Cate's Diary

I'm with you 100%! My wife enjoys buying presents for the kids in the family, but she doesn't need a holiday for an excuse.

Thanksgiving has my extended family there and I enjoy it usually.

Xmas is my immediate family only and that means that 6 of the 8 people aside from us are my sister and her family and I don't care for them in the least. I give them cash or gift cards and we are forced to make awkward small talk. She usually gives us something that she has stolen from the elderly people that she is supposed to work for. So xmas is the time of year that I am reminded of what a terrible person I share 50% of my genes with and that I receive stolen goods taken from the elderly in order to prevent a family uproar. So yeah, not my favorite.

I used to deal with it by getting sauced and now I just suffer the fools until I can make my exit. The only intrigue will be to see if husband #3 makes an appearance as he was absent for Thanksgiving. He had just adopted the young daughter of his second wife when my sister and he started dating (small towns have no secrets). I feel they deserve each other, but these "marriages" have expiration dates akin to dairy.
 
Whatever is beautiful.
Whatever is meaningful.
Whatever brings you happiness.
May it be yours this holiday season
and throughout the coming year.
It's 8.11am on Christmas morning here in Tasmania. Our 2 sons & 3 grandkids are coming for lunch & then we will be spending the evening just with our sons. We are about to go visit my Mum. Happy Christmas folks & lots of love to you all xoxo Cate​
 
:) Our "christmas" dinner will be tomorrow so we'll all have the time to be there together. No gifts, no big cooking, just family time. That's the way I like my holidays... Hope you had fun anyway!
 
A Christmas/New Year reflection-
I think most of us take stock at this time of year & I am no exception. I plan on doing many things differently next year. I react to others too much & I'm not sure what I can do there to stop that happening, but I'll work on that.
My weight fluctuates too much & I seem to be constantly going up & down about 3-4kg each year. I really need to get my weight down 5kg & stabilise it again. It gets harder & harder each year but that will be my aim this year. January the 1st I'm back to logging everything I eat & drink (more about that later) & the exercise(only actualexercise, not incidental stuff) I do.
I need to get daily exercise back & have set goals. I feel I have been getting progressively lazier as the year went on & feel like a sloth.

I think I may have been suffering from mild depression for some time. I know what to do to get myself out of it & that involves eating really healthily & exercising every day. Yesterday I felt quite down. Our son had left, G had gone to golf, & I felt really flat. I decided to make myself go to the market. It wasn't on. I visited my Mum, did some supermarket shopping & did not feel like coming home. I couldn't think what to do so I came home. After putting the shopping away, (LOTS of fresh fruit & veg mainly) I changed into my exercise gear & went outside & did some very physical gardening, in the hot sun, for hours. Afterwards I felt great!

I really enjoyed spending time with both of our sons at Christmas. I do have to try to stop worrying about them though. R is no longer depressed it seems. He now seems manic. :eek: Getting him to see someone is just as important, but will be harder now. Cooking is his absolute passion & he is now cooking about 75% of the time, with only about 25% behind the bar. I believe this is what has got him out of the fog. His tendency is to go flat out at what he loves doing, but when things go belly up, he runs away. I can't see any easy answers here & I sure don't want to burst his bubble, but I hope he gets some counselling this next year, to help him in the future.

I'll come back tonight as I have to get on the move. xoxo Cate
 
Hi Cate--Love your post, very insightful and it's lovely that you can reflect on what you want and need to change in order to be healthier, happier and have a great 2015.
 
Thanks Han. I love your signature quote, by the way- "I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated." xoxo

Today- I am home on my own as G has gone to work. I'm in my exercise gear again. I did about an hour's very physical gardening yesterday & will do some more today. It's a bit of a jungle out there! I had a rough night's sleep as I kept thinking about R (our younger son). He is a worry, but I have to find some way of not worrying about him as it helps no-one.

I have decided to start logging on MFP now, rather than wait until the 1st of Jan. I may go over the daily allowance on NYE, as we're going to a party & staying overnight. It may depend on how much dancing I do! One of our nephews turns 40 on NYE & is having a big party & has booked a holiday camp at the beach for a couple of days. We're sharing with D (our older son). It should be fun.

I'll give my NY resolutions a bit more thought..........
Logging every day on MFP. I have set it to only lose .5kg per week & it allows me 1720 cals, which should not be difficult.
Keeping under my calories every day, unless ill.
Exercise at least 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week.
Re-connect(by phoning) with at least one old friend each week until I feel I have well & truly caught up! 2014 I was SLACK! Most of my really good friends are not on FB!
That might do for the minute. I also need to try not to be so sensitive, but that is much harder to tackle!
Cheers, xo Cate


 
Hi Cate, sounds like you have a busy year ahead! The worrying thing is difficult, but I guess keeping busy and finding ways to get rid of the stress is the only way to tackle it. I just started a new job, and I leave there every day completely stressed out and drained. If I go the gym after, I cannot believe how revived and calm I feel after. So keep up the gardening!
 
Great resolutions, Cate! I love MFP. It always bums me out when I miss a day, and I see my "streak" went back down to 0. haha!
 
The exercise >30 mins a day feels like the hardest as I'm not sure what will qualify as exercise. If it can include vigorous gardening and/or vigorous housework then it won't be a problem. My rules I guess, so I'll give that one more thought....
If you want to add me on MFP Jen, I'm CateAussie. That streak thing is maddening. I must remember to at least log on each day, even if I forget to complete it.

Our YS, R is now joining us for NYE too. I hope he doesn't write himself off! I had trouble getting to sleep last night with anxiety over him. My heart was pounding away! I had us booked into a 6 berth cabin, but changed it to a 4 berth when I thought he wasn't going. It could be an interesting night. He obviously disgraced himself at a cousin's wedding earlier in the year & I hope he doesn't cop too much flak about it tonight (& doesn't repeat it!)

I think, maybe, that I should take up Tai Chi again in 2015. I miss it. I will ring Shaz to see what classes she has coming up. I do it on my own occasionally, but a class is better. I wish I could do beginners classes forever, rather than be expected to remember complicated sequences.

Time to move I think. I have to pack for tonight & try not to take half our house! We have to take all our bedding & I keep thinking of what we might need :eek: I'll probably go without some essential instead!
Cheers & see you when it's 2015, xoxo Cate
 
Hi! It was very kind of you to write on my thread and I just wanted to stop by and wish you good luck with your own journey! I'll be honest and say that I only read this last page of the thread, as I don't have enough time to go through everything from the beginning. That being said, while I have a very very limited idea of your son "R", whatever it is that he's going through - don't worry. I'm not a parent, so I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but as the "problem child" of my own family, I can speak with experience from the other side that worrying too much about it will only cause you unnecessary grief. Some people will grow up and have their life completely in order while others take more time. The only thing I can really say is to love him - unconditionally. Remind him that you love and support him no matter what, but let him figure out his own mistakes. You can't hold his hand forever, and sometimes just letting go is what a person really needed all along.

As for the exercise, I am personally of the belief that anything that gets you up and moving is "exercise". Walking, running, weight lifting, yoga etc. are what I like to think of as more "structured exercise" or intended exercising. Everything else is just... every-day sort of exercise, or activity. If that makes sense. Either way, I think that as long as you aren't just sitting around twiddling your thumbs, then that's far better than nothing at all.

Have a wonderful time! Happy New Year's!
 
Hi Cate!! I like your reflections on the year- I actually spend too much time thinking up new goals for the new year rather than reflecting on what I should've done differently- probably a big area I'm going wrong. Haha. Oops. Good luck with the logging goal, I know once you start it will become habit again!!

Wishing you a happy new year!!! :hurray:
 
Kopia said:
That being said, while I have a very very limited idea of your son "R", whatever it is that he's going through - don't worry. I'm not a parent, so I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but as the "problem child" of my own family, I can speak with experience from the other side that worrying too much about it will only cause you unnecessary grief. Some people will grow up and have their life completely in order while others take more time. The only thing I can really say is to love him - unconditionally. Remind him that you love and support him no matter what, but let him figure out his own mistakes. You can't hold his hand forever, and sometimes just letting go is what a person really needed all along.
Click to expand...
I know you're right Kopia. It's very difficult. I think he's Bi-Polar, but he has never been properly diagnosed. He is definitely a "wild child" but is now 32 & it is very hard to cope with. Loving him is never a problem. It feels like we're walking a tightrope a lot of the time & it's very hard to loosen the reins totally as he seems so dependant on us for moral support. It's hard not to feel like we've failed somehow as parents. I think he really needs to get some professional help. Getting him to do so now is harder than when he was really depressed.
I appreciate your input Kopia. It is hard to deal with & I'm grateful for the support I get. It's a tough thing to talk about.
Re exercise. I agree there too. Moving is good- any moving!
Happy New Year Kopia! Here's to a new year, new friendships & achieving our goals. Cheers, Cate

Hi Lucy- I don't think you need worry too much about whether you should spend more time planning new goals or reflecting on past ones! You're kicking it! Happy New Year to you, too xo Cate

Hi Caroline- Happy New Year to you too! I did enjoy NYE with the family, thank you.

New Year's Eve-
The 40th birthday/NYE party was held at a camp overlooking a bay & was a safe & good environment for the family get-together. When you look at the combination of people & generations, some strangers to one another & past family disagreements and tensions, there was a good chance of some clashes. The night went well.
One family member arrived by helicopter to surprise the birthday "boy" with a helicopter ride. Our YS, R, was a pied piper to a horde of kids for endless hours playing soccer with them etc. He was the "big kid" of the night. It all seemed fine to me. Next morning I heard he hid in a freezer during a game of hide and seek. A FREEZER!!! He had gone when I heard about that! That is such a serious lack of good judgement.
He told about 10 people apparently to wake him early so that he could get into town to catch a bus, instead of organising himself. He would have expected us or his brother to drive him in but hadn't organised it at all. When he slept in, along with everyone else he then expected us to solve his problem. Our son said he'd drive him to see if he could get on a later bus, which he did. Meanwhile he had left stuff all over the place, including his keys. We found his good goretex jacket & a bag with some of his stuff in it, including the keys. He had taken my LH's phone charger back with him. He also had brought his bike up on the bus & had left it chained up in town as it wouldn't fit in my little car. It was crazy to bring it up on the bus.
Whoops. I'll stop there. I think he had a good night with his cousins. We love him, but he does need help. I can't imagine him ever really getting it together, but I won't give up on him either. I do have to find a way of worrying less about him as I can't & shouldn't live his life for him. It worries us sick sometimes- literally.

It's January the 2nd already, in Aus. A new year! We're going to do some gardening this morning & then visit our OS, D, & our 3 GK's this afternoon & move their chookpen. D's back is healing well & he is being very careful. I hope he finds a new love in 2015. I hope both our sons do.

Lots of love to one & all, xoxo Cate

 
Happy New Year, Cate.

On the exercise front, I really am a big fan of the heart rate monitors as a means to check to see just how much of a workout you're really getting, at least when it comes to burning calories. You don't really even need to wear it all the time, just enough to get an idea of what each type of workout is really accomplishing.

I'm also going to pull for your YS this year. It sounds like we have similar types of issues (I have had a bipolar diagnosis, but I also had a doctor tell me "no, I don't think so"), though it also sounds like his might be more severe than mine. I'm guessing I'm several years older than him, and if it helps any I will say that, by my account (and my family's as well), those types of problems have lessened more and more as I've gotten older. Getting him in to see some people is likely a good idea, but it's also true that, regardless, he's the one that's going to have to do the work.

I too am on the "New Year's Resolution" bandwagon, and I think I'm going into the New Year with the best mindset I've had in a long time. I appreciate all the checking in you do on my thread from time to time. It means a lot to me. Again, Happy New Year and let's kick some arse this year!
 
Happy New Year!
I definitely understand the stresses of the holidays. My family went through some major changes the last few years and the holidays certainly remind you of that!
Good luck this year achieving your goals!
 
Hi Cate,

You can't say your son doesn't have imagination when he hides in a freezer. At least he's not a bore!! All you can do is be there for him, and encourage him, but he's an adult, so it's up to him. Hope your visit to the grandkids went well.
 
Cate, your New Years celebrations sound fantastic!! Sorry about your son, I agree with Kopia above... as long as he knows you're always there for him, he'll reach out eventually. My best friend when I was younger (from about 18- till just before my 21st birthday) had bipolar, and it was a hell of a rollercoaster. He had a big support system but I think that because we were all so concerned he felt smothered and pushed us all away, and unfortunately he made the decision to end his own life (he was severely depressed along with his bipolar, stopped taking his meds after he moved out from home, was quite a drug addict in the end and had a lot of bad things happen to him his last few months with us). It's a really difficult situation to be in, letting you know them you care and are there without pushing them to do something they maybe aren't ready to yet.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to worry you further, I just know how difficult it can be. Big hugs :grouphug: Also, as a mother I guess you never stop worrying about your kids no matter how old they are!
 
Thanks V. I really hope that it does get better & better as he gets older. I have to learn to stop worrying so much about him. You're welcome re the checking in on your diary regularly. It is a reciprocal thing as I get as much support & I also very much appreciate it. It's good to have a place to go where you can be honest & express yourself freely, without fear of judgement or criticism. It has helped me considerably over the years, mainly in helping clarify my thoughts. 2015, hey? The year we get our shit together! Time for me to at long last get rid of that last 5kg!

Hi Mystic & Happy New Year to you too. I posted in your diary earlier. Hope you survived the dance video!

Caroline- No-one would ever accuse him of being boring, that's for sure! When he's on this planet, but firing, he's great company! He just takes it the nth degree fairly often & gets out of control. I have often thought that he would be better off without alcohol. We'll always be there for him & I know he has to sort himself out. I am so looking forward to that.

Hi Jess, Happy New Year to you & your family too sweets. I have missed you! 2015- eating healthy, moving more & being good to ourselves.....sounds good to me! xoxo Cate

New Year's resolutions, re-jigged-
Lose at least 5kg.
Log on MFP every day of the year.
Exercise,(not just incidental moving) a min. of 30 mins. every other day until exercise is a habit again. Then exercise at least 6 times a week.

I am going to ring my Tai Chi teacher & see what classes she has this year. I also want to play golf more often. I don't play enough to get better at it. I want to try to get out & just have a hit. My clubs stay at the course & I could just go out any time & have a hit. I really don't know why I don't. I think I have become lazy & a little unmotivated. It's time I kicked my own butt! I have been lazy!

P.S.-
Thanks Lucy. I took so long to type that last post that you beat me to it. I know how serious it can be & that's why I worry. My brother killed himself at 25, & that's always in the back of your mind. You're parents for life, that's for sure. I hope he finds a way through all this. I do think he's getting there, but it is a very gradual progress, with lots of backwards steps. Thanks for caring Lucy xo



 
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