Changing the way i feel

AWhere are ya girly?

I am finding it tough getting into a set routine of getting up and out every day. So used to drifting around the house all day doing whatever I fancy its a bit of a shock to my system. We'll get used to it though :)

How did Mario get on when you left him at nursery today? x
 
Aim here girls.Its been a big day,
I took mario to the eye doctor today cause his one eye seems to drift and unfortunatly she told us he has a problem a lazy eye and we have to close his good eye every day for 4 to six hours ....and after a month we must go back to see her.He will need surgery finally she said,but not right away,She wants him to speak so she can ask him what pictures he sees so we can find out how bad the bad eye is,so it is going to take long.My poor baby...thats many hours each day.I dont know how im going to do this.
I keep telling myself that there are sickneses and such worse things that happen to children and i must not be sad,I cant go through this anxiety AGAIN,i hate it,I went through hell months ago when we thought he might need surgery for some thing else but it was nothing finally.
I must try to find the good side of this cause the anxiety is really bad for me,i cant handle it well.
I love him so much,i wish that i could get all the bad stuff in life and not him,i hate it when i think he is sad or in pain or sick.Even when he gets a little tempreture i get crazy and anxious and cant sleep and check 1000000 times.If he snizes i think he is ill,put a little jacket on him.I MUST CALM DOWN.....

so food
Coffee
1 chicknen thigh some tomatoe salad,feta
Dinner we went to a taverna and i had grilled meatball , fries, tzatziki , bread 2 slices.
I was so hungry by dinner.
I had passed SO MANY CANDYS CHOCOLATES PASTRYS...i just wanted to eat.So after the doctors we went to get mario some tracksuits and new shoes and a tool box he wanted,then my husband took us for dinner and it was really nice.I havent been out just us 3 for a long time.

I was 80,7 this morning,dont feel like dancing though.I did in the morning but not anymore now.I weighed at the parmacy it said 80 and also for the first time ever i asked my husband to take pics of me in my undies and bikini,I was looking at the photos and for the FIRST time ever i said out loud to him that i havent just loss weight.I have lost a lot of weight and i look kind of good.
So...
Tommorow we have a b.party to go to,a kids one...so....imagine...its going to be loads of pizza and cake...

Mario loves the school and his teacher said he is the best behaved child in her class!!!!!
 
AO Mommy...I feel so bad for you...your little Mario is so lucky to have you!!!

I hope you find a way to ease your anxiety ....its a long journey this parent hood stuff and its not getting easier I can tell you that.....you are doing all the right this for him....you are trying your best....and you love him .....don't be so hard on yourself.......hugs to you my friend. :grouphug:
 
Athank you tete very much for your kind words.My sister said the same thing toda,it never ends,even growing up is worse,worry about bad company,drugs,if he is safe on bike,car ect,and then if he is happy with his life,girl ect...OMG....how do you survive all the stress?
I tried to put marios new shoes on today but he screamed and took it of.I saw his anckles where sooooo swolen i got such a fright i cryed.The little thing stood there looking at me like "whats happend to mommy?"I think i just kind off collapsed there a second.He has been bitten by a mosquito i think and he has bad spots on his legs.Hes foot was so swolen the shoe didnt fit well.
Maybe its just many things together thats making me so worried about everything,hope i will calm down soon,Tomorow will be our first day that we will be closing his "good" eye.I keep thinking how uncomfortable it is going to be for him.Im complianing and there are such worse things that have happen to children,i feel guilty for feeling so bad.

I had a TERRIBLE day eating.I mean TERRIBLE.
It has been the worst day ever from the start of my diet and to think that is the old days this would be a normal day
BR Coffee and 2 slices bread with cheese
Lunch Mousaka (eggplans ,with meat sause,and besamel(dont know what is called) in the oven,salad a little,1 piece of Starbucks carrot cake with cream cheese icing..................Coffee
At party : about 4 little arabic rolls filled w/cheese chicken and mustard.1 piece of b.cake,4 baby sandwich,
Ok so my tummy is so big,i feel bad and just want to put this day behind.......
I am looking really good , i feel great as far as weight loss and i am going to NOT be bad for a while.
Next party is in January,and end of december.
 
 
A:) The blouse looks almost to big now....and the pants look perfect...well done :hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray:

Loving that your pup looking at you like " I want a bath to mommy!!!" ...lol..your son is so sweet!!!
 
Athanks girls'!:)

Well its 1 pm here so i havent really started eating yet.Im making green beans in the pot with potatoes and fresh tomatoe sause.
Tried to close my sons "good " eye and he cryed so much,i asked if he can see (with the "bad " eye) and he said no....???but then i asked him to show me where the bananas are and the balloon and he showed me so he does see , maybe not very clear.I took it off and said he will have it on in the afternoon when dad comes back...I hope i can manage this...he was crying so much,i didnt know what he felt cause he i not talking,and i went to the bathroom and cryed my eyes out after......
 
AHey sweetie :)

Try not to get so upset hun. Just think 'it's not actually hurting him, it just feels weird' I know he is really young but if your can both stick with this it will help him massively. Maybe think of treats he can have or do when he has done it for the required length and give him so much praise. Also try explaining to him that he has a poorly eye and it needs a rest to get better. You will be amazed what they understand at that age. Try and be strong for him and remeber 'it doesn't hurt'. He will get use to it and so will you.
Chin up sweetie....Lots of love and hugs for both of you. Xx

Oooh and your blouse looks loads looser and really pretty :) And yay :hurray: you did the trousers up. They look great too!!!! Well done sexy!
 
AWow, you are looking so skinny!!! Well done! x

It must be horrible that Mario's so upset bless him :( Maybe you could put a patch over your eye too and get two toy swords and pretend to be pirates? He might be a bit too young to play them sort of games. But thought I would mention it on the off chance. I think the younger a child is when you start using the eye patch, the quicker it improves. I don't envy you though, knowing that he'll have to have surgery. The poor thing.
 
Athanks for the kind words and concern
Well we put the patch on today its not a black patch its like those things we put on when we cut our finger but bigger,special for kids eyes.,He cryed at first but then his dad said that if he keeps it on for as long as we say he will get a huge truck~so that made him happy and after that it was like normal!Im thinking that if it goes like this ill be spending all the money on toys...so ill have to figure out something else!
Now on to food

BR.Coffee 100 cals
Lunch Fresh beans in pot w.fr.tomatoe sause 400 cals + 50 gr feta cheese 130 cals = 530
Snack Diet yoghurt 205 cals coffee 100 cals=305 cals
Dinner 1 hand full of cashews 200 cals
Total 1135

I did 45 minutes on bike and 100 crunches as well
So i did pretty well today
I found a site , a greek forum that people ask questions about food the cals in it and i found lots of answers like greek food , the cals in different food we eat here,i couldnt find in other sites.So i found out cals for dishes i usaully eat plus they explain how many grams a portion is so its great!Thats why im all calorie counting today!!!!!!
Its school tommorow so im off to put mario to bed!Will be on later to check!

Rainbow did you actually use the word SKINNY?????i dream of the day i am skinny!!!!!maybe its the photo,the lighting or something!!!!
 
A80,2.........................:hurray:
getting there

So its still 3:30 pm but im writting down the food for today

BR Coffee (2) ---200 cals +1 big koulouri --250 cals = 450 cals
Lunch 2 egg omellette with a cup of boiled veggies+ 50 gr feta cheese 130 cals=530 cals
Dinner Diet yoghurt 205 cals
Snack Coffee 100 cals

TOTAL 1,285 cals

I havent had dinner and the last coffee yet.
Here is yesterdays beans and todays omellette
I'll Check back tonight for workout!http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/299122/width/350/height/263http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/299123/width/350/height/263
 
Aheya sweetie

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: Well done you!! you will be in the 70's before you know it :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: So so pleased for you hun.

So glad Mario was cool with wearing his patch. Soon he won't even notice it. How's he doing at school?

Your food looks soooooo yummy!!!
 
Ai knoooow im going to be in the 70;s sooon...oh...i have been waitng for this soooooooooooooooooo long!!!!

Well i also did 45 min on bike burnt 5oo and something cals.No crunches today.
I went to the super market and i got this pain in my stomach it was really horrible.I got sweaty and hot suddenly.It felt like cramps,like a burning feeling spreading all over my tummy area.First thought was to grab something to eat , maybe i hadnt eaten enough today just the omellete and the koulouri,since i am up from 7:45 am.Then i thought " nO,its an excuse to eat bad stuff around" so i didnt.The pain went away after about 5 minutes but still all my tummy area wasnt normal.So i made xilopites (sorry dont know the english name) for my husband and son at 7 pm cause they where hungry and i had a plate myself.I did feel bad.Kept thinking that i had already posted my food for the day...and now i had to come bck to ADD.
Well.im thinkng of going tomorow to m*spencers to try on some jeans,My 16 size jeans are to big i cant wear them any more.So maybe ill get in to a 14.Maybe not though ,maybe ive just streched the 16's so much they became a size 18....Dont know , see tommorow.
My father is coming in a couple of days to Greece.He is living for 3 years now in S.Africa for buisness reasons,and he told my husband he is coming for a week , again for buisnes and he is staying with us.We dont have a normal relationship.I only met him when i was 21.I did know him from a baby but he was in and out of our lives all the time,i was shy to be around him,whenever he came.So not exactly a role model.
Im feeling mixed noe hes coming.He has never met my son , since he left for africa while i was pregnant.See how that goes.God,i must tell him there is no smoking in the house....that will be a fun one...its really uncomfortable when he is around.I wish i had a normal dad/daughter relationship with him.Anyway
Sorry for the rambling!
here is what i ate at 7pm its not my photo i googled it.Not the cheese on tophttp://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/299234/width/350/height/263


Forgot to mention Kate he is fine at school.he is a bit moody in the morning when he wakes up but then he is fine,its all day playing and singing!Also he was ok with the patch today.I got him a lightning mcqueen story book and sticker plus a play dough set....it is so not good to do this , i know, i feel so sorry and terrible i think by getting him things it will take his mind off and he will be happy.I know its wrong...its me that has the problem not him............
 
ACongrats on the weight loss....you are going to be in those 70's sooner than later!! Go try on the 14's!! You look way slimmer than me....but I know there are UK verses US sizes..but you look so slim...I am sure the smaller size will fit!!

Sorry about your relationship with your Dad..I bet he will fall head over heels in love with Mario....he is a precious little boy!!
 
Ahey!!!!Thanks rainyforest for checking in!and for the complimets!
Tete!you are right!!!!
After i left mario at school i passed by marks & sp.Went to the jeans and took in the fitting room 5 pairs size 14~They ALL fitted!!!Not big,not tight,just right!I did like the way the black ones looked and a very dark blue as well but i didnt buy any,they where nearly 60 euros a pair.....
While trying them on i was thinking "im going back home to tell the girls!"!!!im so pleased about this.I dont remember actually buying 14 trousers!They where always big cause i do have a bigger bottom than on top.So im really happy about it~~~~~Wanted to get some lovely undies too but they are soooooo expensive
So im home ready to clean up before leaving again.
Thanks you all so much for everything:grouphug:
 
A:hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

YAY!!!!!! That is so cool!!! I'm so so pleased for you sweetie. I bet that felt great!!! Well done you.

Size 14 and on the verge of the 70's!!! You are doing so well sweetie. So so proud of you. Love & hugs Xx
 
AWell done :party: !!!!! SIZE 14!!!!!!! Treat yourself to a nice new set of underwear! Or ask your husband too.

I am really happy that Mario isn't upset about his patch any more :D

It must be horrible having your Dad wandering in and out of your life like that :( I have never met my father, but I guess that is better than knowing someone and missing them. Is he staying in your house?
 
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