Emily Rose: The Reboot

LaMaria

Well-known member
:grouphug: Glad to hear you're feeling good without the wine. Hope the lesson was fun and of course I hope your mom keeps improving.
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
- Thanks Cate. :grouphug:
- Thanks LaMa. The lesson went really quick, which was a good sign.

Day 10 of no alcohol today. It's getting a bit harder, I have to say. The cravings are getting more frequent. I'm eating more to try to stave them off, which I don't want either. I seem to be able to eat and eat and eat these days and never get full. That's really alarming. But, I'm sticking with it. 30 days seems like a really long time right now but I know it's not. I need to take this break. Unfortunately, the desire to kick back with a glass of wine every evening is still super strong.

On the plus side, every day is easier when you're not exhausted from poisoning your body with alcohol, so that has to be acknowledged also.

Didn't get much done at work today, my head was all over the place. I kind of cheered up after lunch but it just means a very busy day tomorrow. I find that I somehow manage to get through it anyway. I'll get the work done, so I'm not going to panic or give myself a hard time about slacking off today. It wasn't the easiest of weekends in some ways.

I'm watching The Handmaid's Tale at the moment, the new season is a lot better. The story had begun to get stale, but now it's exciting and things are happening again. It's still a really enjoyable show, even if the quality has diminished, as happens a lot with shows as time goes on. But I think it has really important messages about womanhood and motherhood and feminism and patriarchy and all that stuff. I think TV has come a long way in creating amazing roles for women, and film is getting better. Promising Young Woman was the best film I watched this year so far, it was phenomenal. I like to consider different ideas and try to figure out my stance on these things. One of my favourite classes in college was Women's Literature. I don't think I'd ever been exposed to feminist writing before. Or not even feminist, but just amazing books about women written by women. Wide Sargasso Sea is excellent - it has Bertha Mason, Mr Rochester's mad wife from Jane Eyre, as the female protagonist, and we get her version of what really went down. It was cool.

Anyway, went for a run this evening, that's my update for today really. Food bad, but as I said, nothing is filling me up. Nothing.
 

Cate

Support crew
Em, are you replacing the wine with something else that is no alcohol. I have been trying different things like no alcohol wine(disappointing) & NA G & T's (delicious) & just some diet soft drinks with a piece of lemon in a nice glass & they seem to be satisfying any cravings & they are also filling.
Well done on the run!
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
It's funny you asked that Cate, cos my dad brought home this lovely elderflower and pomegranate drink yesterday that would do just nicely! Might try it Friday night.

I'm feeling better about the no alcohol thing again. The cravings have died down a bit. I'm determined to keep going.

Very busy day today, I'm on holidays soon from work and trying to get everything done before then is a nightmare. But I'll battle on.

Played really good tennis this evening, I was very happy with that. The weather is so hot here at the moment. It's nice to wear a sleeveless top and shorts and still be warm. It doesn't happen here very often. I am very wary of the ultraviolet rays though, so it's factor 50 all the way for me. I've still got a nice colour regardless.

Mum is coming home tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about it, because she has been really, really difficult to be around. She made a commitment to me on the phone earlier to try her best not to just lie around feeling sorry for herself all the time. I know that sounds like I don't understand what she's going through or that I don't care - I absolutely do, but I also know that lying around ruminating is not going to get her out of this mode of being. She's done with the hospital now though, and says she's bored, which I think is a good sign.

Plan for tomorrow is work, work, work, then tennis, then see how Mum is after her stint in the hospital. I really, really hope she's feeling a bit better. Give us something to build on.
 

Cate

Support crew
It's funny you asked that Cate, cos my dad brought home this lovely elderflower and pomegranate drink yesterday that would do just nicely! Might try it Friday night.
That sounds nice, Em. I'm enjoying my late afternoon drinks, but am saving the more expensive ones for special occasions.
Mum is coming home tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about it, because she has been really, really difficult to be around.
It's understandable that you are nervous. I hope she will be OK!
 

alligatorob

Respected Member
Hey Emily, I am happy to see you are doing well with the no alcohol. That may be more important to you than the eating, doing one thing at a time probably makes sense. Continuing to exercise and eating as well as you can would be good. So is your plan to stay at home for a while? Might be best for you and your parents, and you should be able to save some $. Hope things work out with your mother.
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
- Thanks Cate. She's not exactly a joy to be around but I'm happy she's home at the same time.
- Thanks Rob. I'll probably be home until September at this stage. Still waiting for my deposit back from my old house (over €700) so I kind of need that to fund moving to a new place.
- Thanks LaMa. We need it. My nerves are frayed already.

It's Sunday! I was 2 weeks into my 'no alcohol' thing yesterday. I am down 0.4% body fat since this experiment began.

To be honest, I thought I'd have lost more weight and more body fat at this stage. I really feel that this pandemic is making my body refuse to burn fat. My appetite is so much bigger. It's incredibly annoying, the whole thing. But I'll keep going for the 30 days anyway. It's really good to reset and recharge regardless. What I really want to stamp out is drinking by myself. That was just happening way, way too much,

I'm also happy that I really haven't seen any ill effects from stopping either. I haven't had wild mood swings or any weird side effects, which I really thought I might at the level I was drinking. I mean, I am still suffering from mood swings, but that's just the way I am anyway. I think waking up with no solid plan of anything 'fun' for the day gets me down. I think I am better when I am busy.

I have to get off my ass soon and do some tidying in my room. That's not exactly inspiring me today. Mum is in bed, but she's off with my dad soon to meet my aunt, which will be good for her. She's been in a low mood since she got back, but more herself I feel. The hospital have been checking in with her regularly since she got out, which is great. She met with a nurse yesterday and they rang her this morning to follow up, which is good. I think it's important for her to feel that she has people out there trying to help her.

Another scorcher here today. Maybe after cleaning my room for a while, I should go to the beach...
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Great work on the no-alcohol rule! The pandemic is making most of us want to eat more, I think, except for those who struggle to eat when stressed.
Glad to hear the hospital is checking on your mom regularly, that must give you some peace of mind.
 

Cate

Support crew
My body is hanging on like grim death to my fat too, Em. Like you I expect weight to drop off when I stop drinking wine. It didn’t last time either. It doesn’t seem fair, does it?
I’m glad your Mum is being followed up by the hospital. Hopefully she’ll continue to get better xoxo
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
- Thanks LaMa, it is good that there is some aftercare.
- It’s not fair at all Cate.

Things have been fairly hectic so I haven’t had much time to post. I’m on day 2 of my break from work today, which is great. #Lovinlife

Myself and Dad stayed with my aunt last night, she cooked a lovely chicken and chickpea curry for us with watermelon as a starter and raspberry cheesecake for dessert. It was a delicious meal all round.

Day 23 of no alcohol today. I’m on the homeward stretch. 3 weeks in, I’m at 0.5% of a total body fat loss but the scales have not budged much. It’s been fantastic to clear my head and feel truly energised for the first time since Covid started really. I’m thrilled with how quickly I adjusted, if I’m being honest. I will go out for a few drinks next week with friends but I really do want to stamp out wine consumption in my house, so I will keep going with that.

Tennis today and more nice family meals. Dad and I went for lunch yesterday and we were sitting outside a cafe with the sun shining down on us eating our ham sandwiches and it really felt like we were on holidays. It was lovely. I’m going to soak it all up.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Congratulations on going 23 days without alcohol! That's a big deal, great work. Glad to head you a little more relaxed and happy, too :grouphug:
 

Cate

Support crew
It is lovely to hear you sound more relaxed & happy, Em. Lunch with your Dad in the sunshine sounded so good!
Yay for being alcohol-free for so long. I had some red wine last night as it was the 1st of August & I didn't enjoy it at all. I also had trouble getting to sleep. I haven't worked out what rules I am going to impose on myself about drinking. I feel I am much better off not drinking & I have kicked the everyday habit for sure. Your rule about not drinking at home is a good one, but wouldn't work for me as we live in the sticks. Anyhow, it was good to hear you sounding cheerful, Em xoxo
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
- Thanks LaMa. :grouphug:
- Hi Cate. I'm quite near the city so could easily drink regularly without drinking at home. Well, under the current restrictions anyway.

I'm going to do a Grub Street-style entry today, as they are quite fun.

Sunday 1st August
8.30 am
- Woke up in my cousin's room. She has so many clothes. I slept very well considering I'm in a strange bed. I haven't slept in a single bed in a while. I have a luxurious double bed at home and I try to always rent a room with a double bed now. You have to be optimistic about these things.

9.30 am - After a shower, I sit down to breakfast with my dad and aunt. I have some sultana bran, which I haven't had in ages and which is lovely, with some Hi8 muesli mixed in and milk. My aunt has made a really tasty brown loaf, so I have a slice of that with some butter and marmalade. Her friend gave her a present of honey but with the honeycomb still in the jar. We have no idea how it works. The honeycomb seems to just be in the way. I have a small glass of Bottlegreen sparkling elderflower and pomegranate drink, which is the new family obsession this month, and an instant coffee with milk. Then I have another slice of white toast with butter and marmalade. And a handful of grapes.

10.30 am - I watch the pommel horse final at the Olympics. Our Irish hopeful Rhys McClenaghan did brilliantly in the qualifiers and has a chance of a medal. Matt Whitlock for the UK is up first - his routine is fantastic. Rhys unfortunately loses his balance and comes off the pommel horse. Olympic dreams in tatters. I'm nearly crying watching it, I just feel so bad for the guy. Luckily, he's only 22 and will hopefully be back for Paris in 2024.

12.30 pm - Even though I am not hungry at all, I have a poached egg with a slice of ham and a tomato on toast with butter, doused with plenty of salt and pepper. I wash it down with a cup of tea and milk. And a small slice of raspberry cheesecake and cream. I'm on my holidays!

2 pm - After a very educational tour of my aunt and uncle's beautiful flower garden, my dad and I leave for our mixed doubles tournament match.

3.30 pm - The match starts. The woman in the pairing against us is surly and vicious at the net. A bad combination. We have some moments of inspiration but they easily beat us in the end - 2-6, 3-6. My dad cries after the match. It's been a very hard time for him lately.

5 pm - I drive into the city for a short wander around and treat myself to a consolation latte. I desperately need to use the toilet on the drive back to my aunt's house, so stop at a shop to use the facilities and pick up a strawberry Ribena drink, which is really tasty.

6.30 pm - We sit down to a beautiful dinner of lamb with garlic potato fries, potatoes, carrots, broccoli and onion gravy. We have watermelon with blueberries as a starter and dessert is rhubarb crumble with custard and another slice of the delicious raspberry cheesecake with cream. My aunt offers me a glass of white wine, which I would love to have, but I stick to my guns and say no.

8 pm - I have a cup of green tea with salted caramel - another new flavour for me. I normally don't like green tea but this was really nice. We watch the Olympic highlights and a bit of a film. I go to bed at around 10.30 pm.

That's it for today, last chance saloon in the tennis tournament today! I really hope I can do it. I don't want my tennis holiday to end.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Sounds like a lovely day. It must have been hard to see your dad cry but it just might have been good for him.
Honey in the comb is more flavorful but a jar of honey with a piece of comb is generally just a marketing gimmick. You could eat the comb but it's nicer to break off a piece, chew it until the honey flavor is gone, and discard the wax. We usually only chew out the thin layer of wax "lids" that cover the cells, which you have to remove in order to harvest the honey and which always have a little honey on them.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Better to feel good while fat than to feel bad while fat 🤷‍♀️ With all the exercise you had planned for this week you've certainly got that part covered. At your current age and weight maybe right now the smoking is more important for you, health-wise, than the weight? Or something different entirely? It's ok to not have weightloss as a top priority at all times in your life.
 
Top