Diary: Curvie Girlie: A Yo-Yo's Reformation

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Hey Girly! It's good you are so confident and happy with yourself. Those comments would have sent some women into anorexia. You are a strong woman and strength is an asset that makes some men uncomfortable. But who gives a shit right? They can get the fuck over it.

Have a great Monday and get a run in. You'll feel better afterwards.
 
I'm sorry, but I'm going to speak my mind!!

Yeah he's calling and sending you emails, because his ass is feeling GUILTY, and it should be in my opinion it was shit thing to say, especially to someone who works so damn hard at toning and working out her body. I think he's feeling intimidated a little by you. You work out, you take care of what you look like, and well he knows guys are checking you out and he's just going through a jealousy "CRAMP" Forget about him right now, and don't even reply to that email, it's not worth your time!! Plus, if you do, it will be telling him that it's okay to crunch on you about your build, and well It's NOT.... don't ever for one second think it's okay for a guy to put you down on what you look like, or who you are, it's not okay, and he needs to know that. You said your happy with your body, we all have seen RECENT pic's of you, GEEZ look at you in your Halloween costume, I swear you wore that outfit like a model, you looked so healthy, thin, in shape it was amazing to me!! That's what I want to look like some day, and if any guy out there thinks that doesn't look good, HE'S OUT OF HIS MIND!!

I'm seriously pissed that he said those things to you and is now back peddling to make up for doing so, there is NO EXCUSE, and he should know that!!

Okay, I'm done venting, and I think your gorgeous, even at your highest you look ten times better than I do!!! SHIAT!! !! LOVE YA LOTS!!
VBF~
 
LOL! You make points, VBF.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I don't want to hold grudges or get bitter--that would make me ugly on the inside! But I recognize this man is no good for me anymore. Truth is, we only see each other a few days a week, and while we love each other very much, that's all we can handle.

I used to reject the idea that things happen for a reason. Now I feel that they probably do, mostly to teach us life lessons. Right now I have the attitude that I am able to take shit gracefully, and keep on doing what is best for me. And not worry about him anymore.
 
OoOOOh Val Angel,

I read that email he sent you and the first thing that came to mind is, "I want to break that bitch's ass." I just don't like people who throw mindfucks around like it's candy, you know? I mean, hey, if you're into that and you're kinky... like moi.. then by all means, go on right ahead. (If it's consensual, that is...) However, he's just doing the following to be a flat out dick. I could go on, but mah girl, MissLadyBug, had that shit tight! haha! I love you, Kim! Well, I hope your day is going well, dollface. Talk to you soon!

-Sheryl

PS David sent me an IM on yahoo.
He wanted me to say "hello" to you.
Aww.. I miss him. :(
 
RE: Kim/Sheryl's Replies:

:iagree:

>>>>>>>>

*I hope you have A Goal Reachin' Monday Sexy Buns!*

Have I told ya lately how awesome you are?!

:D

:waving:

<3 Ya!
 
Thanks girls I love you!

Feeling good today, remember how I took 7 days off exercise, and at first I was all worried about it and stuff? Like I couldn't go through with it? THEN I felt comfortable--too comfortable. I exercised on the 8th day and to my pleasure, found it was great and my body was free of fatigue. But day 9, 10, and 11 I just wasn't motivated. So today I went, right after being online for a bit, to Nisene Marks and ran in the woods for 50+ minutes. It was great! My muscles felt.....free and clear (?) Can't describe it, but basically taking time off exercise was perfect, the right thing to do. I can't say I didn't think a lot about him, who from now on I am NOT referring to him as my "BF", he is now my "AIL"--Asshole I Love (despite myself). My AILment. LOL! Don't worry, soon as I meet my match I'll dump his ass faster than you can blink (probably) :rolleyes: But the run felt GREAT. I was wheezing a bit, my cardiovascular endurance may have waned a but no doubt, it will return.

I'm going to do yoga today and I think I'm going to weight train too. Yes, I'm going to be lifting a little lighter, and I might forgo the squats today. Not to sound like a broken record, BUT I love my body, BUT I also have not been liking the muscle gain from the heavy lifting that much, either. To be perfectly honest. I was sort of "bulking," because I was building muscle AND eating a lot, hence the big muscles and bellyfat. If I eat to deficits and do a bit more cardio and couple that with resistance training, I may get back down to at least 140, which would be great!

Food:
b-fast I had a Kashi Go Lean! bar because I wasn't very hungry. 190 calories
Lunch I ate a HUGE tofu sandwich and drank a Acai drink, for about 650 calories
Snack was a Life Water at work cause I didn't plan SHIT today as far as food goes. 120 calories.

What's that....960 calories. Well, I'm not starving! It's a rare day, BUT I must say I'm looking forward to a nice dinner tonight, MAYBE sushi (?)

Exercise: 50 minutes running in the woods, about 550-650 calories burned.
 
My twin was spot on with her little rant..lol. Love you Twin!

I am so glad you have decided what you have about AIL..lol<--love that btw. :D
 
I'm so proud of you for being so strong! It's so hard to leave someone you love, even when you know they aren't the best for you! You are one of the sexiest people around... you are physically beautiful and internally beautiful!
 
Sheesh girl, that really wasn't very nice. Odd about your boobs because mine dont get any smaller from weights, in fact, the muscle just adds to what I already have and actually increases my cup size if anything. We get stomachs more as we get older, trust me I never ever had one like this before. So he better get used to seeing more of that. LOL. Shiat, his sleeping all day ass needs to get up and get some glasses, you are fuckin hot and he's lucky to have you. One day you will tire of this when you run into some other guy that turns you on as much as him (they're hard to find but you'll run into one eventually) and he'll have some major regrets. I can almost guarantee this. All right, sorry LOL :D. Not that I'm one to talk ha ha.
 
Val, what did Steve say about the bulking up? That's happening to me too. Are you going lighter with more reps? How many? I've got the belly fat and the muscles are getting too bulky for sure.
 
bikinibound said:
I am so glad you have decided what you have about AIL..lol<--love that btw. :D
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Thanks! lol

daiseeangel said:
I'm so proud of you for being so strong! It's so hard to leave someone you love, even when you know they aren't the best for you! You are one of the sexiest people around... you are physically beautiful and internally beautiful!
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Geez, make me blush! :eek: And I haven't left him yet!!! Our relationship is pretty much like this: :beatdeadhorse5: But he doesn't have any problem with that, it's just me who wants more attention/empathy/intimacy. I'm pretty much going to consider him my "friend" and consider myself with no boyfriend. In that way I am "single" ;)

Blancita said:
One day you will tire of this when you run into some other guy that turns you on as much as him (they're hard to find but you'll run into one eventually) and he'll have some major regrets.
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Thanks for the sweet compliments! :D
And I know you're right, I'm waiting for the day! No wait, if I wait it won't come....I'm ignoring my waiting and then it'll come! :willlynilly:
 
Blancita said:
Val, what did Steve say about the bulking up? That's happening to me too. Are you going lighter with more reps? How many? I've got the belly fat and the muscles are getting too bulky for sure.
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He didn't say much, but I recall that if you're building muscle, you're eating more cause ya can't have deficits AND build muscle, you can only have deficits and MAINTAIN muscle. SO if he's bulking he's eating a lot, then of course he'll get some bellyfat. Then he "cuts," which I guess is maintenance of muscle by weight training, but eating to deficits and losing fat. I think I'm going to lighten my weight training and have a day of heavy lifting only once every two weeks. I'm definitely going to cut from 3xs to 2xs a week. Building that muscle made me really eat! But that wasn't all it, it was also my high GI foods that were making me binge, etc......I think I'll shoot for sets of 10 reps, with maybe a difficulty of 7....if that makes some sense, I made that up! LOL
 
Curvie Girlie said:
it's just me who wants more attention/empathy/intimacy.
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Sounds JUST like me! James isn't exactly the loving/kind/intimate words or actions kind of guy. The problem is that I need the loving/kind/intimate words and actions. I am a pretty needy person, so this can create a problem for us.

Geez, I am just ranting today! I just finished a rant in response to what you said in my diary, too! :nopity:

I like this guy -----> :spam:
 
Yes, I'm fairly needy of sweet nothings etc too. That is part of the problem with my marriage. Hell, I've lived without it for over 10yrs, but why should I have to settle? Why should any of us have to settle?
 
Hey Val, good luck finding the right program for you. If nothing else, it'll help a lot if you do go the personal trainer route.
 
bikinibound said:
Yes, I'm fairly needy of sweet nothings etc too. That is part of the problem with my marriage. Hell, I've lived without it for over 10yrs, but why should I have to settle? Why should any of us have to settle?
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Nobody should have to settle. I dated some selfish losers in my past. This is why I appreciate my H so damn much. You can't have a happy relationship unless there is compromise and if a person isn't able to "naturally" give you what you want without "having to try" then that is not the person for you. It should come naturally and not have to be forced.
 
I agree 100% with what Amy just said. But also remember a relationship is not 50/50 it's 100/100 and what you put into it, you should also get out of it. It's true, and there are guys out there that agree with this, after all it was my H who taught me this to be true. It will happen, it may not be this week, or next month, but you will find that "right" guy and you "will" know when it happens, it will be 100/100 all the time!
HUGS!
Kim
 
Hey you - I cant really comment much in this department as you know what I go through...however just do what you gotta do that is right for you!!!
 
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