Cate's Diary

Glad you had such a lovely day out with lots of laughter! And glad you are doing what feels right to you about the other golf ladies. Salmon sounds really yummy. I think I'll pick up some when I go shopping.
 
Hi, Em. Getting the giggles is so good for you, I'm sure. I love salmon with veggies, more than I do with salad. Very nice :)
Hi, M. It really was such a fun day. I don't think I will feel right about myself until I at least attempt to build a bridge with the golfing "ladies". I think that I am too pig-headed about some things. I really do get my knickers in a twist about so many of the things they do. I'm not prepared to run the comp. so I need to learn to chill.
 
Cate said:
I think that I am too pig-headed about some things. I really do get my knickers in a twist about so many of the things they do. I'm not prepared to run the comp. so I need to learn to chill.
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This has been my major life lesson lately. J and my mom have been rather difficult for me to live with, so I am having to see things their way and adjust, even if it means getting blamed for things I didn't do and all that (like with your golf "ladies"). It's been hard but good. I keep remembering what my therapist said, "how people treat you is all about them, not about you." So I don't have to defend myself or even get into the weird energy if I don't choose to. I just have to train myself not to take the bait!

Here's to learning to chill together!!! :)
 
Thanks, Marsia. It is a major life lesson & one I need to learn. "How people treat you is all about them, not about you." Is something I really need to drum into my head. I'm going to practise some deep breathing, especially for Wednesdays.
I wish you lived nearby! I could do with a hug & some encouragement today as I am having a very down day. I have been trying on clothes, without much success. I have been close to tears today. I managed to find a pair of capris in a larger size that will look smart for golf & only a pair of black track pants. I couldn't find any full-length lightweight slacks that fit me & look half nice on.
I am starting IF tomorrow. I feel desperate. I'll try eating only between 12 & 8pm.
 
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: !!! I feel the same way - even though I am learning about it being other people's problem if they treat me weird, I'm so conditioned to take it personally. I think most people are, and it will take a lot of practice!

Deep breathing is so great. We actually do that as one of our singing exercises so we sing from the belly. (And incidentally, one drumming teacher taught K that if you say No from your belly, people take you seriously.)

I wish you lived nearby, too! We could pool resources and make nice low carb foods to share, cheer each other up, and have a good exercise buddy! I always have trouble finding good pants when I look for them. I only find nice ones when I am looking for other clothes. I think it's hard to find pants that fit right and flatter you and are the right thickness for the season, as well. Please don't despair - those pants exist and you will find them while looking for something else!!

I think what is so hard about the last pounds is that it requires us to stay under 1,300 calories a day or exercise like mad to make up for that, stay pretty low carb, and not stress. Well, staying under calories itself can be stressful, and staying very low carb can, too. I think it really requires a special kind of discipline and also a lot of planning, plus plans for if the day didn't go well - what to do to make up for it. We will get there - we just have to keep experimenting with how to do this, and keep starting over if we get side tracked. It's like with meditating, when you get caught up in thoughts, you refocus on breath or nature or whatever, and eventually after doing that some months, it suddenly is a lot easier because you were persistent for months beforehand. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: !!! Things will get better!!!!!
 
:grouphug: I know the feeling. I wasn't even that heavy the last time I bawled my eyes out while looking for pants I'd feel decent in, in my own closet OR a store. I remember going bikini shopping once, >10 years ago, trying on SO MANY bikinis and hating every one. Needless to say what I was really hating wasn´t the bikinis, and I was lighter then than I am now. All the hugs.
 
Petal- the clothes situation is my turning point. I don't think I could feel much more miserable so I have to do something about it. I just set up MYP for IF with my meals as 12-2, 2-5 & 5-8 & to lose a half a kilo a week, which is 1340 cals per day. I just want to see how many calories I consume really, but if IF works for me I may be able to stop counting.
Thanks, LaMa. I am so close to going for a walk & bawling my eyes out. Thanks for the hugs. I am so in need of them. I'll feel better when I manage to get that fat disappearing again. Hopefully, IF will work for me. I'm going to give it a good crack, starting tomorrow morning. You may hear my fat cells crying to be let out all the way over in Vienna!
 
Thanks, LaMa. I did a little gardening instead & felt a bit better. I prepared a bed & am planting Kale & Coriander seeds tomorrow.
It's 8.37 pm & I started my 16 hour fast at 8pm tonight.
Go!
 
Hey Cate, sorry to hear that you are down, hopefully doing something about it will make you feel better. I know it does me.

Men and women probably see clothes differently; in my life I have "out grown"most of the sizes known to men and I know it doesn't feel good.

Big picture I believe you are still well below your weight when you started, and you know how to fix the problem. I am sure you will.
 
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Hi Cate! I think that with the IF, renewed determination, and gardening you are going to do great. The exercise will melt away the blues, too!
 
Thanks, alligatorob. I felt mentally better after deciding to start IF last night at 8 pm. I woke up really hungry, which doesn't happen often & thought that was funny. Then I just read Marsia's diary & read how much success she is having by eating between 8 am & 2 pm & started despairing again. I just could not do that. I was really hoping IF would work well for me & eating between 12 & 8 pm would make a lot of difference, but now I'm not so confident. I'll give it a try, but if I don't lose weight in the next couple of weeks I don't know what I'll do. Thanks for your encouragement, Rob.
Hi, Marsia I'm stunned that you can do 8 am to 2 pm & not eat after that. You are an amazing woman! I really do hope that IF can work with my eating window of 12 to 8 pm. I'll try to have a much bigger meal at lunchtime & eat lightly at night & see how that works for me I think. Wish me luck, hon. I think I need lots of exercise to get rid of the blues, but a weight drop would also help. G is away next week from Monday afternoon until the following Monday morning so I might experiment a little with eating windows. I could stretch them out a bit I think for those days or switch them around & have some lower calorie days.
I also keep thinking about going back out to the golf club & how that will be. I can do this, I can do this........
We are going to do some gardening together again today, which will be good. We're transplanting a lime tree- taking it out of a pot & putting it into the middle of an old water tank which we have as a raised bed. It should get a lot more sun & will like being out of a pot. I would prefer it went into the ground with a fence around it as the limes would be much easier to get at. We're about to have that discussion.......
 
The cold light of morning can be a bit harsh at times but that doesn't mean you can't do this. You're about to start page 666 of your diary (in my view): that must count for something! :grouphug:
 
Hi Cate, I actually eat between 6:15 am and 2 pm (we have to go to school early), so it's the same as what you are planning. I know you can do this as you already have before this!!!!

With the gold club, maybe write down what you would like to say or figure it out in your head in detail, and then practice it with confidence. If you are confident, you won't even need to say what you practiced. It happens to me like this a lot. People can sense if you are there for yourself, and they know they can't throw you off. I am convinced we can read way more body language and subtle cues about each other than people think! And if that doesn't work, picture mini versions of all of us riding on your shoulders cheering you on! :)
 
Oh Cate! I'm sure you can do it - and by selecting the time which works best for you! I think it's quite legit (more than legit! essential!) on a fast to have non-calorie or minimal calorie drinks any time you want one - I swig water like it's going out of style. If you wake up hungry, can you get hot water with a squeeze of lemon to tide you over till eating time? I also make a herbal tea, and drink it any time, sometimes hot, sometimes cold, sometimes with a squeeze of lemon.
Yes, you can do this, you can do this...

And try to not think about the g*** c*** for the rest of the day - and now I see that Marsia has just posted, with almost the exact opposite suggestion - that is, she has suggested thinking about what you will say, rather than putting the whole thing out of your mind - but we are there, along with so many friends here, as she says,
Marsia said:
cheering you on! :)
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Happy day to you and G and the lime tree!
 
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