Gaining ME, kicking DQ to the curb

G

GainingME

New member
I would like to use this space as a place where I can tell on myself to keep myself honest, and use it as motivation.

I didn't weigh myself this morning- there was no power due to the Nor'easter and it was too cold without the heat on.

I had a great week. I met my calorie goals. Until tonight. I "celebrated" by going to DQ. DQ has always been my addiction.

I don't want DQ in my life. I want ME and my goals.

Why was this so much easier when I was younger? I wonder.
 
Hi and Welcme to the WLF :)

It always strikes me as odd when the fleeting thought crosses my mind that "I deserve x,y or z"

You're so right - we deserve to reach our goals and be happy with where our bodies are - we deserve the satisfaction of knowing we're working towards those goals.

It's great you are able to kick DQ to the curb :)
 
Thank you, M2M. I haven't yet licked the DQ habit...wait...poor choice of words. :D I really do want to kick DQ to the curb. I hope that by writing here I will have a fighting chance. I should have written here before and not after, but "pride" kept me from doing it.

I see how much weight you have lost. Amazing. So inspiring!
 
Tea, not self-sabotage

It's evening, when I start thinking in terms of failure. So instead of turning on myself I made some tea and am writing this post. I'm thinking things like:

"Oh, screw this nonsense and just eat whatever you want already! Start again tomorrow."

"You're not FAT. In fact you look just fine. So what if you aren't looking and feeling your best if it means giving up Dairy Queen and pizza!"

"It's not worth the effort."

So now I'm fighting back:

"Oh, screw this nonsense and just eat whatever you want already! Start again tomorrow."

Nonsense? I AM eating what *I* want, not what my cravings are dictating!

"You're not FAT. In fact you look just fine. So what if you aren't looking and feeling your best if it means giving up Dairy Queen and pizza!"

Not only do I not look and feel my best, I let myself down every time I do something that goes against what I know is healthy for me. If I could have just a slice of pizza, or a small cone, that would be fine. But I know that it becomes all or nothing, and leads to cycles of guilt and shame.

"It's not worth the effort."

It may not seem so right now when I'm not yet at my goal and getting back into my old good habits, but wait until I fit into THOSE pair of jeans, the ones I can't fit into.
 
I'm learning that more times than not when I am "hungry" it's either my appetite for junk or I'm bored.

I'm also realizing that my problem isn't DQ so much as what I was eating when I wasn't DQing (OK, I just made DQ a verb.)

I've had more energy even though I am having fewer calories- no more carb funks.
 
Hey there- welcome to the forum! We don't have Dairy Queens in Upstate NY but I'm quite thankful for that! I'm actually allergic to dairy so I'm really not supposed to have ice cream but we have this amazing parlor that serves fat free soft frozen yogurt that's to die for, so naturally I indulge every so often and end up feeling quite ill!

Nevertheless, keep going- you don't have much to lose!
 
Crazybecka88 said:
Hey there- welcome to the forum! We don't have Dairy Queens in Upstate NY but I'm quite thankful for that! I'm actually allergic to dairy so I'm really not supposed to have ice cream but we have this amazing parlor that serves fat free soft frozen yogurt that's to die for, so naturally I indulge every so often and end up feeling quite ill!

Nevertheless, keep going- you don't have much to lose!
Click to expand...

Hey, Becca! :) Believe it or not, dairy makes me feel ill, too. I have IBS, and wheat & dairy sets it off. Like you, it hasn't stopped me before. I do cut out dairy otherwise, except for pizza (which I'm not trying not to have until I meet my goal).

I know, it's only ten pounds, but I put them on eightish years ago and could never take it off, so for me it's going to be hard, like breaking some sort of sound barrier. I realize though that I have more to lose if I don't do it. I read your journal and can relate to the obsessing on what I just ate, regret, etc. It takes up so much time! I want to get re-aquainted with life outside of overeating and over thinking.

Drop by any time. :D
 
I stuck to my plan since my last DQ on MOnday. I exercised. I got out for walks today.

I just had DQ.

But, I think I need to plan for this. I don't think I can give it up or have it only 2x a month. I can give up everything else that sabotages me, but damn you, DQ! I know, I'm the one that ate it. It was really good, too.

SO, the plan is, I am going to start planning for it. Instead of 1,600 calories a day I will aim to have 1,500 which will allow me to have a medium Blizzard once a week and stay within my goal.
 
Baby Bells Aren't Dumb

In my 20's I was curling 15 pound dumbbells and worked out my arms at the gym. I was extremely fit at 137 pounds. Then, in my late 20's, as a result of working as an office clerk doing tons of filing, I developed tendinitis in my wrists and also "myofascial overuse syndrome" in my arms. I received physical therapy for it a few times, but it only made it worse as the exercises they gave me were too much. When I told them I always got an eyeball roll type response. I gave up on having fit arms since all the exercises the PT people gave me made me hurt even more (not in a good muscle ache kind of way, but that flare-up burning feeling).

I bought some one pound dumbbells. I had too much pride for many years to admit that lifting these just once hurt.

For the last two weeks I have been kind to my arms and self. I'm sure my muscles have atrophied. I am doing what I can handle. I am taking it slowly. If I can only do two lifts so be it- it's better than none. I want to work back up to my old routines, even if it takes years. I've learned to listen to my body- not "experts." I CAN do this in a way that will gradually build my muscles back up. I don't have to have flabby arms as I grow older! Plus, I love to be strong.
 
GainingME said:
Hey, Becca! :) Believe it or not, dairy makes me feel ill, too. I have IBS, and wheat & dairy sets it off. Like you, it hasn't stopped me before. I do cut out dairy otherwise, except for pizza (which I'm not trying not to have until I meet my goal).

I know, it's only ten pounds, but I put them on eightish years ago and could never take it off, so for me it's going to be hard, like breaking some sort of sound barrier. I realize though that I have more to lose if I don't do it. I read your journal and can relate to the obsessing on what I just ate, regret, etc. It takes up so much time! I want to get re-aquainted with life outside of overeating and over thinking.

Drop by any time. :D
Click to expand...

Hey! I tried doing the wheat-free thing but I became really sick on it, actually. I was diagnosed with IBS but I question the diagnosis! I too wish I could overcome my addiction to food- every day counts I suppose and even if just a few hours pass where I am not occupied by obsessive thoughts of food, I recognize that as an accomplishment... How was your weekend?
 
Crazybecka88 said:
Hey! I tried doing the wheat-free thing but I became really sick on it, actually. I was diagnosed with IBS but I question the diagnosis! I too wish I could overcome my addiction to food- every day counts I suppose and even if just a few hours pass where I am not occupied by obsessive thoughts of food, I recognize that as an accomplishment... How was your weekend?
Click to expand...

Hey...

My weekend....

Well uh...

Crap.

Exercise-wise it was excellent, but tonight I went astray. :( My husband made a junk food run and I got into some ice cream. I did measure it and recorded my transgressions in fitday as I always do. But this is a pattern I have and don't know how to break. I am good all week and then blow it on the weekend.

It's obvious that I can't handle sugar, not even a little. I don't know why I keep trying to moderate it when I can't. In fact, looking over fitday from the last six months, if I cut out all of my sugar I'd be well within the calorie range I want to be.

I quit smoking almost eight years ago. I don't drink. Why can't I give up sugar?????
 
GainingME said:
Hey...
I am good all week and then blow it on the weekend.

It's obvious that I can't handle sugar, not even a little. I don't know why I keep trying to moderate it when I can't. In fact, looking over fitday from the last six months, if I cut out all of my sugar I'd be well within the calorie range I want to be.

I quit smoking almost eight years ago. I don't drink. Why can't I give up sugar?????
Click to expand...

Hi there! Yes, I too am a 'strict, diligent dieter' until the weekend when my will power goes unwilliingly [nice pun, eh] out the window- I suppose it may be attributed to a difficult combination of boredom, loneliness, exhaustion and a feeling that you "deserve" to treat yourself. Perhaps this is something we can work on together? I don't drink either, so without sugar I know I would be so much smaller. I cut it out entirely for two months and felt so much better- Perhaps from today forward we should cut it out- all refined sugars? I think I will... I'm tired of feeling so bloody guilty all the time so its easiest if I just stop eating it!

So, as of today, NO MORE ice cream, candy or other sweet things that are composed entirely of bad, refined sugars-okay!
 
Crazybecka88 said:
Hi there! Yes, I too am a 'strict, diligent dieter' until the weekend when my will power goes unwilliingly [nice pun, eh] out the window- I suppose it may be attributed to a difficult combination of boredom, loneliness, exhaustion and a feeling that you "deserve" to treat yourself. Perhaps this is something we can work on together? I don't drink either, so without sugar I know I would be so much smaller. I cut it out entirely for two months and felt so much better- Perhaps from today forward we should cut it out- all refined sugars? I think I will... I'm tired of feeling so bloody guilty all the time so its easiest if I just stop eating it!

So, as of today, NO MORE ice cream, candy or other sweet things that are composed entirely of bad, refined sugars-okay!
Click to expand...

Becca, yes, let's do this!

I actually lived sugar-free for almost ten years, except for Christmas when I allowed myself to eat what's in my stocking! I was a compulsive sugar overeater growing up, and found the book "Sugar Blues" by William Duffy in my early 20's. After reading it, I realized I was addicted to sugar. Then, I changed my ways after I got married. I thought I could handle it.

I want to go back to living this way. Instead of forever or months, will you commit to one month with me, starting today? I don't mean then we should blow it after that, but I know at least for me breaking it down might make it seem less overwhelming. After one month we can evaluate the next period of time.

How does that sound? :)
 
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