Emily Rose: The Reboot

- That Shakira song is great for dancing Cate and Amy. It has also been far too long since I went out dancing. I’ve never tried belly dancing Cate but it looks like fun!

- I haven’t seen that show Petal, might check it out. She’s taken the Botox a bit far but the pressures to look young must be immense.

- That is always the dream Sunflower. :)

9.30am Woke up after sleeping for over 9 hours, still felt a bit groggy. But delighted with that. Sleep is so essential for me, I get super-stressed when I don’t have enough zzzs in the bank.

10.30am 35 minute walk to a coffee shop, finished my Commit book, had coffee and cake, 35 minute walk back. It was a lovely day here.

12.30am Took the opportunity of an empty kitchen to cook myself an early dinner. Potatoes, broccoli and salmon. The healthiest meal I’ve had in ages.

2pm Learnt my lines.

3pm Went for power nap.

4pm Left to put music together with co-director for show. Had a beer with his wife.

7pm Rehearsal. Went brilliantly.

9.30pm Snack of slice of cooked ham and half a bagel with butter and jam.

10pm In bed now ready for sleep. I want to go to the gym in the morning. Weight 181 this morning. Not happy with that but the rest of the day was a 7/10. Which is pretty good. :)
 
Emily I think Rennee does not suit the Botox really .
sounds like you had a good weekend . You be glad to get the show under way for real .
 
I am not a fan of Sundays Cate, but that's probably because I rarely do anything with them. I normally find them lonely and a bit boring if I'm honest.

Badly needed Amy! Thanks LaMa. Sorry Sunflower, that must be an annoying thing to read for you right now!

Petal, definitely. We're nearly there now. I actually feel a lot more relaxed about it and I'm enjoying it more.

Right. I think I'll continue my new style of diary, until I get bored of it, haha.

7.30am Woke up with the alarm, felt good. Had shower, made porridge and half a bagel for breakfast. Felt ill and bloated afterwards.

9am Work. Had lots to do this morning. Had the energy for it. Had some herbal tea but then caved and had a coffee. And a biscuit.

1.30pm Went home for lunch and had some cooked ham that my mum gave me at the weekend in a bagel with butter, cherry tomatoes and spinach. It was really nice but I again felt full and not great afterwards. I probably ate it too fast, and maybe bagels don't actually agree with me. I won't buy them again.

4.30pm Had a Yorkie bar.

5pm Left work feeling like shit, felt so full all day. It was weird. At lunchtime, I'd packed a gym bag, the main reason I had lunch at home. Considered not bothering going.

6pm Bothered going and went to a weights class with the really nice instructor Alan. He's been a trainer there since I joined in 2014. Wow. It's been a long time. I still really love this gym, and I have experimented with 3 other gyms since, but I've kept up my membership here, and I'm really glad of it. The class was fine - I am still fairly strong, even though a lot of my muscle has turned back to fat. But we did these one legged squats and I struggled bigtime. The legs aren't where they need to be in terms of carrying the extra bit in the middle I've acquired again. But I felt really good after it. I also booked in to have the full Tanita scale assessment on Wednesday. I'm half regretting it already, but I think a wake-up call is required. I definitely feel too heavy right now.

8pm Rehearsal in my friend's place. It was my scene, I think it went great.

10pm Home. I've been on this forum for a while now, haha.

I am tentatively hoping for a swim in the morning, but it's nearly midnight, so it's probably not going to happen. I am glad I went to the gym today though, it's a step in the right direction.
 
That sounds really positive, about the gym - good for you for pushing yourself to go! And about the rehearsal, too! Have you told us when opening night is?
 
Yay for inspiring gym instructors! Shame about the post-bagel bloating - although I will admit I´m less likely to snack when I feel bloated :p
 
Em have you tried bagel thins . I’m currently having Irish pride slimster if I want bread. Seems ok . Bagels do bloat but so so good. I haven’t had since May !
 
Thanks guys. Finished the pack of bagels this morning, so that is it. Opening night is just over two weeks away Amy.

I am very down this evening. I saw a picture of myself today that was taken at the weekend and I wasn't happy with what I saw. Maybe this will be the motivator I need to make some changes.

I also feel very let down by my friends with regards support for the play. Only two of them have shown an interest. None of the others have even congratulated me or asked me anything about it, or said they can't wait to go. I feel like I've supported them in so many endeavours in the past, and when it's my turn, they're not interested. It is very sad. I don't know what to do about it. I can't carry this resentment around for the rest of my life, but I just feel let down over and over again by them. It's really difficult.

And I have other people in my life, but I guess they don't know me half as well, and I'm worried that the people that do know me well don't like me very much anymore. :( It's a tricky one.

Also was treated like crap by a colleague today, it's up and down all the time, I don't know what to do. It's difficult to get on with my work when I need help and I practically had to beg to have a meeting this week to go through some stuff. It's very annoying.

So overall, woe is me.

On the plus side, I got my test results back from the STD test in a very strange, informal manner, so I don't know if that is it and I have a clean bill of health. The first text last week was, 'All looks good so far.' Today I got, 'Urine clear.' So I think that's the bloods back and the urine testing done, so this is all good news I guess. I should be happier. Your health is your wealth. All the other stuff doesn't matter a damn if that's not right. So I guess that's the thing to focus on.
 
Hi, Em. I wish I didn't care what others think of me, but I do. I wish I wasn't as sensitive to comments & slights, but I am. Life seems to be very up & down for both of us at the moment. We'll get through this xoxo
 
Em I'm so sorry you feeling bad about everything. Been there with the friend situation too I'm afraid . Big hugs . I'm absolutely too shattered to write but I will tomorrow I promise. Not sure if you like Michael McIntyre but I watched this while getting ready for bed and it Made me laugh. Sarah Millicent is good too . Maybe a little pick me up for you x

 
Yes, I think the "all clear" means all test results are in - so, great! :)

In terms of the friends and support - it's a hard call. If they're important to you, it might be worth being upfront, and saying "Hey, I'd love it if you were more excited about the play I'm doing - it's as big a deal for me as that [fill in as appropriate] was for you." And then see if they pick up their cue (so to speak). Not actually asking for their support, but clearly flagging what you'd like from a friend. If they don't respond, well, they don't, and then rethink from there, but you will have been clear about how much it means to you. (They may be feeling they don't need to show excitement until opening night - whereas of course the whole process is extremely involving and on-edge, not just the final result. If they've never been involved in theatre, that may not occur to them.)
Best wishes for that, though - friends are hugely important.
 
I agree that's a weird way to give someone official test results! About the play enthusiasm: that sucks, but sadly I think it's pretty common. Amy's advice sounds good to me.
 
Right I'm abit more awake now than last night. Regarding friends have you actually invited them to opening night Em ? Also I find people are so wrapped up in their own lives now and everyone is so busy they just don.t think. I too people don't like to spend time with me as I'm often the first one to call or text and I am pretty sure if I didn't I would never see them . But I think it's just the way life is now. I do think friendship groups can whittle down as you get older though.

Well work is work up days down days hope today is better.

Good news on the test results .

You have a lot going on right now, try focus on the positives. The play, your job, your gym trips . I bet your play will be fab.
 
Hey Robot, I am sorry to hear that you are down, that's no fun.

If it helps my image of you is a beautiful young woman, and I don't think I can be far wrong. We are never good judges of what we ourselves look like in a picture, ask someone else. I am sure you look better than you think.

And if I find myself in your neighborhood I'd get to the play, it sounds like great fun! Petal is right, you should be sure your friends get invited, it will remind them and then they will know you want them there.

Being treated like crap by a colleague says more about that person than it does about you. You can let it go.

I hope today is a better day for you, it should be.
 
Thank you Cate and LaMa.

Thanks for the video Petal, it really did make me laugh. I watched a couple of episodes of Friends after that so I cheered up a bit. Thanks for coming back and the kind message.

Thanks Amy, that is good advice. I will try again next weekend.

Hey Robot, I am sorry to hear that you are down, that's no fun.
That did make me laugh Rob. Thank you for your very kind message. I wish you could come see the play too!

Lol Sunflower. My shining achievement for the week.

Right. Today was better. I went into work for 10 because I felt like a little extra sleep might do me good. Of course I didn't sleep at all and just lay there for the extra hour, but I think it made a difference all the same.

We had a team meeting when I got in, my colleague and I from yesterday had an argument with our eyes, that seemed to clear the air for some reason, and then we spent a very pleasant lunch together, and it was like old times. We've had so many ups and downs at this point, I don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next. Still, I love talking to him when we are getting on.

Other than that, system went kaput again, so I have a nightmare morning ahead in terms of deadline pressure.

Foodwise, one of the girls brought in doughnuts. Disaster. I had half a caramel one, half a custard one. I did have scrambled eggs with spinach for breakfast and some salmon with baby potatoes, broccoli and a small salad for lunch, so at least I got some good food in there as well.

No exercise today, I am very tired, going to sleep shortly and the plan is to either go for a swim or go to the gym in the morning. Maybe a swim might be better, I don't know. I can get up a little bit later if I do it that way.

Feel a lot better tonight. Thanks for all the nice comments guys, it really helps.
 
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