Ella... This is your Life!

I like autumn too. We have a lot of our hottest days in the first month of autumn, ahhh love it. I just love the sun :)
I've lived in a lot of different places, I was born in Gothenburg, Sweden. When I was four we moved to Cairns in Queensland, Australia. I got used to the hot weather :) BUT THEN we moved to Tasmania. Which is FREEZING a lot of the time. But we do get hot summers which is good.

Food
Brekkie:
Oats with honey
1/2 glass of blackcurrent juice

Snacks:
Apple
Banana

Lunch:
Turkey Salad Sandwich

Exercise
45 Minute Walk this Morning
40 Minutes Cardio at gym

I jumped on the scales this morning... I know I shouldnt have. It read 58.7kg ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! BUT i do believe in weight flutuations and I only officially weigh once a week on mondays. So hopefully its different on Monday. Plus, I did have 3 VERY BAD INACTIVE DAYS. So if I stay the same weight this week I will be very happy.
 
EEK! Ate about a serving of Jelly beans! REALLY should not have done that.

I am feeling so down at the moment. Work is really getting to me. I started 5 months ago.. and was just thrusted into this job. And if i make a mistake the company loses money, and clients get angry. So it is really serious.

I have been slipping up so much lately, its just there is SO much to know, and sometimes i forget to ask someone about something, and it comes and bites me back later. Whenever I make a mistake or something I just feel like bursting into tears. Fuck, im only 18, and have been working in this highly stressful job full time. Im barely an adult. I get treated really well though, no one gets angry at me - at least not to my face. I dont want to think what people say behind my backs.

It just sucks... and i have no one to turn to for support. My parents actually dont give a shit about me, i hardly have any friends anymore because between working, the boyfriend and exercise I just dont have time. And my boyfriend... its like he just isnt reliable. My car broke down on monday after coming back from his house, I sent him a text telling him what happened, and I didnt hear back until 2.5hours later. And he wasn't even sympathetic. And i know he wouldn't understand about work.. a normal boyfriend would be like "hey i'll take you to dinner tonight, or a movie, then we can talk about it". You know something to make me feel better :(

I guess i just dont deserve to feel better. :(

Thats the only thing i can pull out of this, the only person that could comfort me cant.
 
" Im just frustrated cause you're so depressing. You're the most pessimistic person ive ever met, not everyone in the world is against you you know"

Message from my boyfriend.

What the hell am I supposed to say to that?

Im a burden to him. What the heck? I tried texting him today cause I was so upset about work, but he got angry at me and said that im making him feel bad.

I am so incredibly upset and no one gives a shit.
 
Saturday 1 September

OK WORST DIET DAY IN THE WORLD!!!

I ate:
Oats with Honey
Turkey Wrap - Egg, Lettuce, Mayo, Carrot. With diet coke.
KFC - 2 Chicken Strips, Some Chips and Popcorn Chicken
Small Dinner Roll
VARIOUS lollies throughout the day.

FUCK I PIGGED OUT SO BAD.

I did 20 Minutes on the cross trainer
20 Minutes on the bike.
Worked pretty hard.

I just felt so full and ick all day.

I have my weigh in on Monday and I can tell I have gained heaps of weight back. Im never going to be at my goal by 7 October :( Thats only 5 weeks away and according to my ticker I have 3.9kg to go. The rate im going im not going to reach it. Ive lost 4kg in 6 weeks....

But tomorrow will be better. My shins have really been hurting though
I will go for a LOOOOOOOOOOONG walk tomorrow. After I go to the gym and do 60 minutes of cardio!

I have to get up really early and take mum and dad to the airport - so at least ill be up early.

Food shall go like this.

Brekkie:
Oats with Honey

Lunch:
Salad

Dinner:
Grilled Fish with steamed vegies.

No snacks. I dont deserve them at all.
Today sucked so bad :(
 
Sunday 2 September

Eek had to get up at 4am today! I had to take my mum and dad to the airport, they're going to Queensland for 5 days.

Food Today
Brekkie:
Oats with Honey

Snacks:
Uncle Tobys Muesli Bar
Milo with Milk
1 Slice Wholemeal bread with peanut butter

Lunch:
VERY small bowl of pasta (like 10 pasta pieces)

Dinner:
Going out... will have a salad

Exercise
20 Minutes Eliptical
20 Minutes Bike
15 Minutes Walking

I shouldn't snack so much!!

Weigh in tomorrow... i know i am going to be massive.
Estimate Weight: 58.9kg

That will make it 1kg gain in a week. But i have had a really really bad week, and I have been comfort eating.
And I have only done 3 cardio sessions :(
And only ONE morning walk :(
And I ate just sooooooooooooo badly :(

I will definatly be trying harder next week.

October 7 is 5 weeks away. And if I weigh in at 58.9kg tomorrow that means I will have 4.9kg to lose in 5 weeks - and that is virtually impossible.
So I am hoping I will be 56.0kg by October 7, and I wont go shopping until I am 54kg.
 
Monday 3 September

Weigh In Day!

Last Monday's Weight: 57.9kg
This Weeks Weight: 58kg

Gain of 0.1kg

I am very VERY happy with this. I was expecting more of a weight gain, because I have had such a bad week.

4kg to go!

And I have 5 weeks to do so! If I dont have too many stuff ups I reckon I can do it.

Goal Weight for 9/9: 57kg

Food Today

Brekkie:
Oats with Honey - 850kj

Snacks:
Diet Creme Caramel - 317kj
Apple - 360kj
Bikkie - 300kj

Lunch:
Turkey Sandwich with Lettuce, Curried Egg, Cranberry Sauce

Dinner:
Fish OR Chicken with Salad/Vegies

Exercise

20 Minute Walk to and From Work
40 Minute Walk

Today's Score:

Diet:
Exercise:
Fruit/Vegies:
Water:
Rating For Today:
 
Hi Ella,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're not having a very good time of lately. Stressful jobs suck! I've had a few in my time, and I don't deal with them well. Is there something else you could do that wouldn't be so stressful?

It's too bad you don't have a better support system at home. Have you tried to talk to your parents about things? Do you have any siblings you can talk to? You really should think about ditching your bf. I think you are afraid to be alone, but when you think about it, you already are. You deserve someone who cares about you and your problems. He clearly doesn't. Sounds like he's only in it for the good times. Maybe you don't think you deserve better, but you do. Also, I would try to rekindle your friendship with your girlfriends. Remember--boyfriends come and go, but girlfriends are forever. Don't neglect your gf's b/c of a bf.

And one last thing--it doesn't look like you are doing any weight training--just cardio. You really need to start doing some or else you're going to lose muscle instead of fat. Then you'll just look less toned. And, according to your ticker your BMI is already well within the normal weight range. Are you sure you even need to lose weight? I think maybe you actaully look fine, just that you feel bad about yourself so you think you'll feel better if you're thinner.

Sorry if I sound preachy. It's just that I've kind of been there, so I know how it feels, and being 35, I've got a lot of experience with dating, weight and self-esteem issues.

You've got to love yourself if you want someone to love you--and being a stick isn't going to make you or anyone else love you more. You've got to love the whole Ella--inside and out. Sure you're never going to be perfect (no one is), but you have to learn to love yourself as you are--b/c that person is very loveable.:hug2::hug2::hug2:
 
bikinibound said:
Hi Ella,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're not having a very good time of lately. Stressful jobs suck! I've had a few in my time, and I don't deal with them well. Is there something else you could do that wouldn't be so stressful?

It's too bad you don't have a better support system at home. Have you tried to talk to your parents about things? Do you have any siblings you can talk to? You really should think about ditching your bf. I think you are afraid to be alone, but when you think about it, you already are. You deserve someone who cares about you and your problems. He clearly doesn't. Sounds like he's only in it for the good times. Maybe you don't think you deserve better, but you do. Also, I would try to rekindle your friendship with your girlfriends. Remember--boyfriends come and go, but girlfriends are forever. Don't neglect your gf's b/c of a bf.

And one last thing--it doesn't look like you are doing any weight training--just cardio. You really need to start doing some or else you're going to lose muscle instead of fat. Then you'll just look less toned. And, according to your ticker your BMI is already well within the normal weight range. Are you sure you even need to lose weight? I think maybe you actaully look fine, just that you feel bad about yourself so you think you'll feel better if you're thinner.

Sorry if I sound preachy. It's just that I've kind of been there, so I know how it feels, and being 35, I've got a lot of experience with dating, weight and self-esteem issues.

You've got to love yourself if you want someone to love you--and being a stick isn't going to make you or anyone else love you more. You've got to love the whole Ella--inside and out. Sure you're never going to be perfect (no one is), but you have to learn to love yourself as you are--b/c that person is very loveable.:hug2::hug2::hug2:
Click to expand...

Yeah I really need to get into weight training. I always plan to go 3 times a week but it never happens. I might get a few personal training sessions cause I have no idea what I am doing there! Also, when I go to the gym I always think its a waste JUST doing weights. Dumb thinking I know lol.

Well I went to my friends 18th party on Friday, so i'll def be spending more time with my friends. Work has just been so busy that I havent had the time.

And at home... I have been fine not having a support system there, because I have always been so independant, and I can cope with stuff on my own. Lately it has all built up though, with work and my weight and the boyfriend... And i dont like whinging to people! I think I just had a really bad week, this week will be better.

Thanks for all the support! Im definatly going to start getting some weights routines in there. I am following the e-book "burn the fat feed the muscle", so I have all the facts I've just gotta use them!
 
loveat116 said:
Yeah I really need to get into weight training. I always plan to go 3 times a week but it never happens. I might get a few personal training sessions cause I have no idea what I am doing there! Also, when I go to the gym I always think its a waste JUST doing weights. Dumb thinking I know lol.

Well I went to my friends 18th party on Friday, so i'll def be spending more time with my friends. Work has just been so busy that I havent had the time.

And at home... I have been fine not having a support system there, because I have always been so independant, and I can cope with stuff on my own. Lately it has all built up though, with work and my weight and the boyfriend... And i dont like whinging to people! I think I just had a really bad week, this week will be better.

Thanks for all the support! Im definatly going to start getting some weights routines in there. I am following the e-book "burn the fat feed the muscle", so I have all the facts I've just gotta use them!
Click to expand...

That sounds great! Just ditch the bf and you'll be good to go!;)
 
bikinibound said:
That sounds great! Just ditch the bf and you'll be good to go!;)
Click to expand...

hehe I honestly wish it were that simple. we just have massive extremes.. but i want to work on it, cause we can really be perfect. It'll prob bite me in the ass later lol.

How long should I be doing weights for? Is 20 minutes enough?
 
loveat116 said:
hehe I honestly wish it were that simple. we just have massive extremes.. but i want to work on it, cause we can really be perfect. It'll prob bite me in the ass later lol.

How long should I be doing weights for? Is 20 minutes enough?
Click to expand...

Trust me--it is that simple. No couple is perfect, but you have to have mutual respect, and I don't see that. Love is a 2-way street. If he's not willing to work at it, nothing's gonna change. He either cares or he doesn't, and it seems pretty obvious to me that he doesn't care. Something I've learned is that when your friends and impartial stangers think your bf sucks, they're right. Love is blind, remember that.

As to the weights, I would do 30min 3x a week. Get the trainer to help you--they know much more about what you should be doing than I do..lol:D

Good luck with all this.
 
Tuesday 4 September

Food

Brekkie:
Oats with Honey

Snacks:
Milk + Milo
Diet Mousse - 64 Calories
Apple - 72 Calories
Cup-A-Soup - 90 Calories

Lunch:
Turkey Sandwich with cranberry sauce and lettuce

Dinner:
Leftover pasta small portion

Exercise

20 Minute Walk to and from Work
40 Minute Walk if I have time

Eek.
I have a dentist appointment tonight at 5:30pm!
AND I have to clean the entire house up.
At least it will help me not to snack.
So I reckon i'll get home at about 7pm-ish. Will take me 30 minutes to clean up... then I could go for a walk then. Could even go to the gym, not sure how I will be feeling after my fillings though.

Tomorrow morning I will go for a walk though.

I didnt do too great last night. I had a muesli bar before I went to bed, which i shouldnt have. And I also had two choc-chip cookies! ARGH. Ive really got to stop eating like this!
 
Just a quick update.

I had another milo and 5 lollies :(
I wasn't even hungry! I am craving somethings really bad at the moment!

I leave work in 20 minutes to go to the dentists. Eeeek!

At least it will distract me from food!
Just gonna reheat some pasta when I come home for dinner.
Got LOTS of cleaning to do hehe.
Then will sit in front of the telly and watch MY tv shows in peace hehe.

Im going to go for a BIG walk tomorrow morning before work :D
 
Bit of an update

Last week was a lot like the week before, not so bad, but not so great either.

I doubt I have lost any weight, I was supposed to weigh in this morning but I was at my boyfriends, so I will do it tomorrow.

Last week I:
Did 3 Cardio Sessions
Did 2 Weights Sessions

So not so great at all :(

But this week is a new week!

And i would LOVE to be 57.5kg by next Monday.

How I am going to achieve that:

Eat set food each day and stick to it.
Do cardio 4-5 times a week
Do weights 4 times this week
Go on FOUR morning walks

Today's Food

Brekkie:
1/2 Cup Oats
1/3 Cup Milk
1 Cup Water
Honey

Snacks:
Banana
3 bits of slice (weeny pieces, around 150 calories)
Slice wholemeal bread with tinned tuna

Lunch:
2 Slices Wholemeal bread
Turkey 60 grams
Cranberry Sauce
1 Egg
Lettuce

Dinner:
100grams Chicken grilled
2 Tbps BBQ Sauce
1 Corn Cobb
1/2 Cup Carrots

This is all 1400-1500 calories a day.

Exercise:
20 Minute Walk to and from work
30 Minutes weights
40 Minutes cardio

I have 7 weeks to reach my goal weight of 54kg. 4kg in 7 weeks, I can do that :D

I would love to be 55.5kg by my birthday on October 7, see how we go :D will report back tomorrow for weigh in.
 
Didnt go so well yesterday.

I ate:

An extra muesli bar at work
Dinner
A raspberry ice lolly
heaps of jaffas
small bowl of crisps

ARHHHHHHHHHHH!! I need to stop!

I did however do:
20 Minutes on the eliptical
30 Minute walk at 6.0kh/hour

Today:

Brekkie: Oats with Honey
Lunch: Tuna and cheese toasted sandwich
Snacks: Banana, Light Mousse, Apple, 3 Cadbury Roses Choccies, raspberry split (390kj)
Dinner: Cobb of corn, 150 grams chicken, 2 scoops potato and gravy

Exercise:
20 Minutes on Cross Trainer at Lunch
20 Minute walk to and from work
 
Last edited:
Wednesday 12 September

Brekkie: Wheat Free Cocoa Pops with 1/2 Cup Lite Milk
Lunch: Tuna and Cheese Toasted Sandwich
Dinner: 100grams chicken, corn on cobb, vegies
Snacks: 1/2 Cup Lite Milk with Milo, Strawberry Muesli Bar, Light Mousse

Exercise:
20 Minute Walk to and from work
15 Minute Walk to and from the gym
Weights Routine on machines, free weights, ab exercises
40 Minutes cardio a night

I just have to keep exercising every day! And not binge at night, then I am sure I will be able to be 57.5kg by next monday :)
 
Last edited:
Progress Report for this Week
Monday - 20 Minutes Cardio
Tuesday - 60 Minutes Cardio, 30 Minutes Weights

Stuck to diet, going OK with exercise.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top