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Mady Thanks a lot, I do hope so!
Kate I will try and give lots of details to quench your nosiness
Princess I will be checking up on you shortly, hope your still here!
Joh I enclose a pic of me looking gore-geous

Its not even the worst pic of me... Just one that I put on the computer, the worst was even more awful but my phone broke so I lost my pics.
Andrea Wow, what was the retyreat like? Really glad your doing some painting

I would love to see a photo of them. I'm soing a few sessions of burlesque life drawing soon and I can't wait! Its a shame your not meditating every day. I will be checking up on you soon!
Hmmmm.... Well people, do you want the good news or the bad? The good news is that I have a computer again so I can come on here and do my uni work and buy lots and lots of impulse buys on ebay

The bad news, ahem, is that Nicks just moved back in lol. It didn't really go too well for the first few days but I had a bit of a rant and threw him out again, and now he is being nice. I hope the stressiness goes. As long as we can be friends, and share housework and child care, I think life will be better with him than without. I still haven't got a strong loving feeling towards him, but I am no longer disgusted with him, which is something. He has been great with the kids and they are really happy to have him back, and it means that I get to do things like going to the life drawing class, and I have time to myself. I fell so far behind with uni work because it was the kids half term but not mine, plus I had no time, energy or computer for uni work, so it makes sense al round really. It was the right decision I think, as long as he isn't an arse, I think we will muddle along okay.
The cheeks... Well, this is what I looked like, just for Joh lol...
I haven't got a camera to show you just yet (lost my old one and bought a new one today on ebay), but y left cheek is quite a lot bigger than my right one, unfortunately. The surgeon is a weasily arse and I hate him. He was lying to try and get himself out of it. My right eye is slightly bigger than my left, and my right cheekbone was a tiny bit bigger too, and he said that he will carve the right one smaller so I am less unsymmetrical, but he made it much too small, and there is loads less sideways projection, and when i am wearing sunglasses they sit on one cheek and hover a few mm's above the other one. He said that maybe we could do fat grafting to even it up if its still like that in late may, he didn't say if it would be free or not, but I should bloody hope so. That said, I do think I look loads better overall. Here's an after pic, sorry it isn't better, but I have no camera or phone at the moment and Nicks lost the wire for his phone pics.
Now I guess I should tell you all about my food eeeeeek. Well, I have gone up a dress size and put on 11 pounds altogether. Its incredible the difference that little bit of weight actually makes on me. Without it I have a tummy that looks reasonably flat in clothes, and no double chin, and with it, I turn in to a lard arse. I can no longer fit comfortably into size 12 clothes, although I am managing to shoe horn myself into them somehow... I just don't want to admit defeat and buy fatter clothes! I sad to myself I would never buy clothes above a size 12 again, and I MEANT IT!!!!
I think my biggest problem at the moment is sugar. I am getting through a big packet once every two days I am at home! Really! I am no longer measuring it in spoonfuls in my tea, not even tablespoons, I am measuring it in inches. It makes me feel quite sick thinking about it... I have just stopped tasting sugar, even eating it out of the packet it doesn't taste quite sweet enough. I am having at least 10 cups of tea a day... probably more. All I ever think about is SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR. I have even been eating chocolate in the mornings, how bad is that? I am in complete and utter panic mode at the thought of giving it up. I have done a weekly healthy shop, and I bought two jars of sweetener, and coffee, which I haven;t been drinking much of, because I hate the taste of tea with sweetener, but don't mind it in coffee. I have also got some cappuccino sachets for uni which is less calorific, and will save me money. I really think if I win my battle with sugar that everything else will just fall into place. I am totally in love with the eclectic mixed prints clothes out this spring, and I want to be buying loads of them, in a size 10! I don't like spending much money on clothes whilst chubby cos I think "what's the point, I'll just look shit anyway". Ooooh, and also, I don't know if anyone remembers my silly weight loss visualisation story thing for them 30 days of questions, but I imagined myself in a posh restaurant, and on groupon I've just bought a lobster and champagne two course meal for two in a posh Chelsea restaurant. Which expires in August, so I am going to wait till I'm a size 10 again, then use that to celebrate. I haven't tried lobster before, and I'm quite looking forwards to it

Well, I would be, because its food. And I always look forwards to food lol, which is why I'm NOT looking forwards to the next few months lol.
I found a fabulous old clapped out vintage bike a while ago, which I love, but I have bought all the stuff I need to make her beautiful and functional again today, and I am intending on riding the 5 miles to uni and back every day I'm in, which is three days a week, plus another day if I go there to study. I thought that'll save me money on travel, plus get me some exercise, and you'll never believe it, it'll actually be quicker than buses and trains if I do an average of 10 miles per hour. Its two long straight arterial roads I have to ride down... Its a bit scary, but only 10 people a year die on their bikes in London which isn't too bad, so I reckon it'll be fine. But I am worried. I have bought a bright pink waterproof poncho so I am more unmissable.
Am also looking at running machines on ebay.
I had vegetables today! Yeah, I knoooooow! Amazing!!!! Haha. I also did loads of walking and looked in all of the ridiculously expensive antiques shops in Angel. Whih probbaly means nothing to y'all, but its a poshish part of my borough

60 grand chinese vase, anyone? "YES PLEEEEASE" I hear you chorous. Ahem. Anyway, I walked for at least two hours today, shame about the three lunches, but such is life. Tomorrow will be day one. I am going to eat fruit now!!!!! Yup, really!
Love to you all xxxxx