Sparked
New member
Well, I'm pretty new here so first a quick hello 
I have been following an exercise and diet program pretty diligently over the last few months and have been really pleased with the results - but today I ran into a little bit of a setback. I've been running a ton, a little bit too much maybe because I ended up getting shin splints (I think I'm pretty tough, but holy crap do they hurt!), I was extremely frustrated but cut my exercise down to just some cardio yoga to let my legs rest, well a week later the pain had only gotten worse, so today I went to the doctor, turns out I have a stress fracture in my right leg. He put me on crutches and told me no activity for 8 weeks. I'm pretty devastated, I was actually becoming a little addicted to the exercise!
So as I'm sitting here on a Friday night, leg iced and up in the air with last week's episode of Dexter, I thought... what the heck, I'll give writing a diet diary a shot!
Sooo maybe a little bit about me and my journey... wait, journey doesn't really do it justice... let's call it an odyssey - yeah, much better, sounds exciting!
Ok, here we go: I have been overweight - to some varying degree - pretty much my entire life, I can't remember a time where my weight hasn't been an issue. I went through middle school and high school about 40lbs overweight, and although I was always self conscious about it, and haphazardly attacking (and failing) every fad diet in existence, I never felt like it held me back too much, I was very social and involved in school. I started college and miraculously managed to not gain any weight - until I met my boyfriend, the one with the lightning speed metabolism, the one who can eat whatever the hell he wants and for some reason I thought I could do this too. A year into our relationship I had gained over 40 lbs and I hit 254 lbs on the scale. My body ached with unhealthiness. I started Jenny Craig and lost the 40 I had gained, but stopped there, for some reason my high school weight was some kind of mental wall I could not break through. I maintained for a while, but went through some hard times over the next year or so and managed to let my weight get up to 288 without barely noticing - the day I stood on the scale and saw that I was nearly 300lbs felt like some crazy out of body experience - I felt shocked and in disbelief, worst of all, I felt utterly defeated. I had a very honest conversation with myself about everything I had missed out on the last couple of years that I had been eating everything in sight, and decided I had wasted enough time.
That was 4 and a half months ago and I haven't look back since. I've lost 54 lbs (some pictures here) and am trying to squeeze every ounce of progress that I can out of every day. This is why I am finding my injury so frustrating, I have been so committed to working out, I have been feeling my body changing and getting stronger and loving it, and now I have to take a break. But, that's all it is, a break - I can't let this defeat me, after I got home from the doctor I really wanted a cookie .... like, damn, I really wanted a cookie! And at first I thought, why not, it's not like I can work out anyway.... but, that's not the direction I want to go, so I forced myself to think of reasons why this is positive, here's what I've come up with:
1. Crutches are not made for fat people. Seriously. The sheer energy it takes for me to swing my entire body forward a few feet using nothing but my arms and some titanium sticks is one hell of a cardio exercise! Not to mention strength, 8 weeks of this and I'm going to have to charge admission... to, you know, the gun show hehe
2. I bet they'll let me drive that motorized cart at the grocery store now. Enough said. (they see me rolling, they hatin')
3. The fact that it'll take me 10 minutes to swing my way over to the kitchen will cut down on needless snacking - no sense in risking life and limb over a handful of pretzels.
Ok, so I maxed out on three, but I bet I can think of more! I think this is the best time for me to be starting this diary, I'm going to need extra motivation now that the weight will be dropping slower.
I've been checking out a few of the diaries and really enjoying them, I hope you'll check mine out too, if you do, stop and say hello!
Oh, and I am so not a quote person, but this one inspired my screen name and I think it could be particularly useful, so I'll leave you with this : “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours.†- Ayn Rand
Enjoy your day
I have been following an exercise and diet program pretty diligently over the last few months and have been really pleased with the results - but today I ran into a little bit of a setback. I've been running a ton, a little bit too much maybe because I ended up getting shin splints (I think I'm pretty tough, but holy crap do they hurt!), I was extremely frustrated but cut my exercise down to just some cardio yoga to let my legs rest, well a week later the pain had only gotten worse, so today I went to the doctor, turns out I have a stress fracture in my right leg. He put me on crutches and told me no activity for 8 weeks. I'm pretty devastated, I was actually becoming a little addicted to the exercise!So as I'm sitting here on a Friday night, leg iced and up in the air with last week's episode of Dexter, I thought... what the heck, I'll give writing a diet diary a shot!
Sooo maybe a little bit about me and my journey... wait, journey doesn't really do it justice... let's call it an odyssey - yeah, much better, sounds exciting!
Ok, here we go: I have been overweight - to some varying degree - pretty much my entire life, I can't remember a time where my weight hasn't been an issue. I went through middle school and high school about 40lbs overweight, and although I was always self conscious about it, and haphazardly attacking (and failing) every fad diet in existence, I never felt like it held me back too much, I was very social and involved in school. I started college and miraculously managed to not gain any weight - until I met my boyfriend, the one with the lightning speed metabolism, the one who can eat whatever the hell he wants and for some reason I thought I could do this too. A year into our relationship I had gained over 40 lbs and I hit 254 lbs on the scale. My body ached with unhealthiness. I started Jenny Craig and lost the 40 I had gained, but stopped there, for some reason my high school weight was some kind of mental wall I could not break through. I maintained for a while, but went through some hard times over the next year or so and managed to let my weight get up to 288 without barely noticing - the day I stood on the scale and saw that I was nearly 300lbs felt like some crazy out of body experience - I felt shocked and in disbelief, worst of all, I felt utterly defeated. I had a very honest conversation with myself about everything I had missed out on the last couple of years that I had been eating everything in sight, and decided I had wasted enough time.
That was 4 and a half months ago and I haven't look back since. I've lost 54 lbs (some pictures here) and am trying to squeeze every ounce of progress that I can out of every day. This is why I am finding my injury so frustrating, I have been so committed to working out, I have been feeling my body changing and getting stronger and loving it, and now I have to take a break. But, that's all it is, a break - I can't let this defeat me, after I got home from the doctor I really wanted a cookie .... like, damn, I really wanted a cookie! And at first I thought, why not, it's not like I can work out anyway.... but, that's not the direction I want to go, so I forced myself to think of reasons why this is positive, here's what I've come up with:
1. Crutches are not made for fat people. Seriously. The sheer energy it takes for me to swing my entire body forward a few feet using nothing but my arms and some titanium sticks is one hell of a cardio exercise! Not to mention strength, 8 weeks of this and I'm going to have to charge admission... to, you know, the gun show
hehe2. I bet they'll let me drive that motorized cart at the grocery store now. Enough said. (they see me rolling, they hatin')
3. The fact that it'll take me 10 minutes to swing my way over to the kitchen will cut down on needless snacking - no sense in risking life and limb over a handful of pretzels.
Ok, so I maxed out on three, but I bet I can think of more! I think this is the best time for me to be starting this diary, I'm going to need extra motivation now that the weight will be dropping slower.
I've been checking out a few of the diaries and really enjoying them, I hope you'll check mine out too, if you do, stop and say hello!
Oh, and I am so not a quote person, but this one inspired my screen name and I think it could be particularly useful, so I'll leave you with this : “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours.†- Ayn Rand
Enjoy your day
Unfortunately, a lot of specialty clothing I had bought to keep myself inspired are now too big for me 
