Cat's Meow's Diary

Stand At Attention You Boob!

Boam46 said:
:jump: Sometimes it can be soo hard to resist it when its right there. Sometimes my mouth waters a little when my boyfriend is eating something I would really love to next to me. If I told him not to eat it near me he would go somewhere else but I'm not like that.

I saw in Dany's journal you plan on have surgery eventually ... I do too. Probably a tummy tuck and a lift and I am also probably going to need implants to fill me out. I've always been well endowed up there currently a DD/DDD and before I became really heavy I still had a D/DD.
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I just feel like after all of my effort I deserve to have a great rack. :D I started developing fast at about 15 as well as gaining weight so that didn't do my skin any favors. Since my doctor found that lump in my breast a year ago I knew I would need to have some sort of surgery to have it removed. They said its fine to just leave it alone but since I've lost weight my boobs are deflating and the lump is prominent on the side of my right boob. I can feel it without having to press really at all right under my skin. I figure if I'm going to have surgery anyway to remove the lump I might as well do a lift. Implants may be needed to give me that perky volume every girl is after! I wouldn’t say no to a tummy tuck if I needed it as well but I’ll give my skin a chance to catch up.
The lump is called a fibro adenoma and apparently is not that uncommon in women under 30. Something to do with hormone fluctuations, some people are more prone to it than others. It’s not usually painful it’s just a hard rubberyish knot underneath my skin. Now that I can see how it’s distorting the shape of my already not so perfectly shaped boob I want it gone. I want to be at my goal weight before I have anything done though. So I’m hoping to get new boobs for the New Year! It’s something to look forward to I think; a reward.:)
 
I'm with you ... If I'm going to work really hard to lose all of this weight I want to look damn good after! Finding that lump must have been really scary... its great that it turned out to be nothing bad. New boobs are a great reward!
 
Devil Pudding!!

So I gave in to the chocolate craving and had a Jell-O Pudding snack. Dark chocolate... I love dark chocolate. Not too terrible though. I had my tea and crumpet for breakfast, a DanActiv for a snack, Lean Cuisine pepperoni pizza for lunch, a handful of almonds for snack and salmon and asparagus for dinner. Jazzercise is like a sauna with all those women sweating and no air-conditioning. I figure I'm just sweating more pounds off that way. I've made it into the 160's!
This weekend I worked in the yard again, filled up close to 7 huge black trash bags with weeds and vines and other odds from behind the neighbors shed. I found a swim flipper, a sneaker, a basket ball and a golf ball hidden in the weeds in the corner of the yard. What treasures! Sunday was a lazy day. My sister and I did crafts, puffy painting tote bags and tie dyeing t-shirts. My bare feet ended up all colors of the rainbow. :D
Hope everyone enjoyed their Monday!
 
You shouldn't get upset over having one pudding. You've been doing really well... it was just an unexpected treat. You don't need to deprive yourself... you can get sugar free pudding to have around instead for when those cravings get really bad.

Jazzercize sounds fun... must be really really hot though.

Keep going:)
~Jenna
 
I love those Sugar Free Jello Puddings. Of course, I'm a diet coke addict (my family calls it Diet Crack), so I'm used to nutrasweet.

Emily, I was laughing so hard about that bagel comment! It's so outrageous that one bagel equals more than one serving. Criminal, I tell you!

I'm totally in for the surgery idea. Don't know what my boobs will look like in the end, they're pretty pathetic now for a fat chick, but I agree with Jenna -- we put in the effort, we'd better be HOT when we're done!
 
Is It Nap Time Yet?

takingcontrol said:
I'm a diet coke addict (my family calls it Diet Crack), so I'm used to nutrasweet.
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My mother is addicted to Diet Coke as well. She likes it best from McDonalds because they have the fat straws.:)


I had to stuff lunch in my face (leftover salmon and asparagus from last night) I just am not that hungry today. I was starving at midnight last night but I just had my glass of water with lemon and went to sleep.
DanActive and crumpet for breakfast. The DanActives are pretty tasty but small.


I'm really excited about the cruise. I want to wait until the last minute to go shopping to find cute cruise clothes. The scale isn't moving down like it was last month. :mad: I'm disappointed but I have to remember I've made a lot of progress in a short time so far. I keep thinking to myself…'What the hell was wrong with me in the past. This whole exercise and eating right thing isn't that terrible and look how much weight I've lost in just a few short months. I could have been thin by now'…. But the past is the past I can only learn from it and work on my future day by day. I think everyone has their own 'Right Time' for making life changes. My time came this past April when the fiancé moved out. So it's been about 14 weeks and I've lost 40lbs. That’s pretty good I think. I hope to keep up that pace at least for the next month or two.


The Ex is really impressed with my life changes and my new body. Am I doing this to get him back or am I doing this for myself? Is it both? I'm not 100% sure but I'm doing it either way. You get the people that say to you 'If he doesn't love you the way you are then screw him.' But who doesn't want to be with someone they find physically attractive? I know I do so can you blame someone when they fall out of love with you because you don't bother to love yourself enough to take care of your body? :confused:
 
40 lbs in 14 weeks is awesome. Do you measure yourself... you may be losing inches and not noticing it:)

You're doing great with the food. I find that I'm not necessarily hungry when I'm eating but I know that I have to eat through the day so I shove it in. I definitly feel better than when I am starving and binging.

It must be confusing about you and your ex. Hopefully through this journey you'll be able to go through some self-discovery and figure it out.
 
OMG I was starving so I scarfed down my turkey burger and now I have horrible indigestion. I worked so hard during Jazzercise sweat was dripping from my hair on to my neck, even the tops of my hands were sweating. I hurt so good. I need a long shower and a back rub.
The scale still isn't moving. I'm trying to up my calories slowly and space out my meals. I lost about 20 inches since last I measured myself. I'll have to get the sheet out that compares for an official number. I want the scale to at least jump down 2.5lbs so I can reach the July Challenge goal. More later. I need to go take a shower and possibly die…
 
Hey I just wanted to say hello, and you're doing a great job. You're asking the correct questions, and eating healthfully, and I love that idea of satisfying your chocolate craving with a jello snack. That's a great idea! I have the choco cravings and they hit hard man! I'm excited for you to have your cruise as well, it sounds as though you deserve a vacation ;)
 
CatsMeow said:
But who doesn't want to be with someone they find physically attractive? I know I do so can you blame someone when they fall out of love with you because you don't bother to love yourself enough to take care of your body? :confused:
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Good point, although the other side of that coin is, who wants to be with someone whose love is conditional, and is based on whether or not his/her partner is perfect? I guess it is just one of those things...you only know when you...know. I know for me personally, losing weight helps me with my confidence, and that confidence helps me put my relationship in a new light...not to get rid of it, but it changes the dynamic a little, and that can be a good thing. But only you know your situation, so only you can decide what is best for you both...

And plateaus suck SUCK SUCK!!!. Keep going, you will get through it!
 
Maybe Yay?!?

I may have pushed through this plateau by upping my calories this past week. Way upping, doubling almost I think. I haven't been tracking them, just enjoying myself… But the scale said 166 this morning. It may be a fluke but it makes me feel better!:)
 
I've been drinking green tea like it's from the fountain of skinny. The scale is at 170 again.:cry: Official weigh in is tomorrow morning for the July Challange. I'll blame the weight wobble on TOM. I was hoping to be closer to 160 by the end of this month for my cruise. Maybe I won't get there this month but I'll get there soon. I've been pretty distracted lately and I miss posting in my diary as well as in everyone else's. Soo...
HELLO EVERYONE!!:D​
 
CatsMeow said:
I was hoping to be closer to 160 by the end of this month for my cruise. Maybe I won't get there this month but I'll get there soon.
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That's an awesome attitude... Keep it up and the weight will come up.
The cruise has got to be exiciting:)
 
CatsMeow said:
I may have pushed through this plateau by upping my calories this past week. Way upping, doubling almost I think.
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Awesome on the weight loss! 166 is great!! You're just a bag of skittles away from 160, so kudos to you!

Who would've thought that eating MORE calories can help you push past a plateau? Weird, huh? I definitely think my .4 GAIN (eep!) this week had more to do with not eating enough than eating the wrong things -- 'cuz I know I didn't.

Of course, I was talking about that at work and the skinny minnies there were looking at me like "how dare you talk about eating MORE? You are trying to lose weight." They just don't get it.
 
ZOMG Mac & Cheese!!

I want to stuff my face I'm so bored. I'm too bored to even take a nap. I just walked for hours around the grocery store and the mall. My sister made Mac & Cheese and I want it all. I'll kill her for all of it. :boxing: I just bought her the new Harry Potter book and she’s totally into it. She won’t see it coming. I could have the book and cheesy goodness all to myself.

I was able to find a swimsuit that didn't make me look like a sausage, no luck on bras. Sometimes boobs can be disappointing when not airbrushed. :p I was able to find a pair of jeans in a 14 that fit me very well (yay spandex!) but I can't see spending $50+ on something I plan on not fitting me in a few weeks time. I'll try the sale racks tomorrow. I've had enough of shopping. I'm not having issues fitting into tops from the trendy stores, Larges fit me fine. It's when they have those banded arm holes that squeeze my arm fat like a rubber band. :mad:

The scale did jump back from 166 to 168 for my official weigh in Friday morning. A 2 pound loss from last week isn't terrible. In fact I should say it's fantastic but it's not what I was hoping for this month. I'll attempt to lose as much as possible this last week and hope I don't gain it all back on my vacation. We have a lot of physical activities scheduled like scuba and hiking through Mayan ruins so I don't think I will as long as I make good food choices. I do plan on staying away from the 24 hour pizzeria. 8 days on a ship and I plan to leave all my worries behind that week. I will miss my kitties though, and maybe my family. I plan on having a good time in my swimsuit and not caring about what others think about my thighs or my belly. They’re probably worrying about their own cottage cheese asses to even care about mine. I did however get myself a pair of Spanx for underneath my little black dress.

It’s hard to describe how I feel about myself now. I can almost picture how I will look when I’m at my goal weight. I remember what I looked like naked before and I know I look different now but somehow I don’t look different to me or maybe I don’t feel different about how my body looks because I’m still not happy with it. Will I be happy when I’m at my goal weight or will there be something else I can stress about. Anyone get what I’m saying?

Shopping with my ex the other day we were in and out of women’s clothing stores looking for ‘that dress’ and he said that he noticed all of the mannequins had the clothes pinned to them. I said of course. All clothes look great when pinned to perfection. Even the models in the pictures on the wall are pinned and that’s what we women are supposed to aspire to look like. That’s what we’re judged against. He went on to say that that’s not what he expects or even what he wants. He knows models are airbrushed and fake and that no one can look like they do in magazines. He wants me healthy and happy with myself. He says the stretch marks and cellulite don’t bother him. (They bother me, that’s what all those creams are for) It’s nice to hear but we’ll see…

Have I rambled enough for one sitting? I think yes for now. I’ll be back in a bit. Tra la.
 
CatsMeow said:
I want to stuff my face I'm so bored. I'm too bored to even take a nap. I just walked for hours around the grocery store and the mall. My sister made Mac & Cheese and I want it all. I'll kill her for all of it. :boxing: I just bought her the new Harry Potter book and she’s totally into it. She won’t see it coming. I could have the book and cheesy goodness all to myself.

I was able to find a swimsuit that didn't make me look like a sausage, no luck on bras. Sometimes boobs can be disappointing when not airbrushed. :p I was able to find a pair of jeans in a 14 that fit me very well (yay spandex!) but I can't see spending $50+ on something I plan on not fitting me in a few weeks time. I'll try the sale racks tomorrow. I've had enough of shopping. I'm not having issues fitting into tops from the trendy stores, Larges fit me fine. It's when they have those banded arm holes that squeeze my arm fat like a rubber band. :mad:
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I love Mac and Cheese... I've been craving its cheesy goodness a lot recently:)

It is soo difficult to find clothing in stores if you don't have the perfect body... We all don't have the same shape yet all the cloths have the same shape... it is sooooooo frustrating:mad:

Keep doing great and enjoy your vacation while your on it... you deserve to have ag reat vacation!
 
I'm Baaaack!

Happy Birthday to me! Thanks so much, Jenna!:jump:
The world is flat and the cruise ship I was on sailed right over the edge of the earth. Well that’s what I feel like. My vacation was so fantastic it's been so hard getting back into my normal groove. No exercise for 2 weeks has been a killer. Well we did do quite a few physical activities while visiting other countries like kayaking, scuba, and hiking, but I still managed to gain about 5 lbs!:eek: The food was so good. Dessert and cappuccino every night. The view from the room was breathtaking at night with the moon reflecting off of the ocean.
I need a nap.:drooling:
I'll post more later and some pics maybe!
 
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