Fear of Thin...

Darth Pooh said:
Wow, this is written with women totally in mind.
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Most weight loss type articles are written with women in mind.

When it comes to losing weight the general mindsets are:
Men: drink less, eat less, exercise more, lose weight, done.
Women: blah blah blah, slim fast, blah blah, starving,, blah blah, ,chocolate, oh no i gained 2 ounces, blah blah :D

more women seem to get stuck in their heads than men do...
 
maleficent said:
Most weight loss type articles are written with women in mind.

When it comes to losing weight the general mindsets are:
Men: drink less, eat less, exercise more, lose weight, done.
Women: blah blah blah, slim fast, blah blah, starving,, blah blah, ,chocolate, oh no i gained 2 ounces, blah blah :D

more women seem to get stuck in their heads than men do...
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Thanks for saying that... I got into an argument with a coworker of mine today, he tried to tell someone that it was harder for women to lose weight because of their physiology. I told him that he was giving out bad info and that while it is true that men can burn more calories due to muscle mass, if a woman actually follows calories in vs calories out, than its the same equation. She then asked me why can men do it "easier" and I said men don't normally have the same emotional attachment to food as women do and that allows men to have more willpower in the area of weightloss (obviously, not every area and I don't want a bunch of hens telling me I am being sexist ;) ).
 
maleficent said:
Most weight loss type articles are written with women in mind.

When it comes to losing weight the general mindsets are:
Men: drink less, eat less, exercise more, lose weight, done.
Women: blah blah blah, slim fast, blah blah, starving,, blah blah, ,chocolate, oh no i gained 2 ounces, blah blah :D

more women seem to get stuck in their heads than men do...
Click to expand...

You forgot the blah blah blah, PMS give me salt and chocolate and I won't rip your head off and don't even THINK about the scale right now or I will make you listen to me as I disparage myself about my fat :p

Darth Pooh - actually, there are real, hormonal reasons why a woman's body looses weight more slowly than a guy's. Sure the law of energy balance applies, but a woman's body is more adapted to hold on to fat for reproductive and infant rearing purposes. Also, when a woman hits peri-menopause and full menopause, the imbalance in the hormones really slows the process down.

It's not so much a matter of harder to loose weight - but women definitely are the tortoises in the weight race, not the hares :) It can be very discouraging to be doing the same things as your male counterparts(creating a calorie deficit in keeping with your body's needs, observing good nutrition and doing several hours of cardio and strength training exercises each week) and only seeing a fraction of the results they see. It isn't that the principles don't apply to us, it's just that we don't respond as quickly as the guys do when we put those principles into practice.

Not smacking you down, just adding my 2 cents :)

God Bless,
mik
 
mikitta said:
You forgot the blah blah blah, PMS give me salt and chocolate and I won't rip your head off and don't even THINK about the scale right now or I will make you listen to me as I disparage myself about my fat :p

Darth Pooh - actually, there are real, hormonal reasons why a woman's body looses weight more slowly than a guy's. Sure the law of energy balance applies, but a woman's body is more adapted to hold on to fat for reproductive and infant rearing purposes. Also, when a woman hits peri-menopause and full menopause, the imbalance in the hormones really slows the process down.

It's not so much a matter of harder to loose weight - but women definitely are the tortoises in the weight race, not the hares :) It can be very discouraging to be doing the same things as your male counterparts(creating a calorie deficit in keeping with your body's needs, observing good nutrition and doing several hours of cardio and strength training exercises each week) and only seeing a fraction of the results they see. It isn't that the principles don't apply to us, it's just that we don't respond as quickly as the guys do when we put those principles into practice.

Not smacking you down, just adding my 2 cents :)

God Bless,
mik
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Didn't think you were smacking me down at ALL... you added very good points, and I do agree with the hormonal issues, however, they have been found to be negligible when someone actually alters their daily life style to create a deficit. People in general do not properly educate themselves so without the proper tools, they tend to fail at most things. However, I am comparing the people who are equally educated in the balance of diet and exercise. Not the casual dieter either... they throw off results like a champ.

If things are done proportional to men vs. women, the weightloss can be just as dramatic in both. But you are right, I won't deny the hormonal inbalances at all between the two genders, thanks for keeping me straight there.
 
Bumping since Mal mentioned it, and I was on vacation and missed it completely the last time it got bumped.

This is relevant to the most-recent post in my diary, so I want to come back and give the thread a good read through later.
 
there's a lot of chatter and fluff interspersed but the original article and exercise in the atrcile is a good read and worth doing...
 
miss_apple_tart said:
I totally relate to this, especially the fact that weight loss will make me have to face other life changes.

Another thing for me, and I will be really happy if someone else can relate to this because I feel like I am totally insane and crazy for feeling this way...but I feel that if I lose weight then I am giving into the pressures of society. I feel like I will be a hypocrite because I have been going around preaching that you can still be big and beautiful if you are fat.
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But thats totally a smart way of being - starting from the position of - I'm beautiful the way I am - so by just embracing that - you completely thwart the indirect reason you are trying to lose weight - which is - not to look like a Hollywood star, but to be healthier and more happy within yourself period. I think your attitude is great.
 
:seeya: Very interesting thread. I have lost weight before...and gained it back. My reason for losing was different in the past, as my health was not a concern before, and it is this time around. I am older and wiser, and realize where I went wrong before, and that it really cannot be a diet - must be a total lifestyle change. I wish it could be easier, but it cannot; at least, not for me.

Sometimes I am a bit scared by how much better I feel about myself. I do not like vanity in other people, and I do not like it in myself, either. However, I have no problem with not being down on myself, and actually having confidence and liking what I see in the mirror now! I think DH is a bit scared by it (especially my newer and greater confidence), but I need to give him as much grace as he has shown me through the years. We both are getting used to me being somewhat different than I was before in various ways. Not every way, just some ways. It is my sincere hope and belief that I have improved myself, and will continue to do so as the years roll by. This life is such a journey! :driving:Enjoy it.

Cheers and best wishes to all my fellow travelers,
ABBA
 
I used to be afraid to lose weight. I kind of went out last summer and these guys starting whistling at me and they were at the house where drug dealers were. So I was afraid to lose weight. So I stopped leaving my house. There was a gang down the street with machine guns and heroin ..they got nailed ..they are gone ..the drug dealers across the street are gone ..there are sexual predators all up and down the two streets that corner mine, but I dont walk at night and go down back streets when I dont feel safe .. I just duck the bad parts

but it took a lot to get me out ... it took me weighing 320 pounds and looking gross in the pic last Christmas 2006 ..so I started walking ...

And I just got more whistles recently and there not the greatest guys ..but being afraid of being raped is not going to stop me from losing weight .. I just wont go out at night ...

I can be thin and be safe ..
I am not so much scared of losing weight anymore

and I think the article was right on! Good article Mal!

always
natalie jo
 
nataliejo said:
..but being afraid of being raped is not going to stop me from losing weight .. I just wont go out at night ...

I can be thin and be safe ..
I am not so much scared of losing weight anymore
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Have you considered a tae kwon do or karate class? If I'm to understand right, that would kill two birds with one stone :) You get into pretty good shape working out a couple of times a week with others, and also learn to defend yourself. Not that it's necessarily a good idea to go out at night alone anyways, but you never know what might happen. A class like that is something I've been thinking about pretty seriously myself, except for the fact that they're kind of expensive.
 
nataliejo said:
And I just got more whistles recently and there not the greatest guys ..but being afraid of being raped is not going to stop me from losing weight .. I just wont go out at night ...
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I agree with the person above me that I forgot to quote about karate classes, but short of that keep loud whistle (personal siren, I think they're called) and/or pepper spray or mace or something for just in case.

I've had that happen to me, too. It was more than just mildly unpleasant. I stopped walking, too. When i started again, I changed my route to escape that place where it'd happened.

Anyway, just an idea I stole from somewhere. Have fun! Be safe!
amber
 
Wow, that article had a lot of interesting points...things that I suppose I never really consciously thought of. And everyone has given great insight and food for thought.

I do understand the concept of keeping the fat as a 'buffer' to things around you that make you uncomfortable...especially for those of us that have been overweight most of our lives...being thin is alien territory. It can take some getting used to.

When I was around 16-17 years old..I lost about 60lbs and got down to about 150lbs, and didnt look half bad. I used to get terribly upset when people who would have NEVER spoken to me as a fat person tried to befriend me then as a thinner me. It was very insulting to me and usually those were not the people I chose to be around. I had the mindset of a 'fat' person for a long time after that. It took a while for me to 'see' myself as a thinner person and start to get used to it.

It's a shame I have let myself get overweight once more, I'll have to go through all the emotional garbage again. Being fat is truly an insulator for things that may seem scary. Its a great excuse for not doing/trying new things.

Sad really.
 
thanks guys,
but I dont have the money for a karate class .. I think karate class would be a great idea :iagree: Ive always wanted to learn although ..my sister knows how to kill a man with her hand and wrist in one blow ..she is awesome

but anyway the whistle ..sounds like a fantastic idea :iagree:

but I am still not going out at night lol
for obvious reasons ..too much bad activity .. u know

but thanks
love yas
natalie jo
 
Great article. I think making a list like that is good because it gets all those demons and unspoken fears out there into the world so you can take a look at them. I'll definitely need to do this and really think it over.
 
Elegance said:
1. I am afraid I will fail and look stupid.
2. I'm afraid after I loose weight I will still feel like I look ugly.
3. I'm afraid I'll never get to eat all the fatty foods I love.
4. What will I feel bad about after I loose weight? What will I worry about? More importantly, what excuse will I have for having a low self-esteem?
5. What if I don't have enough money to buy a new wardrobe :) ?
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All good points, and I'll add another . . . I'm afraid of all the excess skin. Make no mistake, there will be a significant amount of that for me. I've been way too fat for way too long not to experience that. Surgery is not an option for me. However, since I have restarted my journey, I have come across many people - both on this site and others - that say once all is said and done excess skin is not as bad as they'd originally feared.

I also came across one woman's personal website where she had a long blog about her excess skin and her fight to just deal with it. According to her she had an inordinate amount of excess skin. The pics I saw of her . . . you could not see it at all! She looked spectacular! In the end she simply said, "Excess skin won't kill me. Obesity will." I'm hanging on to that.
 
I am afraid to lose weight because..

1) when I was thin I was abused
2) when I was thin I was so depressed I couldn't function most days

but mostly.....

3) If I lose weight I will have to learn to love myself, and I don't know how to do that.
 
This was an eye-opening exercise that shows how much I have to cultivate to foster healthy self esteem and confidence. I'm going to list my top two, seeing as I think in paragraphs and can never give short answers. I'm all about details and elaboration.

1) It's easier to be fat because the fat is an umbrella insecurity blanket-- it is easier to use it as a scapegoat than deal with the self esteem issues of weight loss.

For example, I now battle with the stigma of small breasts. I went from one extreme to the other and am constantly subjected to comments injurious to my self esteem. My mother likes to pick on me a lot. “Why do you spend so much money on Victoria’s Secret bras when you do not have breasts to fill them? I bet yours sag even though they are small—think of the extra skin!” It’s difficult to feel confident about my changing shape when I constantly have to fend off such comments from family and friends. When I fret over how a bra can be worn with certain shirts or dresses my friends and coworkers laugh at me and tell me that I have no reason to be worrying about that, that there’s no reason I need to wear a bra anyway.

Clothing is another issue; it is difficult now to find anything that fits because my torso is so petite. I can shop in the little girls department. I am constantly defending myself against accusations that I am too thin, that I am mentally unstable.

2) I am afraid of being thin because it increases the ability to shunt me into the relationship arena and opens me to prey to males. I've always felt threatened by men and my weight loss has started to draw their attention. At work, those who wouldn't even look at me before have noticed and tried to hold conversations. Adipose tissue is the perfect barricade to lock myself in and keep others out... but it is disappearing.... I am twenty-two and I still feel threatened when I am walking my dog and pass a driveway of young male teenagers playing basketball. I feel like I am in danger and need to get out of the area as quickly as possible. The young landscapers are the worst; they think they are immortal with their muscular bodies and tans, honking at me as the drive up from behind. I’ve really learned to rely heavily on the middle finger.

I used my excess weight as an excuse not to involve myself in relationships: if I couldn’t properly care for myself, why would anyone want me in my neglect? My friends nag me, saying there is nothing to hold me back, that all the reasons I now spout in avoiding men are excuses. They do not want to hear that I’m focusing on my studies and working full-time to support myself to afford college and to survive, that I want to focus on starting a career and don’t want to bother with relationships. I don’t want to devote time I do not have. There’s entirely way too much on my plate between work, school, and family, that it wouldn’t be fair. If I barely have the time to devote to my dog, allocating time for a partner seems dim.
 
steadfast_minx said:
but mostly.....

3) If I lose weight I will have to learn to love myself, and I don't know how to do that.
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You know I want nothing more than for you to love yourself as much as I love you. :beating:

For those who don't know, I'm her husband. Not some creepy guy hitting on someone I don't know on the intarwebz! :smilielol5:

EDIT: I'm a moron and just realized that I've made my last few posts under Sarah's account! Doh!

-lucidspoon
 
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