Curvie Girlie The Diary: Mind Playin' Tricks on Me

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Curvie Girlie said:
Are you talking about the band? It was a three piece, acoustic guitar, drums, and keyboard. It was monotonous and the lyrics were awful--a guy talking about screwing some guy's wife and taking pills and stuff. Not my bag.
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Also, I agreed to go to a club and see my co-worker's best friend's sister play in her band, and the band was emo, depressing, not talented, boring,
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Yeah. Not mine either. I'm not a big fan of self loathing and depression. Depression makes me depressed. A guy in an MMA forum I post on has a funny sig:

"I wish my weight were emo so it would cut itself" hehe
 
Curvie Girlie said:
ALTA! Thank you, but NO NO NO NO NO I have NOT memorized those names! I'm writing them to try to help me remember!! :D And I'll be saying them out loud when I do them, but yeah, it will take time and practice and patience before I'll have em memorized!
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I was gonna say DAMMMMMN, I know you SMART gurl....but you making us FOLKS heea feel like IGNANT folk YA HUR!!!!! :smilielol5:
 
I love salmon, but I never order it. It seems like they can never cook it properly. It doesn't take much since the salmon has such great flavor, but they always want to over cook it and slap butter and all on it. That, and they never get really good salmon.

Sucks about the band. I love seeing live music, but when they suck it feels like you wasted your artistic energy on crap. Worse then wasting money.
 
edco76 said:
"I wish my weight were emo so it would cut itself" hehe
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ADORABLE. I love it! :rotflmao: Depression makes me depressed, too--and in my life right now I want inner peace and contentment. I'm there, and also getting there, I just had a bad day. Not that bad, but I would definitely call it a bad day in regards to my body and emotional side--and reverting to habits I'm trying to get rid of (drinking, staying up late, eating foods that make me feel like shit, feeling sad about the ex when I shouldn't). I feel like my new routine (going to bed early, avoiding alcohol, doing am yoga) was thrown off and maybe I'm immaturely upset about that. I know that I'll be back on it, but I would have felt better if I'd been able to do yoga this morning. It seems to really make me feel very good for the day.....yesterday was an exception due to the circumstances.

Alta: Ya folks ain't ig'nant! :p

Trops: Word. There is one restaurant that both does their calamari and salmon dish to absolute perfection--Aqua Bleu in downtown Santa Cruz. If anyone ever come to my neck of the woods, you MUST eat there--but take me with you because the staff knows and likes me :)
 
Trops said:
Sucks about the band. I love seeing live music, but when they suck it feels like you wasted your artistic energy on crap. Worse then wasting money.
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My co worker paid for my ticket, but I was really standing there the whole time (can't even dance to that shit!) and wishing I was somewhere else!
 
That's what I mean. It isn't the money. It's the waste of artistic energy. Here you have all the elements to make something creative and wonderful and good and what do you do? Sap all the good out of it. I'd rather pay to not be there.
 
Hey Lady just thought I would check in... its Thursday... and I'm happy I have three classes then I'm freeeeeeeeeeee.... however I will probably hang on campus and study... yeah I'm a dork I know!!

Hope your haveing a wonderful Thursday!

PEACE!
 
Feeling down this morning, I was pleased to see that diary-hopping has perked me up :) A lot of you are pushing yourself in great workouts and doing yoga, and/or eating better etc. That is fucking cool! :hurray:

I only have a half hour lunch today because I opted for 8:30-5 instead of 8-5, and I brought a huge bowl of my miso soup and ate it over the course of this morning. I'm not hungry, so I'm going to read some of the Meditation Chapter of The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga and go to the beach and "try to meditate" on a blanket for the lunch break. I still don't feel particularly content with myself. I'm hoping that this will help.

I'm also trying to get excited about kickboxing tonight--it always makes me happy, and I usually look forward to it. So I'm going to concentrate on the good stuff and hope inner peace follows.
 
Curvie Girlie said:
What bothered me:

I forgot to get a picture of myself in the dress. I ate too many hors d'oeuvres, and they were bread-y. I had sips of wine during the tasting, and a glass of champagne with dinner. Even though I did not get intoxicated at all, I did get a head change that I didn't feel good about. Even though I told myself I might have a glass of wine while I was "not drinking" once in a while, I still felt guilty about it. The dinner was terrible--I ate fried calamari and felt awful after, and had a salmon dish for my entree that tasted gross and I have no idea how a swanky SF restaurant could have fucked that up! :confused:
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I find that anytime I go out all dolled up somewhere there's food and booze, all hell breaks loose. I make very questionable decisions that I cannot blame on the alcohol, itself. I think it has something to do with looking good = feeling good. Suddenly I don't feel the need hold to any of the rules I set up for myself prior to going out. Maybe if I wear a brown potato sack and throw in some hilly-billy teeth then I might have a chance walking away form a party without eating or drinking beyond what I should. I'll let you know how it goes.
 
lusciouslemon said:
Maybe if I wear a brown potato sack and throw in some hilly-billy teeth then I might have a chance walking away from a party without eating or drinking beyond what I should. I'll let you know how it goes.
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:rotflmao: HAHAHA I am so the type of person who would do that, just for shits and giggles! Uh, but not at a company thing ;) Oh, hill billy teeth, that's rich! :D
 
I went to the beach, got into lotus position, and chanted "Om Ritam Namah" which translates to "My intentions and desires are supported by cosmic intelligence."

This is Law 5 of the S.S.L.Y. and correlates to Thursday (more on this later). I meditated for a bit, then laid into shavasana and relaxed until my alarm went off and I came back to my office.

They're right--don't try to meditate in shavasana or you'll go to sleep instead :) I feel better than I did before. :)
 
OOOOO Kickboxing!!! Sounds like fun!! Glad to hear that diary hopping has brightened your spirits!! I am always down when I am at work... today I am just in heaven since I dont have to be at work!!!
 
Curvie Girlie said:
Positive and Not so much....I'll start with the good stuff:

--My day started off perfect and I arrived at the Restaurant that was hosting our tastings exactly on time.
--My dress was a hit--people complimented me left and right, and a few of my female older co-workers said I looked "sexy" even though the dress isn't particularly provocative (but it is clingy)
--I enjoyed seeing our company's wineries' reps and our own sales reps quite the much :D
--I got to leave my station and mingle, and have a paid-for dinner with my bosses and co workers with a beautiful view of the SF Bay and Bay Bridge.
--one of the waiters was a good looking young French guy with whom I shamelessly flirted when I could, even though he was not allowed to reciprocate much I still had fun doing it ;)

What bothered me:

I forgot to get a picture of myself in the dress. I ate too many hors d'oeuvres, and they were bread-y. I had sips of wine during the tasting, and a glass of champagne with dinner. Even though I did not get intoxicated at all, I did get a head change that I didn't feel good about. Even though I told myself I might have a glass of wine while I was "not drinking" once in a while, I still felt guilty about it. The dinner was terrible--I ate fried calamari and felt awful after, and had a salmon dish for my entree that tasted gross and I have no idea how a swanky SF restaurant could have fucked that up! :confused: I was also asked by two sales reps I'm friendly with (but don't see often) "whatever happened to" my ex boyfriend? I cheerfully was like, "oh ya know we just didn't work out in the long run" but it made me think of him, and I started to feel sad, especially when I was driving home alone. And I got upset because I didn't WANT the thought of him to affect me in a negative manner--why the hell can't I just be peaceful inside and not bothered when I think of him? :banghead: It's frustrating to be healing yourself, and think that you're over something, and find out that NOT YET you aren't. :nopity:

Also, I agreed to go to a club and see my co-worker's best friend's sister play in her band, and the band was emo, depressing, not talented, boring, and made it so I didn't get home until midnight--therefore I only got 6 hours of sleep when all was said and done, and wasn't able to do yoga. And I was melancholy this morning, and I don't feel centered or very happy today :(
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OH man do I know what you mean.....I still think about an ex, that MEANT a lot to me in those times.....and it's hard to get him completely out, though I have been happy for years, there are always things you miss about individuals....and like you said, a lot of times, it's only when others bring them up or you find someone who so resembles them that it causes you to launch into a whirlwind of thoughts!
...but all in all.....I don't think it's that you aren't healed, it's just the fact that you will always have fond memories of those times, and to go back mentally places you in the feelings of those times.....the PAST...then when thinking of TODAY and the future it passes......BECAUSE that is not what we want NOW or TOMORROW!!!

...I hear ya....and hmmmmmmmm CALAMI YUM!!! Sounds delicious.....!!!

..you know it's funny, that you say that you are blue, cause I've also noticed how when I don't get the full chance to take care of myself and attend to myself and the things I want to do DAILY, I get sad too :(.....so I FEEL ya!!! :grouphug:........

............:cheers2: CHEERS to getting our "CENTER" on!!! ;)
 
Curvie Girlie said:
I went to the beach, got into lotus position, and chanted "Om Ritam Namah" which translates to "My intentions and desires are supported by cosmic intelligence."

This is Law 5 of the S.S.L.Y. and correlates to Thursday (more on this later). I meditated for a bit, then laid into shavasana and relaxed until my alarm went off and I came back to my office.

They're right--don't try to meditate in shavasana or you'll go to sleep instead :) I feel better than I did before. :)
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I LOVE that POSE!!! I do it at home all the time, and I fall asleep sometimes too, because I use yoga not only to center, but it HELP SOOOO MUCH with sore muscles...I love it :beating:....and the LAST POSE....my favorite....!! shavasna!!! There you go....and here I was thinking it was subbatical!!!! :smilielol5:........


....I got my THIRD EYE on you ...........:D
 
Whenever I read your diary I get inspired to try yoga. Honestly, it really doesn't seem like my thing and I probably wouldn't enjoy it at all. But it can't hurt to try! I really might!
It just seems like you have such nice feelings to report after you've been doing yoga. It's inspiring. haha
 
Hey Val :)

It's awesome that you are truly recognizing what makes you happy and what doesn't. You have an awesome routine going and perhaps yesterday was just a reminder of how truly important it is to you and your feeling of well being. You have no problem jumping right back on track. Sorry to hear about the salmon. I hate it when a restaurant fucks up the salmon...

-Sam
 
:hug 2: Thanks Alta you helped me out there!

Alta818 said:
to go back mentally places you in the feelings of those times.....the PAST...then when thinking of TODAY and the future it passes......BECAUSE that is not what we want NOW or TOMORROW!!!
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I'm working hard to be in the present and content with that. I'm sort of there--yoga is also all about that. So it's helping me.


Alta818 said:
...I hear ya....and hmmmmmmmm CALAMI YUM!!! Sounds delicious.....!!!
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It was kind of gross--overfried and the batter wasn't light and crispy, more like chunky and heavy :( I was stupid for eating it anyway, but now I VOW not to eat calamari or any other fried foods unless it's done really well, because it makes me feel AWFUL! :puke:

Alta818 said:
I've also noticed how when I don't get the full chance to take care of myself and attend to myself and the things I want to do DAILY, I get sad too :(.....so I FEEL ya!!! :grouphug:........

............:cheers2: CHEERS to getting our "CENTER" on!!! ;)
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Thanks so much for the empathy! And yes, I'll most likely be back to normal soon, if not after my workout this evening.
 
sunnydee said:
Whenever I read your diary I get inspired to try yoga. Honestly, it really doesn't seem like my thing and I probably wouldn't enjoy it at all. But it can't hurt to try! I really might!
It just seems like you have such nice feelings to report after you've been doing yoga. It's inspiring. haha
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You're hilarious Dee, was wondering where you were!!!:waving:

sammyboy24 said:
It's awesome that you are truly recognizing what makes you happy and what doesn't. You have an awesome routine going and perhaps yesterday was just a reminder of how truly important it is to you and your feeling of well being. You have no problem jumping right back on track. Sorry to hear about the salmon. I hate it when a restaurant fucks up the salmon...
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Thanks Sam! :) I'm trying to CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE EXPERIENCES THAT ARE NOURISHING TO MY MIND, BODY AND SOUL--congruent with the second branch of yoga philosophy, or Niyama ("rules of personal behavior").

Niyama encourages:
1. purity
2. contentment
3. discipline
4. spiritual exploration
5. surrender to the divine

without moral self righteousness. Behind this are:

--To see choices in terms of nourishment vs. toxicity, and acting accordingly.
--Commitment, not resignation, to present moment awareness by relinquishing the need for control, power and approval.
--Embracing transformation as a pathway to higher consciousness.
--Self study by looking within, and finding value and security from connection to spirit rather than dependency on outside influences.
--Surrendering to the wisdom of uncertainty by relinquishing attachment to the past.

Supposedly attention to Nayama in one's practice compliments the asanas and leads to a more balanced, healthy life.

Spiritual evolution ain't easy.
 
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