Eerika's Diary

fortyfour said:
I can't remember the big picture but erika, don't lose heart. If you are eating less than your maintenance calories, you WILL lose weight.

Sometimes when you jump on the scale its up because of water retention. The water fluctuates a lot and there are a number of reasons for it. Do i have to list those i've figured out:

too much salt
no exercise for days but bigger muscles to retain more water in the form of glycogen
menstruation
no bowel motions lately

The last one htat got me was no exercise for days. My weight went up from 61kg to 62.2 in less than one week i think. But then today it dropped over night from 62.2 to 61.4 because yesterday i worked quite physically in the garden. So you see! You must not worry when you know you are doing the right thing.

I weigh myself every day so i get to study this quite closely and have to figure out explanations. I do my best to avoid getting upset by the fluctuating numbers and i am trying to show everyone else that they need not worry either.

I find it so sad when people get disappointed by some little thing and lose heart and want to ruin their diet. You see it would be a mistake.

So please try not to get upset by the little things when you know what you are doing is right. Stick to the plan.
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Thank you too for the message Fourtyfour!

Im definitely eating less than my maintenance calories, Ive counted my eatings and also thought do I eat too much fat, carbs or proteins.. But no, everything should be fine. My fat should burn.

You are probably right about water retention.. Havent thought about that. But Im not using too much salt, I definitely control the use of salt as well. Menstruation could cause it.. And bowel motions are also fine, Ive never had problems with that. But Im sure some muscles retain more water in the form of glycogen..

So yes I should just stick with the plan.. Ive been thinking what it would be if I wouldnt count the calories and just eat all the crap. The little change already in me would dissapear definitely! And I would get the old puffy feeling. Dont want it. I also enjoying fitting into my jeans and not feeling like the button would pop off any minute! These are already pretty good reasons to stick witht he plan.. Not even mention about my physically better feeling all over.. This has been just bad day, but Im making it better. All is between my ears.. Thank you so much!
 
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So I turned somehow my day from worse to better.
I also talked in phone with my mother, who really tries to motivate me. Even she has seen how many times I have fell with this. But sure folks want to motivate and cheer me up, but Im known as a quitter. Eerika is always the one who cant really stick with her plans.. I hope this time I have enough fortitude to do it!

Tomorrow morning Im going to Wake up Spinning class. For the afternoon I must go to school and participate the second first-aid course. Interesting, but I totally hate sitting four hours on my ass in the auditorium!!

My meals today:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with quark and juice soup. (+Vitamins, omegas and magnesium.)
Snack: Quark with juice soup.
Another snack at home: Cappuccino
Lunch: 3 Fried eggs and some paprika.
Dinner: "Body pizza" I did the pizza bottom from quark, 1 egg, few tablespoons of wheat bran and ryeflour. Top of the pizza I had tuna, feta 3%, some turkey fillet, onions, and crushed tomatoes.. Pretty light I would say, but it tastes good! (+Omegas)
Evening meal: Blueberry & goji berry smoothie including quark and juice soup. (+Omegas)
Another cappuccino also...

I finished my coffee two days ago, so I must tomorrow buy coffee so this cappuccino drinking will stop!

Otherwise I drunk over 3 litres of water today... Didnt count the calories. I think calories are around 1700.

Now Im going to bed!
 
Good for you! I knew you were a strong girl and you are proving it every day!

Your plans all sound really great. isn't oatmeal the best? It's so tasty, filling and healthy!

I hope you made it to spin class!

You're so sweet to find me inspiring! And if I can help you in any way, that will make me really happy.
I'll be checking up on you and seeing how you're doing.

I know what a hard journey it is, but you are NOT a quitter, Eerika. Don't let people make you believe that about yourself. I'd rather say that until now, you didn't have a project that you cared about enough to stick with. But I DO think you care very much about getting thinner, fitter and getting into the military.
So, this is your time to SHINE and show everybody what you can do when you set your mind to it!

Go Eerika!
 
Rox said:
Good for you! I knew you were a strong girl and you are proving it every day!

Your plans all sound really great. isn't oatmeal the best? It's so tasty, filling and healthy!

I hope you made it to spin class!

You're so sweet to find me inspiring! And if I can help you in any way, that will make me really happy.
I'll be checking up on you and seeing how you're doing.

I know what a hard journey it is, but you are NOT a quitter, Eerika. Don't let people make you believe that about yourself. I'd rather say that until now, you didn't have a project that you cared about enough to stick with. But I DO think you care very much about getting thinner, fitter and getting into the military.
So, this is your time to SHINE and show everybody what you can do when you set your mind to it!

Go Eerika!
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Heyy! I was at the spinning class this morning, even it felt a bit hard to wake so early. My friday has been busy, but now Im just waiting for my mom and sister to visit me. Later I will see finally my boyfriend and we re going to watch a movie or something.. I absolutely love this feeling about weekend! :coolgleamA:

Ive started to eat oatmeal for breakfast again.. Usually I just add quark and sugarfree juice soup with it. Thats how I make it more filling for myself, and Im not feeling hungry after an hour..

Of course I find you inspiring Rox, you're the reason why I ended up writing my diary on this site on Januray. I think it is absolutely amazing how you have lost weight, it is not easy! Your kind of people make me believe more in myself and thinking I can do it too with a hard work! :eek: I want you to know that it really means a lot to me when you, or someone else on this site wants to cheer me up.

And you're right.. I want so bad to get thinner, fitter and of course the military is ahead of me. But I will do my best changing my lifestyle for good. I want to live my life the way Ive always wanted to. I shouldnt need to worry all these things.. And miss so many things for that in my life! Im so focused on this thing now..

Have a great weekend Rox, you're on my mind! :seeya:
 
Thnks so much, sweetie! I'lll be thinking of you, too!

I'm glad you have nice plans to see your family and boyfriend. I hope they will be more and more supportive as they start to see that you are really serious about this change in your life.

I was just looking at my weight loss history today. I couldn't remember exactly when I was at where you are now. In fact, on June 14, 2010, I weighed exactly 91kg (200.2lbs). I had already been on my eating and exercise plan for for a month and a half, as I started out at over 100kgs!
And just think- in one year, you'll be looking behind you like I am now, thinking "wow! I did that!". It's a good feeling. Great even!

Good job getting yourself to spinning class today, btw. That's wonderful!
 
Rox:

My new boyfriend is very supportive, he is just the best!! He is so sweet saying I would be just perfect in a this way to him, but the thing is that I want the change myself. Im not good enough for myself, and thats why I must change.

But I wonder every once in a while how did I found so perfect boy for me. He is definitely all I want, I really hope our relationship will last! He has said to me that at least army wont make this collapse! ;) Im glad he understands the military, because its not a long time since he got back to reserv spending a year in army. This my new bf H. is very athletic himself, interested in same things like bodybuilding and fitness! We talk a lot about just about working out and I get very good opinions from him about my diet! So how much more cooler a bf could be? :beating:

My folks are just like every other time. If I tell them about my success with the diet, they re like "good job, good job.." And my little sister goggled with her eyes when I told her I would like to reach 70kg goal in december 2011. So she didnt rely on me at all. I felt so stupid.. Or .. :piggy:

I really wish I can be like "Did I really do that?!" After losing this overweight.. I want that moment to come in my life. I bet it would be the most finest moment in my lifetime!

This morning I jumped on a scale a bit depressed, and GUESS WHAT! It showed 1,1kg less than yesterday and any other day on this week! Whoaa... So you can guess how big smile was on my face after that. And now Im definitely going to spin/pump class with a happyhappy smile on my face! :D Talk to you later, now I must rush to the gym!
 
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OMG!
I'm so happy for you. Over one kg is a GREAT result! You must really be over the moon. And it's these little victories that can keep us going and get us to our final goal!
Good for you, Eerika!

And I'm SO glad that your boyfriend understands what you are trying to do and supports you. That will make a huge difference in how things go for you. It's lots easier to make this kind of change when those closest to you can really give you love and encouragement!

And as for the end result....it is indeed a great moment when you get to a normal BMI and don't feel you look bad , unfit or unhealthy. And I'm pretty proud of what I've done. the funny thing is, though, that (of course!) my journey isn't apparent to anyone that didn't know me before. I get so many comments now from women, saying things like "Oh..I shouldn't eat this cookie. I'm so fat! But you don't know what it's like- you're so slim!" I usually tell them right away that I know EXACTLY what they are feeling! But it's odd to tell a stranger that I used to weigh over 100kgs! It's kind of personal. But at the same time, people need to know that change for the better can really happen if you work at it.

So- I think you WILL get to goal, Eerika. And then you'll end up being an inspiration and helping others see what they can do. It will be awesome!

Have fun at the gym!
 
Rox:

Definitely the little victories keeps us going! I get so much more energy when I progress. It is really weird to think that some day I could watch from the mirror and feel good about myself. But even this would take me over 20 years, I will do it anyway. Because I must do what makes me feel good about myself, I cant roll forever in the misery. Or I dont want to. And I definitely want to be healthy.

Also my future profession as a nurse insists being a good example for other people.. Or there is too many nurses showing unhealthy example for others being all fat and living in a unhealthy way. Then those nurses are telling other people what to do, for example saying to some diabetic patient to lose weight. And I think it isnt exactly convincing you know... :toetap05:

And its funny how people act, like you told about the cookie -episode, which happens often, I bet! :rotflmao: But it is right thing to say that you know what its like, and what is your history with weightloss. It is everyone's own choice to eat a cookie or not even touch one. And I hear you, it is very personal to talk about weightloss, but still important to let people know. Change can happen!!

I had a great work out yesterday, as it was supposed to be the end of the world yesterday, I of course worked out as it was going to be my last exercise! LOL! It is so silly how people think the apocalypse will come some exact day just like that.. Someone always predicts the day for every year. So absurd..

My weekend has been good. Also Ive lost over one kilo on this week! Soon I will reach 5kg loss!! So cool! :party:
 
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On this week Ive lost -1,5kg!!! And I cried first that the losing stopped.. LOL. Im all happyhappyjoyjoy now! :D We went for a morning walk/jogg with my boyfriend this morning. It was tough work out and lasted for an hour.

Now it is time for oatmeal and shower!! Have nice day everyone! :)

P.S. Im going to be soon under 90kg! OMG!
 
eerika said:
On this week Ive lost -1,5kg!!! And I cried first that the losing stopped.. LOL. Im all happyhappyjoyjoy now! :D We went for a morning walk/jogg with my boyfriend this morning. It was tough work out and lasted for an hour.

Now it is time for oatmeal and shower!! Have nice day everyone! :)

P.S. Im going to be soon under 90kg! OMG!
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Getting under 90 soon will be great! I remember that it was a big milestone for me!

Congrats on a great loss this week!
 
Im reeeeally excited about getting under 90kg. I dont want to weight this much never ever again!

Im having stressful schoolweek, because it is the last one. Tomorrow I have two resits: medicine math and microbiology. I am trying to pass math the last time, seventh time!! And no mistakes allowed, none. The answers must be 100% right. First times I tried to pass it I was SO close, and then my motivation went downhill because I havent been able to pass the test. Everyone else have done it already, most of them in the very first time. So I have huge pressures here. I feel a bit embarrassed and stupid. But the thing is that I find math very difficult, and Ive always been bad at it. :cool: Im afraid that I will fuck up tomorrow, and the worst thing would be to fuck up BOTH EXAMS! I probably will do it anyway. Pessimist wont dissapoint and so on....

My motivation with school is just TOTAL ZERO. REALLY. The army, losing weight and exercising like crazy is keeping my thoughts very busy.
I was pretty confused and flattered when my school mate asked from me have I lost weight, because I look like it. :D Thats how she said. OMG. Apparently it starts to show, I feel like my face is a bit slimmer, not so puffy anymore. :blush5:
 
Hello..

My short summerholiday started today, but I have still so many things to organize... Sure it is easier cos I dont need to go to school anymore, we had this morning our last lecture about paediatrics. Doctor who lectured us was very intelligent and interesting personality. I think I learned a lot.. :)

But I am so stressed because I dont know how I will manage june financially.. Im so god damn pissed off that I didnt get a job from the hospital for a month even they need employees! I guess they wanted workers for longer term.. But STILL I am so pissed. Sooo now I have to get trough some fights to get income support and plapla.. To get my rent paid for june and get some money for food. I hate this kind of situations! From july administration will pay my appartment and some required bills because I will join the army. But now I have to stress my head off to think how the hell I will survive from next month.

Today I had the pizza day I mentioned before. We went for pizza with my classmates. I didnt even feel like eating it, but it was fine. Didnt really wake any motions in me.. I ate some ice cream also. I wish it will boost my metabolism.. Im glad to get back with my cheerless diet foods.
But Im feeling terribly thirsty after eating almost the whole pizza, and SO TIRED! Also my stomach went immediately upside down! Not so nice that one....

Ive exercised like 3 hours on this week.. Today I will keep a day off I think. I should tidy my appartment, how boring is that... But my mom is coming for a visit tomorrow and she hates when my place is all messy. Plah..

Later..
 
Sorry you're feeling stressed and down! You're really dealing with a lot. But you are doing a great job!
Keep going, sweetie!

I hope you have a nice weekend planned. Maybe you have something fun to look forward to?
 
Rox said:
Sorry you're feeling stressed and down! You're really dealing with a lot. But you are doing a great job!
Keep going, sweetie!

I hope you have a nice weekend planned. Maybe you have something fun to look forward to?
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I will sort these things out somehow.. :)

I had kinda free eating day yesterday and I gained like a kilo from it (fluids). But now I will work my butt off to burn fat for the rest of the week! :D

It is my birthday today, so my mom is coming for a visit. My boyfriend is at work for the whole weekend so Im just spending the weekend watching movies and working out.. I actually like when I have some "own" time. :) So Im turning 21.. But I dont feel like partying or anything like that.

Actually at the moment Im feeling so good that I can just enjoy the morning coffee here alone and in minute I will go for one hour jogg all alone! :D I hate all the fuss, spcially when its a birthday.

Anyway, I wish you a nice weekend Rox!! <3
 
Happy Birthday, Eerika!!!!

I'm not making a fuss, I promise!
But I just HAVE to say:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE!!!!!:party::party::party:

You are a special girl and I know you have a bright and happy future ahead of you, making your dreams a reality.
You go forward, Eerika, and don't stop for anybody!
 
Hahah!! Thanks!! <3

And you said some lovely things there.. Thank you! :Angel_anim:

I just came from the morning jogg and now I must start to eat! Talk to you later! ;)

And OH, I forgot to fuss about something!! One of my old jeans fitted when I put them on!!! OMG. I was SOOO amazed... Those jeans are just perfect on me at the moment. I cant believe this. 5 Weeks ago I couldnt get the button closed...!
 
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My morning started with a spin/pump class and then I relaxed in sauna. I love being in sauna and Im very sad I dont have a sauna myself. I had in my last apartment.. Well my rescue is the gym where I can enjoy the sauna!

I spent pretty boring birthday I would say. But like I mentioned, dont like the fuss... I just took it easy. But I got few very useful gifts from my mom! She bought me a printer! And I got some new recovery drink taste of banana-chocolate. :drool5: So Im happy, I really didnt expect to have anything at all. :)

Oh, and we went to eat in a nice italian restaurant with my mom and little sis. They ate pizza though, BUT I didnt! I ate some nice cold smoked salmon sallad, it was nice. But I need to stick with this now, I dont want to throw my 4 weeks of dieting away! Even though after the free eating day Ive had some moments when Iven been wanting candy. Today Im not going to rent a movie, because I know I would put myself in a situation of temptation -> Theres A LOT of candy!! I must get over this...

I gained actually almost 2kg from the free eating day! Today I weighed myself and Ive lost a kilo now. How slowly it will drop really?? I didnt eat that much though??? A pizza, one small ice cream and about 150g of candy... Plah,. Today Ive been hungry because Ive sticked with the diet strictly. Im going to feel hungry next days also! Next saturday will be my little sister's graduation party, so Im going to eat some cake for sure! I want to weight 88kg SOOO BAD till then! At the moment it feels like impossible! I will do my best!

P.S What do you think about my outfit to my sister's graduation party?? I bought it yesterday. :)
 
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Soooo my fifth dieting week is starting today! I lost only -100g last week! Oh, probably because of the "free eating day".... But Im happy it dropped even a bit! But I really wonder how wrong eating effects on your body, eh? Like immediately. OR my body is just weird, I gain a kilo if I even take a look on something junk food!

Hmm.. I didnt get under 90kg yet! This morning scale showed 90,1kg! So on this FOR SURE I will weigh under 90kg!!! I havent put up my eating here because Im eating same every day almost! :D But it is easier that way, and I really enjoy my diet. :) It makes me feel so much better than eating some crap!

I exercised for 7 hours last week. 7 Work outs and 7 hours.

On this week I will try to exercise a lot too, but Im going to my folks on wednesday to help organize my sister's graduation party soooo I hope I have enough time to work out as well. Im also feeling like Im having a flu..? Ohh I DONT want to have flu at the moment! ARGHH! Im going to take overdose of C-vitamin or something...
 
Over 5kg LOST!!!!!

OMG!! Guys, my weight just dropped suddenly again! This morning I weighed 89,2kg! So 5,3kg LOST!! I cant believe this... Now Im under 90kg and never ever wanna weight that much again! Bye bye those 90 kilos!!:party:
 
This week has been very good for me! My weight is around 88-89kg at the moment and I havent slipped with my diet, EVEN Im at my parent's house baking all these delicious foods to my sister's graduation party! Im learning some self-discipline here.. Im very determinded with this. And its not actually even causing any problems to me. On saturday I will taste some of the foods though! But Im not going to let it slip out of my hands. :) Everything is planned.

I cant work out as much here at my parent's place as in the city. But Ive been walking with the dogs here and I love being at home for while.. Next week I will go to the gym again and do the morning joggs.

I felt a bit bad though because my family didnt really recognise the little change in me.. Maybe after another 5 kg then..
 
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