Cate's Diary

Well, I have a whole weekend to do what I like really. I was up early because G had to leave early to head off to play 8-ball. It is going to be such a long day for him. We had a discussion last night about how it feels weird me not going along with him to these things. We have done stuff together for such a long time. We'll both get used to it. He always wants me to go along with him, which is nice. I also quite like having time to myself & will try to make it productive.
I'm not going to mention all the things that happen to me, reaction-wise as I want to be as positive as I can for my own sake as much as anything. G still is not alert enough & will have to learn to be more so.
I made lots of calls yesterday that I had been putting off which felt good. Our garage roller door has not been working for 2 weeks. I rang just before lunch & it was fixed by mid-afternoon! (120 km return trip). I thought we would need a new roller door, but a new motor did the trick well.The guy used a really strong spray on it before he left & G didn't think to either shut my car door or open up the windows in the garage, shut the door from the garage to the house or even to warn me that it was going to happen. I walked down there & was hit by the fumes a whole room away. You could even smell it from about 15 metres outside the house! I should have mentioned it to G beforehand, but I thought it would not be necessary. Another lesson.
Our 2nd car now has 3rd party property insurance & we also both have eye appointments, hopefully with someone who will be FF. Making calls & talking about fragrance sensitivities over the phone is really hard but I just have to do it every time. I'm also going to write out a card to show anyone when I'm out to explain why I am wearing a mask because it is exhausting trying to explain it when just being out with a mask on is really tiring in itself.
Weight- My weight is not moving, but then neither am I really. I feel better though & feel my stomach has shrunk. I am less bloated. I have not had bread or cereal for breakfast for a couple of weeks & will try sticking to that. I have so many healthy options to eat this weekend. G is such a nurturer! I have a home-made chicken & vegetable soup, cooked salmon, avocados, lots of steamed fresh veggies, home-made hummus, raw veggies.....Oh, the choices! I had yoghurt & fruit for breakfast & I'll probably have soup for lunch, maybe fish & veggies for dinner...
OK- I had better go get showered & dressed & stop being such a lazy bones.....
 
It´ll never be perfect, sadly, but watching out for scents will become second nature. For you and very likely for G as well. And your grandkids will grow up to be advocates for people with different needs, if they aren´t already. Doesn´t make being sick worth it, but it´s something. I like the sound of your weekend food bank :D
 
I have had a very healthy eating day but really feel like having something sweet. I may just have one after dinner mint & 1 small piece of Turkish delight. I must stop at that though. Typed in here for my conscience.
 
Hi Cate. I have a question. Now that you are a bit older with grandkids, do you feel that the body struggles you had when you were younger are different? What are you looking for when you undertake a new diet or health regime? I'm asking because I feel like my mother has always wanted to lose weight since she was in her 30s until now (her early 60s) and it's a record that is constantly on repeat. If I ever had a daughter, I would hate to talk about wanting to lose weight to her for 30 years. Parents are so influential, it's crazy. Anyway, just wanted to know your thoughts on it.
 
Cate your food choices sound wonderful. Sorry about the garage fumes . Hope G did well in 8 ball .
Emily I’m ashamed to say I sound like your mum . I have been talking about weight for 30 years .
 
Emilyrose said:
Hi Cate. I have a question. Now that you are a bit older with grandkids, do you feel that the body struggles you had when you were younger are different? What are you looking for when you undertake a new diet or health regime? I'm asking because I feel like my mother has always wanted to lose weight since she was in her 30s until now (her early 60s) and it's a record that is constantly on repeat. If I ever had a daughter, I would hate to talk about wanting to lose weight to her for 30 years. Parents are so influential, it's crazy. Anyway, just wanted to know your thoughts on it.
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The body struggles are no different, Emily. I know a lot more about nutrition than I ever did when I was younger. I don't follow any diet as such & never will again.
If I could turn the clock back I would never have talked about losing weight & would never have gained as much weight as I did, because I now know that all that yo-yo dieting was counter-productive & harmful to my body. If you had a daughter tomorrow, quite possibly you would do the same as your Mum, if you stay unhappy with yourself & your body. Do you think your Mum has a poor self-image & may do with some positivity & encouragement?
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I contributed to our son's poor body image & consequent Bulimia. I still forget & mention that I have put on weight & am trying to lose it. It saddens me that I still do this as it certainly isn't intentional. We are very close & I confide in him about how I feel about a lot of things.
Petal001 said:
Cate your food choices sound wonderful. Sorry about the garage fumes . Hope G did well in 8 ball .
Emily I’m ashamed to say I sound like your mum . I have been talking about weight for 30 years .
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Thanks, Petal. We usually eat very healthy food & rarely eat out. I haven't gone near the garage & got G to park the car outside, in case I decided to go anywhere.

I had that one chocolate & one small piece of Turkish Delight & then had an orange at about 11.30, which put my calories at just over the 1500 new daily limit. I'm being a hermit again this weekend. I was thinking of visiting an elderly friend & also going to a new Providore market, but it's too risky going on my own in case I won't be able to drive myself home. I'll get some more chores I have been putting off done today-ironing, typing up some minutes.... G won't be as late today. He was gone from 7.40 am yesterday until 12.40 am this morning & left again at 7.40 am. He is going to be so tired tonight! I read a book in there yesterday, along with doing quite a bit of housework.
 
cate said:
I was thinking of visiting an elderly friend & also going to a new Providore market, but it's too risky going on my own in case I won't be able to drive myself home.
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That sucks :( I really hope you´ll find a new way to feel secure soon.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I don't suppose I will know how I go until I feel brave enough & confident enough to tackle going to new places on my own, wearing a mask. I'll get there. Meanwhile, I have done everything on my list, bar one thing- writing up minutes. My day was at least productive. Dinner is plated up so G can just sit down when he gets home. We have cooked veggies & will have them with some leg ham & some seeded French mustard. I made G a loaf of rye bread.
I rang my friend, but she was not at home. Hopefully she got taken out to lunch :)
 
Cate
I hope you can feel secure too in the future. I thought of you on Friday as I went into work and and the smell of bleach was overpowering. I do not know what the cleaner was thinking . I admit I like my perfume but I’m just using a little spray now . You have opened up my eyes to such things . My friends son has a severe peanut allergy and I know it took a long time for them to feel secure going out . He carries his epi pen in his sock now as he a young teen and doesn’t like his friends to see it . Bless him .
I have a lot to do this week so must follow your example and get productive again !
 
Thank you, Petal. I just read that out to my husband. You are obviously a very considerate person. Most people are very attached to their perfume, but I am very grateful to the ones who are considering my sensitivities. I love that you thought about me xo Cate
 
Hi Cate. I think I have picked up allergies from reading this diary, haha.

No, but seriously, I am struggling with hayfever bigtime, and on a separate issue, my health is quite poor at the moment, as indicated by my cracked hands and my limp, lifeless hair. I put on some random hand cream I found on my shelf to help with the peeling skin on my hands, have no idea when I acquired it, and I've sneezed about 10 times since I put it on. Agh!!! :D So, I feel I can empathise with you on a minor scale.

Hope you're getting on well the last few days.
 
LaMaria said:
Good morning, Cate! Just dropping in to say hi :grouphug:
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Hi, hon. I'm really good thanks. I just forgot to type in my diary!
Petal001 said:
And hello from me too . Hope you are keeping well . :hurray:
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Hi, Petal. I am, thank you :)
Emilyrose said:
Hi Cate. I think I have picked up allergies from reading this diary, haha.
No, but seriously, I am struggling with hayfever bigtime, and on a separate issue, my health is quite poor at the moment, as indicated by my cracked hands and my limp, lifeless hair. I put on some random hand cream I found on my shelf to help with the peeling skin on my hands, have no idea when I acquired it, and I've sneezed about 10 times since I put it on. Agh!!! :D So, I feel I can empathise with you on a minor scale.
Hope you're getting on well the last few days.
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Hi, Em. That sucks. The funny thing is my hayfever has lessened in that I don't react to natural things as much as I used to. It's like the hayfever switch got turned off & this other chemical thing got turned on. I wish I could reverse that!

Quick report as I have forgotten to-
Wed- I played golf with the women& had a lovely day. The woman with the strong perfume on last time told me beforehand that she had made a point of remembering not to wear perfume, so I made a point of playing with her. We played with one of my favourites. I made a big deal of it & thanked her a couple of times & said how much I appreciated it. I thought her husband must have told her that he saw me in the library on Tuesday with a mask on, but apparently, he hadn't. He had stepped back & given me such a weird look. I don't think they communicate much. I was grateful that she remembered. I had a lovely time afterwards & one of the older women told me how much she misses me when I'm not there & said she was so glad that I was back. I really like her. We share a love of books. She is quite rich & fairly glamorous but has a very poor self-image. She hates looking & being old. That is sad. She's just turned 82, is very slim but is always talking about being fat.

Thursday- G & I had a good day at home. We got a load of wood, pottered about, read, did some housework.......
 
cate said:
She's just turned 82, is very slim but is always talking about being fat.
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That´s sad. What I often see is that older women look at their skin - which naturally gets softer over time - and see it as fat. It´s a reminder that the visual part is so subjective. And what can be learned can maybe be unlearned.
 
It's a lesson for all of us LaMa. She really is skinny, but I didn't want to sound rude. It's awful that her sense of self is so wrapped up in what she feels she has lost, whereas I see a woman who is very smart, both in dress & in brains & she is still out there playing golf at her age. I admire her but feel very sorry that her image of herself is so low. She is not a happy woman & maybe feels a little unloved in her marriage.
I remind myself to look in the mirror & say something nice about myself at least a few times each week.
 
Quick check-in. I am going to play golf with G today in the Sat comp, which is usually only men. It is a 2-person team game which we both like. It will be interesting to see how I am treated today, after an absence of a few months. My attitude this morning is to take it in my stride & not let anything bother me. I need the exercise.
 
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