Diary: Curvie Girlie: A Yo-Yo's Reformation

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I'm also very much looking forward to a sexy Halloween costume. :p I usually wear a semi-sexy one anyway, but this year I'll actually look sexy in it. Haha Halloween is the best!
 
TomO said:
Hi Val. Hope you manager never reads these journals, LOL!
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Eh. Doesn't matter much anyway! :rolleyes: She's really not a very good person I don't think anymore. She'll get what's coming to her-KARMA.

sunnydee said:
I'm also very much looking forward to a sexy Halloween costume. :p I usually wear a semi-sexy one anyway, but this year I'll actually look sexy in it. Haha Halloween is the best!
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Oh yeah!!!!!!!!!:D
 
I'll stop by Newbrides diary in just a second, that's horrible news. On a high note, I'm happy to see your perking up again. I'm so proud of you staying strong!! That's my VBF, you go girl!!
Kim
 
I know, I can feel it in your writing. I'm totally pumped for you!! I hope it just keeps getting better, and better each day for you!
 
What are you going to dress up as? I'm not very creative so I never tend to dress up, but that does seem kinda fun. Lots of people in the city dress up and walk around going to parties and stuff. You see some really great costumes.
 
p.s.--It's NOT a bunny, I was one last year--specifically THE White Rabbit with Alice. I was 154 lbs in it, and I look pretty good I must say...all that summer I was trying my damndest to get to 135 lbs and I kept vacillating from 160 to 151 every month...it was frustrating.
 
Cute, Joe, cute!!!

No offense but at this exact point in my life I'm sick of the dick. Wow I never thought I'd say that!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!! :rotflmao:

Update:

I tried to get to all the diaries but man oh man it's hard!! Then you all keep posting again! ;)

Food:

Yesterday my calories turned out to be 2300. I was fine with that because I was still hungry when I went to bed and I ate great, and I weighed in 1.5 lbs lighter than the day before. Today I had breakfast for lunch because I didn't have time to grab lunch before work:

B-fast: cereal and berries and soy yogurt, dark chocolate :cool:

Lunch: Berry wafflewich with raw almond butter

Snack: Cereal again, with agave nectar on top

Dinner: was really really weird. I had a salmon salad planned but it was 8 by the time I could cook and I decided to eat before dinner, then ate after wards, so it was a protein bar, some Black Diamond cheddar cheese, 10 green olives, and 1 slice of Alvarado STreet Sprouted wheat bread with cold-pressed extra virgin olive oil, 1/2 teaspoon.

Total calories: 1930. That is VERY low for me considering at this weight and after walking Genie and an INTENSE Kickboe with a LOT of jumping up and down, almost constantly, my requirements are 2500 or so.

Emotional well being:

Very good, it's nice to sit down and read diaries and email and stuff, all alone in this nice house. Last week I surrounded myself constantly with people, mostly men, and drank. That didn't make me feel better. Friday and Saturday I was with Trisha, and Sunday I got the talking-to from my friend who wants me to not drink as much, and then I visited my sober best friend and did the goddess cards reading, and got the phone calls from Nat about how he misses me and loves me. Monday I started reading The Road Less Traveled and today I have been methodical about everything I have done as a way to practice self discipline. I need it right now, and it's working. I feel healing.

Mental: This morning my mind started to race with worry about my job situation, and the Ohming and chanting and breathing abated it.

Romantic: I don't miss him that much. I like sleeping alone, but I have my cat and I grabbed him and made him sleep against my shoulder. He kind of sounds like a man the way he sighs and breaths and grunts. It might be because I'm on my period, but I don't miss affection, kisses, or sex at all right now. I'm enjoying loving myself and taking care of me, I even have been doing facials yesterday and today, and other such pampering things--and getting in bed by 11 instead of 2 like last week.

Financial: Wouldn't you know it, but I met, by chance, my friend's girlfriend whose mom is in the wine business in Sonoma County. The girl claims her mom has massive influence and can get me a full time job up there. S. told me its best to get a job before or after winter, so that mean about now or spring next year. I admitted I'm scared of moving right away (as I'm attached to this place) but I think it would be best for me to get away from the people I work with in the office (I never quite fit in, and I'm too wild for office work) and get away from the Ex, too. We're not good for each other and I have felt enough pain over him. I'm just afraid, scared things could actually work out. Every one of my friends and even my ex housemates say to leave him, though.

I have NOT made a decision--I'm giving her my resume and IF there is an offer I can't refuse, I'll move up there ASAP. If not, I'll wait until Spring time to leave.
 
I am so bummed out about Britta and Korrie right now. I feel powerless to help them. And I'm scared the diaries I haven't barged in on, for people I like, are full of bad times, too.

I'm also scared for myself. I'm very strong, but I can;t help but worry for the future, and constantly have to tell myself, "Have FAITH, Valerie, somethings will come up--they always do..." which is true.

Sigh. I guess I'm learning true patience. It's humbling to do this when other people have it worse than me.
 
Good to read your diary, thanks for popping in to mine. Yeah, California. Did do yoga today.

I'll have to see what's up with Britta (who I'm familiar with). Don't know Korrie,
 
Curvie Girlie said:
I am so bummed out about Britta and Korrie right now. I feel powerless to help them. And I'm scared the diaries I haven't barged in on, for people I like, are full of bad times, too.

I'm also scared for myself. I'm very strong, but I can;t help but worry for the future, and constantly have to tell myself, "Have FAITH, Valerie, somethings will come up--they always do..." which is true.

Sigh. I guess I'm learning true patience. It's humbling to do this when other people have it worse than me.
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I know what you mean. its not easy to face change in life. some come gradually some slap you in the face. but you're on the right track. i can so see you ohming and chanting hehe. the breathing always helps. when i'm really stressed out i chant also. but i do this only when i feel i can't breath. worked for me every time i had an oral exam or a presentation to give. just calms my pulse down. and i don't even do it out loud. people here in croatia don't really get the ohming and chanting. yoga is ok, but the rest they find a bit weird.
i also don't belong to a certain religion, my father is orthodox and my mom is catholic. i was born during communism so they didn't see the necessity to baptise me lol. but i know there is higher power there for me, loves me for who i am and who says i'm gonna love you no matter what. and that is comforting.

i'm going to tell you what i told britta...don't be afraid of the change and don't run. embrace it. move on. and don't be scared. i'm here for you :)

love you
Lena
 
Good morning Val!!!

Thank you so much for the concern...its nice to know who your friends are!! But don't worry hun, you know we'll get through this! besides, I, myself, did not get any real damage. I ache for my parents b/c of their damage. But we are making due. Its hard having your parents live w/ you after not living together for almost 15 yrs......but thats the worse of it right now, its not worth worring about!! besides, I'm a HUGE believer in the fact that God will not give you anything you can't handle. That applies to you too!!! Take it as a compliment!! when life hands you lemons, that means God knows your capable of making lemonade!! (maybe a little cheezy, but you get the picture ;) )


I'm glad to hear your getting over 'him'. Theres nothing like much needed "me" time to get you feeling better and thinking clearly. You are such an AMAZING woman!! Don't settle for less than anyone who will treat you like the princess you are!!!

congrats on you 1.5 pd loss!! yay!!!!

Keep your head up val :D i'm proud of you!!
 
It's so good that you're feeling able to maintain control over your life when so much is going on around you. Sometimes I worry about people on here, but I have to admit... I'm not worried about you. Of course I care about you and I'm concerned about the things that go on in your life, but I'm not worried. You haven't given me any reason to worry. :) No matter what comes up, you find a way to cope with it. You're wonderful! :hug2:
 
:D :eek: I am beaming right now!!!!:beating:

Happychubette said:
Good to read your diary, thanks for popping in to mine. Yeah, California. Did do yoga today.
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Yay for yoga! I'm going to my gym's 7:30 pm class with the instructor who calls herself "Moondance." How's THAT for California? ;)

lena410 said:
people here in croatia don't really get the ohming and chanting. yoga is ok, but the rest they find a bit weird.
i also don't belong to a certain religion, my father is orthodox and my mom is catholic. i was born during communism so they didn't see the necessity to baptise me lol. but i know there is higher power there for me, loves me for who i am and who says i'm gonna love you no matter what. and that is comforting.
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We have to remind ourselves, millions of people have been Ohming and chanting for thousands or years in parts of the world where there is a trend of superior health ;) Millions of Buddhists can't be wrong, right? :D

But on a serious note, I was not baptised either, but my Mexican grandma is Catholic and she gave me a Children's Precious Moments bible to read and other picture books like a rendition of The Good Samaritan, and I always enjoyed tales of love and forgiveness. When I was 18 I saw a documentary on Taiwan. Many "peasants" on that island practice several different religions at the same time. My grandpa, the Native American, is both Catholic and believes in our ancestors' old practices. As for me, I embrace it all. I have to--the proof is in the pudding. But I don't go to church. If a friend asked me to, I would go with them, whatever church it was. I've been to so many weddings......

newbride02 said:
I'm a HUGE believer in the fact that God will not give you anything you can't handle. That applies to you too!!! Take it as a compliment!! when life hands you lemons, that means God knows your capable of making lemonade!! Keep your head up val :D i'm proud of you!!
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I LOVE that--thank you!!! And you're right. I had a lot of things I had to do to feel positive about change and hardship, but I did and it is healing my self-esteem and self-worth, which is my immediate goal. Thank you very much!

sunnydee said:
It's so good that you're feeling able to maintain control over your life when so much is going on around you. Sometimes I worry about people on here, but I have to admit... I'm not worried about you. Of course I care about you and I'm concerned about the things that go on in your life, but I'm not worried. You haven't given me any reason to worry. :) No matter what comes up, you find a way to cope with it. You're wonderful! :hug2:
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:eek: You're wonderful too!! But thanks for the compliment, it made me smile and get up from the computer and dance around the room (Leo remember?) Thank you for not worrying. I am dreadfully worried about Britta but I also believe SHE will get through, too--I just wish I could help her more. I might have to get down to Santa Barbara....


Update: Real quick: got up, Ohmed, chanted, then ran down my LOG street to a mysterious spot, which turned out to be a gully for dirtbikes. I ran up and down and around and back so my jog was about 20 minutes. I chanted in my head--it kept my mind from racing about my job and my ex BF. When those thoughts started to comsume me, I pushed them out with serenity. I weighed in at 144.0, yay! Looks like the period bloat is going down down down. Anyway, have to go to work now!
 
Way to go Curves!! I'm so proud of you!! Keep up the focus, don't lose track at how far you have come. Your going to kick this, you are!!!!! I hope your work day is a good one!! DAMN I wish I lived closer!! That just pisses me off, I want to do some running with you on the beach and the woods, that sounds like such a blast, and I don't have anyone near me that runs. BLAH!!!! Okay Kim shut up!! again. hahahhhah Enjoy the day!! :) :jump: :) :rotflmao:
Kim
 
Hey Curves, just checking in on you. I'm jealous that you live in a nice environment around woods and the ocean. You are very lucky for that, trust me!
 
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