Oh yes, and another thing. Ahem, I have been haha celibate since 8-31-08.....I believe this is the longest I've gone without sex in......god........um.........hold on a second......I'm pretty sure since I was in the South Pacific, August 2005!!

Oh man!!!!!!!!
It's actually ok, not as bad as I thought. Last night before bed I had a desperate moment and called my Hawaii honey to tell him I missed him and I totally had a (futile) urge to felate him for some reason--to his voicemail. Haha, he left me a voicemail this morning bemoaning the fact that he didn't get to his phone to get my message right then. Other than that I've been fine, being alone.
My LTFB seems to be closer to maybe seeing me soon-ish, due to cryptic texts. I've all but given up on my other excursions. I'm just not into guys that I'm just not that into right now. LTFB and I have a sort of strong connection on a sexual level, though, and I'm interested in exploring that soon, probably after this wackassperiod.

BUT day to day, I'm more interested in improving my skills in yoga, meditation, cleaning up my eating even more, and getting my runs in as well as getting enough sleep. IF I went ahead and went over to LTFB's house I'd be getting barely any sleep, and most likely no yoga save for the Tantric variety

So, for one of the very rare times in my adult life, sleep seems more appealing than sex.
Probably because maybe I've grown soft or something, and don't want to be involved with someone I'm not in love with (??)

I honestly don't know. I was happy to party and kick mad game because it was fun. But all this internal awareness and spiritual transcendence has left left me forgetting all the fun stuff that used to hold precedence in my life, at least forgetting it for most of the day. The COOL thing is: I am HAPPY regardless. And excited to reach new levels of awareness. All love is coming from within--love outside of me is beautiful but is not a priority, it just IS.