General hysterical diet related rambling: From Flab to Fab.

AThanks everyone for your lovely words, but I am going to do it. Its the only hope I have of ever being happy. I was going to get my tummy done anyway... But no-one sees my tummy. Think it would be better off spent on something people see all day long.

I would rather have no money for a short while and eventually be happier with myself.

I probably do need help with my feelings. It always seems to be one thing after another that comes along and makes me completely miserable. I am a bit depressed. I probably have been for my entire life. And I will think about that, although counselling didn't work for me before.

But all the counsellors in the world wouldn't stop me looking like a man. It took me months and months to rebuild my confidence after it happened before. I can't go through my life feeling like this every time it happens, and I know that it will happen again and again and again because I do look like a man to some people. I am not going to say any more about this anyway, I hate being so negative. If anything it has given me an extra push to eat well, as I want to look the best I can when I get it done.

I am really sorry for just disappearing and neglecting everyone.
 
you havent disapoined anyof us,well at least not me,i do care for you and think of you and i was really worried for you.

you wrote |"But no-one sees my tummy. Think it would be better off spent on something people see all day long."


Its like you are saying im not doing for me but for others so i dont get negative reactions.Is that it?


I wanted to loose weight at start so i can get my husband proud of my looks,but i thoiught about it carefully and understood because i was overweight i was acting really silly,jealous,felt horrible , not pretty.It is about me feeling good.I think that should be the reason for any desicion we take either about weightloss or cosmetic surgery.Especially surgery,its something huge,specialy on your face.Your face.If 2people didnt give you that stupid comment would you consider it?would it have passed your mind?
 
AO hun... I bet you are feeling completely ganged up on...I hope you know ....that all we all want is for you to be happy. Plastic surgery is a very personal decision and no one can tell you what to do or not do. I also am looking at getting a tummy tuck after I reach goal and maintain for six months or a year...but mine reason is not so much vanity but comfort...my belly really hangs and I get sores sometimes...and it bounces around like a big bowl of jelly...just like Santa..ha-ha

...but for real...we will continue to support and cheer you on no matter what....and we will still tell you every single day that you are a beauty inside and OUT!! So get you cute little butt back on here and tell us all about your day!!!
 

I am ugly. I have a huge head, a long face, a wide wrinkled forehead, low eyebrows, tiny eyes, oily nose, bad complexion, huge eyebags, no cheekbones which makes my brow bone look more prominant, chubby lower cheeks, a wide jaw, and horrible teeth. And that's just my face, don't get me started on the rest of my body.


This sounds a lot like me but listen rainbow, we don't look at all alike. And you ARE very pretty. You are also depressed which is why you are deludedly thinking you are ugly and look like a man.


Now listen carefully my dear Ruth! What other reason could there be for that man telling you that you were a tranny or whatever it was. Because i am sure there is another reason. Could it not have been the way you were dressed rather than the way you actually look? I say this because once i said something like this to my therapist and she said to me "i wonder what you did to make him say that [awful thing about the way you look]. It didn't take me long to realise it was because of the way i was behaving that provoked that man to say such a hurtful thing about the way i looked.


So the upshot is, its not how your face that gives rise to comments like the one you mention. Its other factors. And changing your face won't make you any happier. I also have a fairly large face. My sister has a small one. And small heads are more feminine and prettier. Plastic surgery can't change the size of your face. But we here can see your picture and we can see that you are pretty. Your mind is seeing your face through the filter of depression and self-hate. You are not seeing yourself accurately.


Please don't go down the path of "surgery will fix everything and make me beautiful and happy" because it won't. It will only cost you lost of money. I worked in a cosmetic surgery once. I had a nose job - which i don't regret but it hasn't made me beautiful and my nose is still big. One of the other women who worked in the clinic had cheek implants and all sorts of thing. She got pregnant and then felt sad that her child wouldn't look anything like her.


You really should go back to therapy. So it didn't work for you before. Now its time to try it again and talk about why it didn't work before cause i really think you need some support with your life. Every time you see someone its different. So what happened last time will not be the same this time, though it helps to believe that they can help you. If you adamant that it won't help you, then it won't. Try to be open to it.


Hugs and kisses Ruth
 
AI have always wanted my cheekbones done at some point anyway. Just after a tummy tuck because I am so desperate to wear a bikini! Cheekbones is all I ever notice on people! When I am watching telly, I'm like "she's got nice cheekbones, oooh cheekbones, Hmm...her cheekbones are nice" Walking down the street I am like a barcode scanner with a little beep going off everytime I see someone with nice cheekbones, which is everyone. My brain has been in cheekbone mode for a long time :D It isn't only this that has made me want to get it done. I just love the high cheekboned look- Imagine if Lizhurley or any models had chubby lower cheeks and no cheekbones... they wouldn't look half as good. So yep, I am doing this for other people, but mainly for myself. I would rather get it done now, because If I start work or whatever then all of a sudden change my face it will somehow be more embarassing than doing it now. That said, I am not going to tell anyone else other than the boyfriend what I am doing until the week before I am doing it. Hell, I might just not tell anyone at all just to see if they actually notice what I have had done :) I will only get it done by someone who has done loads and loads of successful operations. I would be happy if a surgeon has done 70 or more cheekbone ops. I am only going to get the type that can be drilled into place as if it goes wrong, its on your FACE, out there, and there is no hiding it. When I wear sunglasses they are all "hangy"on my cheeks, only the huge ones touch my cheeks. I am cheekbone deficient. I am really looking forwards to getting it done. I know I'll always have a big face, and I don't ever expect to look like a hot babe or anything. But I will be so happy if I have nice cheeks :) Here's a side way on pic, to prove my 3/4 and side way on definite lack of cheekbones. I might be doing it for the wrong reasons, but I would look so much better with some definition.

rrrrrrr048.jpg


I am going to say no more about it till I get it done. And then I will be on here all cheek-bony and glowing :)

Thanks for that message Andrea :grouphug:. I thought that maybe the way I dress could have contributed to it last time, so this time I didn't wear as much eye make-up as I usually do when I go out, and I also wore a low cut top to show off my boobs. But it still didn't make any difference. I am feeling a bit better now.

Pheeeeeewwww ^^^^^^^^

So, the diet. Ahem. Welll....... Today I had 2 nutrigrains, a kfc twister with cheese meal, a danish pastry, a portion of chips, some apple pie, about 10 super sugary coffees, and I am itching for more junk right now. But tomorrow is a new day. I am going to give it my all for the next month. I am sick of eating all this rubbish.
 
Ruth ive been so so busy lately, and i know you are going through a hard time!! It hurts me to think you feel so crap about yourself when i think so much of you,


be strong dear, i cant wait to read your last couple of posts Monday:)


xxx
 
AHeya sweetie
Glad you are feeling somewhat better. And so glad you are up for getting back on track. Don't forget that we are ALL here for you to help you thru this.
So pleased you have stuck with us hun. As you can see, you mean an awful lot to us all.

Looking forward to reading all about your healthy/fit next few weeks.
 
Oh my sweet, you are so absolutely adorable. You look just like someone I went to college with last year. I do believe however it is a really personal decision to alter your appearance, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about getting the hump out of my nose but I'd have to win lotto to justify it to myself, haha!


It sucks you are going through a bit of a rough patch though, does the college you go to have free counselling services for students? When I was studying last year we had a counsellor free of charge plus a free-call hotline. I think pretty much everyone I was studying with went at some point over the semester, I went because I was having a hard time deciding if it was worth it not seeing my husband at all and barely scraping by with bills while working part time, got really down about it and wanted to drop out.


I really hope this passes quickly, and life gets a bit easier for you!
 
AHeya Ruth. Sorry to hear you've not been feeling good about yourself recently. We all have things we could change about ourselves. If you're actually wanting to go ahead and get surgery for it well thats your choice. I personally wouldn't. Im scared to death of the words plastic surgery lol. It seems so dangerous, and painful. I might get my ears pinned back if i could ever work up the courage. But realise that this might be a slippery slope. Try and see when enough is enough, if its just one thing leading to the next then you know thats not good for you. We will never be beautiful to everyone but to some people we are, and we must be to ourselves aswell, think of the things you do like about yourself, and accept the bad things, make up / clothes can always work in your advantage.
Just get back on track now Ruth! We can do it, just get started and you'll see how easy it was. One thing you can achieve by yourself is getting slim. Remember all those tasty meals you used to make full of veggies :p I don't know if you have time for that atm, i know i cba most of the time after i've been working. We won't feel very good about ourselves if we just get fat again then will we? :p Just start over again, make the decision, and try and stick to it, you can do it! I hope it goes better for you.
 
AIm so angry that you feel bad about yourself because we should all be presenting natural beauty! And that is so unfair that you take the stupid comments so seriously from strangers, I would have kicked him ass for sure!!! But like everyone have said, we all have our good sides and bad sides which we dont particularly like.

Ive been rejected by men for many times because Im FAT. Yes, believe it or not. Being skinny is so big thing nowadays, that most of the men doesnt want fat girl. And of course I was down every time that happened. Felt really ugly. And I still do, Ive very bad self image. My bf wants to say nice things to me but I usually reject him! And dont want him to say those things cos I dont feel in a that way. Crazy!! But Ive been fat for so long. I remember when I was 11 or so and my older sister called me fat and ugly all the time. Ever since I started to feel fat.

BUT I could never take the easy way out and take the plastic surgery. I totally understand if people want it for good, smart reason. Like getting rid of the hanging belly skin after losing weight a lot or so.. But getting the cheek implants is just shallow thing to do. It looks fake and you cant be sure will it look good. And if it wont, what happens then?? You can get rid of them for sure, but it will cost and your face will never be the same. And probably the nerves in your cheek will be destroyed! Terrible.. What your husband says about this anyway?? Mine wouldnt let me do it ever.

Im sorry hun if I sound rude saying all this. I dont want to be rude, I want all the good things for you!
 
Sorry to bang on about this. I really don't want to have to say it but i was trying to remember this point last time but it was not quite on the tip of my tongue. I knew there was something wrong with tracey's ears but i was thinking it was to do with a facelift. Only now i remember it wasn't because of a face lift. She was too young for that. It was a consequence of this operation. So i am just going to say this as something to look out for when you are searching for a surgeon. Raise it with the surgeon in your first consultation and make sure you get totally reassuring response. Otherwise is this happens to you then you should be able to go ahead and sue after.


With Tracey, she got her lovely high cheek implants but to get them put in they make an incision at the back of the ear. Tracey's ears are now pulled down low and it looks wrong so she can't expose her ears anymore as you would if you hadn't had a problem with them. I haven't explained it very well but see if you can see pictures around the ears of previous patients. Get him to explain where the scar will be and if it will affect how it looks around your ears. Say that you've heard it can look ugly afterwards and you will not find it acceptable to have this area made less attractive than it already is.


Also when you have surgery, the sometimes like to rush you through the risks of the surgery. They might even not bring some things to your attention until you have to sign a form just before going in to surgery . A bit late at that point to back out isn't it. So ask about all the potential problems up front in your first consultation or even your second one but definitely before you go into hospital.


Also make sure you find a plastic surgeon and not a cosmetic surgeon.
 
AOk enough with the plastic surgery talk....you made your choice and its yours ALONE to live with......now I want to see some pics of yummy food and you taking pictures of that cute little bum of yours in those awesome outfits!!! So how has your exercise been??
 
AThank you all so much :grouphug:. Your support and advice really means so much to me xxx

I know the whole plastic surgery thing is a slippery slope.... I am not seeking perfection though. Just a couple of little touch ups :) I guess the face is a sensitive issue.

Nick doesn't mind as he knows it'll make me happier, quite surprised that he hasn't got the hump about the money side of things though!

I have already decided what I am going to tell people if they notice the difference, I am going to say a giant cheekbone machine chased me down the street and punched me :)

I had a really good day at college :D We had such a laugh and it felt really natural now we are past the whole small talk stage. We went to Kew gardens which is a big beautiful park filled with exotic kinda greenhouses with rare flowers and plants and trees. I had a sneaky bag of fudge from the gift shop at lunch time... And after I felt terrible and couldn't even concentrate on anything. Also had a small sausage roll.

I did my healthy shopping last week didn't I.... Well, all the ingredients are slowly rotting away in the fridge and cupboards. Oh dear.

I really did want to eat healthily today... really. Tomorrow will be fabulous!!!!!

I may even get my lazzzzzy butt down to the gym. Got so much uni work already though and I rrrrrealy need to get on top of it before I drown!

Food
Eat natural bar, apple and cappuchino
Wild rice salad
Sausage roll and clotted cream fudge
Porridge
2 bowls of tomato soup
3 coffees.

Exercise
6 hours walking.
 
AHeya hun

Glad you are starting to settle into UNI!! (you might wanna call it college but i am gonna call it uni as it is such an achievement getting to uni that i think you should be proud of it!!!! :) )

You do what you feel you need to do girly, just make sure it's for YOU :)

You will get back on track hun, so don't stress it too much When things settle down a bit you will be on top of it all and flying....I have no doubt at all.

Love and squishies

Xx
 
A:D :D :D I am SOOO Happy for you that you are starting to feel comfortable with people at uni! This is so awesome for you! :)

And about the rotting goodies in the fridge - that just calls out 'CURRY TIME' to me! :)

xxxx
 
Happy 4 u rainbow~~~~getting a long fiiine at uni!!

Waiting to see your post tommorow saying that you went to the gum and feel fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


thinking of you:grouphug:
 
AI still feel like I am lying when I say uni! Its weird.... Me? Uni? It can't be true!!!!

Got so much work to do its unreal arrggghhhhh.

Hmmm Joh.... It is going to be curry time tomorrow, but I am going out for one! Meeting Nicks Dads new girlfriend for the first time tomorrow and there happens to be a rather fabulous and cheap buffet round the corner from me. Next week I am going to get easy peasy non-recipe healthy meals that I can just bung in the oven. I liked spending time cooking when I didn't have anything else to do, but now I just can't be bothered. :eek:

Today I had a big bar of chocolate, 4 slices of dominos pizza, one slice of garlic pizza bread, a chicken wing, sugary porridge, more tomato soup. I felt my feet taking me to the shop to get chocolate. They went of their own accord, I swear.

I've given one of the 10 gym sessions voucher to Nick, as I will only be able to go at weekends really. And maybe open a Thursday afternoon, but I would be super rushed. I am thinking that I am going to start getting up earlier and have breakfast (porridge that fills me up) and exercise at home. As of Monday I am going to do it! And why not restart counting calories as well? Hell yeaaaaah. I'm going to do calories. I want to lose 15lbs by Christmas. And no more sugar. At all. Its evil.

I promise you, and I promise myself, and I promise the universe that I WILL DO THIS!!!!!! REALLY!!!!!! I hate breaking promises. And I am not going to. Monday it is!
 
AWell done you on calling it uni :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

And yay, monday is gonna be a new start to a new you!! I count calories and i am obsessive about staying within them, it really works for me.

We are gonna get the weight gone by christmas!!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top