Curvie Girlie The Diary: Mind Playin' Tricks on Me

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I absolutely think my celibacy served a purpose as well, although mine was a little over-doing it because time wise it got into the years :eek2: All in all, if it did nothing else it kept me out of trouble and probably spared me lots of drama. Now I feel like I know more what of what I want when it comes to that, what will work and what won't...

-Sam
 
Oh yes, Sam, absolutely!

"Thomas" and I have a good thing going because the intimacy is as good as if we were madly in love, but we're not--we're fond of each other and enjoy about 2 days a week with each other, otherwise we have great times with our friends. Sounds damn near perfect, eh?
 
Oh yes, Sam, absolutely!

"Thomas" and I have a good thing going because the intimacy is as good as if we were madly in love, but we're not--we're fond of each other and enjoy about 2 days a week with each other, otherwise we have great times with our friends. Sounds damn near perfect, eh?

That's about what I've decided I want.... so that sounds perfect to me. I've decided there's no way I'm going to have time for a relationship while I'm in school.... If I were to try it I think I'd be a pretty shitty boyfriend, and I don't want that... I just want someone to play with, or hang out occasionally a couple times per week... We'll see what happens tho.
 
Being single is interesting. It took me many months to get used to it, but as we all know, human beings have a knack for adapting. What screwed me up in the past was intense emotions. So like, a friend could do/not do, or say/not say something, and I'd take it lightly. If a boyfriend caused hurt by one of these things, I'd get upset and confront him, and if he disagreed with my perspective, then drama would ensue. As an independent single person, I learned not to rely on a loved one for certain emotional stability. Lots of married people and smart people in good relationships are hip to this--it took me a while. Still, I've seen some fucked up behavior in my day and am glad I'm not going to be prone to it.

Another cool thing is, since I don't see "Thomas" a lot, I have endless patience. He's nice to begin with, but he IS very stressed out from his job, and last night he was also tired (didn't affect his prowess, though, hahaha) so he said a few things that COULD have had a touchier girl making comments that would cause the situation to spiral into perhaps, a minor tiff. But since I was absolutely happy about helping Chris clean, and watching a cool movie, and having a good day at work, and being so happy that he decided he wants me in his life again, that I said something real cute and started massaging his shoulders, which were hurting him. He was putty in my hands :D
 
Chris "tested" me yesterday. He wants me to "fly" on his high end, real-life-seeming flight simulator, a 747. He asked me if I wanted to see a flight manual, and I was like, Uh Ok sure. I flipped through it and he asked, "what do you think?" and I said, "Well, it's pretty self-explanatory, I mean, I'd need some background for some of the abbreviations, but for the most part, it's very straightforward. Would take me a long time to get through it, though."

Chris was pleased. He said he was testing me because a "normal civilian" would be like "What the fuck is this?" and not even try to understand it. Chris is always complimenting my mental abilities, which is very empowering--of course I'm always reminding him on how amazing he is, because his OCD and depression always get his self esteem down.
 
Ah, I thought it was a more immediate plan. 3-6 more months of that commute, huh? That sucks.

Yes, I don't like burning all that gas. The drive itself doesn't bother me, because I've learned some tricks from Ashtanga Yoga regarding "walking meditation", in this case, "driving meditation." LOL
 
That's cool. Are you going to "fly"?

I don't know how cool I'd be with someone testing me all the time. I tend to get a little defensive about that.
 
HAHA--you silly head :)

Yes I might as well learn how to fly a plane, SHIT, why not? I mean, it can't hurt to have some remedial knowledge. Chris wants me to know "important stuff" like survival stuff and operating guns and planes and sword fighting, etc...
 
The one thing Chris knows nothing about is art history--oh yes and some genres of music. Sometimes I'll reference a famous painting or sculpture and he's like "What?"
 
HAHA--you silly head :)

Yes I might as well learn how to fly a plane, SHIT, why not? I mean, it can't hurt to have some remedial knowledge. Chris wants me to know "important stuff" like survival stuff and operating guns and planes and sword fighting, etc...

Man after my own heart! :biggrinjester:
 
Yeah, well, I tease him for being paranoid all the time, but STILL it is a sort of relief on some level to know that in case ANYTHING happens I can get to him house and know he has food, water, guns, ammo, etc.....LOL!
 
He LOVES that guy--he says he identifies with that character, absolutely. We both were amused by the 50 caliber shot in T2, I think it was.....
 
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