Cate's Diary

Woke up feeling good this morning, after a mostly nice day yesterday. G's sister visited and we had a nice lunch together & listened to music, chatted for a few hours & had a lovely time.

Last night we went to a golf club meeting, which was a bit annoying. B continues to be a pain in the butt, but I will never let her get to me like she did earlier in the year. Hopefully, she will go off committee next month. I have another year to go & may stay on, rather than quit as G has been talked into staying on committee. He is not going to be captain under any circumstances, so the workload will be greatly reduced. We will not be taking any more rubbish from B. I will be removing G's phone number from the book & the web-site.
I will continue to be bar manager as I quite enjoy doing the bar when it suits me & I do the job well. I know B's husband, who is the treasurer is happy with what I do.

It is a beautiful day today. Spring has Sprung! I'm in town for the day as G has his vet's golf. They are a pretty good bunch. I don't have much to do, except stock the fridges & do some shopping for the bar & some for us. It's a FD(<500 cals). Coffee for breakfast, Peppermint tea for lunch & maybe a cucumber & corned beef & veg for dinner, out to 8-ball (no wine or supper).
 
B wouldn't be the first person to get nasty toward an uninvolved party just because their own partner praised them. I'll be interested to see if the two of you really do manage to reduce your work load ;)
 
I'm a bit envious of you starting spring. The summer here has been relentless and almost every day for the last couple of months has been really hot and humid which really puts a damper on wanting to be active outdoors.

I don't have much to say, just wanted to say hello and check in on you.
 
LaMaria said:
B wouldn't be the first person to get nasty toward an uninvolved party just because their own partner praised them. I'll be interested to see if the two of you really do manage to reduce your work load ;)
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Good points LaMa! I'm sceptical too, unfortunately....... Hopeful, but sceptical......
Mowens1984 said:
I don't have much to say, just wanted to say hello and check in on you.
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Thank you Mowens. That is very sweet of you. I haven't felt like saying much the last few days either. Because my diary is where I truthfully express how I am feeling, I thought it best to not say anything until I am feeling a bit better.
I think the stress of finding out G has cancer & the waiting for an operation date, plus the pressure on me from others about seemingly unimportant things has put me into a bit of a funk. It will pass.
Love to all, xoxo
 
Thank you, brawny. Having a home day & ticking off some things will help. G & I are working towards reducing our workload, but need to get a lot done so that we can! I have ticked off about 6 things already! When we are done we might go fo a walk through the bush, followed by a bottle of wine & feet up. :D
 
Thanks, brawny, LJ & LaMa xoxo
Woke up feeling good today.
When you can't do anything about some things(op date) you can tick off the things that you can do & I'm getting things done.
 
We got heaps done yesterday, including re-doing the Captain's book for whoever is taking over the job from G. I did the cash book for the Vet's, printed up heaps of stuff we needed etc. In there we had a trip to our local town, did some shopping, housework etc.

I'm feeling fairly uptight so am trying not to over-react to things as I know I'm out of sorts. I hate this feeling. I'm going to play golf today with G to hopefully get myself out of it. One of the women just rang me & wants to play too. I get on really well with her. We have lots of laughs & are becoming good friends. The other women aren't sure what to make of her either & we seem to get paired up fairly often, which I think we are both quite happy about. She's a character. Already I feel better about going!
It's funny but the sun just came out as well!
OK- better scoot!
xoxo Cate
 
Thanks, Jen. I am playing the worst golf I have played since I started. I can't explain it really. It's utterly woeful. I enjoy A's company, but not the golf. She has been playing really badly too but does play off 9 more than me. Yesterday she suggested we may be a bad influence on one another. I have played with her for the last month. I suggested we split up next time & see.

I was diagnosed ages ago with Osteoarthritis & have always assumed that there's nothing doctors can do for it, as I can't take any of the NSAID(Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory) family of medicines, because of my Asthma. It has been years and years since I have even mentioned it to a doctor, but it is much worse & I have considerable pain most days. It seems to have got much worse recently. It is time I had a thorough check-up & probably time I saw a specialist. I also think the recent stress is putting pressure on my heart. I was utterly exhausted yesterday playing golf & could barely finish the game. I fell asleep in my chair last night & G said I was "out like a light" for hours. Then I slept another 7 in bed.

A guy we played in a group with yesterday had the same cancer, G has, had the same op etc. It took 4 months after diagnosis for him to get an op date, he got infections & has had a big struggle. He is worried the cancer has spread as he is getting pain in his back & elsewhere. He is fairly over-weight & that may be the reason. It's a worry though! 4 months from G's diagnosis would be around Christmas! Maybe G's Oncologist has no idea about how long it will take the hospital to slot him in :( I might ring the oncologist tomorrow & ask if it's possible to have G put on the urgent list, rather than semi-urgent. I'll think about that. I will book myself in to see the new female doctor in town & organise a check-up. Our doctors change all the time, but she looks like she may stay. The practice brings in Sri Lankan doctors mostly & the ones I have seen are lovely, but move on somewhere else after a couple of years & then you feel you have to start over again a new one & so on. This new woman doctor I saw once & she was lovely. Her adult children love the area & she has bought a house in the town. That has to be a good sign that she may stick around.

Time to move, xoxo

G & I are going to go cut down some pesky little wattles today & get outside & get some fresh air & exercise.

 
Thanks, LaMa. I am capable of compartmentalising some things & just not thinking about them, but I just can't do it with this. It's not only the fact that G has Cancer, which is causing my brain (& body?) a lot of anxiety, but it is also Mum's "wake" & the pressure that is on me from my extended family. The wake was organised, by me, before G was diagnosed, & the date set is Nov 22nd. I have had to point out to them that I didn't choose this to happen. My brother said to me that "You might just have to go without him" to which I replied, "So if S (his wife) had an operation for Cancer & was struggling afterwards, you would just go away & leave her at home on her own?"
We really have no idea a) when this op is going to happen, b) how G will be afterwards.
I have told everyone that they can go ahead with their plans for the wake & that it's not compulsory for me to be there, but the silence is deafening. I have a private FB group, that includes all of them, but the only one to say anything at all was my cousin's widow, who I have never met who said that we have to do what's right for G & not to worry about everyone else. I am really hoping we can go ahead with this wake as I really want to meet her in person. I'm sure, after an hour's phone conversation that we will get along well.
My sister, on the other hand, is freaking out about the whole thing. She can't contemplate the thought of having the wake without me being there. She is dreading having to attempt being a hostess of any kind. I understand, but..... :svengo:

I hate uncertainty, but there's little we can do.
It's a beautiful day here. There is hardly a cloud in the sky. I'm trying a fast day today & then maybe Thursday, instead of my usual Tuesday/Frid or Sat. Playing golf the day after a FD is not such a good idea. I made a FD soup yesterday, with vegetable stock(our own), some curry sauce(excess from a chicken curry G cooked), celery, zucchini, spring onion, fresh mushrooms, spinach & snow peas. I have had a small bowl for breakfast& will add some Konjac noodles to the rest for lunch & dinner. I think I found it easier last Summer when I had a really low-calorie soup to have whenever I got peckish during the day. I also usually do a FD when I'm not at home & I think that's even harder.
I will probably have a couple of boiled eggs during the day as well & maybe some yoghurt & fruit after "dinner".
 
I think the simplest way to handle it is not to mention it anymore until a) G´s had surgery, b) you know how he´s feeling and c) everyone´s cooled off a bit. They have no right to your presence or your work power. You and I and everyone who matters knows you´ll be at the wake if you can. If you can´t? Tell everyone a week beforehand and don´t explain too much. Giving people too much time to get worked up might be counterproductive. Make an exact list of the things you´ll be doing if you do go so anyone can just jump in to take over and otherwise just drop the topic for now. Every reason and explanation is an invitation for a discussion you don´t need because this is about your husband and you, not about anyone else.
 
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