Cate's Diary

Thank you very much Sarah! I really value my friendships too. My diary has enabled me to build my self-esteem to the stage where I can now say that I truly believe that I am a good person. I have learned to love & value myself. I have many faults as everyone does, but I try to work on improving those, while not obsessing over them. I know that I must work on my self-esteem to ensure that I never get fat again. I hid behind my fat.
I'm still thinking about the guidelines for myself. I don't want to make a bold statement about what I'm going to do, or not do as I feel that I'm at the stage that I want to have basic, achievable guidelines for the rest of my life........
I know I'm going to ride 10km on my bike today as I'm feeling stiff, after golf yesterday. I also have asthma badly today, but that won't stop me!
Love to all, be back later, xoxo Cate
 
Hello my online mum :)

Kate, again comes back with her tail between her legs!!! :blush5:

I've just read the last few posts on your diary and i'm blown away with how inspiring you are (as always) I know I am the person who has stopped posting and gained and I know that I have to keep up with posting on here to keep myself accountable. Also, I had forgotten how inspiring it is for me to read other peoples diaries. I'd kinda ignored everything, burying my head in the sand.

I really have missed you :beating:
 
Hello sweetie pie! I'm glad you're back. I sure did not aim any comments at you! It was a general comment on what happens in life. You know that though I'm sure. I'll go check out your new diary right now. It is lovely having you back :D :D :D xoxoxo
Joh- my comments on guidelines were also general. I don't want to put pressure on myself, but also need to make some adjustments. I have to adjust my shopping mainly & not buy certain things like gluten-free veggie chips. They don't just talk to me, that yell!
Time to go look at other diaries. Nice to have old friends back :D xoxoxo Cate
 
Heya sweetie :)

I know you didn't mean me personally but it was kinda like I was ment to come back and see that so I knew that I had to stick around this time. You always have the nack of saying the right thing at the perfect time :)

Whoop Whoop!!!! Well done on the golf hun :) I am doing no exercise at all, I have been so lazy :( The temperature here at the moment is just unbelievably hot (England hot, I hear you say......I know!!!!) we are in the middle of a heat wave. It was 37c at 5.30pm yesterday and today was suppose to be the hottest day in 7 years so I really can't bring myself to do anything.......Oh, and I have a broken toe (which is an awesome excuse to do bugger all) but I will get my act together soon.

Love and hugs Xoxoxoxoxo
 
Hi Hun, I have been lazy too & that is why I was so happy to get out there laying golf. I really feel I have the golfing bug back again, thank goodness. I was starting to feel like a lazy sloth! 37c is hot by anyone's standards. In Tasmania if it gets to that everyone is moaning. We are just not used to it. It's a bugger about your broken toe!
Am having a lay day today. Had the GK's this morning, took them home to their Mum's, visited our Mums, did some shopping & we are bot sitting on our comfy recliners doing zilch. I like Sundays! It's raining & quite cold & our wood heater is cosy & warm.
Love to all xoxo Cate
 
Felt like sharing this quote by Bob Marley-
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
I am so lucky to have my special soul mate. We have been together for over 41 years! xoxo Cate
 
It's a great quote, Cate. Unfortunately right now for me the person that quote most applies to right now is an exotic dancer, so I don't think I'm doing it right. :D

That said, I think I'm conducting my midlife crisis awfully well: losing a bunch of weight, making a good living, having a laugh or two at my own expense. I've seen worse.
 
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Ha ha Mr Vee. Mid life crisis indeed! Every now & then I feel particularly mushy & sometimes I just feel like sharing it. *blush* I want everyone to find someone they really love & who loves them. I can't help it. It's my basic nature. Some may find it cringe-worthy, but I don't care.
Does your exotic dancer look like any of these exotic bodies? Yes, they are bodies- 5 of them. VERY clever body art! :D
 

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Today I spent AGES reading diaries & I got inspired & rode my exercise bike 3 times, doing a total of 16km. I ate very healthily. I feel good!
 
Another good day- busy with mothers/ doing the bar etc. Probably maintenance. About to get myself a snack but won't overdo it. All good. Cheers, xo Cate
 
Cancel that last statement. Major fail! Opened a big packet of crisps, saying that I would only have some. :( I kept going back for more, felt like I was bloody well possessed& knew that I would finish them all off, then quickly threw the rest into the fire. :( You should have seen them burn. Fail, fail, fail. Lesson learned- Don't buy anything I shouldn't eat. Ever!
Good day today, but didn't go to golf. Instead we got lots of wood & that was vigorous!
 
Every now and then my grocery store has some sort of promotion where something I normally buy comes with a free bag of chips/crisps or a bag of cookies or something. Because I don't trust myself, when I get home I go the front office of my complex and give it to them.

I do the same with left over Halloween candy and also any time I run into Girl Scouts with pouty faces selling cookies. I'm sort of an easy mark for them.

As good as you think you can be, there's no reason to go out of your way to test your resolve. I am, however, able to keep a twelve pack of regular Coca Cola in the house for special treats and such. It usually can last as much as a couple of months. So I sppose it depends on the item.
 
It's the salty things that I have the most trouble resisting, so I will not buy them any more. I'm glad we don't get anything added to our groceries as a promotion. I would have to hand them to someone else before I left the store. Some things that I love I can have in the house for ages too & not be tempted, but crisps (chips) are my biggest temptation. I won't be bringing them home ever again. I hate how it makes me feel when I do something like that. It's the fat me sneaking out again. She's still in there!
 
A much better day yesterday, but still am not exercising enough. When I'm going into town I dress respectably & when I'm staying home I rug up in polar fleece pants & thermals etc, so whichever happens I am not in suitable exercise gear. I really need to buy some exercise clothes that I can wear layered!! I find most of them horrible & horribly over-priced. I will really try to find a nice, but affordable, tracksuit. Is there such a thing? Surely, there must be!
I'm going into our nearest city on Monday & will try to find one!
Cheers, Cate
 
My experience with the track pants here is that you get what you pay for. In my case the cheap ones have been fine, because most of the time they become too big for me before they fall apart. But I also had one fall apart in less than a month.
 
True- I am going to buy a track suit on Monday as I really need one. It will not leave our home, but still needs to be nice.
It is a beautiful day today after days & days of rain & wind. I took Mum for a drive and have just arrived home. I'm going to change right now into tracky dacky's & runners & I WILL ride my bike today. I have been staying up late every night for 3 weeks watching Le Tour & it is inspiring! I LOVE Le Tour. I am dreaming of going back to France & Italy. *sigh* I loved them both. I am also reading "Under a Tuscan Sun" for about the 4th time!!
Cheers for now, xo Cate.
PS I WILL weigh on Monday or Tuesday. Scary!
"Try to be like the turtle-
at ease in your own shell."
~Bill Copeland.
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New goals- (Thanks Joh for the idea of re-focussing on my new goals.)

These are something to aim for & should be achievable. I'll try to come up with 10!

1. Weigh myself every week.
2. Do not eat anything after 9pm.
3. Ride on my exercise bike a minimum of 5 days a week for at least 5km. Aim to do 40km a week. Record it in my diary.
4. Do not buy and bring home anything that I love to eat but shouldn't. If I want an occasional small sweet treat, eat it while I'm out & bring none home. Only buy enough for a small treat. Don't kid myself that I'll save it for another day.
5. Include in my diary "Things to be proud of'(thanks Kate) & a daily motivational quote & take notice of my own signature.
5. Restrict chocolate to Sunday nights only.
6. Get down to 80kg before Christmas. (This will be the hardest!)
7. Record my weight in my diary every week.
8. Play golf at least once a week. Record it in my diary.
9. Have one day a week without any alcohol. Record it.
10. Record my general mood in my diary, even if it is not good.

That will do for now I think. I am about to go hop on my bike now.

Yesterday-
I rode my bike 5kms
I should not have eaten after 9pm! Had 3 crackers with ham & hot mustard at about 10.30!
My general mood was a bit negative. Felt fat & lazy.

To be proud of-
Rode my bike when I really did not feel like it.

Today's quote-
"A goal is not the same as a desire, and this is an important distinction to make. You can have a desire you don’t intend to act on. But you can’t have a goal you don’t intend to act on."
~Tom Morris

Cheers, Cate
 
New start- Today, Sunday the 21st July, 2013
Bike- 15.25km in 30 mins :D
To be proud of-
Re-focussing & making a commitment to myself.
 
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