Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
- Thanks Liza. The swim was great and I went again last night. Also great.
- Yeah, my life is always full of ups and downs, Cate. It's either all amazing or all terrible. Hahaha. Not really, but that's sometimes how I react to things. I'm trying not to be so dramatic. And yes, the academy will be back in full swing in a couple of weeks. I'm just signing up for a tennis tournament in a few minutes and I have tennis at 8, so it's still going on, just on a little bit of hiatus for winter.
I'm actually playing with somebody new in the tournament this year, which is always interesting. I'm friendly with her sister, and she seems nice, so let's see how we get on. New friends! Hahaha.
Had two really good night's sleep the last few days, my brain is back to full capacity, and I've been in full on 'go mode' all day. Have a load of admin jobs to do at the moment and I powered through them all this morning and did a few more after work. I'm now sitting in bed waiting to enter a tournament and then I'll have a smoke and go to tennis.
Smoking is still a major issue, but it's kind of impossible to contemplate quitting at the moment. I just don't think I have the capacity to cope with that right now. But, with tennis season coming back, I hope that I will be able to get back into a brilliant fitness regime and I can finally stop. It must be soon, it really must. But for now, it's on the back burner.
Not much else to talk about really. I chatted to Mum earlier, she seems in good enough form. Actually, she had an appointment this week with her cardiologist and her heart is perfect again and he doesn't want to see her anymore. Amazing news! That is one issue that can finally be put to bed. Still more to go but that must surely have given her a lift, as the heart thing is what caused her mental health to go down the toilet in the first place. Plus Covid.
Anyway, that's it for now. Two more days of work and then just one day next week and I have a bit of a break. Can't wait.
- Yeah, my life is always full of ups and downs, Cate. It's either all amazing or all terrible. Hahaha. Not really, but that's sometimes how I react to things. I'm trying not to be so dramatic. And yes, the academy will be back in full swing in a couple of weeks. I'm just signing up for a tennis tournament in a few minutes and I have tennis at 8, so it's still going on, just on a little bit of hiatus for winter.
I'm actually playing with somebody new in the tournament this year, which is always interesting. I'm friendly with her sister, and she seems nice, so let's see how we get on. New friends! Hahaha.
Had two really good night's sleep the last few days, my brain is back to full capacity, and I've been in full on 'go mode' all day. Have a load of admin jobs to do at the moment and I powered through them all this morning and did a few more after work. I'm now sitting in bed waiting to enter a tournament and then I'll have a smoke and go to tennis.
Smoking is still a major issue, but it's kind of impossible to contemplate quitting at the moment. I just don't think I have the capacity to cope with that right now. But, with tennis season coming back, I hope that I will be able to get back into a brilliant fitness regime and I can finally stop. It must be soon, it really must. But for now, it's on the back burner.
Not much else to talk about really. I chatted to Mum earlier, she seems in good enough form. Actually, she had an appointment this week with her cardiologist and her heart is perfect again and he doesn't want to see her anymore. Amazing news! That is one issue that can finally be put to bed. Still more to go but that must surely have given her a lift, as the heart thing is what caused her mental health to go down the toilet in the first place. Plus Covid.
Anyway, that's it for now. Two more days of work and then just one day next week and I have a bit of a break. Can't wait.
Cate
Long term member
I'm glad the tennis academy has just been having a temporary snooze & will soon be in full swing (pun intended). Doesn't good sleep make such a difference in how well we function?
I really, really hope that you can kick the smokes.
It's so good to hear that your Mum is doing so much better, Em. That's really good news.
Another break from work? Lovely!
I really, really hope that you can kick the smokes.
It's so good to hear that your Mum is doing so much better, Em. That's really good news.
Another break from work? Lovely!
Yes wonderful about your mom's health! I can imagine what a load off for everybody that would be...
Nice to be getting all that swimming in.
Nice to be getting all that swimming in.
New friends? always nice!
- Yeah, it's great, Cate. I love having time off.
- Always love making new friends, Liza!
- Yeah, I'm going to do it this year, I really am, Lingwo. Thank you.
My looks are really taking a beating the last few days. I tried on clothes last night - mistake! I looked awful in the changing room mirror. Just awful. It made me feel terrible about myself.
Then today, a woman I am friends with commented in front of everyone about 'how beautiful I looked at my birthday a few years ago when I was wearing make-up.' I was completely fresh-faced today. I know she thought she was making a nice comment but of course, the way my brain works, I took it as a complete insult. Oh dear. I'm like, 'Just stop fucking commenting on me! Just stop!' I know I am not exactly glowing with health right now but I don't think I am a complete gremlin either. I just think commenting about how good I looked in the past, like that remark the other night, and commenting how I only look beautiful with make-up are such shitty fucking comments.
Yes, it is a sore subject, especially because I feel I have so many other attributes, but I guess it always comes back to looks. I'm guilty of it myself, don't get me wrong. But, in general, unless I have something nice to say, I try to keep those thoughts to myself.
I'm also a bit sad about another situation in my life that seems to be veering into disaster territory. I'll bounce back, I always do, but my life seems to follow a certain pattern, and it just always ends in tears. And I don't want it to end like that again. I'm sick of this pattern and I want a different outcome this time. I don't know what to do to ensure that happens. I guess I just want things to work out for me, and it seems like they never quite work out the way I want them to. I don't want to settle in life. And I am, in so many ways. But I can't seem to get myself out of the same cycle. Ugh. Anyway. Let's hope for a new dawn tomorrow.
- Always love making new friends, Liza!
- Yeah, I'm going to do it this year, I really am, Lingwo. Thank you.
My looks are really taking a beating the last few days. I tried on clothes last night - mistake! I looked awful in the changing room mirror. Just awful. It made me feel terrible about myself.
Then today, a woman I am friends with commented in front of everyone about 'how beautiful I looked at my birthday a few years ago when I was wearing make-up.' I was completely fresh-faced today. I know she thought she was making a nice comment but of course, the way my brain works, I took it as a complete insult. Oh dear. I'm like, 'Just stop fucking commenting on me! Just stop!' I know I am not exactly glowing with health right now but I don't think I am a complete gremlin either. I just think commenting about how good I looked in the past, like that remark the other night, and commenting how I only look beautiful with make-up are such shitty fucking comments.
Yes, it is a sore subject, especially because I feel I have so many other attributes, but I guess it always comes back to looks. I'm guilty of it myself, don't get me wrong. But, in general, unless I have something nice to say, I try to keep those thoughts to myself.
I'm also a bit sad about another situation in my life that seems to be veering into disaster territory. I'll bounce back, I always do, but my life seems to follow a certain pattern, and it just always ends in tears. And I don't want it to end like that again. I'm sick of this pattern and I want a different outcome this time. I don't know what to do to ensure that happens. I guess I just want things to work out for me, and it seems like they never quite work out the way I want them to. I don't want to settle in life. And I am, in so many ways. But I can't seem to get myself out of the same cycle. Ugh. Anyway. Let's hope for a new dawn tomorrow.
Thank you Cate. xx How kind of you to think of that while you're away.
Today went well. I woke up before the alarm so I had time to go for a run before starting work. I just did an interval run, which was mostly walking and a little bit of running, but it was good. It really set me up well for the day. Work went fine, had a few really positive interactions, which is always nice.
I was going to go for a swim this evening, but after work was over, I reheated some cabbage and kale soup I'd made, and then I think with all the rush of nutrients, my body just couldn't handle it at all and I had to go for a nap! Haha. Vitamins, it cried! Now let's go repair! I genuinely feel that's what happened. I feel like I've looked tired for two months now and tonight my skin is just glowing. It's great.
Anyway, I'd got a nice message from someone when I woke up and then I rang my mother, who had forced herself out the door to go to water aerobics, which is always good to hear. She's not really enthusiastic about anything these days, but she's still doing it, and that's the main thing. She hasn't given up. I feel so sorry for her sometimes. Other times I'm like, 'Just snap out of it.' Which obviously, she would if she could in a heartbeat. But anyway, she's doing her best.
Tomorrow, I am off, so I get to sleep in and I am so excited. Even with the nap, I still feel tired now in a really good way, not in the frazzled, overtired way I've been lately. Also, the house is really warm and cosy this evening, so I am just delighted with life.
This song also kind of suits my mood, which I won't get into, but anyway, it's a classic:
Today went well. I woke up before the alarm so I had time to go for a run before starting work. I just did an interval run, which was mostly walking and a little bit of running, but it was good. It really set me up well for the day. Work went fine, had a few really positive interactions, which is always nice.
I was going to go for a swim this evening, but after work was over, I reheated some cabbage and kale soup I'd made, and then I think with all the rush of nutrients, my body just couldn't handle it at all and I had to go for a nap! Haha. Vitamins, it cried! Now let's go repair! I genuinely feel that's what happened. I feel like I've looked tired for two months now and tonight my skin is just glowing. It's great.
Anyway, I'd got a nice message from someone when I woke up and then I rang my mother, who had forced herself out the door to go to water aerobics, which is always good to hear. She's not really enthusiastic about anything these days, but she's still doing it, and that's the main thing. She hasn't given up. I feel so sorry for her sometimes. Other times I'm like, 'Just snap out of it.' Which obviously, she would if she could in a heartbeat. But anyway, she's doing her best.
Tomorrow, I am off, so I get to sleep in and I am so excited. Even with the nap, I still feel tired now in a really good way, not in the frazzled, overtired way I've been lately. Also, the house is really warm and cosy this evening, so I am just delighted with life.
This song also kind of suits my mood, which I won't get into, but anyway, it's a classic:
The last few days have been a complete emotional rollercoaster. I was in bed crying this morning for an hour, that's how bad it got. But I guess that was quite cathartic for me - I don't often cry, so I guess I really needed that emotional release. My mood has picked up considerably and I'm going to bed tonight, dare I say it, happy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? At least I'm not bored?
I also think I was probably crying this morning because last night would have been a typical night for me where things didn't go my way, I was upset about something, and so I would have gone to the pub or else bought a bottle of wine. But I didn't allow myself to do that and I guess that's what led to that outpouring of emotion this morning. I'm kind of proud of myself because I felt awful but I still got on with what I needed to do today anyway. I guess I do that most days though, haha.
In fun news, I'm going to be interviewed on a local radio station tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous but it should be fine. I just have to prep a few answers and the rest I should be able to answer naturally enough. I did one before a couple of years ago, and it's a pre-record anyway, so it should be fine.
I also had a very fun evening and this one man I know made me laugh so much. He actually performed a little skit just for me, it was so funny. It's good to laugh. I love men that can be a bit silly. It's just such an important trait to have in life I think. I'm a bit silly myself.
I really need a good night's sleep tonight. I was awake at half 6 with my mind churning around like mad, so I really need to switch off quickly tonight. I think I will though, my mind has kind of calmed down again. I'm getting my hair done tomorrow as well, which should be fun. I'm really enjoying my time off. I'm also going to try to go for a run in the morning. So lots and lots to do! Which I love.
Anyway, good night. I'll leave you with this classic:
I also think I was probably crying this morning because last night would have been a typical night for me where things didn't go my way, I was upset about something, and so I would have gone to the pub or else bought a bottle of wine. But I didn't allow myself to do that and I guess that's what led to that outpouring of emotion this morning. I'm kind of proud of myself because I felt awful but I still got on with what I needed to do today anyway. I guess I do that most days though, haha.
In fun news, I'm going to be interviewed on a local radio station tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous but it should be fine. I just have to prep a few answers and the rest I should be able to answer naturally enough. I did one before a couple of years ago, and it's a pre-record anyway, so it should be fine.
I also had a very fun evening and this one man I know made me laugh so much. He actually performed a little skit just for me, it was so funny. It's good to laugh. I love men that can be a bit silly. It's just such an important trait to have in life I think. I'm a bit silly myself.
I really need a good night's sleep tonight. I was awake at half 6 with my mind churning around like mad, so I really need to switch off quickly tonight. I think I will though, my mind has kind of calmed down again. I'm getting my hair done tomorrow as well, which should be fun. I'm really enjoying my time off. I'm also going to try to go for a run in the morning. So lots and lots to do! Which I love.
Anyway, good night. I'll leave you with this classic:
I see i missed your birthday--happy belated birthday!
I'm the same way--I don't cry often but yes, often a very good release...healthy I think...
Good for you. Yes there is always a good feeling when we get through despite not feeling great.
Lovely to hear! Hope you are enjoying the time off!
Thanks Liza. I still have one more day of holidays so I'm going to get up early tomorrow and play tennis for a couple of hours.
I've had a truly mad 24 hours and it's got me into a bit of a whirlwind. I'm also really tired but I've rested for most of the day, so I should be okay again tomorrow.
I kind of did something stupid but also brave, so I have mixed feelings about it. It hasn't worked out in my favour (yet!) but I guess I kind of put myself out there and took a chance on something. I have to start doing more of that. I can't stay stuck in this loop for the rest of my life. And I won't. Things are going to start changing for me.
I've also decided to stop weighing myself every day as I think it's holding me back psychologically. I'm going to just pretend I am the perfect weight and have the perfect body that I want until it comes to fruition. When I step on the scale and see that I am in the 190s, way too high for my height and age, it just puts me in a negative headspace for the rest of the day. Although, I have lost around 7 pounds since the start of the year, so that's definitely encouraging. I just need the rest of it to melt away. Anyway, I'm going to try it. Maybe I will do a check-in weigh-in every month or so.
I got some really nice compliments yesterday as I was at a party and wore a really nice floral dress that I wore at a work function last year. A young girl came up to me and told me I looked really beautiful. So that was a lovely compliment to get and made me feel good about myself. For me, feeling good about myself means taking care of myself, and I haven't been able to do that lately for various reasons. So now that the busy period of my life for this year is over, I can start concentrating on eating well, exercising, sleeping well, and all that good stuff again.
That's it for now, it's been a very wet and miserable day here, so I'm not missing much action outside. More tomorrow.
I've had a truly mad 24 hours and it's got me into a bit of a whirlwind. I'm also really tired but I've rested for most of the day, so I should be okay again tomorrow.
I kind of did something stupid but also brave, so I have mixed feelings about it. It hasn't worked out in my favour (yet!) but I guess I kind of put myself out there and took a chance on something. I have to start doing more of that. I can't stay stuck in this loop for the rest of my life. And I won't. Things are going to start changing for me.
I've also decided to stop weighing myself every day as I think it's holding me back psychologically. I'm going to just pretend I am the perfect weight and have the perfect body that I want until it comes to fruition. When I step on the scale and see that I am in the 190s, way too high for my height and age, it just puts me in a negative headspace for the rest of the day. Although, I have lost around 7 pounds since the start of the year, so that's definitely encouraging. I just need the rest of it to melt away. Anyway, I'm going to try it. Maybe I will do a check-in weigh-in every month or so.
I got some really nice compliments yesterday as I was at a party and wore a really nice floral dress that I wore at a work function last year. A young girl came up to me and told me I looked really beautiful. So that was a lovely compliment to get and made me feel good about myself. For me, feeling good about myself means taking care of myself, and I haven't been able to do that lately for various reasons. So now that the busy period of my life for this year is over, I can start concentrating on eating well, exercising, sleeping well, and all that good stuff again.
That's it for now, it's been a very wet and miserable day here, so I'm not missing much action outside. More tomorrow.
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oh good for you being brave!
I understand that. Good to know what is helpful and what is not....
That sounds perfect
Cate
Long term member
I think making the choice not to weigh every day sounds like it's already working well in your favour, Em.
I love this!
- Thanks Liza. I'm actually so relieved that things are back to normal.
- Yes Cate, I am considering throwing the scales out the window.
It's difficult to really talk about what's been happening in my life here, which is a bit sad. I like being as open as I can, but I also recognise that this is the internet, and some AI robot is stealing all of my original thoughts and ideas as I type this. Even better than the real thing, some might claim. Nonsense. The beautiful thing about being human and about memory is that something can trigger it at any moment - a song, a smell, a chance meeting with an old acquaintance. Having the knowledge of every person that has ever posted something on the internet might seem like a powerful thing but it just means that there is nothing original there - these bots are copying and pasting someone else's opinions and life experience, and claiming it as their own. It's interesting how people are embracing this new technology and it's actually going to expose them as a hack if they rely on it too much. There are some great journalists in Ireland that have a really original writing style - I would much rather read their opinion than some bland piece gathered from a million idiots on the internet. Hmm. And so the world turns.
So yeah, I guess I am not a huge fan of the new tech. I don't have any social media accounts even though I work in marketing. What a contradiction in terms. I guess I hate the idea of being a brand, or branding and marketing myself. Even though I want to be an actress. How does that even work? But I guess there is a difference in being someone like Tom Cruise or someone like Olivia Colman. I actually don't know if Olivia Colman even has an Instagram page - she probably does. But Tom Cruise operates like an avatar, whereas I would see Olivia Colman as an actress who has done remarkably well without having any particular 'star power'.
I watched a few of the Oscar speeches earlier, I really liked Ke Huy Quan's speech. When he spoke about his 84-year-old mother watching at home, and his wife of 20 years constantly telling him to believe in himself, it was really beautiful. Right, I have done a lot of meandering around in my post tonight. Life is good. I was told that I was an amazing woman last night by someone I love. Not as straightforward as you might think but it made my heart beat just that little bit faster. Things are exciting again.
- Yes Cate, I am considering throwing the scales out the window.
It's difficult to really talk about what's been happening in my life here, which is a bit sad. I like being as open as I can, but I also recognise that this is the internet, and some AI robot is stealing all of my original thoughts and ideas as I type this. Even better than the real thing, some might claim. Nonsense. The beautiful thing about being human and about memory is that something can trigger it at any moment - a song, a smell, a chance meeting with an old acquaintance. Having the knowledge of every person that has ever posted something on the internet might seem like a powerful thing but it just means that there is nothing original there - these bots are copying and pasting someone else's opinions and life experience, and claiming it as their own. It's interesting how people are embracing this new technology and it's actually going to expose them as a hack if they rely on it too much. There are some great journalists in Ireland that have a really original writing style - I would much rather read their opinion than some bland piece gathered from a million idiots on the internet. Hmm. And so the world turns.
So yeah, I guess I am not a huge fan of the new tech. I don't have any social media accounts even though I work in marketing. What a contradiction in terms. I guess I hate the idea of being a brand, or branding and marketing myself. Even though I want to be an actress. How does that even work? But I guess there is a difference in being someone like Tom Cruise or someone like Olivia Colman. I actually don't know if Olivia Colman even has an Instagram page - she probably does. But Tom Cruise operates like an avatar, whereas I would see Olivia Colman as an actress who has done remarkably well without having any particular 'star power'.
I watched a few of the Oscar speeches earlier, I really liked Ke Huy Quan's speech. When he spoke about his 84-year-old mother watching at home, and his wife of 20 years constantly telling him to believe in himself, it was really beautiful. Right, I have done a lot of meandering around in my post tonight. Life is good. I was told that I was an amazing woman last night by someone I love. Not as straightforward as you might think but it made my heart beat just that little bit faster. Things are exciting again.
Cate
Long term member
Olivia Coleman is one of my favourite actresses!
You know you can private message me any time you like if you feel like sharing anything. I'm good at keeping things separate.
This sounds so good, Em.
You know you can private message me any time you like if you feel like sharing anything. I'm good at keeping things separate.
I find the AI stuff pretty yuck. I hope it will fade out quickly. There is something to be said for things coming from people's real live heart and soul!
wonderful!- Private message sent Cate. Don't be too shocked!
- Yeah, I sound like an old man yelling at a cloud Liza, but I hate the AI shit.
Ugh. It rained all day today and my mood matched it more or less. Although I had a good enough day at work to be fair. I'm getting on great with the main girl I work with and my manager, the numbers are fantastic, and everything is going really well. So, you know, things are in a very good, positive, borderline relaxed place there, which makes my life so easy, because I spend so much time there. That's been six years in the making, hahaha. But we're getting there.
I also met up with another girl from the drama group tonight, and we had a chat about a few things, which was really eye-opening. I had to do some serious damage control this evening. I think if people don't know me, they don't really understand what I'm all about and that I might say things a bit harshly at times, but it is not personal, I am really just a perfectionist when it comes to certain things and I want things done properly. And, you know, sometimes I get tired of apologising for that, because at the end of the day, I'm all about producing high-quality work, no matter what I'm doing, and I achieve that goal the majority of the time. I'm not someone who is able to sleepwalk through my life or through my job. I think that's why I like nicotine and alcohol and food so much - they kind of numb me down a bit, because it's all so INTENSE. I take it all so seriously, I feel it all so seriously. And, it's not like I don't have a sense of humour or can't laugh at myself - I absolutely can. But in the moment, when things are not going well, I just react. And that is not always taken well. I guess my friends and family who like me understand that and they forgive me most of the time. Haha.
Only one more day of work and then it's St Patrick's Day here, so we all have Friday off, which is really exciting. I don't have any big plans - tennis at 1pm and maybe some drinking afterwards, but I won't push it. If I just have a chill evening, that is okay too. I have tennis again on Saturday at 5pm, then 2 hours on Sunday, another 2 hours on Monday, an hour on Tuesday and the tournament is starting Wednesday. So the academy is starting to ramp up! I played last night, started off a bit shaky because I haven't been playing but I improved as the match went on and we won easily enough in the end. I honestly think I might win a tournament this year. That would be epic.
- Yeah, I sound like an old man yelling at a cloud Liza, but I hate the AI shit.
Ugh. It rained all day today and my mood matched it more or less. Although I had a good enough day at work to be fair. I'm getting on great with the main girl I work with and my manager, the numbers are fantastic, and everything is going really well. So, you know, things are in a very good, positive, borderline relaxed place there, which makes my life so easy, because I spend so much time there. That's been six years in the making, hahaha. But we're getting there.
I also met up with another girl from the drama group tonight, and we had a chat about a few things, which was really eye-opening. I had to do some serious damage control this evening. I think if people don't know me, they don't really understand what I'm all about and that I might say things a bit harshly at times, but it is not personal, I am really just a perfectionist when it comes to certain things and I want things done properly. And, you know, sometimes I get tired of apologising for that, because at the end of the day, I'm all about producing high-quality work, no matter what I'm doing, and I achieve that goal the majority of the time. I'm not someone who is able to sleepwalk through my life or through my job. I think that's why I like nicotine and alcohol and food so much - they kind of numb me down a bit, because it's all so INTENSE. I take it all so seriously, I feel it all so seriously. And, it's not like I don't have a sense of humour or can't laugh at myself - I absolutely can. But in the moment, when things are not going well, I just react. And that is not always taken well. I guess my friends and family who like me understand that and they forgive me most of the time. Haha.
Only one more day of work and then it's St Patrick's Day here, so we all have Friday off, which is really exciting. I don't have any big plans - tennis at 1pm and maybe some drinking afterwards, but I won't push it. If I just have a chill evening, that is okay too. I have tennis again on Saturday at 5pm, then 2 hours on Sunday, another 2 hours on Monday, an hour on Tuesday and the tournament is starting Wednesday. So the academy is starting to ramp up! I played last night, started off a bit shaky because I haven't been playing but I improved as the match went on and we won easily enough in the end. I honestly think I might win a tournament this year. That would be epic.
Thanks Cate.
I played club night for the first time in a couple of months and it was great. I won both my matches. I'm playing really well. I don't know, I think my mindset is a lot stronger or something. I'm figuring out how to get the win - finally! So I was very happy with that. Side note: there was also a very cute guy at club night tonight. New member. He was nice. Lol. I can't be stopped at this stage. I am going to have a boyfriend before the year is out, I swear!
There's a bit of consternation in the drama club at the moment, so I messaged a man last night to try to make amends and he asked for a face-to-face meeting to discuss a few issues. Uh oh. Dreading that, to be honest. But look, it's better to try to get these things sorted out. I'm a big girl, I can handle it.
I had a really good day in work - a meeting I had to present at went well, everyone seems happy. It helps that we're all off tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day. I have no real plans, except for tennis, which is fine. My body needs a bit of a rest period. I have a tournament starting next week so I will be busy again with that. And I have tennis lined up every day for the next 6 days, so I think I'll be okay.
I thought I'd be feeling more morose but I'm okay. I am drinking wine though. Red, red wine. Uh oh. I'm going to try to make this be the last night that I do this for the rest of the year, unless something catastrophic happens. I just need to stop this numbing. Things are going well on the whole, so I don't really need to keep doing this anymore. So many positives in my life, there really are. I'm a bit heartbroken over somebody, and I keep hoping he'll text me, but if he doesn't, I will survive. Gloria Gaynor knew her shit.
I played club night for the first time in a couple of months and it was great. I won both my matches. I'm playing really well. I don't know, I think my mindset is a lot stronger or something. I'm figuring out how to get the win - finally! So I was very happy with that. Side note: there was also a very cute guy at club night tonight. New member. He was nice. Lol. I can't be stopped at this stage. I am going to have a boyfriend before the year is out, I swear!
There's a bit of consternation in the drama club at the moment, so I messaged a man last night to try to make amends and he asked for a face-to-face meeting to discuss a few issues. Uh oh. Dreading that, to be honest. But look, it's better to try to get these things sorted out. I'm a big girl, I can handle it.
I had a really good day in work - a meeting I had to present at went well, everyone seems happy. It helps that we're all off tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day. I have no real plans, except for tennis, which is fine. My body needs a bit of a rest period. I have a tournament starting next week so I will be busy again with that. And I have tennis lined up every day for the next 6 days, so I think I'll be okay.
I thought I'd be feeling more morose but I'm okay. I am drinking wine though. Red, red wine. Uh oh. I'm going to try to make this be the last night that I do this for the rest of the year, unless something catastrophic happens. I just need to stop this numbing. Things are going well on the whole, so I don't really need to keep doing this anymore. So many positives in my life, there really are. I'm a bit heartbroken over somebody, and I keep hoping he'll text me, but if he doesn't, I will survive. Gloria Gaynor knew her shit.
