Fear of Thin...

I totally agree with that article

I've always been a little "chunky" but in my 20's I gained about 80 pounds after quitting smoking. In my early 30's I lost 60#. I felt more uncomfortable with the positive attention that I received than I did with the negative attention from being overweight. I did regain the weight though and that's why I'm here.
 
my reasons

:( I think i need help with alot of this.I am not good with tring to loss weight and these are my reasons.

1.What if its not worth it after i do loss the weight?:(

2.What if i still dont look good in a smaller pants size?:(

3.What if i still dont feel good wearing a shirt that DONT go to my thights?:(

4.What if i have alot of hanging skin that looks worst then it does now?:(

I ask myself this stuff and come up with alot of bad things for each one and then i go eat something and think o well i wont be worth it.:mad:

Everytime i try to loss weight i do it for like 2-3 weeks and then someone will say are you lossing weight or wow you have lost some weight. :eek: I dont know why but ever time someone tells me that thats it i stop trying and gain it all back.Then think why would it bother me so much that someone could tell i lost weight?

For most people i think someone telling them this just gives them more of a reason to try lossing more.BUT NOT ME.:confused:
 
I also worry about when I do get skinny and make new friends...are they really going to like me for me? Would they like me if I was still fat? Because honestly, I don't want to befriend anyone who wouldn't like me no matter what I looked like.
 
This is a hard exercise....I don't really fear being thin, I'm super excited to not be a fat blob anymore.

So maybe I'll reverse the exercise---6 things I'm looking forward to:

1. I'm enjoying people saying things like 'Wow, you look great!' or 'You're losing weight aren't you?'
2. I'm also enjoying the double takes that guys are giving me now and really look forward to being a skinny minny and getting those looks.
3. I'm also noticing that my body feels better, my knee doesn't hurt anymore, I can walk up stairs without being winded, and I sleep better.
4. I can't wait to keep buying new and hip clothes. Fat clothes are so ugly.
5. No more fears about fitting in tight places.
6. Tons of energy.

Some fears:

1. Gaining it all back and then some!
2. Attracting the attention of ugly guys.
3. Being skinny and John still being fat. It's hard enough being in public with him b/c everyone stares and points but if I'm a tooth pick and he's a blob--I don't think I could handle it. It's embarrassing.
4. I guess I also fear giving up...it's freakin' hard sometimes and would just be so much easier to shove a burger down my throat.

Elegance: Here's what I'm doing about the clothes situation--because stylish clothes are super expensive--I take $40 out of every paycheck and hide it away so that when Spring comes and its time for me to buy a new wardrobe I'll have almost $500 saved up! I'm also asking for gift cards to Dress Barn and stuff for birthday/Christmas.
 
miss_apple_tart said:
Another thing for me, and I will be really happy if someone else can relate to this because I feel like I am totally insane and crazy for feeling this way...but I feel that if I lose weight then I am giving into the pressures of society. I feel like I will be a hypocrite because I have been going around preaching that you can still be big and beautiful if you are fat.
Click to expand...

Ooh, think about this. With an ever increasing number of obese people, you are actively working to go against the trend!
 
Elegance: Here's what I'm doing about the clothes situation--because stylish clothes are super expensive--I take $40 out of every paycheck and hide it away so that when Spring comes and its time for me to buy a new wardrobe I'll have almost $500 saved up! I'm also asking for gift cards to Dress Barn and stuff for birthday/Christmas.
Click to expand...

Oooh, Kaitie, I love this idea! I'm going to start. I've also asked my mom and grandma , if they can't think of something to give me for Christmas, to get me money or gift card so I can get new jeans. :)
 
newbride02 said:
wow, I really needed to read that Mal. I've been having an awful time and I keep asking myself why??? That article really gives me alot to think about!! Thanks :D
Click to expand...

same for me. instantly in the sentence exercise the first thing i wrote was.....fat is easy. woah....i've got a lot of brain work to do. thanks so much for sharing this information!
 
Inexpensive clothes while losing weight

Hi,

A few posts ago, others were concerned about purchasing clothes with weight loss.

In the Los Angeles area, there is a store "Susie's Deals" which sells $ 5.00 clothing. Everything is $ 5.00. They have some clothes that are junky, but they also have a lot of over-stock items. For example, last week I bought a nice Liz Clairborne turtle neck for 5.00. You have to sort through, but a lot of $ can be saved.

I bought a lot of my "fat" clothes there, thinking I would need them for a short time. It ended up that I needed them long term since I have been heavy for so long.

One thing I have learned is that men's pants fit better on me, I am an apple shape. The other thing I have learned is it is better to have 3 pairs of pants that fit well than 40 that don't look good.

Good luck on your weight loss!
 
WOW...that really brings up some things that you never even knew existed, doesn't it? Here are my top three:

I’ve never not been “dieting”; is it possible to be content without it?

I don’t want to give up certain comforts/foods/comfort foods.

I enjoy pity parties—thrown by myself or others, so long as they are in my honor…and it disgusts me that I love it.

Ouch...I really am ashamed and have a lot of work to do; it's funny, isn't it, that losing weight is so much deeper than calories and scales?
 
Whoa! I could not even finish reading the article! I knew that about myself. I really wanted to stay chubby because it feels like a protective barrier from men. I get so nervous around men in general, and it helps me to know that they probably don't find me attractive.

Conversely, now that I am putting myself out there again to do this for good, I have found myself craving the changes a smaller me would bring. I really want more of a social life. I want to finish college, get a job, and move! I have plans to do all this anyway, and I thought it would be great to burst upon the world, diploma in one hand and a water bottle in the other. Just to be fit and trim and self-confident and me!

Anyone have any ideas how to cope with a general fear of men?

SoSel
 
I love this article. Thanks for posting it. I have an appointment with a therapist in the next few weeks, first time I've ever been. I'm hoping to get some help dealing with exactly this. I agree with the writer. I also agree that self help books might not be that big of a help. Some might be good... maybe my therapist will recommend some if so I'll post.

Oh BTW I'm new, glad to be here :).
 
I've talked about this for a long time, and the fact is: I don't want to lose too much weight. I'd love to be a skinny guy with that "strung out rock star" physique... for some reasons. But the fact is, I don't think I would want to lose a lot of what I have that is directly due to my size. One of the things I am afraid of: Being an average, normal guy.
Weird, innit?
 
But you can go to target and get a cute outfit on sale for under 20 bucks - when you are a smaller size. And people will be looking at your hot body not your clothes. :-D

That was a good article. I guess I know what makes/keeps me fat. I haven't a clue how to deal with it, so the self-help book might be a good solution just to get a grasp on how or what or why.
 
I have been overweight almost all my life, and 4 years ago i started exercising and restricting calories. I lost weight very rapidly, 50kg (110lbs) in one year. When i got to my lowest weight, i also hit my lowest point emotionally. I don't know if this will make sense but i felt more vulnerable, more exposed, like i didn't know how to interact with people anymore since everyone was giving me very different attention as a thin woman, especially men. I ended up becoming very depressed and socially isolated, as opposed to being more outgoing and confident as overweight. Perhaps when i lost the weight i no longer had the safety of a layer of fat to hide behind, that if i got rejected from a job application or a guy, then i can't blame it on me being fat.
Anyways, since then i have put on half of what i lost, and this time around i am finding it extremely difficult to lose any weight or keep my eating under control. So maybe it is my Unconscious Mind associating being thin with being depressed and not knowing how to function in the world.
Thing is, even though i have regained much of that "safety fat", my mentality hasn't changed from when i was thin and i still feel frightened of the world. I don't know... i think i am well beyond being cured from a self-help book :p
 
fear of thin

This exercise had a profound impact on me today. It was like a breath of fresh air. My mindset changed and it was SO refreshing. I could see that there is more to enjoy in life than just food. Is it really, truly easier to be a food junkie? Thank you. Do you know where I can find more "exercises" like that one? Sincerely, Kelly
 
Be careful what you focus on...

Spending too much time focusing on the fear can increase it, remember...
What you focus on will progress and what you neglect will regress!

Notice your fears and very quickly change what you are saying to yourself for example,
1. I am afraid I will fail and look stupid.

The focus here is on failing and looking stupid, when you hear yourself saying this quickly change it in your mind and voice to I am confident and successful in everything I do (choose the right words for yourself). Say this over and over again until this thought becomes a part of you rather than the fear thought.

Or if you are truly sick of these thoughts running your life and want to move on quickly go and have a session with a Theta Healing Practitioner. In one session you can change a large number of these negative programs which runs around in our heads.

I encourage all of you to realise your greatness and move quickly to your weight loss goals.

Go for it
Helen :)
 
I commented on this thread earlier, but apparently an itchy trigger finger issued an infraction to me in regards to my joking around about this article. Apparently it was, or maybe just possibly theoretically could have been, taken as a personal insult directed to somebody specific. Who knows who, and I'm not sure why. I really have no idea, because I was just joking around. If somebody read my previous comments and was in fact truly insulted, I sincerely apologize, that wasn't my intention at all, I just joke around alot, and if somebody is expecting me to be insulting to begin with, well I guess I could be taken as such.
 
Corndoggy, I don't think it was taken as a personal attack on one particular person. I, for one, appreciate your apology. Reading through the posts, and seeing people open up about the emotional side of their respective weight gains, makes me wonder about my own. For me, personally, to hear (read) your comment, simply brought out the thought "you're fat, so just stop eating so much" that I've heard from others and told myself so often. The whole idea of this article and exercise is to see what kinds of things are holding us back from being the confident, wonderful people we were meant to be. Perhaps you were just joking, but some people have heard comments like that their whole lives, and it may have brought up some negative associations.


This was my point of view of it only. :)
 
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