Couch POTATO to "MARATHON" HONEY! :)
- Thread starter Alta818
- Start date
Alta818
New member
Thank you. Your warmth is very appreciated. 
My mom is from Spain. I see you live there.
She is from Burgos. I've never been to that exact city, but I went years ago when I was 15 to Madrid. 
I loved it!It was a gift from my dad for being 15. haha... I always laugh at how they make it (that Birthday year) a little more special than the rest. Puberty? LOL...regardless....it's funny.
But HEY!! I got a trip to SPAIN instead of a party or some other event which I'd probably forget. haha....
Hi, I hope that today isn't going to be quite so bad for you . Expect to be very up and down. You will think that you are feeling better and then bang you'll be right down again but gradually the good times will out weigh the bad. When you start to hit the anger stage then put it to good use and go out there and exercise until you drop
Spain is an amazing place to live. I've been here for nearly 30 years now and love it. I live in Mallorca which is a small, beautiful island in the mediterranean sea. I've never been to Burgos but have been to Madrid but as far as cities go I like Barcelona much more than Madrid. If you ever get back to Spain go and visit Barcelona and then come and check out our lovely island
Spain is an amazing place to live. I've been here for nearly 30 years now and love it. I live in Mallorca which is a small, beautiful island in the mediterranean sea. I've never been to Burgos but have been to Madrid but as far as cities go I like Barcelona much more than Madrid. If you ever get back to Spain go and visit Barcelona and then come and check out our lovely island
Good Morning Alta,
Just thinking of you and thought that I would stop by and check on you, and I see that you have not stopped in yet today, (it is pretty early). Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you, and today is one of many for moving on. Try to have a good day.
Just thinking of you and thought that I would stop by and check on you, and I see that you have not stopped in yet today, (it is pretty early). Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you, and today is one of many for moving on. Try to have a good day.
Alta818
New member
Thank you guys.
It's starting to really hurt more.... he's now texting me and calling me and telling me how sad and lonely and sorry he fucked up, and motivation less he feels. That he is trying to deal with the mess and hates his life without me.
I hate my life without him too.
I have been strong and not responded or answered. He is due to drop off my stationary bike soon, today hopefully while I'm at work, then we have no reason to ever speak again. But we'll see. he doesn't want to because it's the last straw.
I want in my heart to get strong, and be happy, and go out with friends, ....and have him realize that I am wonderful, and that he does want to be my partner for this life time and we can live Happily ever after like it was. It really was so wonderful. We have an amazing bond. I love him so much.
I know that the first month will be hard. I am preparing myself. I feel like crying again. I just want to take him back, but teach him a lesson.
I know we are all human, insatiable by nature. And honestly, I do forgive him. Have I been succummed to tempations myself in the past? Yes. More than once? Yes. Am I going to stand for it now at this point in my life? No. I hope to remain this strong. I hope to yes, one day be with him.
But like everyone says,...maybe there is someone MORE perfect for me. I can only hope.
It's starting to really hurt more.... he's now texting me and calling me and telling me how sad and lonely and sorry he fucked up, and motivation less he feels. That he is trying to deal with the mess and hates his life without me.
I hate my life without him too.
I have been strong and not responded or answered. He is due to drop off my stationary bike soon, today hopefully while I'm at work, then we have no reason to ever speak again. But we'll see. he doesn't want to because it's the last straw.
I want in my heart to get strong, and be happy, and go out with friends, ....and have him realize that I am wonderful, and that he does want to be my partner for this life time and we can live Happily ever after like it was. It really was so wonderful. We have an amazing bond. I love him so much.
I know that the first month will be hard. I am preparing myself. I feel like crying again.
I just want to take him back, but teach him a lesson.I know we are all human, insatiable by nature. And honestly, I do forgive him. Have I been succummed to tempations myself in the past? Yes. More than once? Yes. Am I going to stand for it now at this point in my life? No. I hope to remain this strong. I hope to yes, one day be with him.
But like everyone says,...maybe there is someone MORE perfect for me. I can only hope.
Last edited:
Alta818
New member
I constantly have to come back here and re read my fears list..and the answers that were provided. It's helping.
Gosh...I want things to be like they were so bad. I'm scarred for the future. Scarred for life without him. 5 1/2 years. I know we need space. Space is SCARRY. Fuck. What is helping me is that I'm telling myself that:
All things are passing.
You are just experiencing.
Life is learning.
Love is a gift.
Awareness comes with introspection.
Time will tell.
Love can hurt.
Love is so special.
Unity is amazing.
Unity with yourself.
Only you have the choice.
No one is forcing a decision upon you now.
Day by day.
Moment by moment.
Ride it out.
Think positive.
Think happy.
Think the best you ever.
Think love will come back and fight for you if it's meant to be.
God will show the way.
God has a plan.
Life is a blessing.
Every day is a new day.
Every day will get easier.
Maybe you will realise that it is only your love you want and need.
God is always hugging me.
I am wonderful.
I am worth the fight.
I am worth being treated right.
I learned my karmic lesson.
Treat people as you want to be treated.
Put the shoe on the other side.
Listen to your heart.
Your heart is learning as well.
Loss is a major lesson in life.
Loss can teach strength.
We have the choice of happiness and who we share it with.
Please dear God,...let us be together in a perfect story.
Fuck ...I really really...wish love will conquer all!
... ...again, I feel like crying. I've been better at handling my tears though. And I then quickly shift my mind away... and they go down. Almost making it to my face, but often times remaining in my eyes.
Gosh...I want things to be like they were so bad. I'm scarred for the future. Scarred for life without him. 5 1/2 years. I know we need space. Space is SCARRY. Fuck. What is helping me is that I'm telling myself that:
All things are passing.
You are just experiencing.
Life is learning.
Love is a gift.
Awareness comes with introspection.
Time will tell.
Love can hurt.
Love is so special.
Unity is amazing.
Unity with yourself.
Only you have the choice.
No one is forcing a decision upon you now.
Day by day.
Moment by moment.
Ride it out.
Think positive.
Think happy.
Think the best you ever.
Think love will come back and fight for you if it's meant to be.
God will show the way.
God has a plan.
Life is a blessing.
Every day is a new day.
Every day will get easier.
Maybe you will realise that it is only your love you want and need.
God is always hugging me.
I am wonderful.
I am worth the fight.
I am worth being treated right.
I learned my karmic lesson.
Treat people as you want to be treated.
Put the shoe on the other side.
Listen to your heart.
Your heart is learning as well.
Loss is a major lesson in life.
Loss can teach strength.
We have the choice of happiness and who we share it with.
Please dear God,...let us be together in a perfect story.
Fuck ...I really really...wish love will conquer all
! ...
...again, I feel like crying. I've been better at handling my tears though. And I then quickly shift my mind away... and they go down. Almost making it to my face, but often times remaining in my eyes.
Last edited:
Alta818
New member
Appetitie is GONE. Haven't ate one thing all day. I just don't want to ... Yesterday I forced some bread at night...and other than shots, nada.
I sulked yesterday, read, drank, smoked, layed staring at the wall, listened to reggae all day, watered my plant, observed the shock, curled up in a fetal position ball, cried, came on here, reflected, watched his texts,...and slept.
Today...I was going to go to Karate with my friend and watch her son, but instead..I might go to a business mixer and do what I SHOULD. Progress my business.
I am working partially on Saturday to make up for leaving early yesterday. I told my boss thanks,..and said I could make it up, and that life is treating me real bad right now. He looked sympathetic and then said..."Alright, get it together now." He's right... I'm trying. On the outside today, I've been hiding it real well. I'm able to smile. The moment people leave. I don't.
I just don't want to ... Yesterday I forced some bread at night...and other than shots, nada. I sulked yesterday, read, drank, smoked, layed staring at the wall, listened to reggae all day, watered my plant, observed the shock, curled up in a fetal position ball, cried, came on here, reflected, watched his texts,...and slept.
Today...I was going to go to Karate with my friend and watch her son, but instead..I might go to a business mixer and do what I SHOULD. Progress my business.
I am working partially on Saturday to make up for leaving early yesterday. I told my boss thanks,..and said I could make it up, and that life is treating me real bad right now. He looked sympathetic and then said..."Alright, get it together now."
He's right... I'm trying. On the outside today, I've been hiding it real well. I'm able to smile. The moment people leave. I don't.
Last edited:
ForRealThisTime
New member
Hey Alta, I hid in my bed yesterday after work and slept for hours. I felt drained and like I didnt want to deal with things anymore. I woke up during the night and opened the blinds so that when morning came the sun would wake me up. Well it happened! The sun was shining in my face when I woke up this morning and it is like a new beginning.
Deal with things one day at a time and dont think long term yet.
Deal with things one day at a time and dont think long term yet.
Alta818
New member
I'm BACK!!!!! FUCK YEA!!!!
Last night after talking with my friend for a couple hours, and drinking some bottles of wine. It just really confirmed to me that I AM WORTH FIGHTING FOR. FIGHTING FOR MYSELF!
Honestly, I forgive my bf for the porn online email chat. My true heart knows that he is a great man. Is he like almost every other man out there that loves porn? Yes. Did he have to do it behind my back? No. He didn't. I realized that the big "betrayal" that I felt, was mainly due to being excluded from the fantasy. If you know what I mean?
more like....I'm DOWN for a lot of stuff. TRY ME!
!! But it's things that as a relationship progresses, they are things that have to be touched upon and re evaluated as well. The bedroom has a HUGE factor to play in a relationship, and boredom is HUMAN nature. We are by nature insatiable beings. We will always be able recognize the beauty and attractiveness in another person. It's NATURAL. I know this. If we weren't to be able to,...we 1) wouldn't be human, and 2) wouldn't be able to tell if our own partner was attractive either. So that being said. I'm happy that we are not robbed of the gift of beauty for others.
This is what makes life grand! Challenging! Honestly, I love a challenge. I love to conquer.!!!
On that note though, it did make me realize MORE. It made me realize that this is a gift in disguise. COMFORT is where we were. We were comfortable with each other, the routine of life. The actuality that neither of us were ever really FORCED with SPACE to look and re evaluate if this relationship is what we want to embody our lives for the rest of it. Are your END goals of partnership and community of goals, and dreams EQUAL to mine? Do we align with our desires for each other?
Will I want to be by myself? Will I realize that you for sure are the man I want? Will you realize that YOU as well do not want what we THOUGHT by being together?
At the end of story....Only TIME will tell.
Today: FUCK YEA, I'm worth the fight!!! I'm worth ALL THE LOVE!!! Guess who is gonna fight?! ME!!!!!! I want me FOR LIFE!!! I want my HOT COOCHIE for LIFE!! hahaha!!! (hahah) And I'm going down with a FIGHT FOR MYSELF!!!!
Got home last night and BUSTED ass working out 1 hour-intervals (treadmill, stability ball, bicycle, abs)...and THIS MORNING TOO!!!----1 hour varied workout at 6:45 am- 7:45 am! Tons of sweat! Had a protein shake after and showered and came to work. Feeling WAY more positive about life. Excited to see my client tonight!! Been reading a lot...and ENJOYING!!! Not waiting for anyone OTHER THAN me to fight for me!!! I realize that this IS GOOD ENOUGH! I will then realize if fighting to be together will be what I want. Right now. I want to find this HOT BITCH in me!!!!
Last night after talking with my friend for a couple hours, and drinking some bottles of wine. It just really confirmed to me that I AM WORTH FIGHTING FOR. FIGHTING FOR MYSELF!
Honestly, I forgive my bf for the porn online email chat. My true heart knows that he is a great man. Is he like almost every other man out there that loves porn? Yes. Did he have to do it behind my back? No. He didn't. I realized that the big "betrayal" that I felt, was mainly due to being excluded from the fantasy. If you know what I mean?
more like....I'm DOWN for a lot of stuff. TRY ME!
!! But it's things that as a relationship progresses, they are things that have to be touched upon and re evaluated as well. The bedroom has a HUGE factor to play in a relationship, and boredom is HUMAN nature. We are by nature insatiable beings. We will always be able recognize the beauty and attractiveness in another person. It's NATURAL. I know this. If we weren't to be able to,...we 1) wouldn't be human, and 2) wouldn't be able to tell if our own partner was attractive either. So that being said. I'm happy that we are not robbed of the gift of beauty for others.This is what makes life grand! Challenging! Honestly, I love a challenge. I love to conquer.
!!!On that note though, it did make me realize MORE. It made me realize that this is a gift in disguise. COMFORT is where we were. We were comfortable with each other, the routine of life. The actuality that neither of us were ever really FORCED with SPACE to look and re evaluate if this relationship is what we want to embody our lives for the rest of it. Are your END goals of partnership and community of goals, and dreams EQUAL to mine? Do we align with our desires for each other?
Will I want to be by myself? Will I realize that you for sure are the man I want? Will you realize that YOU as well do not want what we THOUGHT by being together?
At the end of story....Only TIME will tell.
Today: FUCK YEA, I'm worth the fight!!! I'm worth ALL THE LOVE!!! Guess who is gonna fight?! ME!!!!!! I want me FOR LIFE!!! I want my HOT COOCHIE for LIFE!! hahaha
!!! (hahah) And I'm going down with a FIGHT FOR MYSELF!!!!Got home last night and BUSTED ass working out 1 hour-intervals (treadmill, stability ball, bicycle, abs)...and THIS MORNING TOO!!!----1 hour varied workout at 6:45 am- 7:45 am! Tons of sweat! Had a protein shake after and showered and came to work. Feeling WAY more positive about life. Excited to see my client tonight!! Been reading a lot...and ENJOYING!!! Not waiting for anyone OTHER THAN me to fight for me!!! I realize that this IS GOOD ENOUGH! I will then realize if fighting to be together will be what I want. Right now. I want to find this HOT BITCH in me!!!!
Last edited:
Alta818
New member
Awww....
That's what we need to do sometimes. When the rain has passed, the sun will shine!! !! Glad it's shining on YOU today. ME TOO!! !!!
Alta818
New member
Alta818
New member
"Inner peace
can be reached
only when we practice
forgiveness.
Forgiveness
is the letting go of the past,
and is therefore
the means of correcting
our misperceptions.
Gerald G. Jampolsky "Love is letting go of Fear"
"If you attack apparent negativity
with negativity,
you merely feed
and inflame the source.
It's always best
to take the positive
in any conflict.
If you genuinely love,
or at least
send kind thoughts
to a thing,
it will change
before your eyes."
John & Lyn St. Clair Thomas -"Eyes of the Beholder".
can be reached
only when we practice
forgiveness.
Forgiveness
is the letting go of the past,
and is therefore
the means of correcting
our misperceptions.
Gerald G. Jampolsky "Love is letting go of Fear"
"If you attack apparent negativity
with negativity,
you merely feed
and inflame the source.
It's always best
to take the positive
in any conflict.
If you genuinely love,
or at least
send kind thoughts
to a thing,
it will change
before your eyes."
John & Lyn St. Clair Thomas -"Eyes of the Beholder".
Alta818
New member
Observation I wrote in another diary that I want to remember:
I made the same realization years ago when I toured Italy for 2 weeks. The reality is in America, we "LIVE to EAT!" and in other countries, they "Eat to LIVE!"
Huge difference. Dumb down America. The chemicals in crap is insane and what it does to the brain as well. Making us more stupid and less able to think and function at our optimum performance.
In Italy, I loved how they actually only open restaurants at 2 times at max 3 times a day. Breakfast time, lunch time, and dinner time. There are no in betweens, or eat whenever you want. Eating is not viewed upon like here like you said, when you can act on the urge whenever you please. It really is horrible. As well, if you look at the advertisements and the way that they are outlined, it targets our NLP (nuero linguistic programming) by making us more succeptible.
Example: When you see a BIG mac commercial or a Mc Donalds commercial...
Do you see the Big Mac up close or far away? Up close. Right. Things up close are more desirous, because to the mind the concept of bringing it so near consists with desire amongst the fact that the senses are enhanced.
Do you see the Big Mac bright or dark? Bright. Right. Because naturally, subconsciously things that are far and dark are registered and associated with the complete opposite being a non desirous state. The brighter the image, the more the details are enhanced triggering the desire state. The smell is enhanced by the view, the memory of the taste, the sensations again are enhanced by the actual brightness of it. Interesting.
Do you see the Big Mac big or small? BIG. Right. Because the larger and more prominent an image becomes in the subconscious mind, we are again enhancing the laws of association and laws of repetition. Once the mind envisions something with such detail and enhancement of reality as using the senses available to them, smell, taste, sound, feel, sight. It looks SO BIG and JUICY (we now taste it, through memory and or visualization of a resemblent taste), and CRUNCHY (we can now hear the lettuce as we crunch) and bright (so desirous because we can see the sweat on the steak from just grilling) and it feels so SOFT (we see ourselves holding it). The larger the picture, the close we actually can envision ourselves to attaining it. The farther it is, the less desirable and less we can visualize it because visualization that is vivid requires a strong interaction with the entirety of the senses.
Just an observation to add to your theory. We are mentally being Neuro Linguistically Programmed to eat crap. Go figure.
I made the same realization years ago when I toured Italy for 2 weeks. The reality is in America, we "LIVE to EAT!" and in other countries, they "Eat to LIVE!"
Huge difference. Dumb down America. The chemicals in crap is insane and what it does to the brain as well. Making us more stupid and less able to think and function at our optimum performance.
In Italy, I loved how they actually only open restaurants at 2 times at max 3 times a day. Breakfast time, lunch time, and dinner time. There are no in betweens, or eat whenever you want. Eating is not viewed upon like here like you said, when you can act on the urge whenever you please. It really is horrible. As well, if you look at the advertisements and the way that they are outlined, it targets our NLP (nuero linguistic programming) by making us more succeptible.
Example: When you see a BIG mac commercial or a Mc Donalds commercial...
Do you see the Big Mac up close or far away? Up close. Right. Things up close are more desirous, because to the mind the concept of bringing it so near consists with desire amongst the fact that the senses are enhanced.
Do you see the Big Mac bright or dark? Bright. Right. Because naturally, subconsciously things that are far and dark are registered and associated with the complete opposite being a non desirous state. The brighter the image, the more the details are enhanced triggering the desire state. The smell is enhanced by the view, the memory of the taste, the sensations again are enhanced by the actual brightness of it. Interesting.
Do you see the Big Mac big or small? BIG. Right. Because the larger and more prominent an image becomes in the subconscious mind, we are again enhancing the laws of association and laws of repetition. Once the mind envisions something with such detail and enhancement of reality as using the senses available to them, smell, taste, sound, feel, sight. It looks SO BIG and JUICY (we now taste it, through memory and or visualization of a resemblent taste), and CRUNCHY (we can now hear the lettuce as we crunch) and bright (so desirous because we can see the sweat on the steak from just grilling) and it feels so SOFT (we see ourselves holding it). The larger the picture, the close we actually can envision ourselves to attaining it. The farther it is, the less desirable and less we can visualize it because visualization that is vivid requires a strong interaction with the entirety of the senses.
Just an observation to add to your theory. We are mentally being Neuro Linguistically Programmed to eat crap. Go figure.
Last edited:
Alta818
New member
Still fighting for ME!!! Last night, my client had a reschedule for today so I'll be seeing him tonight. I decided to then, just take life Nice & Slow..
I drove myself to Best Buy and bought a Dvd player. I thought it was going to be easy to install but Yea RIGHT!! I'm technically challenged. Maybe I'll give it another go tonight. It just wasn't happening. There are so many plugs (actually just 3 for each side)
but yea...I wanted to do Power Yoga last night but no.
I went to the Market after Best Buy. (Trader Joes) They have the healthy selection of foods,...more expensive? Of course. It's so much cheaper to get FAT than it is to stay HEALTHY. In the long run though, is paying more for your health NOW cheaper than the thousands it's gonna cost to fix your broken ass LATER? YUP! So pay $$$ and be happy.
I bought all kinds of healthy things,..and I bought two sets of PLANTS with pretty FLowers!! I planted them in a pot when I got home. As well I Wined & Dined MYSELF! I made some stuffed (oven) baked salmon, with two small portobello mushrooms stuffed with pizza sauce, tiny bit of cheese, and little tiny salami.
The downfall : CHOCOLATE COVERED ALMONDS IN POWDER COCOA! I killed it there. I was drinking RED wine as well, and listening to music, and cleaning and after I sat down to eat dinner,....BAM...the sweet attack hit. Once I had one, I couldn't stop,....the servings were 12 per serving. I think I had like 24-30 of them. Fuck.
....I then, go my ASS on the Stationary Bike and rode for 30 mins,...(ontop of my 1 hr morning workout yesterday too) and then I did the treadmill for 30 mins, with ab exercises on the stability ball too. I threw in intervals for sweat as well. Other than that,...had a wonderful night ALL with myself. Laughed at the Tv, read some,...and cleaned, and enjoyed planting, and watching NEW LEAVES grow.
...too bad he couldn't be there to enjoy my wonderful dinner. ://
He has been calling me: He called twice yesterday again. Left a message at how sorry he is and how he misses me and that it's been a LONG 4 days already, and that he just wants to hear my voice one minute. As well, he knows it's only been 4 days. PLease call me he said.
He then text me and told me: PLz babe call me. I'm going insane not talking to you. I miss your voice and your laughing with me. I love you. I want to know how your day is going.
I'm in observation mode. As well as taking a lot of responsibility for the things that happened.
For example: I did stop trying less A LOT sexually.
I too took him for granted.
I too rejected his attempts some times.
I too did not keep my body AT TOP shape as it once was.
I too let myself go.
I too did not find myself sexy how could he.
I too stopped believing that I am worth getting hot and heavy with all the time.
I too stopped trying to spice things up like I used to and kept it plain jane.
I too bored myself.
I stopped looking at him like any man,..but as my "same" man.
I lost that spark in my eye sometimes sexually.
I stopped trying all the things I once did.
I did hold resentment at times too for lack of effort.
I did not used to be like this. I did not used to not put effort. That's what went wrong. I too took him for granted. He took me for granted. It's not the porn stuff. It's the not TRYING with each other to re evaluate where the LACK OF TRYING in the bedroom was coming from. Shit can change. But until you make pro active steps to do it. It's not. Simple as that. Now I know what was wrong. I'm taking STEPS right now to FIGHT that shit as we speak. I know I am sexy and she is just WITHIN. I'm pulling her out...FOR MYSELF!!!
45 min. workout this MORNING TOO!!! (bike, treadmill, stability ball, jumping jacks, and weights)-tons of sweat!
bkfst: Smoothie
-1/2 cup (70) plain yogurt (bacteria for belly fat reducing)
-flaxseeds-2 tsps (90) -sends signals to body to start burning fat within 72 hours
-water
-rasberries-1/4 cup-(40) antioxidants-rev metabolism
-2 scoops of protein powder (80) low glycemic
-1/2 banana -(35) superfood
I drove myself to Best Buy and bought a Dvd player. I thought it was going to be easy to install but Yea RIGHT!! I'm technically challenged. Maybe I'll give it another go tonight. It just wasn't happening. There are so many plugs (actually just 3 for each side)
but yea...I wanted to do Power Yoga last night but no.I went to the Market after Best Buy. (Trader Joes) They have the healthy selection of foods,...more expensive? Of course. It's so much cheaper to get FAT than it is to stay HEALTHY. In the long run though, is paying more for your health NOW cheaper than the thousands it's gonna cost to fix your broken ass LATER? YUP! So pay $$$ and be happy.
I bought all kinds of healthy things,..and I bought two sets of PLANTS with pretty FLowers!! I planted them in a pot when I got home. As well I Wined & Dined MYSELF!
I made some stuffed (oven) baked salmon, with two small portobello mushrooms stuffed with pizza sauce, tiny bit of cheese, and little tiny salami.The downfall : CHOCOLATE COVERED ALMONDS IN POWDER COCOA! I killed it there. I was drinking RED wine as well, and listening to music, and cleaning and after I sat down to eat dinner,....BAM...the sweet attack hit. Once I had one, I couldn't stop,....the servings were 12 per serving. I think I had like 24-30 of them. Fuck.
....I then, go my ASS on the Stationary Bike and rode for 30 mins,...(ontop of my 1 hr morning workout yesterday too) and then I did the treadmill for 30 mins, with ab exercises on the stability ball too. I threw in intervals for sweat as well. Other than that,...had a wonderful night ALL with myself. Laughed at the Tv, read some,...and cleaned, and enjoyed planting, and watching NEW LEAVES grow.
...too bad he couldn't be there to enjoy my wonderful dinner. ://
He has been calling me: He called twice yesterday again. Left a message at how sorry he is and how he misses me and that it's been a LONG 4 days already, and that he just wants to hear my voice one minute. As well, he knows it's only been 4 days. PLease call me he said.
He then text me and told me: PLz babe call me. I'm going insane not talking to you. I miss your voice and your laughing with me. I love you. I want to know how your day is going.
I'm in observation mode. As well as taking a lot of responsibility for the things that happened.
For example: I did stop trying less A LOT sexually.
I too took him for granted.
I too rejected his attempts some times.
I too did not keep my body AT TOP shape as it once was.
I too let myself go.
I too did not find myself sexy how could he.
I too stopped believing that I am worth getting hot and heavy with all the time.
I too stopped trying to spice things up like I used to and kept it plain jane.
I too bored myself.
I stopped looking at him like any man,..but as my "same" man.
I lost that spark in my eye sometimes sexually.
I stopped trying all the things I once did.
I did hold resentment at times too for lack of effort.
I did not used to be like this. I did not used to not put effort. That's what went wrong. I too took him for granted. He took me for granted. It's not the porn stuff. It's the not TRYING with each other to re evaluate where the LACK OF TRYING in the bedroom was coming from. Shit can change. But until you make pro active steps to do it. It's not. Simple as that. Now I know what was wrong. I'm taking STEPS right now to FIGHT that shit as we speak. I know I am sexy and she is just WITHIN. I'm pulling her out...FOR MYSELF!!
!45 min. workout this MORNING TOO!!! (bike, treadmill, stability ball, jumping jacks, and weights)-tons of sweat!
bkfst: Smoothie
-1/2 cup (70) plain yogurt (bacteria for belly fat reducing)
-flaxseeds-2 tsps (90) -sends signals to body to start burning fat within 72 hours
-water
-rasberries-1/4 cup-(40) antioxidants-rev metabolism
-2 scoops of protein powder (80) low glycemic
-1/2 banana -(35) superfood
Last edited:
Alta818
New member
Thank you. Every day is a new realization I'm seeing...I admire you. You are such a sensible person. You're not jumping into any big decisions until you have thought things through and are giving yourself time to heal a bit before deciding what you want to do with your life. Good on you
! ! Day by day right?!