Curvie Girlie The Diary: Mind Playin' Tricks on Me

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Yeah I would have to agree 2 weeks is nothing... Step and I did the long distance thing for about a year... we only saw each other every 4-6 weeks... sometimes longer... You will get through... and if you get the urge... its easily taken care of *wink wink*

Heh, true enough... but that old song runs through my head... "ain't nothing like the real thing, baby..."

When I was still heavy my libido took a serious nose dive. Now that I'm in a lot better shape... well... :reddevil::reddevil: Let's just say hubby is a lot happier. :reddevil:
 
Now see this is what this forum needs more of:


Female masturbation convos.

Hi curvie! Just sayin hi, I havent logged on in a few days.
 
Well, the funny thing, Phoenyx, is that in HI a few weeks ago I did a Tarot reading on my A. Crowley deck that my best friend bestowed upon me, and I asked, "Will I ever be happy in a romantic relationship?" and the 1rst card, representing me was ---->:biggrinjester: That's right: the fool. And card 3 (crowning me, the goal or destiny) was The Tower *shudder* It's beautiful and appropriate. What I got from it was I have to annihilate my previous concept of what a romantic relationship is to build it back up into absolute truth, not clouted with egoism:

"THE TOWER

Basic Card Symbols

A tower on a rocky outcrop, a powerful bolt of lightning, one or two figures falling from the tower, sometimes waves crashing below.

Basic Tarot Story

As the Fool leaves the throne of the Goat God, he comes upon a Tower, fantastic, magnificent, and familiar. In fact, The Fool, himself, helped build this Tower back when the most important thing to him was making his mark on the world and proving himself better than other men. Inside the Tower, at the top, arrogant men still live, convinced of their rightness. Seeing the Tower again, the Fool feels as if lightning has just flashed across his mind; he thought he'd left that old self behind when he started on this spiritual journey. But he realizes now that he hasn't. He's been seeing himself, like the Tower, like the men inside, as alone and singular and superior, when in fact, he is no such thing. So captured is he by the shock of this insight, that he opens his mouth and releases a SHOUT! And to his astonishment and terror, as if the shout has taken form, a bolt of actual lightning slashes down from the heavens, striking the Tower and sending its residents leaping out into the waters below.

In a moment, it is over. The Tower is rubble, only rocks remaining. Stunned and shaken to the core, the Fool experiences grief, profound fear and disbelief. But also, a strange clarity of vision, as if his inner eye has finally opened. He tore down his resistance to change and sacrifice (Hanged man), then broke free of his fear and preconceptions of death (Death); he dissolved his belief that opposites cannot be merged (Temperance) and shattered the chains of ambition and desire (The Devil). But here and now, he has done what was hardest: destroyed the lies he held about himself. What's left is the bare, absolute truth. On this he can rebuild his soul. "


So yeah, interesting that my card 1 happened to be the Fool. This story sounds0 like an exact metaphor for my heartbreak and subsequent rebuilding of self. What scared me the most was my "immediate future" card was the 9 of Swords, or CRUELTY. I don't know if I like Tarot cards that much ;) So I haven't been doing any readings lately, just been sleeping with them under my pillow. Oh yeah, the last card or outcome of my question "will I ever be happy in a romantic relationship" was the Magus. Which has the affirmation: " My life is everything I make it" and has to do with skill, power, intention, master of the four elements, and the ability to shift events in one's favor. This pleased me :), at least!

Kimberly, I know, this country's censorship is stupid and belittles our level of comfort with the human body. Boo! Why the hell don't we take up the metric system along with the acceptance of breasts in public places? What the feezy! :cuss:

Hi Mamaz2ndBaby! Come by anytime, I'm just here trying to get centered and eventually try to levitate ;)

Pheonyx, MDF and Ed: Yes masturbation is a whole lot of fun. I have my bouts and wanes from it. Lately not so much, but ya never know! Go with it............:D
 
I think all women have their "bouts" with it at one point in our lives or another... it just happens....

Are you having a nice Tuesday Val?? Anything exciting to rant about today?
 
Well, the funny thing, Phoenyx, is that in HI a few weeks ago I did a Tarot reading on my A. Crowley deck that my best friend bestowed upon me, and I asked, "Will I ever be happy in a romantic relationship?" and the 1rst card, representing me was ---->:biggrinjester: That's right: the fool. And card 3 (crowning me, the goal or destiny) was The Tower *shudder* It's beautiful and appropriate. What I got from it was I have to annihilate my previous concept of what a romantic relationship is to build it back up into absolute truth, not clouted with egoism:

"THE TOWER

Basic Card Symbols

A tower on a rocky outcrop, a powerful bolt of lightning, one or two figures falling from the tower, sometimes waves crashing below.

Basic Tarot Story

As the Fool leaves the throne of the Goat God, he comes upon a Tower, fantastic, magnificent, and familiar. In fact, The Fool, himself, helped build this Tower back when the most important thing to him was making his mark on the world and proving himself better than other men. Inside the Tower, at the top, arrogant men still live, convinced of their rightness. Seeing the Tower again, the Fool feels as if lightning has just flashed across his mind; he thought he'd left that old self behind when he started on this spiritual journey. But he realizes now that he hasn't. He's been seeing himself, like the Tower, like the men inside, as alone and singular and superior, when in fact, he is no such thing. So captured is he by the shock of this insight, that he opens his mouth and releases a SHOUT! And to his astonishment and terror, as if the shout has taken form, a bolt of actual lightning slashes down from the heavens, striking the Tower and sending its residents leaping out into the waters below.

In a moment, it is over. The Tower is rubble, only rocks remaining. Stunned and shaken to the core, the Fool experiences grief, profound fear and disbelief. But also, a strange clarity of vision, as if his inner eye has finally opened. He tore down his resistance to change and sacrifice (Hanged man), then broke free of his fear and preconceptions of death (Death); he dissolved his belief that opposites cannot be merged (Temperance) and shattered the chains of ambition and desire (The Devil). But here and now, he has done what was hardest: destroyed the lies he held about himself. What's left is the bare, absolute truth. On this he can rebuild his soul. "


So yeah, interesting that my card 1 happened to be the Fool. This story sounds0 like an exact metaphor for my heartbreak and subsequent rebuilding of self. What scared me the most was my "immediate future" card was the 9 of Swords, or CRUELTY. I don't know if I like Tarot cards that much ;) So I haven't been doing any readings lately, just been sleeping with them under my pillow. Oh yeah, the last card or outcome of my question "will I ever be happy in a romantic relationship" was the Magus. Which has the affirmation: " My life is everything I make it" and has to do with skill, power, intention, master of the four elements, and the ability to shift events in one's favor. This pleased me :), at least!

Kimberly, I know, this country's censorship is stupid and belittles our level of comfort with the human body. Boo! Why the hell don't we take up the metric system along with the acceptance of breasts in public places? What the feezy! :cuss:

Hi Mamaz2ndBaby! Come by anytime, I'm just here trying to get centered and eventually try to levitate ;)

Pheonyx, MDF and Ed: Yes masturbation is a whole lot of fun. I have my bouts and wanes from it. Lately not so much, but ya never know! Go with it............:D
oooooh.....interesting!!! Tarot is interesting.....I don't know though....it's all real powerful.....i'm skurrrrred!!! ;) LOL.....if you know what I mean??!?!!!
 
A nude beach that is mostly full of gay men sounds like a winner to me. I mean, they're not going to be eyeballing me, but I can eyeball them. :smilielol5: And as we all know, most gay men are pretty hot. Take our Sam for instance. :D

I experienced a few topless beaches on continental Europe during my college days. I was always too intimidated to go topless. However, in Europe you don't see the stupid men coming out of the woodwork..lol. They are used to seeing naked boobs, so it's not such a big deal to them.

2 weeks without sex? That's nothing. I've gone months before when H and I were separated by an ocean. Suck it up baby. :smilielol5: pun intended. :smilielol5::smilielol5:


Thank you for the nice compliment Kimberly ;) I'll mail you a check tomorrow, hehe... I'm down for a nude beach full of gay men. I think I could easily handle that. Throw in some women and I don't mind either... :D

As far as the celibacy goes Val, I hear you... Although I do have you beat by quite a bit time wise (way too embarrassing to actually admit)... All I will say is that the basement is full of cobwebs if you catch my drift ;), lol... Patience is definitely a virtue anymore :)

-Sam
 
BASEMENT FULL OF COBWEBS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!​

OMG Thank you so much, Sammy! :smilielol5: Oh geez.....:svengo:

Alta: Someone on here is helping me with the interpretation--and mind you this was before my spiritual evolutionary beginning ;) I'm mustering the courage to do another one soon.....

MDF: Hell yes!

I just edited the filming and made my second "film" ever!!!!! It's my good friends from high school, and it's the Jello Wet T-Shirt Wrestling Match I was talking about!!!! I'm uploading it to Youtube right now! STAY TUNED!!!!
 
Wow

Ok I need to update you all!!!

I AM SUPER CENTERED TODAY!!! :hurray: :Angel_anim: :hug2:

Yesterday: I pranced into the weight room with a huge smile on my face. I was THRILLED to weight train. I'd never been happier walking into the stuffy, stinky weight room with only men that day. The men were commending my efforts at pull ups (I suck, but I TRY to do em. I usually end up in a static half-hold which is actually good if you're a climber! I'm not. Yet....)

I used dumbells for my arms, shoulders, and chest, then rowed a bit, then did 115 lbs barbell squats, then my lower back, abs, side and front and lower, hamstrings, and inner thighs. Basically I was thinking firm arms, high tits, no backfat, nice legs, no love handles, no cellulite. ya can't spot-reduce but you can visualize spot-reduction anyway ;) VISUALIZE, VISUALIZE, VISUALIZE!!!!

Then I showered and went to the Pacific Cultural Center/Ashtanga Yoga Institute. I met up with Lotus and we did an hour and 45 minute session with Michael. It was not very vigorous, BUT it was GOOD and he made us practice breathing exercises where you breathe rapidly and push out your diaphragm, and also where you cover one nostril with your fingers and switch off. Then we meditated. It was EXCELLENT.

I had red curry veggies over brown rice at 9pm though--drove home and said goodnight to Tatiana

(by the way, my old housemate from Moscow, Tatiana called me this weekend. She is between jobs and had no where to go so I took her in. I adore her and am happy to have her at my house. She loves my cat and my cat loves her, and she's a yoga expert and into Auryuvadic medicine, and a pleasure to be around)

and woke up to being 144.0 lbs!! YAY! Down again even after eating a late dinner!

This morning T joined me for am yoga at 6, and she was impressed that I was able to get into Full Lotus that early! So was I! :eek2: Nice! I managed Surya Namaskara A, B, and the Standing Sequence of the Ashtanga Yoga book before making it to work.

I feel Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

And I'm so happy I made a film and FINISHED it....and it's so funny. Oh, the creative energy is FLOWING! Time for lunch! :D
 
OMFG Here it is!

Warning: may not be "SFW"

Synopsis: Freddy is going away to OR to hairdressing school. Lucciana invited a bunch of our high school buddies over for his party (also his birthday a week later) and decides to make 90 packages of Jello so that she and Marna can fight to raise money for Freddy's fund. Before the fight went down, Freddy drunkenly FELL IN the kiddie pool :smilielol5: I tried to get a face off from the girls but Marna was non-compliant. The fight ensues for a few "rounds." Notice that Tim says "Oh God I wish I was straight" during the last round. The last part of my film I threw in some bullshit with me ending that "I'll take 2". The last credits show my film was dedicated to Meghan, our mutual friend who died in 2002 from cancer at age 19, and Jason, Freddy's sister Maria's hubby who died last year of a heart attack. R.I.P.
 
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Funny stuff, but you need much better lighting next time. I think you'll have no trouble finding someone to hold the lights. :biggrinjester:
 
I was aware you couldn't see anything with my little digital camera, which is why I grabbed my flashlight and you can see it on them the whole time. But it does give some privacy to the girls........

I did like the effect of the camera flashes on them. And I'm pissed off the font is all wack in the ending credits--the Windows Movie Maker program is remedial at best--I have little experience with video editing so I basically figured out the program's tools on accident this morning........
 
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Gawd I love these girls! My HOMEGIRLS :D That's what I like--they're cool with it being on Youtube. Nice. Little to no body image problems here--refreshing! :D
 
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Gameplan today:

I'm doing a beginning belly dancing class from 6-7 with Rebekah (never met her), the woman who will be teaching the Sunday class with zills (cymbols) I signed up for, that starts this Sunday. I wanted to get some preliminary skills down first. I have a jingle belt, sexy skimpy top, and a veil with little bells, so I got the gear--I lost my ankle bracelet but I plan on getting another. Now I just need to LEARN the SKILLS :D

I plan on doing Yoga 1-2 Vinyasa with "Delana" at the Ashtanga Institute from 7:30-8:45. Vinyasa just means that we're taught to "link postures with breath to create meditation in motion." This is appealing to me because it's what I've been working on anyway. I've become VERY adept at Ujjayi breathing so that I sync it damn near perfectly with my movements. Before I got serious with this Yoga thing I didn't pay close enough attention to that. It makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD, trust me!

I bruised the bottom of my left foot in 2 places playing at the waterfall Sunday, so it's uncomfortable to walk. So I'll run tomorrow--I don't THINK BD will screw with my foot--it's bruised on the middle-side (not arch) and BD uses the ball of the foot mostly (I think.)

Food: Sprouted wheat bagel with goat cream cheese and fig spread, 2 Kombuchas, green tea, oohlong tea (both with agave), and a hijiki wrap (spinach tortilla with brown rice, cabbage, hijiki seaweed, tofu and tahini sauce). I'm gonna have some cottage cheese for a snack in a minute--the tea really put a cap on my appetite today :)

Randomness: I was Wiki-ing Aleksander Emelianenko, the Russian MMA fighter Aleksander Emelianenko - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, because I was impressed with his tattoos (attached) and realized I'm attracted to him for some reason. I saw him fight James Thompson in the Pride High Octane and was impressed with his poise versus Thompson's frenzy (Aleksander won anyway). He's a Leo, too, and 6'6' 253 lbs! Hahaha, I know he has a wife and all, but I'd imagine sex with him would be exciting and SCARY :reddevil: hahaha, especially since his face isn't particularly nice looking! ;)

Can't help but like huge guys these days for some reason--especially fighters! :D

and yes that IS the Grim Reaper with a baby........
 
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