Changing the Way I Feel and Eat!!!
- Thread starter jasper1
- Start date
jasper1
New member
Thanks Tete and Rox!!!!I am mad soooo mad that i had a great day calorie wise....well i am way under but its fine , nothing will happen to me and i wont be like this forever but i am goign to be EXTRA strict this week.....
Breakfast 40gr oats with 100ml cold milk and some raisins.
1 bag of mini breaks.
1 coffee 388cals
Snack 1 coffee 70 cals
Late lunch 1 lettuce chopped 1 onion chopped half a cucumber choped with 1 can of tuna fish and balsamic vinegar , little olive oil and salt
Coke zero
Snack for dinner 2 raw carrots, coke zero
We had a great day today.We took Mario to the seaside there is a playground there outdoors and we took his new bike with aswell.He had a lovely time.Our BF's (best friends) came along with their two kids too.Then we went to their home and the kids played more and we came home at 9ish from the early afternoon~
At there home i passed on ice cream and from pasta with cream sause and from takeaway souvlaki!!!!HOW GOOD WAS I TODAY????
I am really wanting to EAT just EAT and stuff my mouth but i am NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I havent had a chance to go run.Yesterday i didnt sit for a minute and today the same since we where out.We have plans for tomorow and for the next day (may 1 st.) i reall dont think i will get the chance to run at all......I really will try though at least tommorow...............
I have a photo of my lettuce salad but cant be bothered to go get my phone right now
Breakfast 40gr oats with 100ml cold milk and some raisins.
1 bag of mini breaks.
1 coffee 388cals
Snack 1 coffee 70 cals
Late lunch 1 lettuce chopped 1 onion chopped half a cucumber choped with 1 can of tuna fish and balsamic vinegar , little olive oil and salt
Coke zero
Snack for dinner 2 raw carrots, coke zero
We had a great day today.We took Mario to the seaside there is a playground there outdoors and we took his new bike with aswell.He had a lovely time.Our BF's (best friends) came along with their two kids too.Then we went to their home and the kids played more and we came home at 9ish from the early afternoon~
At there home i passed on ice cream and from pasta with cream sause and from takeaway souvlaki!!!!HOW GOOD WAS I TODAY????
I am really wanting to EAT just EAT and stuff my mouth but i am NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I havent had a chance to go run.Yesterday i didnt sit for a minute and today the same since we where out.We have plans for tomorow and for the next day (may 1 st.) i reall dont think i will get the chance to run at all......I really will try though at least tommorow...............
I have a photo of my lettuce salad but cant be bothered to go get my phone right now
jasper1
New member
My scales show 79,5 today!!!!!I wasnt goingto to this but i will i have had so many angry faces and disapointment that i deserve dancing faces
79,5
we are going to an huge outdoor feast this evening with our BF's and kids!!It for thecelebration of the 1st of May and i hope to find some nice things to get for myself like a pair ofearings and some cute tshirt for mario,
I will stay away from naughty stuff!!!
I am making lunch chicken with red sause and mashed potatoes for G and mario and boiled chicken breasts for me to make a HUGE lettuce salad and chop some of the chicken in
Be back later~!!!
79,5 we are going to an huge outdoor feast this evening with our BF's and kids!!It for thecelebration of the 1st of May and i hope to find some nice things to get for myself like a pair ofearings and some cute tshirt for mario,
I will stay away from naughty stuff!!!
I am making lunch chicken with red sause and mashed potatoes for G and mario and boiled chicken breasts for me to make a HUGE lettuce salad and chop some of the chicken in
Be back later~!!!
scbibhouse
New member
Hey Jasper,
Congratulation on the weigh-in! I've been meaning to comment on your diary, but just got caught up in other stuff. You go girl!!
Sarah
Congratulation on the weigh-in! I've been meaning to comment on your diary, but just got caught up in other stuff. You go girl!!
Sarah
jasper1
New member
PIThank you sarah for stoping by!!!!
Cate we sure are back in the 70;s!!!!!Feels good doesnt it???
Well i have been away from the forum for some days now.
We were out most of the time we had a good time all these days Mario specially had a blast!
I was ok with food nothing exiting to mention only that
i finally renewed my gym pass and today was day 1~~~~~~~FELT AMAZING TO BE THERE
Well i have to confess something about the treadmill and i know most will think im mental but i AM EXPRESSING WHAT I FELT.OUPS sorry for the capitals
I got to the gym at 9 pm.I started with a 4 minute walk on the tread then speeded it up to a nice running pace.I was jogging (9,5 km per hour the speed was) i continued for 25 minutes.
I stopped cause its my first day my periods came and i felt some pain.Thing is i was wet from sweat BUT not tired.I didnt feel like i did when i jogged at the stadium.I didnt feel i pressured myself to my limits.I didnt feel i had exercised.I didnt FEEL like an athlete!!!!!:biggrin:I honestly felt crap as if i had cheated on my running outdoors with the treadmill.....
I thought i have jogged in the rain , in the FREEZING COLD winter , i even jogged in my wellies once~~~~and i have made it managed the whole 30 minutes fort what????For me to go run on a treadmill????NO way is this happening,,,,even though i saw how many cals i burnt and the km i covered even though my t-shirt was wet i honestly didnt feelgood.....Sounds silly?
Then i went for the machines did some legs stuff and then arm weight felt goooooood to feel the pain in my muscles!!!!!
I think i will NOT run again in the gym i will only warm up with a brisk walk and then try the elliptical and the step to finish of with weights.
I need to make out a schedule now for my exercise days so i can manage to get things in place and in an order!
Just want to say i LOVE working out!!!and most of all i LOVE my running OUTDOORS feeling the weather and the ground beneath my feet.
Cate we sure are back in the 70;s!!!!!Feels good doesnt it???
Well i have been away from the forum for some days now.
We were out most of the time we had a good time all these days Mario specially had a blast!
I was ok with food nothing exiting to mention only that
i finally renewed my gym pass and today was day 1~~~~~~~FELT AMAZING TO BE THERE
Well i have to confess something about the treadmill and i know most will think im mental but i AM EXPRESSING WHAT I FELT.OUPS sorry for the capitals
I got to the gym at 9 pm.I started with a 4 minute walk on the tread then speeded it up to a nice running pace.I was jogging (9,5 km per hour the speed was) i continued for 25 minutes.
I stopped cause its my first day my periods came and i felt some pain.Thing is i was wet from sweat BUT not tired.I didnt feel like i did when i jogged at the stadium.I didnt feel i pressured myself to my limits.I didnt feel i had exercised.I didnt FEEL like an athlete!!!!!:biggrin:I honestly felt crap as if i had cheated on my running outdoors with the treadmill.....
I thought i have jogged in the rain , in the FREEZING COLD winter , i even jogged in my wellies once~~~~and i have made it managed the whole 30 minutes fort what????For me to go run on a treadmill????NO way is this happening,,,,even though i saw how many cals i burnt and the km i covered even though my t-shirt was wet i honestly didnt feelgood.....Sounds silly?
Then i went for the machines did some legs stuff and then arm weight felt goooooood to feel the pain in my muscles!!!!!
I think i will NOT run again in the gym i will only warm up with a brisk walk and then try the elliptical and the step to finish of with weights.
I need to make out a schedule now for my exercise days so i can manage to get things in place and in an order!
Just want to say i LOVE working out!!!and most of all i LOVE my running OUTDOORS feeling the weather and the ground beneath my feet.
Cate
Long term member
Hi Jess. I understood what you meant about running in the gym. I think you have surprised yourself with your new passion for running outside. It is wonderful to see your excitement sweetie!! That is great news that you have joined the gym! JEALOUS!!!! When you start telling us how many calories you burn on that elliptical I will turn green with envy!! Happy for you sweetie. You & I will have to work hard to stay in the 70's but we can do it!! GO TEAM!! Lots of love to you Jess, xoxo Cate
jasper1
New member
Hi!!!
I am SO glad that you understood me , cause i was starting to think that im going a bit funny....:coolgleama:I went to the gym this morning and i did get to do the elliptical for 30 minutes but it didnt burn as much as i know it does and heard it does.For the half hour i did i burnt 170 calories.And that isnt the real ammount i have read that they overestimate the calories on the machines!!!!
Well anyway i did that and then all together 20 minutes of walking.Spent the rest of my time doing weights for arms and legs mostly arms,I am soooo sore.
I spoke to an instructor there and he said that the days i go run to do only 20 minutes of any kind of aerobic training and the days i dont run to do 40 minutes.So i am making a point of going for my run tonight.Missed it so much~~~~!~~~~!!!!~~~!!!!!
ps the instuctor asked how much i weigh and for the first time i wasnt so embaressed i said 79-80 kilos.
Last time i was asked was last year in may by my gynecologist and i remember soclearly i answered 96 kilos..........
Cate it sure is tough but we sure are hanging in there!!!!!!!
I am SO glad that you understood me , cause i was starting to think that im going a bit funny....:coolgleama:I went to the gym this morning and i did get to do the elliptical for 30 minutes but it didnt burn as much as i know it does and heard it does.For the half hour i did i burnt 170 calories.And that isnt the real ammount i have read that they overestimate the calories on the machines!!!!
Well anyway i did that and then all together 20 minutes of walking.Spent the rest of my time doing weights for arms and legs mostly arms,I am soooo sore.
I spoke to an instructor there and he said that the days i go run to do only 20 minutes of any kind of aerobic training and the days i dont run to do 40 minutes.So i am making a point of going for my run tonight.Missed it so much~~~~!~~~~!!!!~~~!!!!!
ps the instuctor asked how much i weigh and for the first time i wasnt so embaressed i said 79-80 kilos.
Last time i was asked was last year in may by my gynecologist and i remember soclearly i answered 96 kilos..........
Cate it sure is tough but we sure are hanging in there!!!!!!!
jasper1
New member
i hope so Cate!
I weighed in today monday cause i was feeling a bit more slimmer and im 80,7kg....Still my periods ane here but ending.I think today is the last day.,
I am really angry seems like things happen all the time for me NOT to work out.
I was going yesterday for my run but before leaving the house i felt nausea?????i sat down and i slept till 8 pm........Then i woke up and i left real quick and guess what the stadium was closed cause of the elections...........Then i didnt have money on me and my car fuel was so low.i went home and just stayed there.
Then today i was planning on running at the stadium (even though i said im not running in the day anymore) and then going to the gym but my husband needed the car and i had to keep mario home(no way to take him to school)...............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ANGRY.................................
I still feel a bit of nausea wonder what it is i hope i dont get sick again i cant stand anymore getting sick.
I weighed in today monday cause i was feeling a bit more slimmer and im 80,7kg....Still my periods ane here but ending.I think today is the last day.,
I am really angry seems like things happen all the time for me NOT to work out.
I was going yesterday for my run but before leaving the house i felt nausea?????i sat down and i slept till 8 pm........Then i woke up and i left real quick and guess what the stadium was closed cause of the elections...........Then i didnt have money on me and my car fuel was so low.i went home and just stayed there.
Then today i was planning on running at the stadium (even though i said im not running in the day anymore) and then going to the gym but my husband needed the car and i had to keep mario home(no way to take him to school)...............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ANGRY.................................
I still feel a bit of nausea wonder what it is i hope i dont get sick again i cant stand anymore getting sick.
katehunibun
New member
AHello my lovely 
First of all i want to say a huge great big thank you for giving me a good kick up the butt!!!! I really needed it. I have been in a pretty bad, stressed headspace for quite a while now and have used that as an excuse to eat badly and you made me realise that i can't go on like that any longer
I am so sorry for being such a crap friend, i have neglected everyone but no longer
I have a lot to catch up on
I totally get what you mean about bad days taking over the good days but we can do this, we just need to push on thru this difficult phase!
Good for you for feeling good about yourself
Actually listing your acheivements is a great idea It really shows you what you have already acheived!! Joining the gym is a great idea. I haven't been for weeks now but i really need to get my butt back there. I'm loving the new positve you
Don't feel guilty for needing to make time to go to the gym. You don't go out drinking or partying every night or anything like that so this is good you time!!!!! You need you time to keep you happy. A happy you means a happier hubby
Oooooh, just read that you renewed your gym pass Right......I am going to go too I can't go tomorrow after work as i have to deliver some party stuff which is a 90 min drive but i am going to go on wednesday, i'm gonna run and do a class!!!!
I know what you mean about feeling cheated on the treadmill at the gym, it is so much better running outside but you can play around with your speed and incline at the gym. Trust me, if you up the speed for a bit until you are really puffed it will make you feel good also incline is really hard too. Give it a go
Thanks again for believing in me and pushing me to get back on track. You are amazing
First of all i want to say a huge great big thank you for giving me a good kick up the butt!!!! I really needed it. I have been in a pretty bad, stressed headspace for quite a while now and have used that as an excuse to eat badly and you made me realise that i can't go on like that any longer
I am so sorry for being such a crap friend, i have neglected everyone but no longer
I have a lot to catch up on
I totally get what you mean about bad days taking over the good days but we can do this, we just need to push on thru this difficult phase!
Good for you for feeling good about yourself
Actually listing your acheivements is a great idea It really shows you what you have already acheived!! Joining the gym is a great idea. I haven't been for weeks now but i really need to get my butt back there. I'm loving the new positve you Don't feel guilty for needing to make time to go to the gym. You don't go out drinking or partying every night or anything like that so this is good you time!!!!! You need you time to keep you happy. A happy you means a happier hubby
Oooooh, just read that you renewed your gym pass
Right......I am going to go too I can't go tomorrow after work as i have to deliver some party stuff which is a 90 min drive but i am going to go on wednesday, i'm gonna run and do a class!!!! I know what you mean about feeling cheated on the treadmill at the gym, it is so much better running outside but you can play around with your speed and incline at the gym. Trust me, if you up the speed for a bit until you are really puffed it will make you feel good also incline is really hard too. Give it a go
Thanks again for believing in me and pushing me to get back on track. You are amazing
jasper1
New member
Kate you havent been a crap friend at all.YOu have stressed really a whole lot over your old job and then with your new one,its totaly understandable that you where absent for some time.I go away aswell many times and close up onmyswelf when things are bad.That doesnt mean you are a bad friend!!!!Its just normal to do so and i must say you are a fabulous friend and also a very motivating one aswell!!!!
I do belive in you , you have proven that you have the will power and you have achieved your goal.Even if you gained a little bit (or even if you gain a lot) it doesnt matter really its weight,it will melt off.Its more about the mentality , the state of mind you get in.Thats unhealthy.Eating only to eat and fill in any gaps,eating to stop feeling unsecure...THAT IS EVIL.
I hope you get back to running i just remmeber how much you loved it and gave us details about how easy or hard it was!
I managed FINALLY to go run today.....!!!!Woohooo!!!!
I did 31 minutes today.It said i was an average of 14km per hour i think that the app isnt working properly.I dont think i was going that fast.I will check for another app in a while to download on my phone.At the gym i was going at 9,5 km i think and today 14????dont think so.So i will check that out and fix it.
ALso i did a few arm weight exercises the gym instructor told me to do.Tommorow i will go to the gym in the morning after leaving mario at nursery.WOOHOO!!!SOmeone is really getting into shape.To bad the scales arent moving down though...I wont stress really iwont....
As food goes 2 days now i have lost my appetite...i swear this is a shock to me!!!
Well remember i said i felt a bit nauseaus (spelling....) yesterday?today i was ok but not 100 percent.maybe its got to do with period.i dont know.
I have had
Coffee and mini breaks
Blackeyes peas with some lemon (as a salad)
A small plate of macaroni with cheese.
Im off to shower in a bit.
Lots of love to all you girls!!!!
I do belive in you , you have proven that you have the will power and you have achieved your goal.Even if you gained a little bit (or even if you gain a lot) it doesnt matter really its weight,it will melt off.Its more about the mentality , the state of mind you get in.Thats unhealthy.Eating only to eat and fill in any gaps,eating to stop feeling unsecure...THAT IS EVIL.
I hope you get back to running i just remmeber how much you loved it and gave us details about how easy or hard it was!
I managed FINALLY to go run today.....!!!!Woohooo!!!!
I did 31 minutes today.It said i was an average of 14km per hour i think that the app isnt working properly.I dont think i was going that fast.I will check for another app in a while to download on my phone.At the gym i was going at 9,5 km i think and today 14????dont think so.So i will check that out and fix it.
ALso i did a few arm weight exercises the gym instructor told me to do.Tommorow i will go to the gym in the morning after leaving mario at nursery.WOOHOO!!!SOmeone is really getting into shape.To bad the scales arent moving down though...I wont stress really iwont....
As food goes 2 days now i have lost my appetite...i swear this is a shock to me!!!
Well remember i said i felt a bit nauseaus (spelling....) yesterday?today i was ok but not 100 percent.maybe its got to do with period.i dont know.
I have had
Coffee and mini breaks
Blackeyes peas with some lemon (as a salad)
A small plate of macaroni with cheese.
Im off to shower in a bit.
Lots of love to all you girls!!!!
Cate
Long term member
Hi Jess, Well done on getting your run in & planning to go to the gym tomorrow. I am LOVING your enthusiasm and encouragement. You're a lovely person & I think that I am lucky to be getting to know you. I can see you starting to see what we see & I think it is wonderful. You & Kate are going to keep me in line I think. I can feel a bit of a challenge happening, but I feel I might get my derriere whipped. Tai Chi & walking etc doesn't quite cut it against running & the gym. LOL. Sending you lots of love xoxo Cate.
jasper1
New member
Goodmorning!!!!
Cate!!!!Tai chi and walking is exercise and no matter how many calories an exercise burns it is a wonderfull thing to be doing...And Lady you FORGOT something very important...GOLF....So maybe you should rethink things a bit!!!!!
I just came back from the gym.
30 minutes elliptical (217 cals)
15 minutes slow walking.
and about 40 minutes on the machines.not the whole 40 minutes though cause i do pause between sets.ALso i did 120 crunches at the gym.
I havent done them ther before i was a little self consious about it but i though today that i really dont care if i dont look very nice to others im getting them done cause i will find an excuse later at home NOT to do them.
Just had my late breakfast.Low fat yoghurt with 2 spoons of oats and little raisins in plus 5 kritsinia i have no idea what they are called.I will goole it later on.
I am stuffed!!!!Feeling very positive!!!!!
I must say i LOVE working out there.Its just not the same as in my home.I also must say again than i love running outdoors so much thanks Kate for getting me started!!!!!
G said he will be back by 8 pm so im going for my run today aswell since tomorow im busy so not going to work out at all.
Be back later!!!!
Cate!!!!Tai chi and walking is exercise and no matter how many calories an exercise burns it is a wonderfull thing to be doing...And Lady you FORGOT something very important...GOLF....So maybe you should rethink things a bit!!!!!
I just came back from the gym.
30 minutes elliptical (217 cals)
15 minutes slow walking.
and about 40 minutes on the machines.not the whole 40 minutes though cause i do pause between sets.ALso i did 120 crunches at the gym.
I havent done them ther before i was a little self consious about it but i though today that i really dont care if i dont look very nice to others im getting them done cause i will find an excuse later at home NOT to do them.
Just had my late breakfast.Low fat yoghurt with 2 spoons of oats and little raisins in plus 5 kritsinia i have no idea what they are called.I will goole it later on.
I am stuffed!!!!Feeling very positive!!!!!
I must say i LOVE working out there.Its just not the same as in my home.I also must say again than i love running outdoors so much thanks Kate for getting me started!!!!!
G said he will be back by 8 pm so im going for my run today aswell since tomorow im busy so not going to work out at all.
Be back later!!!!
jasper1
New member
ok i have huge news i cant explain how i am feeling right now i am shaking....oh please dont judge me bad...
I got a call from a friend of mine,he has gotten married in fall at the city hall and he said he is getting married officially in church on 18th August.
Thing is he is also good friends ith my ex...i have spoken about my ex somewhere...i will find and put up the link...its too much to tell right now...
I havent seen him from the day i broke up with him that is from summer 2007....
I have only now stopped like a month now having dreams and nightmares aswell that involves him.I thought i never got over him.
I do love G please dont get me wrong its just like that chapter of my life never closed properly.
And after all these years of thinking that i might run in to him somewhere and even thinking of scenarios what i would do if i did see him i finally know i Will see him on the 18th of august...
My tummy is all funny right now...I dont know...what shall i do?
My friend he told me that my ex's wife said to him(my friend thats getting married) that if he invites me she and her husband arent coming...............................
My friend (lets call him A.) said that my ex had a huge fight with her telling her "what do you care who A.invites to his wedding?"
so i am thinking also should i go?if i go i am going with G and mario.If G doesnt want to come shall i insist?i dont really want them two to meet,they never have but also i dont want to go alone...
i dont know i am so confused
i'll find that link
if you have time read so you can understand a little....
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/t/49142/changing-the-way-i-feel/140#post_790784
post 152//////////////////////////
ok i just read all that and i am feeling really strange.I feel like crying...i am crying...i dont know why i get like this when it concers something that happened years ago.
First i need to say that if i go or not i am not sure.Will i keep it together?im sure G will understand that i am nervous...i dont want him knowing how i feel.
Second i dont know yet what i should do but i do know that by the 18th of August i am going to look like a bloody super star.if that is the last thing i do i am doing it.The thought that i will be there infront of him after years makes me shake and i WILL NOT look anything less that FABULOUS.I am already much slimmer than what i was was./I think i weighed about 85 kilos then.But i am going to tone up and slim down i will be amazing.At least if i do go i will be satisfied.I have heard that his wife is sooooo jealous of me.And also i know so cause she did text me on FB...ehat a nerve.i dont even know her.I need to cool down now.....
Sorry if im bragging ....belive it or not i came straight on here i didint even call my bfriend yet!i neede to tell you guys!
Sum for the day
30 minutes elliptical 217 cals
25 minutes slow walking
30 minutes run 352 cals
Food
Yoghurt with oats and raisins and 5 kritsini
Blackeyed peas with lemon as cold salad
Lentile soup with some feta cheese and 3 slices of breadfor dinner
3 coffees/
i went for my run and i am sure my other app was off.I was running as usual and it said the new app 9,5 km per hour not 14!!!!!i did 30 minutes ,4,3 km 352 calories.
I think i have had an exelent day workout and food wise.Not very sure i can carry on working out this much.I do feel really great but a little tired.
I am still freaked out about the wedding~I am making these silly senarios and playing them over and over in my mind.....I feel so silly for feeling like this.I feel a thrill my heart beats real fast and my tummy gets into a knot just thinking of that day....The worst thing that could possibly happen to me that day would be to not look good.Cause i know fora fact if he see me looking huge or not nicely dressed he will think "poor jess look at her now..." i know he will think that after him i just took the downside of life.But if i am stuning (i will be) he will know that i am Fine and that he didnt mean much...i didnt die as i told him i would.As he thought i would and as i nearly tried to do once for him.....
Ok i am stopping now.you have 3 months and 10 more days to put up with any hysteria of mine~~~~~
I got a call from a friend of mine,he has gotten married in fall at the city hall and he said he is getting married officially in church on 18th August.
Thing is he is also good friends ith my ex...i have spoken about my ex somewhere...i will find and put up the link...its too much to tell right now...
I havent seen him from the day i broke up with him that is from summer 2007....
I have only now stopped like a month now having dreams and nightmares aswell that involves him.I thought i never got over him.
I do love G please dont get me wrong its just like that chapter of my life never closed properly.
And after all these years of thinking that i might run in to him somewhere and even thinking of scenarios what i would do if i did see him i finally know i Will see him on the 18th of august...
My tummy is all funny right now...I dont know...what shall i do?
My friend he told me that my ex's wife said to him(my friend thats getting married) that if he invites me she and her husband arent coming...............................
My friend (lets call him A.) said that my ex had a huge fight with her telling her "what do you care who A.invites to his wedding?"
so i am thinking also should i go?if i go i am going with G and mario.If G doesnt want to come shall i insist?i dont really want them two to meet,they never have but also i dont want to go alone...
i dont know i am so confused
i'll find that link
if you have time read so you can understand a little....
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/t/49142/changing-the-way-i-feel/140#post_790784
post 152//////////////////////////
ok i just read all that and i am feeling really strange.I feel like crying...i am crying...i dont know why i get like this when it concers something that happened years ago.
First i need to say that if i go or not i am not sure.Will i keep it together?im sure G will understand that i am nervous...i dont want him knowing how i feel.
Second i dont know yet what i should do but i do know that by the 18th of August i am going to look like a bloody super star.if that is the last thing i do i am doing it.The thought that i will be there infront of him after years makes me shake and i WILL NOT look anything less that FABULOUS.I am already much slimmer than what i was was./I think i weighed about 85 kilos then.But i am going to tone up and slim down i will be amazing.At least if i do go i will be satisfied.I have heard that his wife is sooooo jealous of me.And also i know so cause she did text me on FB...ehat a nerve.i dont even know her.I need to cool down now.....
Sorry if im bragging ....belive it or not i came straight on here i didint even call my bfriend yet!i neede to tell you guys!
Sum for the day
30 minutes elliptical 217 cals
25 minutes slow walking
30 minutes run 352 cals
Food
Yoghurt with oats and raisins and 5 kritsini
Blackeyed peas with lemon as cold salad
Lentile soup with some feta cheese and 3 slices of breadfor dinner
3 coffees/
i went for my run and i am sure my other app was off.I was running as usual and it said the new app 9,5 km per hour not 14!!!!!i did 30 minutes ,4,3 km 352 calories.
I think i have had an exelent day workout and food wise.Not very sure i can carry on working out this much.I do feel really great but a little tired.
I am still freaked out about the wedding~I am making these silly senarios and playing them over and over in my mind.....I feel so silly for feeling like this.I feel a thrill my heart beats real fast and my tummy gets into a knot just thinking of that day....The worst thing that could possibly happen to me that day would be to not look good.Cause i know fora fact if he see me looking huge or not nicely dressed he will think "poor jess look at her now..." i know he will think that after him i just took the downside of life.But if i am stuning (i will be) he will know that i am Fine and that he didnt mean much...i didnt die as i told him i would.As he thought i would and as i nearly tried to do once for him.....
Ok i am stopping now.you have 3 months and 10 more days to put up with any hysteria of mine~~~~~
decisionmaker
New member
AHi Jess,
I only just popped in to say hi, but after reading your last post, I TOOOOOTALLY understand. I had an awful situation with my ex, where I saw him for the first time after six years. And again, it was a situation where I KNEW I would see him, like yours. This guy completely screwed me up, and yet as much as I love my life and I love my husband, I don't know if I will ever really get over him. Pretty screwed up, really... But there you go. That's what happens when your first EVER relationship is a five year relationship instead of a quick 'let's hold hands and I'll kiss you on the cheek' kind of innocent relationship.
I found it so difficult to go to this birthday where I knew he would be... and actually I vomited just as I was getting out of the car, I was so stressed. The thing for me, though, similar to you, was that I really wanted to show him how great I was doing and that everything he did to me didn't affect me (lies). I almost did not go inside, but eventually I went (my now-husband, who was my new boyfriend then, came with me. He knew the whole story and was so supportive of me).
It was one of the greatest things I have done, because I kind of just ignored him, but then half way through the night he came and sat next to me for a chat. We talked for a bit about what we were doing with our lives, and then he said he really missed me and would love to be my friend again. That we should organise to catch up properly over coffee. That made me feel so strange... but then I did the best thing - I just said no. I said that I wasn't really interested in being his friend. Then I just got up and went to talk to other people that actually WERE my friends, and left him there at the table alone.
IT FELT SOOO GOOD to be the person to say no.
So of course this situation might not happen to you, but I think no matter what it was a good thing for me. I had spent years being half-worried that I would run into him on the street and just start crying or acting like a complete idiot, but this was a situation where I could control what I would look like and how I would act when I saw him again, so that made it much better. And now, although there are still issues, it is not as big a deal.
I hope this helps you out somehow, lovely. I really feel for you right now! And I love that you are using this as motivation to be FABULOUS! xx
I only just popped in to say hi, but after reading your last post, I TOOOOOTALLY understand. I had an awful situation with my ex, where I saw him for the first time after six years. And again, it was a situation where I KNEW I would see him, like yours. This guy completely screwed me up, and yet as much as I love my life and I love my husband, I don't know if I will ever really get over him. Pretty screwed up, really... But there you go. That's what happens when your first EVER relationship is a five year relationship instead of a quick 'let's hold hands and I'll kiss you on the cheek' kind of innocent relationship.
I found it so difficult to go to this birthday where I knew he would be... and actually I vomited just as I was getting out of the car, I was so stressed. The thing for me, though, similar to you, was that I really wanted to show him how great I was doing and that everything he did to me didn't affect me (lies). I almost did not go inside, but eventually I went (my now-husband, who was my new boyfriend then, came with me. He knew the whole story and was so supportive of me).
It was one of the greatest things I have done, because I kind of just ignored him, but then half way through the night he came and sat next to me for a chat. We talked for a bit about what we were doing with our lives, and then he said he really missed me and would love to be my friend again. That we should organise to catch up properly over coffee. That made me feel so strange... but then I did the best thing - I just said no. I said that I wasn't really interested in being his friend. Then I just got up and went to talk to other people that actually WERE my friends, and left him there at the table alone.
IT FELT SOOO GOOD to be the person to say no.
So of course this situation might not happen to you, but I think no matter what it was a good thing for me. I had spent years being half-worried that I would run into him on the street and just start crying or acting like a complete idiot, but this was a situation where I could control what I would look like and how I would act when I saw him again, so that made it much better. And now, although there are still issues, it is not as big a deal.
I hope this helps you out somehow, lovely. I really feel for you right now! And I love that you are using this as motivation to be FABULOUS! xx
Cate
Long term member
Jess, Joh was able to relate her own personal experience & that is probably more helpful than anything that I can say to you. I read back over your linked post regarding your ex & he sounds like a total bastard & not worth worrying about. Am I right? Well I know logic doesn't apply to our emotions unfortunately so I will try to put it into a different perspective.
Are you worried that you may still "love" him or have strong physical feelings towards him?
If so, are you then worried that G will see that you still have strong feelings towards your ex & be jealous?
Does G know about your ex & what sort of relationship it was?
Does he know about the wedding & that your ex may be there?
If the answer to the first question is a definite NO & you want to go to your friend's wedding then go.
If the answer is NO why wouldn't you want to go with G & Mario as a family, showing your ex that you are fine without him.
If his wife says that they will not go if you do that's not your concern or worry.
If the answer to the first question is YES, then you should spend some time remembering how your relationship with him was & why you are no longer with him. Would you want to be back with him? How did he treat you? Do you want that again? If your current relationship is not perfect or if you are doubting your feelings at all about G then would you ever want to go back to that past relationship, which sounds much worse. You have a whole wonderful life ahead of you sweetie & you deserve to be happy. Work towards either building & improving your life & relationships but look forward, rather than back.
There are people in this world that have us reacting nervously (excited?) for many different reasons. If you are so unsure of your feelings towards your ex then it may be "safer" to avoid him but as Joh experienced, it may be the best way to put him & that part of your past behind you.
Keep doing what you're doing Jess & keep moving towards your personal goals. You don't have to do anything to prove yourself to this ex or to anyone other than yourself. Be fabulous for yourself sweetie. You are the one who counts the most! Lots of love to you Jess, xoxo Cate
Are you worried that you may still "love" him or have strong physical feelings towards him?
If so, are you then worried that G will see that you still have strong feelings towards your ex & be jealous?
Does G know about your ex & what sort of relationship it was?
Does he know about the wedding & that your ex may be there?
If the answer to the first question is a definite NO & you want to go to your friend's wedding then go.
If the answer is NO why wouldn't you want to go with G & Mario as a family, showing your ex that you are fine without him.
If his wife says that they will not go if you do that's not your concern or worry.
If the answer to the first question is YES, then you should spend some time remembering how your relationship with him was & why you are no longer with him. Would you want to be back with him? How did he treat you? Do you want that again? If your current relationship is not perfect or if you are doubting your feelings at all about G then would you ever want to go back to that past relationship, which sounds much worse. You have a whole wonderful life ahead of you sweetie & you deserve to be happy. Work towards either building & improving your life & relationships but look forward, rather than back.
There are people in this world that have us reacting nervously (excited?) for many different reasons. If you are so unsure of your feelings towards your ex then it may be "safer" to avoid him but as Joh experienced, it may be the best way to put him & that part of your past behind you.
Keep doing what you're doing Jess & keep moving towards your personal goals. You don't have to do anything to prove yourself to this ex or to anyone other than yourself. Be fabulous for yourself sweetie. You are the one who counts the most! Lots of love to you Jess, xoxo Cate
katehunibun
New member
AHello my sweet
I can't imagin the emotional turmoil you are going thru and i have no wise words for you except to say
With Joh and Cate. It's lovely that Joh has been there and managed to put a line under it and as always Cate is spot on with her post. She is the wise mum who is always right.
I just wanted to say that i am thinking of you my dear dear friend and we are here for you
I can't imagin the emotional turmoil you are going thru and i have no wise words for you except to say
With Joh and Cate. It's lovely that Joh has been there and managed to put a line under it and as always Cate is spot on with her post. She is the wise mum who is always right. I just wanted to say that i am thinking of you my dear dear friend and we are here for you