today's biggest plan is to A) start season 5 of Dawson's Creek, haha; and B) make some headway on cleaning out the spare room and listing some crap for sale on the facebook buy/sell page for my area. I'm also going to go to the store and stock up on lower carb stuff. I just cannot do all the bread and noodles and crap that the other people in this house can eat. I think that's half the problem with not losing any weight. I've been trying to stay under 100g a day, I need to lower that.

Anyways, I'm going to do what I do best now and read some threads to procrastinate any cleaning...
 
It sucks that you didn't get the job you wanted--Never a good feeling. Glad you turned your mood around and went to the gym! I wish my chap would exercise with me. He just distracts me when we go swimming together and pretends to be a shark and pulls me under. He's a knob.

How did going to the store go? Lots of healthy stuffs?
 
Sunflower: Lol, the store was a bust. I got two bags of salad, a cucumber and some green onions. I was rushed. By someone with a severe fishing addiction who wanted to get home to the new box of flies he got in the mail. I have to take the kid for a haircut this afternoon so I'll hit the store while we are on that side of the island.

We made it to the gym again today, two day streak, HOLLAH!! *highfiveself* My heart rate was high through my whole workout, probably from dehydration, so I only did 30 minutes plus my ipod died halfway through my workout and I cannot deal with working out to the dulcet tones of CNN like some people can.

I really really want steak for dinner tonight. I don't know if its in the cards, or the budget but I'm planning on trying to make it happen. We've had chicken and fish for like, the last week. It's time for some cow. If anything I'll get cheap flank steak and make some kind of stirfry. Moooo goddamit.
 
lol. Sometimes you just need some steak. Though I have to say I love me some chicken. Ii don't eat enough of it. lol.

Good for you, gymming it for two days stright! I agree, CNN is not my choice of workout inducing material. though maybe if running away from it. lol.
 
the fishing addict has stepped out for the evenings high tide to go get me some black bass, or kelp perch...or both. Tonight we did something phenomenal. I bought a cheap hunk of pork belly and be fired up the bbq and grilled it. So good. Very satisfying even in the small portions that we allowed ourselves to eat. Served with some sauteed cabbage finished with tamari, and sesame oil. We are in love with the meal of course.

I set a goal for tomorrow at the gym. Will do 30 minutes on the elliptical and then, WEIGHTS!! Must build muscle!! Must increase metabolism!! Must lift heavy weights and stuff! Okay, I'm a bit excited but the BF has me all revved up to lift weights with him. And I can't just do cardio forever. Time to branch out.
 
Ohhh that sounds awesome! Where do you live that you are BBQ'ing outdoors already? It's fricking freezing here right now. I miss my BBQ. Grilled halloumi for the wiiiin. I love pork belly but it gave me food poisoning last time I was cooked it so it's put me off.

Glad you made it to the gym!
 
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