Hi ichooselife
... By the way - have you got a 'real' name or at least something more cosy than your tag?
Anyway, perhaps your program is just so big and so long that it's unimaginable?
After all, from start to finish you have 65 kilos to lose! That's more than I weigh now - a whole adult person! Wow! and Double Wow!
So in the scheme of things it's just such a long time to contemplate weighing and measuring and drinking water and - oh! well! that's just overwhelming so may as well give up now!
The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step.
How do we eat an elephant? Mouthful by mouthful.
How do we lose 65 kilos of weight? Sip by sip, day by day, gram by gram.
Have you given yourself any visual goals? Do you have a sense of humour, or are you a serious person? Why have you decided to change your obesity?
If you have a sense of humour, would you consider something like, eg a big picture of an elephant and you cross out or white out bits of the elephant as you 'eat' it, or a large chart on the wall where you can actually mark your progress, or a picture of yourself when you did weigh your ideal weight - decorated with love hearts and ribbons because you love that girl and want to be her again!
Beating yourself up is not good. Going on and off the program is not good. If you 'want' to but keep sabotaging yourself then perhaps a spot of counselling would be helpful and would enable you to make a success of the program rather than seeing yourself 'failing' all the time.
We haven't failed at anything until we give up, but there is no need to make life just so hard for yourself, is there?
While we were putting on weight, we convinced ourselves that it didn't matter.
Well, we didn't matter, did we? So it certainly didn't matter if we were obese or not.
Now, we know it does matter. If we are honest, it is really gross being obese. We hate it. We pretend we don't, but we do. It's awful.
Being slim is wonderful. Being slim does not, however, solve our life's problems. So if we are in a crummy job, or with a crummy partner, or if our children treat us like doormats, or if we think we are worthless, none of that is going to change just because we lose x number of kilos and become slim.
ah, but yes it does!
On the way down, while we are doing our lonely vigil eating our meals at five hour intervals which often means eating alone, we can reflect on the fact that we are all alone, anyway.
We can think that 'joining in' and sharing meals makes us part of the team. But if we really felt 'part of the family/freinds/team' why then did we so often eat alone, secretively, when the family had all gone to bed? Eat in the car when no one can see, eat without sharing, eat alone?
It has very little to do with the food. It has almost nothing to do with the food.
But when we are slim, it can certainly cause us to evaluate the support, caring and encourgement from the nearest and dearest while on the program.
For those who truly love us, they will support us in this and that support will take many forms.
but the most important person, the person whose opinion, love and support we really need and crave the most, comes from us.
We must love ourselves. We must care, support, applaud and be proud of ourselves.
At the end of the day, we are essentially alone and the healthy pride in our own achievments is something many of us never learnt.
So, ichooselife, be proud of yourself.
You have lost 10 kilos. That's a lot of weight. That's eating one foot and up to the fetlock of that elephant. You have started, you are on your way. Give yourself a gold star - by the end of the program you will be festooned with gold stars - one at a time - and you will have eaten the whole darned elephant!
Don't suppose you have a pith helmet around anywhere? If you do, put on your helmut, up on that elephant, turn towards that morning light and cry out 'Hi, Ho, Silver!!!' (yes, of course I know that was the Lone Ranger and he was on a horse, for God's sake, woman, don't quibble the details just go with the flow!)
Move forward, don't look back, take no prisoners.
Look at the calendar. Each week is 2 kilos of that elephant gone. By the end of this week you will be up to it's knee on one leg. Well, you have to start somewhere!
Gee up!
Cheers
Kristine
