Cate's Diary

Right now I eat a couple of tangerines everyday and it doesn´t set me off. It always depends on what else I´ve been having. It´s quite possible your body is capable of dealing with quite a bit more than mine and you just have to reduce a bit, given that you say you ingest so much of it. Trying two weeks of very low histamine intake would just make it very clear whether or not it´d be helpful. Besides: if it really does play a role it´ll give your body a chance to recover a bit.
 
I think your grandson is having tantrums because he's not used to having to interact with people because he's spending too much time playing games. All that would set alarm bells ringing for me. Of course he has untapped energy, he's 10! If you can get his dad to sign him up for something active, that would be great Cate. Escapism through computer games is definitely not good for long term development.

My dad just took part in a study for arthritis and they had him taking raspberry leaf extract and he's noticed a massive change. Might be worth trying out.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I will consciously cut down & see what happens. I think cutting way down on the citrus will make a big difference. I have also been having apple cider vinegar in the mornings, so that's a simple one to cut.
Hi, Em. I had decided to talk to our OS about him & offer to take him if there is a sport he would like to play. With the parents being separated it's harder to coordinate. I think he would probably like Taekwondo or something similar.
Re: Arthritis. I had started taking Rose Hip capsules & noticed a marked improvement, but I think the ACV may have cancelled that out. I'll stop the vinegar. & cut down the citrus & see what happens.
Having another day at home :)
 
Only catching up now . Yes sounds like the games are causing lots of your GS problems . Just on board games and card games I know you don't enjoy but my kids have great memories of games with their grandparents . There are some excellent fun games out now . Also they loved whipping granddads ass in poker .
 
Glad you are having a nice time relaxing and being a home body! I really like your idea of taking him to a sport he would like to do, and doing things with him that you enjoy, as well. Grandparents can have that magical relationship where they can get beyond the struggle of the parents trying to subtly mold their child to come out a certain way, and because they have more time to themselves and are hopefully living a less hectic life than the parents, can more easily say, "let's just go enjoy what life has to offer together." I was really lucky that my grandfather took me out to learn to fish when I was young. Though I thought actually catching the fish was rather gross, we had a great time bonding together because he really enjoyed fishing, and it rubbed off on me. I was horrible at steering the boat, but that was part of the fun of it!
 
Hi, LaMa, Petal & Marsia. I had a lovely, productive, but also a relaxing day yesterday, followed by a good night's sleep.
G just had a rant about the golf club. I thought he had stopped, but he's still going. I wish he would go somewhere else! It is not good for him.
We're heading soon for his vets' golf. I have lots of shopping to do today but will mask up.
I'm feeling OK this morning. I have installed a stop sign in my mind whenever I start stressing/worrying during the night. It works fairly well. I mentally say stop & then instantly think of something lovely, like a little blue wren or our little old dog & it seems to work. During the day I can keep busy to distract myself.
 
That's a fantastic exercise Cate. As important as any physical one. I just googled 'little blue wren', they are so lovely. I actually saw one outside our office door the other day.
 
I love the idea of picturing your little dog when you want to feel peaceful. Today I was watching this huge puppy who looked like a boxer mixed with some tall, lanky dog breed, and he was sitting on the ground between his little girl's legs as she sat on a park bench. He was just glowing with happiness and trust just sitting there people-watching with her. I thought about how lovely it would be if adult humans were that happy and content just people-watching like that. Every once in a while though you do see families like that who are just glowing all sitting together.
 
Hi, Em. They are pretty little things & we see them every day. I'll put some pics up soon of the birds we see from our living room.
Hi, Marsia, we could learn a lot from dogs. I picture her curled up asleep in her little sheepskin lined basket.
I just did a big shop & am very shaky & itchy. I have palpitations & just touching my phone is making it go crazy. I have noticed this before when I have had a major reaction.
I'll come back later xo
 
cate said:
I have palpitations & just touching my phone is making it go crazy. I have noticed this before when I have had a major reaction.
Click to expand...
When our bodies are under a lot of stress they do weird things. Try to relax. Drink plenty of water.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I'm really trying to relax & I have drunk lots of water. I had been attempting a 500 cal FD today but ate a banana just after I posted earlier & then some rye crackers & hummus when I got back to the club. The stress is taking its toll, but I'm not stuffing my face with anything unhealthy or drinking wine. Actually, I haven't eaten chocolate or chips for ages! I'll probably try to have a modified FD, which is 800 cals or if that fails a controlled fast is 1200. 800 would be better! Not having any wine helps.
I think I'll give G a haircut now before dinner. He really needs one. So do I. We just discussed it & I'll do it tomorrow after I play golf as it fits in better. My stomach is rumbling like crazy!
For the rest of November, I am going to take my focus right off losing weight & concentrate on doing more of the things that make me feel good. Sounds simple, doesn't it?
xoxo
 
Hi Cate, so sorry to hear you are having a bad reaction. I was going to write to you about anxiety and not ignoring it (because pushing things away tends to intensify them), but now after reading your last entries, I really want to write to you about what I have discovered about it.

There is an idea in psychology called avoidance coping, which means trying to avoid certain thoughts and feelings because you are afraid of what they might trigger. Like maybe someone overeats to avoid feelings of hunger because they are avoiding those bodily sensations that maybe get associated with an uncomfortable psychological feeling of emptiness or loneliness or other things that make the person feel anxious. So maybe food becomes like a companion, and normal hunger gets associated with something to avoid. Other examples - you don't want to think about something stressful because it triggers painful memories from the past, or you don't talk to someone about something that stresses you out to avoid their potential anger or rejection or to avoid an awkward conversation (or with me and my social anxiety, just looking awkward, period)... So you can avoid painful feelings by focusing on something else (eating, or even ruminating too much to try to think one's way out of uncomfortable emotions), or by not doing something (putting things off that you know would be helpful in the long run). These types of coping may be great for when you are in a dangerous situation or in a situation where you just can't relax and process, but in the long run, they are not good coping strategies because they lead to stress and avoiding one's true feelings.

So I think meditation or any form of relaxation exercises like deep breathing, anything where you soften your body and just sit with what you are feeling (without judging the feelings or yourself) are very healing. And the nature of even strong emotions is that once you feel them, they pass. Actually often my hardest to sit with emotions often morph into increased energy or even happiness once I feel them. This doesn't need to be some formal exercise even. It can just be sitting with a cup of tea and relaxing and feeling all the muscles in your body relax and letting whatever feelings come up come out, and just letting them express whatever it is that they need to express. Also you don't need to act on the feelings necessarily unless you see that this would be helpful and you feel like you really want to. It's more about just feeling what you are really feeling. I hope I am making sense!
 
Last edited:
Hi, Marsia. My avoidance strategy is to help me stop going over & over something I cannot change. I have so many feelings & am so reactive. I wish I could build up my resistance to having such strong feelings, without losing my compassion & empathy. I have this tendency to want to fix things all the time. I know that I need to learn some way of relaxing more & worrying less. Tuning out is a form of self-preservation.
Sometimes I have so many emotions happening at the same time that I feel like I could explode (or implode).
I'm about to go out to play golf with the women. I need to not get emotional today. Thanks for your support Marsia, xoxo
Hi, Em. Feelings can be scary. While I don't like being so emotional I also don't want to be uncaring & cold-hearted. I have found I have got closer to people by sharing my feelings, but also feel more vulnerable. Let's hope we both sort ourselves out a bit. We're ok. We just need to find some sort of balance in our lives. I'm glad you are back with your folks for a while. We all need love, xoxo

I am going to do some deep breathing today & not get angry or upset at anything or anyone.
 
Hi Cate, I do that a lot, too, go over things over and over again to figure them out intellectually because there are so many feelings associated with something I feel I will get flooded with them otherwise. When I get so I am spinning my wheels, I sometimes do a lot of physical activity and wear myself out so my head stops ruminating, and also I can just work off some of the frustration. Have you seen Brene Brown's TED talks on shame and vulnerability? They are amazing if you haven't!
 
cate said:
My avoidance strategy is to help me stop going over & over something I cannot change. I have so many feelings & am so reactive. I wish I could build up my resistance to having such strong feelings, without losing my compassion & empathy. I have this tendency to want to fix things all the time. I know that I need to learn some way of relaxing more & worrying less. Tuning out is a form of self-preservation.
Click to expand...
Tuning out for self-preservation works for a little bit but in the long run you´re just suppressing your feelings. What helps me (if I can do it, which is definitely never a guarantee) is to do something, anything, active for a person or cause important to me. Even if it´s one that doesn´t directly relate to the thing that´s really bugging me.
 
Hi Cate I hope you are feeling better today . All great posts above and lots of things to think about . I find it hard to stop thinking about things that bother me . It goes around and around in my head until I feel I am going to implode . I do have a place though in my mind where I go and I'm trying harder now to use that . A bit like you and your precious dog . My place is a shingle beach where I had a most precious memory .
I think we are all leaning so much here . It's not just a weight loss forum imo but a mental health and friendship place for me ❤️
 
cate said:
I am going to do some deep breathing today & not get angry or upset at anything or anyone.
Click to expand...

Maybe the key is to not try to control the day. If you do get angry or upset, that's just the way the day went. It doesn't make you a bad person, it's just another part of life.
 
I also think it's good just to examine the feeling of wanting to fix everything, just sit and look at the repetitive thoughts like you would if you were sitting next to a friend who is going over the same thoughts over and over. Just be friendly to that part and see what it is trying to accomplish and help it to relax a little by listening to what it is hoping for and letting it be heard in a relaxed way where you don't feel you have to act on anything, you can just accept what you are feeling. I also just feel a little of the feelings if they are overwhelming, and that helps to just say, "I will feel the anxiety in my stomach for a couple of minutes and not get sucked into the whole bunch of swirling feelings," or whatever. Anyway, I don't want to write too much about this and hope you'll just take what is useful to you in what I write and ignore the rest!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top