Changing the way i feel

jasper1

jasper1

New member
So this is my new diary!!!Expressing my feeilings about my weight and the way it changes my life....in not such a god way....At the end of the diary ...and that is when my goal is reached i wish i feel a lot happier and healthy!

I ve always been a bit overweight from a child.But after giving birth a couple of years ago i reached 110 kg.It was really difficult these two years with a new baby and trying to make it through the day without eating my favourite chocolates and fatty food.Especially because a wasnt workng anymore , i was all day at home.
My best friends (a married couple) always go out for late meals and my husband and i would go along.
This was going on for some time until it clicked...
It was April 30st on a Saturday night.Just a month a ago that is.We arranged on an outting for drinking and dancing the 4 of us(best friends and husband)
It had been a long time that i had gone clubbing!so i was really exited.
Then i eallized that none of my clothes fit anymore!!!WOnder why???(mars bars , twix , double cheese and big macs)I managed to get in to something put my face on and tryed not to get too depressed.
At this big club so many people and i Noticed that my girlfriend had ALL eyes on her even though she was with her husband.Shes the same height as i am 1,70cm but shes so skinny!she weighs 53 kg~~~!!!So i know she always gets compliments from strangers and i never really thought about it cause i love her so much , never felt the need to be better next to her.I was alwas proud that my friend was pretty...but suddenly i felt so bad...i felt like a zero......My husband was not even a bit jealous of me!!!!Well of course not....NOBODY stared or even just looked my way...I know it seems childish but i really did get anoyed
Msde up my mind that the weight is LEAVING FOR GOOD...I started taking care.Working out and YES im satisfied!
May 2nd my weight was 96 kg
May 27 my weight 92,5
So my basic problem is my mind!!!!!playing tricks and me then giving up...
i got the feeling from that night still fresh in me and i recall it everytime i think of cheating...
I so tired of feeling like the looser.Feeling fat.ugly.Clothes not fiting , feeling that im a big blob......
This id my new start to feeling FANTASTIC!!!!!:hurray:
 
Congratulations on starting your journey and on the weight you've already lost! Think everyone has one of those "skinny" friends--Can suck, especially when they get noticed and you get ignored. But a lot of that is to do with confidence, not looks. My best friend is a very big girl and she knows it, loves it and owns it and gets more attention from men than any other girl I know! Got to get the right attitude as well as lose the weight :D

Welcome :)
 
Thanks sunflower!The difference from all other attemps to loose weight is that this time i feel that there is no other way to go.I feel determent.
What you said , that its the attitude is SO real.And its not that i want attention from other men, cause i am with my guy(well we have a child together and live together but not married yet) , its that i want the attention from him.Hes never told me or shown me that my weight bothers him , but i think that loosing all the fat , i will get in a different mood and that will be a huge factor for my life even more for my relationship with him.
I find myself many times trying to avoid activities with him as going to the beach , for walks ect , just because i feel fat and dont want to be out there, with so many eyes.
Actually a thought of mine that night was "is he embaressed of me?" and that really hurts inside.....
 
Went on the scales today , just to see , cause when i woke up my tummy was realy in and i had this lovely feeling!!Felt slim (but really far away from that still)
91,4....another kg gone!!!!Cant wait for Monday to come!monday is my normal scale day!!!
Im feeling really hungry now so ill have some specials Ks.....
Love the feeling today!!!!wonder how ill feel when i reach my goal!!!!
 
So i just finished my workout for the day.
35 minutes stationery bike
20 minutes zumba dvd
Got really sweaty , felt GREAT!!!

I wish i wasnt a smoker....that will be the next thing a will try to acomplish after my weight loss.

I had a really bad yucki lunch....it was supposed to be tasty but i did something wrong...Anyway...
Please excuse my mistakes , i dont live in a english speaking country.
All good for today!!!have a good night to all!!!:biggrinjester:
 
Getting ready to do my new zumba cardio workout...it seems so hard,the moves are complicated....maybe i should find another dvd workout.
 
My mum and uncle just left , they hadnt seen me since my diet started.They didnt seem to notice anything differnet about me.I had to as them if they see something new.My uncle said something about my hair....!!!My mum said "have you lost some weight?"...
Didnt feel so happy after that!Then when my husbsand came down stairs he said he sees some wheight loss from my butt!!!haha!!!where was he looking????
 
amy1985 said:
Just have some fun doing it, who cares if you get it wrong as long as you keep moving?
Click to expand...

hi amy!Yes its about keep moving!Have you seen the instructors?geeeeezzzzz!!!they look fantastic, especially one of the girls with the curly hair!she can really dance!!!
 
I've never tried Zumba, I really should. I live in a flat so there's a limit to how much exercise I can do without annoying my downstairs neighbours. I'd love to do aerobics/ Zumba/ other things from a tape in here.
 
jasper said:
i downloaded it.if you want i can send you the links , whenever you want let me know!
Click to expand...


ok did the 20min.express zumba and 35 on st.bike.It was CRAZY!I got so hot.i had to stop a bit.My child was trying to dance with my!!it was so funny!hes probably thinking in his little mind "whats up with mum???"!!!
Im making a soup , i m really hungry.

The smoking is on my mind.Ive tryed to cut before but failed...I get out of breath so easy, cause of it.Wish i never started it in the first place:smash:
 
i cheated a lot for dinner.i was so hungry,that soup just kept me good for a couple of hours.
I think my dinner was like 700 calories....then i think i havent had a chocolate or any of the BAD stuff for over 2 weeks so its not so bad!
and about 1 hour ago i felt hungry again...STRANGE?so i had a cereal bar low calorie(69 i think)...but again my mind is on food.Whats happening today???:cuss::cuss::cuss::cuss:

I m drinking A lot of water every day, think i ll fill the glass up to fool my tummy....Goodnight!
 
If you feel hungry, you should eat- just find less damaging ways of doing so (I usually have fruit or veg or low cal crackers). Some days I find I get more hungry than others, but if I thought I had to stay hungry on my diet I wouldn't stay on the diet long.

Try drinking a couple of glasses of water. It's not a perfect situation for me, but it does ease it somewhat. Or go find something else to do. Or perhaps have a hot drink- it'll probably be low-ish/ nil calorie, but satisfy your body's desire to put some flavour in your mouth.
 
i wish i had some strawberries or apples, i would be eating them right now,but my fridge is empty i will go shoping tommorow morning!the day is over anyway...hope hunger stops before going to bed.Have you tried sleeping while hungry?:banghead:
 
Not since I was a kid and my parents sent me to bed without dinner, I'm afraid :(

Do you have any peppermint tea, or milk you can warm up? That'll fill your stomach. Or any other low calorie snacks? (I sometimes munch on carrots)
 
amy1985 said:
Not since I was a kid and my parents sent me to bed without dinner, I'm afraid :(

Do you have any peppermint tea, or milk you can warm up? That'll fill your stomach. Or any other low calorie snacks? (I sometimes munch on carrots)
Click to expand...


yupi!!!Carrots i have some and had forgotten!!!they in the last drawer of the fridge , were all the "horrible" foods go!!!thanks for reminding!
 
well i didnt sleep well at all my boy is sick....Went on the scales today 92 kg...so i put a kilo on in a day?i dont think im going to work out i need to clean the house and the sheets from my babys vomit.Having a really bad day alltogether...feeling bloated , think its my high calorie dinner yesterday
 
I think it's two things. One, weight fluctuates day to day (I only measure myself once a week or else I'd go mad)- it depends on things like food intake, salt, water, and sleep, two, if you're measuring in kilos (as I do) it's a bit of all-or-nothing- if you're 91.5 you might think you're 91 and be happy, if you're 91.7 you might think you're 92 and be miserable, if you see what I mean.
 
jasper said:
Getting ready to do my new zumba cardio workout...it seems so hard,the moves are complicated....maybe i should find another dvd workout.
Click to expand...

Nooooo keep going i make my own moves up 50% of the time trying to do what they do but not quite getting it right i LOVE zumba i try to go to a class once a week and i do the same there as long as im doing something and not sat on my bum i know its doing something

Try to weight 1ce a week or 2ce at the very most this is what i really struggle with so i understand why you do it but your weight can change so much every day its not worth the feeling that you get when you dont see the numbers you want on the scales and for me that leads to comfort eating

Good luck this week!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top