Emily Rose: The Reboot

I really need one more different outlet for winter exercise and listening to you and rob it's making me think . I always avoid swimming locally as felt embarrassed .but maybe I try again . Gym is another option . It's so expensive though . I might phone where I used to go and my friend I walk it is a member so maybe I ask her . You really are inspiring me Em .
Hope your mum gets sorted . Tell her use the insurance it's what is there for .
 
It's fabulous that you have a pool to swim in now! Sounds like your membership includes some sort of gym too? That's nice if you just want to switch things up. The late night spot sounds perfect too. Happy for ya!
 
- Yeah, I am looking forward to it LaMa, I think it will be a big help to me for the winter.
- You know what Petal? I noticed today that I was one of the only women in the pool, and I think that's quite common. Women have been made to feel so ashamed of their bodies, and it's really something sad. Honestly, no one cares, just go if you like swimming. Glad I'm helping in some small way, haha.
- Yeah, I'm actually a member of 3 gyms right now, and have credits for one more Jenn. Lol. Plus a tennis club. Oh God. But I would rather spend it on things like that than the bad stuff. And the new one with the pool isn't doing classes right now, my normal one is, and the third I only have a 3 month membership with but I must ring them to keep it on hold, because they have not opened their pool yet. So the 3 memberships are needed at this juncture, haha. And the one with the credits doesn't expire, so I will save them for when things are freed up a bit more.

Had a good day today. Swim this morning, today's cubicle number is 6 again, this must be the message I need for the weekend:

The number 6 is the embodiment of the heart. It represents unconditional love and the ability to support, nurture, and heal. It is a powerful force of compassion and empathy and its warm light is a beacon of hope.

Hope and healing, perfect.

Went home for dinner, we read the papers and talked about the corrupt politicians, then my mum started telling me about a lawyer in Russia who is outspoken against Putin. He was blinded in one eye by acid, then he had some tea before a flight recently, was violently ill on the flight and ended up in a critical condition, and they suspect he was poisoned. So it kind of puts our politicians into perspective. I mean, they're twits, but they're not out there poisoning people and we can pretty much say what we want about them without any fear. So, I guess it could always be worse.

That's all really, had my regular tennis doubles game this evening, I played well cos I had a great sleep last night. Just a few hopefully not too bad days in work this week and then... freedom. Have 4 tennis games and a tennis lesson lined up for 'Wellness Week', as I calling my holiday, will do lots of yoga too, and try to eat well! Looking forward to it.
 
I like the sound of wellness week, Em. Hope this week flies. It's great that you are bookending your workdays with healthy & fun exercise.
 
Being an outspoken politician in Russia (or even outside it as long as you're Russian and anti-Putin) really is something else. Horrifying.
 
The political sagas are just getting worse and worse Em . Wow so many gym memberships. I might try join one for the winter eves
 
- Thanks Cate.
- Yeah, glad I live here LaMa.
- Yeah, too many really Petal, but it's just temporary.

Today's cubicle number was 9.

The energy of the number 9 represents completion, but not finality. Think of it more in a cyclical sense; it's about the ending of one cycle and the potential it creates for another cycle to begin. The 9 in Numerology acts as an usher in this process of transition or transformation, guiding and empowering us with its wisdom.

I like the sound of that.

Today's adventure:
Took a wrong turn on my way home from the cinema, ended up on the darkest, windiest road of all time with the rain lashing down. Visibility was so bad. It was kind of scary. Then I reached a fork in the road where both options looked as bad as each other, so I ended up turning around and finding another way out. A metaphor for the way my life is going perhaps.

Had a mixed bag of a day. Feeling a bit low this evening, but I'll be okay. I think my mood is matching the weather, although I'm in bed now listening to the rain outside and there is something quite beautiful about it. I think today I realised that some dreams I have will only ever be that. That makes me really sad. :(
 
Never give up hope but keep an eye out for alternatives. Sometimes what ends up happening is much better than what you had dreamed of .grouphug:
 
It’s nice to have a dream to aim for and sometimes reaching for the stars and reaching the tree tops is good too . Aim high
 
- Aw, thanks Cate.
- Thanks LaMa. You may be right. :)
- I like that - still a nice view from the treetops Petal!

Today's cubicle number was 5 (which is my lucky number).

A key characteristic of the number 5 is curiosity and the need for a variety of exciting experiences in order to feel fulfilled. It craves freedom and adventure and isn't afraid to let the wind carry it where it may. For the 5, life isn't about setting goals and making plans, it's about getting out there and experimenting.

I actually never knew what the number represented before - it matches exactly what I was saying here the other day about needing adventure. Interesting! No wonder I am not exactly thriving during Covid, when everything is about planning and routine.

I actually had a drama meetup tonight via Zoom, it cheered me up no end. We might have to do things a little differently this year, but it's kind of fun being a part of that and thinking outside the box. One of the women had loads of great ideas actually.

I really enjoyed my swim tonight. I was tempted to cancel and just wallow and drink wine, but of course the whole point of the late-night swim is to avoid doing that. I made the better choice and I am happier for it now. You actually get the same result from both, but you have to pay the piper the next day for the wine indulgence.

I've a lot more I could say, but I will keep it light for today, haha. Oh, speaking of light, I weighed in today at 187.9, the lightest I've been since the 14th of June. So I'm finally starting to move in the right direction. Finally! :) It does feel good to see the scales moving down again. It does make me feel happier, I have to say.

Right, that's it for now.
 
Hey Emily, sounds like you did make a good choice, swimming over wine! And I am happy to see that you are happy with the scales, good for you. Keep up the good work.
 
Emilyrose said:
I was tempted to cancel and just wallow and drink wine, but of course the whole point of the late-night swim is to avoid doing that. I made the better choice and I am happier for it now. You actually get the same result from both, but you have to pay the piper the next day for the wine indulgence.
Click to expand...
Very well put. And yay for the scale behaving itself!
 
- Thanks Rob.
- Yes, what a nice thing to see today LaMa.

I'm very tired this evening, so I'll keep it short. I went to yoga earlier, it was quite a demanding class, and I just didn't have the energy to make it to the pool tonight. I'll have a lot more time next week for that anyway.

One of the girls in work invited me out for a celebratory dinner with her and another colleague as one got made permanent and the other got a promotion. I thought that was lovely. I got a payrise, so there's something for me to celebrate as well, haha. I was pretty pleased with that. Friends.

Food wasn't great today - that is going to be a real focal point during my holiday. I'll have a lot more time. I just need to get through tomorrow and a life of calmness and serenity can begin. :D
 
Hey yoga sounds like good exercise, even if you missed your swim. Glad to hear you are going out with friends, that should be fun.

Let the "calmness and serenity" begin! But mix a little fun and adventure in, knowing Emily I am sure she will.
 
I'm glad you're having a week off work, Em. It's nice that you were invited to celebratory drinks.
 
Are you having a staycation Em , and is it one week or 2? Well done on payrise. Good to see some employers looking after the staff .
 
- Yeah, I have a date tomorrow Rob, so a little bit of fun ahead, haha.
- I was chuffed Cate.
- Yes, I do complain about them a lot Petal, but they have been really good when it comes to our pay over this whole crisis. Which is great and why I put up with a lot of the nonsense at times.
- We haven't gone out yet LaMa - end of September when we get our money. :) I currently do a vinyasa flow class, which is actually harder than I'd like, but I love the teacher, and the other class he does is a bit too slow for me. So I figure I'm better to do the faster class. I'm just about coping. Although, my hip was moving out of place yesterday, which is very alarming. And I have had another gym instructor mention to me that I should get my hip looked at because I was in obvious pain in a pilates class once. I don't know where the issue is coming from really. Is the yoga helping or hindering it? Really not sure. It's not sore and it doesn't feel like it's in the wrong spot today, but it's something I have to watch out for.

I'm not sure how I feel today. Work was hard, I was there till nearly 8pm. Really fucking annoyed about something that happened, really annoyed that I reacted to it (i.e. blew up), really glad that I have a break. I guess I just need to take this time to get myself into a better headspace and maybe also think about what my next move is. Because if I am committed to my job now, I have to find a way to make it work better for me. It's not working for me right now. I really need to be working 2 hours extra a day to get on top of things, and that's just not fair. All my extracurriculars are having an impact, but I don't think it's right to have to curtail them because of a job. Agh, I don't know. I think the late-night swim option and the fact I'll be playing less tennis in the winter will make it easier to manage having my daily exercise and also getting my work done. I am drinking too much though, that is also a problem. I need to be on top of my game, and I'm just not when I'm slightly lower in brain capacity after a few gargles the night before. It's all so difficult. I think I will be out of there next year though, and if I'm being honest with myself, I want to be.

Even after my complaining above, we had such a fun day today before everything went wrong, and I really like some of the girls in there. But I just think if I don't find a balance soon, I'm going to lose my head, and I certainly don't want that.

I am also meeting SG tomorrow. I think a date is badly needed at this stage. I'm worried about my body and weight gain and everything, but he's really keen to meet, so I guess we'll see how it goes. It's kind of a good way to start off my holiday I think. Lol.

Okay, so holiday time. What do I really need to do?
- Clean my room and my car.
Nothing is more important to achieve than this.
- Iron the clothes I need to iron to have them ready and hanging up in the wardrobe for September outfit options.
This is a really important thing.
- Stop smoking and wino-drinking.
1st of September is my quit date for both. (Wino-drinking is my new term for drinking wine at home.) Till then -

If I did those 3 things, that would be a great start. I'm such a teenager, for God's sake. I should at least have this much sorted. But, to be honest, I see other people ticking all the boxes, and they seem fucking miserable. So I'm just going to do my thing, as childish and pathetic as it may seem.
 
Em clean your room toMorrow morning if you are not going out then it's done for the holiday . Ironing the dreaded job. I did mine last night but I put on Netflix and it makes it easier. Interesting reading about your views on having to work extra 2 hours a day to get your job done . Is that everyday. I'm only parttime and paid parttime and I have the same problem. I decided last week I am not doing it anymore. It was making me bitter and resentful and my husband pointed out to me why should they be lining their pockets while I work for free . Think so many employers expect this now it's part of the culture . So unfair . Same though only for the people at work I've gone crazy .
Enjoy the date with SG .

Regarding other people stop comparing to them . I guarantee they look at you and think wow why can't I be more like Em. Everyone has different problems and issues . Embrace every day and enjoy it .
 
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