Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
- Thanks DA, it's nice to hear feedback like that.
- Yeah, that song did pop into my head also Petal.
- Happy May to you too Cate!
- Thanks LaMa. I hope you are enjoying your first day of freedom.
Right, so I didn't exactly kick off May as planned, but that nearly always happens when I put too much pressure on myself. Luckily, I have a 3-day weekend ahead of me, which nearly always helps to get me back on track. It's like I need that extra day or something.
Work today was very good. I am back to being a busy bee, which I am happier about, because I get a lot more done when I have 5 tasks on my to-do list as opposed to one. I'm also getting enjoyable enough work to do. We had a fun quiz game as well today with our team, which was a bit of a diversion in the afternoon. Back to being positive about my job again.
We also had the announcement about Ireland's approach to getting out of lockdown. It's a phased approach that will continue all summer in 3-week phases. The bad news is we are on full lockdown for another 2 weeks, but after that, things will start to get better and better every 3 weeks. So that's kind of cool. I really do hope that we get a good summer, I think we fucking deserve it. I have to commend our government, I really do think they've made the best out of an impossible situation. They're not making rash decisions or putting the economy over peoples' lives. I read one shocking comment from some Texan governor where he said the following: 'There are more important things than living, and that’s saving this country for my children, and my grandchildren, and saving this country for all of us. And I don’t wanna die. Nobody wants to die. But we gotta take some risks, and get back in the game, and get this country back up and running.'
That's actually the most warped attitude. I actually don't even understand what he is trying to say here. If everyone is sick or dying, there is no economy anyway! What a crazy world we live in.
But luckily, most people can see what is really important. I am happy tonight that there is a clear plan for getting out of this thing, and I am optimistic about the future.
- Yeah, that song did pop into my head also Petal.
- Happy May to you too Cate!
- Thanks LaMa. I hope you are enjoying your first day of freedom.
Right, so I didn't exactly kick off May as planned, but that nearly always happens when I put too much pressure on myself. Luckily, I have a 3-day weekend ahead of me, which nearly always helps to get me back on track. It's like I need that extra day or something.
Work today was very good. I am back to being a busy bee, which I am happier about, because I get a lot more done when I have 5 tasks on my to-do list as opposed to one. I'm also getting enjoyable enough work to do. We had a fun quiz game as well today with our team, which was a bit of a diversion in the afternoon. Back to being positive about my job again.
We also had the announcement about Ireland's approach to getting out of lockdown. It's a phased approach that will continue all summer in 3-week phases. The bad news is we are on full lockdown for another 2 weeks, but after that, things will start to get better and better every 3 weeks. So that's kind of cool. I really do hope that we get a good summer, I think we fucking deserve it. I have to commend our government, I really do think they've made the best out of an impossible situation. They're not making rash decisions or putting the economy over peoples' lives. I read one shocking comment from some Texan governor where he said the following: 'There are more important things than living, and that’s saving this country for my children, and my grandchildren, and saving this country for all of us. And I don’t wanna die. Nobody wants to die. But we gotta take some risks, and get back in the game, and get this country back up and running.'
That's actually the most warped attitude. I actually don't even understand what he is trying to say here. If everyone is sick or dying, there is no economy anyway! What a crazy world we live in.
But luckily, most people can see what is really important. I am happy tonight that there is a clear plan for getting out of this thing, and I am optimistic about the future.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Texas governors are not known for their brilliance. It sounds like you are lucky to have Leo Varadkar, both a smart man and a doctor, a good combination right now.
That is great! You should be things have to get better, I just don't know when.
Best of luck with getting back on track for May, I want to see you losing some weight!
Have a great weekend.
Nice!
And also pleasant about things being gradually eased in Ireland - I thought I read that things were starting to ease this very weekend, even, with longer walks being okayed for the general public?- Thanks Rob, I want to see it too.
- Yeah, hopefully it works Cate. My housemate is very negative about it.
- Not until Tuesday Amy - we get to go 5 km from our house then.
Right. I have set up my own plan in line with the phases for recovery that Leo outlined last night. I won't bother going through each phase with you now, but tomorrow I begin the Preliminary Phase. The only rules for this phase are:
- No smoking or drinking.
- Woodland walk every day.
This phase starts tomorrow 3rd May and ends on 17th May. Phase 1 begins 18th May.
Those may seem kind of like easy things - they are not. I haven't put in any rules regarding food - I'm going to let myself eat whatever I want while I try to get my main vices under control. As I move through the phases, I will get stricter on this and add in more exercise goals. But for now, those are the only things I have to do or not do.
I have made the decision to stop drinking alcohol completely until the pubs reopen on August 10th. I made a decision at the beginning of the year to only drink in social settings, and it was working really well for me. I am returning to that mode of being, as the home drinking cannot continue.
Anyway, that's all for now, I'll be back tomorrow to update you on my progress. I know the not smoking will be a real struggle but I am determined and I truly believe that this is the golden opportunity from the universe that I've been waiting for.
- Yeah, hopefully it works Cate. My housemate is very negative about it.
- Not until Tuesday Amy - we get to go 5 km from our house then.
Right. I have set up my own plan in line with the phases for recovery that Leo outlined last night. I won't bother going through each phase with you now, but tomorrow I begin the Preliminary Phase. The only rules for this phase are:
- No smoking or drinking.
- Woodland walk every day.
This phase starts tomorrow 3rd May and ends on 17th May. Phase 1 begins 18th May.
Those may seem kind of like easy things - they are not. I haven't put in any rules regarding food - I'm going to let myself eat whatever I want while I try to get my main vices under control. As I move through the phases, I will get stricter on this and add in more exercise goals. But for now, those are the only things I have to do or not do.
I have made the decision to stop drinking alcohol completely until the pubs reopen on August 10th. I made a decision at the beginning of the year to only drink in social settings, and it was working really well for me. I am returning to that mode of being, as the home drinking cannot continue.
Anyway, that's all for now, I'll be back tomorrow to update you on my progress. I know the not smoking will be a real struggle but I am determined and I truly believe that this is the golden opportunity from the universe that I've been waiting for.
Those ambitious goals but you are quite right that this is a golden opportunity. Best of luck!
alligatorob
Respected Member
Doesn't get any better than that! I am sure you'll make the most of it.
Sunflower_
Well-known member
Love your goals, Em. Is that the date for the pubs that Ireland have set out? Hope England does something similar...
- Thanks guys. I am failing so far, hahahahaha. Such fun we have here.
- Sunflower, that is the date. I read today that the pubs are trying to negotiate an earlier opening date, with loads of restrictions in place, which will make pubs nothing like pubs, so what is the point? I just don't know anymore. We seem to be moving into a new kind of world - probably better for my physical health, but it's change, so of course I will resist it every step of the way. I don't want to wear a mask in public! Wahh!
So, I have failed, and am scrapping all my nonsense above. I go through these 'plans' every couple of months, what a waste of energy.
I'm just going to try to do my bit every day, as much as I can. I went on my woodland walk yesterday and today. I really didn't feel like going today, but I felt kind of shitty and knew I would feel better if I went. And, guess what? I did! I also helped a lady and her daughter who were completely disoriented in the woods find their way out of there. They were so lovely, the girl was about 10, and I was sitting on my tree trunk basking in the sunshine and watching the butterflies again, and they were both kind of laughing that they were so confused, and I just thought it was the nicest thing I've seen in ages. I just had this impression that they had such a fantastic mother/daughter relationship from our brief encounter, it was amazing. I remember when I was a kid, and if we got lost, which happened a lot with my parents, there was so much tension and it was just awful. Whereas these two were laughing about the whole thing. Aw.
Right. New day tomorrow. No plan, but the idea is just to do my bit. Do something to feel good. Try to eat well and get outside in nature. Keep rumination to a minimum. None of my jeans fit me right now, so moving back into a time when they do fit me again is really important right now. And not hating myself. Let's try that.
- Sunflower, that is the date. I read today that the pubs are trying to negotiate an earlier opening date, with loads of restrictions in place, which will make pubs nothing like pubs, so what is the point? I just don't know anymore. We seem to be moving into a new kind of world - probably better for my physical health, but it's change, so of course I will resist it every step of the way. I don't want to wear a mask in public! Wahh!
So, I have failed, and am scrapping all my nonsense above. I go through these 'plans' every couple of months, what a waste of energy.
I'm just going to try to do my bit every day, as much as I can. I went on my woodland walk yesterday and today. I really didn't feel like going today, but I felt kind of shitty and knew I would feel better if I went. And, guess what? I did! I also helped a lady and her daughter who were completely disoriented in the woods find their way out of there. They were so lovely, the girl was about 10, and I was sitting on my tree trunk basking in the sunshine and watching the butterflies again, and they were both kind of laughing that they were so confused, and I just thought it was the nicest thing I've seen in ages. I just had this impression that they had such a fantastic mother/daughter relationship from our brief encounter, it was amazing. I remember when I was a kid, and if we got lost, which happened a lot with my parents, there was so much tension and it was just awful. Whereas these two were laughing about the whole thing. Aw.
Right. New day tomorrow. No plan, but the idea is just to do my bit. Do something to feel good. Try to eat well and get outside in nature. Keep rumination to a minimum. None of my jeans fit me right now, so moving back into a time when they do fit me again is really important right now. And not hating myself. Let's try that.
Cate
Long term member
Putting too much pressure on myself doesn't work well for me either. Don't you just love hearing laughter? So glad you went for that walk, Em. I am finding that pushing myself out for a walk each day is saving my sanity. I feel so much better afterwards.
I read "Normal People" yesterday & thought it was really well written & a real page-turner, but it left me feeling a bit disturbed. I think I'll stick to books with happy endings for a while. I need something light-hearted & preferably with a happy ending. Any more suggestions?
I read "Normal People" yesterday & thought it was really well written & a real page-turner, but it left me feeling a bit disturbed. I think I'll stick to books with happy endings for a while. I need something light-hearted & preferably with a happy ending. Any more suggestions?
alligatorob
Respected Member
Sounds like a good plan to me. My only real plan is to eat well today, and its worked so far for me. No reason to hate yourself, you are a good person.
When I was a kid we used to joke that if my mom suggested a half-hour walk it'd typically last 3 hours. We got lost a lot! It was sometimes annoying when we got hungry and tired but since I never doubted we'd find our way back soon it didn't cause real tension. I do remember one time when my sister was maybe a year old, in her stroller, and crying because it was past her lunchtime. Sad! Annoying! So my older sisters and I ran ahead/fanned out to look for fruit to keep her happy. Felt very useful.
I love your story of the time in the woods with the butterflies, and then the laughing lost mother and daughter - very sunshiny story (and you helped them! 
everything about that story's upbeat!)
)
everything about that story's upbeat!)I like your new plan, especially the not hating yourself. (Why would you hate someone as terrific as you are?
)- Hi Cate. I am actually really struggling to come up with good book suggestions. Most of the ones I read are a bit dark. Hmm. Do you like older books? Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte is a beautiful book. I just reread Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, that's really funny and has the happiest ending imaginable. And for something newer: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley is just brilliant. It's about her wine addiction and how she overcame it, but it's so interesting and well-written and funny. If you want a massive tome of a novel, read The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton.
- Thanks Rob, I'm trying to be.
- Thanks for sharing that LaMa.
- Thanks Petal and Amy.
So, today has been a total dud when it comes to eating. I've decided not to weigh myself for a while. It will just depress me. I know if I eat properly, the weight will come off fairly quickly, so why torture myself with the scales when I know they are horribly against me right now? Stupid scales, what do they know? They can bugger off with their 'numbers' and their judgement. Lol.
I actually had a pretty good day, despite the eating and the rain and having to go back into the office to get my charger after work and being stopped by the guards again! It was funny, I got into a cheerful mood driving home from my second trip to the office, charger in bag this time, and I was singing away to myself and got so into it, I missed my turn. So then I had to drive through town, and I just knew I'd get stopped. And sure enough, there was the garda car just ahead, waiting for me, with its numbers and its judgement. Lol. The guard was actually sound and kind of cute - he laughed when I told him I had to retrieve my charger. So I didn't mind getting stopped in the end.
I came home and was playing guitar for the last half hour - the tips of my fingers are all blistered. No pain, no gain! I wish that phrase was applicable to weight loss. I started working my way through the Abba repertoire - what fantastic music. I think the following is one of the most beautiful songs ever written. When I was singing it earlier, I could really feel the emotion of it. Music is so wonderful. It's one thing stupid coronavirus can't take from us!
- Thanks Rob, I'm trying to be.
- Thanks for sharing that LaMa.
- Thanks Petal and Amy.
So, today has been a total dud when it comes to eating. I've decided not to weigh myself for a while. It will just depress me. I know if I eat properly, the weight will come off fairly quickly, so why torture myself with the scales when I know they are horribly against me right now? Stupid scales, what do they know? They can bugger off with their 'numbers' and their judgement. Lol.
I actually had a pretty good day, despite the eating and the rain and having to go back into the office to get my charger after work and being stopped by the guards again! It was funny, I got into a cheerful mood driving home from my second trip to the office, charger in bag this time, and I was singing away to myself and got so into it, I missed my turn. So then I had to drive through town, and I just knew I'd get stopped. And sure enough, there was the garda car just ahead, waiting for me, with its numbers and its judgement. Lol. The guard was actually sound and kind of cute - he laughed when I told him I had to retrieve my charger. So I didn't mind getting stopped in the end.
I came home and was playing guitar for the last half hour - the tips of my fingers are all blistered. No pain, no gain! I wish that phrase was applicable to weight loss.
I started working my way through the Abba repertoire - what fantastic music. I think the following is one of the most beautiful songs ever written. When I was singing it earlier, I could really feel the emotion of it. Music is so wonderful. It's one thing stupid coronavirus can't take from us!