Hangs head in shame....back again***Diary of Kaplooie***

I've been busy today. I overdid it yesterday and had a huge energy crash around 2100 and dinner was not even complete yet. Worked out, ran around, gardening and my sister brought her bow over and we had some serious shoot the pin target practice. I forgot to eat all day and thats what killed me. I just got super cranky all the sudden and lost all interest in staying upright so I went to the room and layed down and the BF had to complete dinner cooking.

Cate: have not started the wall yet, but I know where I want it now, after walking back and forth between the target range and the house I know where I don't want it also, lol!

Today I was up and at em early. Went and talked to my friend that owns a bar and is looking for a daytime bartender. Sounds promising for a temporary job. At least get me off unemployment. And I love and miss being behind the bar. Ran into some friends at the bar and we are having a bbq at my house tonight so I had to come home and make deviled eggs and fauxtato salad (not a fan of potatoes). Went grocery shopping also and got some good sale deals, I love Mondays. The BF went fishing to try and get something fresh for the grill, but I also marinated more bulgogi, some american style bbq chicken and thawed out some salmon.
 
Oy, bbq=hangover. And I ate a cookie last night. Hating life today but I have to muster the gumption to get to the gym for delts and abs. I just need my headache and body ache to go away. Today might be a loss, if I do nothing else it needs to be the gym. But its almost 1300 here and I'm still in my pj's, lol! I feel like a slug.

that is all. Peace. I'm out. *drops mic*
 
Hi kaplooie-- Hangover days always screw me up. First, I don't feel like doing anything and then my motivation zaps to zero and I load up on junk food. Hope you make it to the gym and feel less 'sluggy'
 
I did end up making it to the gym. And again today. I feel much better.

Tomorrow starts a new week with my lifting program, a week that has two leg days in it and 5 days of lifting instead of 4. Whoa. Whooooaaaaaaaa! Shits gettin' real over here. Looking forward to it a little bit. But I'm crazy so there's that. Still going to do a bit of cardio before each weight session, I've been doing about 25 minutes the last few times I've gone, depending on how I feel I might bump that down to 20. Two leg days this coming week. Can you smell my fear?

The BF has to go back to work on Sunday. It was a fun off season, full of unemployment for me and vacation for him. He nearly filled a full quarter of the freezer (huge chest freezer) with Black bass and Perch and the salmon are starting to come in. Can't wait to sink my teeth into some fresh red roe. OMG its going to be so good. But, to work he will go and I will miss him. He lives at the bunk house during the season, because it's walking distance to his primary work site. We will make a whole bunch of pre-made burrito meals for him to pack into his mini-fridge freezer to grab and go on work days. And get him stocked up on quick oats for breakfast. He'll probably lose a million lbs and I'll find them all magically distributed on my arse.

Still no weigh in here, waiting for SW to be over. I swear, the older I get the longer it gets. TMI... #dontcare.
 
Lol. I need to start getting into eating more fish. Might go shopping today now that I've been paid. Salmon sound nice. Might make my own fish pies or something. Will investigate the ingredients.

Good luck with your new regieme!
 
I love fish pies! My mom makes the best.

Yesterday was leg day and damn am I feeling it today. I did walking barbell lunges yesterday and, while I killed it in beastess mode I am dying today. I have to keep reminding myself I did it to myself.

The BF went back to work today and I spent all day yesterday tearing apart the back bedroom (aka: junk room) and hauling everything in there out into the livingroom to be sorted through so I have to finish that today and get the livingroom back in order. I look like I live in a hoarder house right now. And my dog is sick. She must have eaten something gross because she's had liquid shits for two days now and this morning she puked twice. Now she's all lethargic and we are trying to get her to drink some water. I'll be doing a bunch of just being at home and watching her. Which fits the clearing of the hoard plan.

I got another call back for a job, and they had me fill out background check paperwork so that seems positive...fingers and toes crossed, send some positive vibes my way please!!
 
I am doing that right now......sending positive vibes your way kp........
Use your BF being away working as a time to shine. Get stuck into de-cluttering, eat fantastically healthy & get stuck into the exercise. Hope your dog gets better soon & that you get the job!!! xoC
 
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Thank you Cate! I am not a patient person so waiting all weekend about killed me and now I'm pacing. Haha. I need to put that nervous energy into a good solid workout today.

So I've decided to have a yard sale. I must be cray! I have too much crap and want to get rid of it. Who needs three unused old school cypress knee lamps that need rewired and shades? Not me. But someone probably does. The problem with having a yard sale "in these here parts" is that you have to get your friends to come over and police people. We have a population of cannery workers that show up in groups and lift stuff. One gets you engaged in a heated haggle and the others rob you blind. The other option is to get some friends who also want to have a boot/trunk sale and plan it so that we just occupy a local parking lot for an afternoon and sell things out of the backs of our cars and pick-ups. Anyways...I went down the rabbit whole with that one last night and came out the other end with even more crap in the livingroom.

The dog seems to be doing better since last night. She is eating and drinking and stuff is more solid on the other end. She even had some energy for some fetch late in the evening. Anyways, I'm off to start my day. And pace a whole in the rug.
 
Update: just got back from the gym and I killed it! Beast mode. Love bicep and back day! Of all the days at the gym its always my favorite. Because I'm building my guns! Haha!
 
Suns out guns out girls! No...not really but I killed it again at the gym today for triceps and chest day. I even earned the envy of a chick who now knows its a-okay for women to GRUNT in the weight room...lol! I'm increasing weights this week and I'm feeling it. My right arm is definitely stronger then my left so I'm working my left a few extra reps from now on. I only did 10 minutes on the elliptical today but the lady finally called to schedule the skype meeting with the boss! Tomorrow at 1100 I will be skyping with my possible new boss. WISH ME SOME FREAKING LUCK!!! I need it. Oy, I'm so nervous.

side note: Michelob Ultra...tastes like shit. You have been warned. Low carb and beer don't mix.
 
I think the freakin luck is working! Sounds like I'm getting a job offer tomorrow. I have another meeting with them at 1100 again to discuss a compensation package :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll play it cool, but it doesn't really matter how much it pays, I need it. YAY!
 
Lets start with the good news: I've been through and emotional wringer in the last 24 hours and I've survived with neither binge eating nor killing anyone. And I start my new job tomorrow.

The bad news. I had a terrible fight with the bf, he did some terrible things to me leading up to my having to have him arrested. He did not hit me or hurt me but the damage is done just the same. If our relationship survives this it will be challenging. Also, a very good high school friend of mine, whose parents live right down the street from me was found dead and floating in the pond behind my house. That is the emotional stress that started the huge fight with the boyfriend. It kind of all mashed together.

I'm trying to stay positive and low key. I will go start my new job in the morning and put my whole mind into it, and try and forget the weekend, and the boyfriend drama. But I can't lie, I'm hating life today. I want to crawl in a hole and hibernate.
 
KP- I couldn't find any appropriate words for the above I'm sorry. I can't begin to imagine what happened! Hope your 1st day at the new job goes ok xo Cate
 
Thanks Cate, my first day was interesting. I don't care for the lady I'm taking over for. I feel like she has basically triaged the job I'm taking over and I have a lot to do and she's holding back important information that I'll need to succeed these first few months. Basically I barely got my footing today and felt like I was only getting a fraction of the information I needed for even that. I'm used to functioning at a much higher level out of the gate.

The good thing about the job is I'll be setting my own hours so I will have plenty of time for the gym.

Tomorrow is my Moms birthday and the challenge of going out to eat and staying on plan. I still feel very emotionally raw from this weekend and I'm terrified of a binge. I'm sitting at 220.6 lbs right now and I want to be lower, 219 is just within my grasp, and that is my low weight from the last few years so I want to get below that just to keep something motivating me.

I talked to, and went and visited my boyfriend. I had to return some of his belongings that he left at my house. Right now his release conditions prohibit him from coming to my home for 7 days. That's because it's my sons primary residence and unfortunately my son witnessed his flip out and was the one to call 911 for help. We are not good. He is very angry that he went to jail, but was apologetic and realizes its his own damn fault. However, I think it's just over between us. I'm sad, yes, and I love him but all I see when I look at him now is a monster. And I don't like feeling, or being referred to as a victim and that is what I essentially am right now. I need to just move on.
 
Geez sorry to hear about all the drama going on lately. It sounds like it's better to just move on. It is sad... but that doesn't sound like a great situation for anyone. I don't think I could ever be comfortable with someone after I viewed them in that way. Focus on your new job! Congrats on that! Setting your own hours is great! :)
 
Grrrr...did not make good choices or self control at Mom's birthday party. I mean, it was sushi so I wasn't too bad but I ate too much. Ad then there was wine. Lots and lots of wine. And my sister made a chocolate quinoa cake that was sooooo good and bad at the same time. And then, champagne.

Anyways, today was back to low carb in earnest. I had a pretty active day. I'm lucky, my job is active. Lots of properties and running around. Lots of handy work, it is what I make it so I'm happy about that.

Had to go online and order a new computer today. Ouch. One of the major loss' last weekend was my boyfriend smashing my laptop to smithereens. *heavysigh* and I still have not officially ended things with him because now he is working pretty much nonstop to try and make enough money to pay a lawyer and save for having to pay restitution to me. I refuse to do this over the phone or by text. That's not closure, or an ending to me. And it's been really hard because I can't really talk to anybody about any of this. My sister knows but my parents don't and I dare not tell my new coworkers. Most of my friends are working long hours right now because the fishing season has started.

I made a moose roast for dinner tonight. It was good. Nice lean game meat with some red wine caramelized onions. One of the guys I work with traded me some smoked salmon for some moose, good trade. Took the dog for a walk tonight also but it was so warm and sunny out the I stripped down to a tank and laid down in the tundra and sunned myself while she frolicked in a mountain stream and chased the boy child. Not a lot of calories burned on my part there, lol.
 
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