1. I can read and translate Latin and Ancient Greek.
2. I have relocated dislocated fingers, and set broken fingers without much blinking, but if I see myself getting a shot or blood drawn, I'll pass out in seconds, and all the 4'10 80 pound nurses love getting crushed by giants.
3. I still haven't paid the taxes on my car for 2007, and have been putting off doing it because I have no idea what to do, as I never even got the sheet in early 2007 to report that I had a car in that county, so now I am stuck unable to get a new license plate in my new state because I can't show that I paid taxes on the car (because I didn't)
5. I can't count well
My accident history is always a topic of discussion at family picnics and whatnot.
I hear you there, brother.
1. Trip down the stairs in the walker as a baby... broke my nose and cheek on the cement wall
2. Broke my nose getting headbutted in wrestling, got it stuffed up, got it headbutted again seconds later
3. Got my fingers caught in the facemask of someone's football helmet when they ducked in 7th grade. Instead of being rational, I just put my other hand on it and pulled as hard as possible... Left middle and pointer fingers broken and dislocated.
4. While kleeted in, I got my ankle bent over a helmet, breaking my foot my last football game senior year in highschool. I hopped out, had it taped up, popped two pain killers at half time that I had left over from a recent injury, and went back in to the game.
5. a couple months after that ankle injury, before the first wrestling match of that same year, a freshman challenged me to my varsity spot, and the coach made me either wrestle him or give up the spot. I toyed with the kid for the whole first period, just trying to keep my ankle out of the equation. He won the toss for the start of the second and chose top, and ankle-picked my bad ankle (grabbed and pulled up) on purpose, not quite breaking it, but causing me a ton of pain. I screamed, bucked him off of me, threw him, jumped on top, and drove into him as hard as I could, breaking my weak ankle again.
6. While catching someone falling from a big height, my buddy didn't bend his knees at all, but ended up headbutting me, sinking his teeth into the skin right above my eye, tearing it off so it was hanging down over my eye. The trainers at the gym didn't have any anisthetic on hand, so I just told 'em to sew it up without any. I tell that story now to sound tough, but if you ask them I whined like a 3 year old girl the whole time.
7. While doing backflips, I ended up slipping and not getting around all the way, so I put my hand down to try to stop myself, and bent my hand in half, splitting my longfinger metacarpal in half and driving the top part up partway into my wrist.
8. While drunk on the beach, play fighting my uncle turned into a real fight. I pushed his face in the sand, realized I'd gone too far, let him up to appologize, he started swinging, and I tried to throw him... no real footing for that on the sand, so we both went up and came down on my shoulder... seperated, dislocated, and I tore the muscles off of it.
9. Drunk and running through the forest after a long day of floating down a river drinking only beer in the july sun of Missouri... I misstepped and took a sharp stick about an inch into my calf. I kept going, not really noticing much till I got back to the fire, and my socks were all wet. Pouring vodka into the hole and trying to cover up the hole with a couple of star wars bandaids I found in my truck seemed like a good idea at the time to fix it.
10. Screwing around with a couple of girls, and one of 'em kicked at me, and I went to catch it, and she caught my pinkie finger wrong. Broke the long bone in the digit, and dislocated it at that knuckle. I popped 'em back in, trying to act tough in front of the womens. I did it wrong, didn't see a doctor about it till much later, and now I have poor mobility in that finger, and that finger pops out at that knuckle (great party trick).