Cate's Diary

Didn't weigh this morning as the moon & stars were out of alignment. Well actually I hadn't gone to the toilet. I'll weigh tomorrow. It gives me another chance to have a good day & hopefully I will still be 79kg or, with a little bit of luck, & a fair breeze, even less. I doubt it.

Yesterday-

I went for a walk early & then rode my bike for over 40 mins & felt really energised. I have been wanting to go to Narawntapu National Park for a while & meant to take my sister, but ran out of time when she was here. I messaged our OS & asked him where he was taking the kids & he msgd back Narawntapu! I sung out to R & K & made us a picnic lunch, thermos of herbal tea (& a chi for K) etc & we headed off. Have a look at this site- http://www.parks.tas.gov.au/index.aspx?id=3665

Animals wander around freely &, while not tame, wander around you, quite unafraid. We had a lovely time. It is right by the beach & we picnicked on the beach with our OS & his 3 kids & a friend of our OGS. The day was perfect. I took some lovely photos, including this one-



I think the day was the best medicine for all of us! I really do feel that this will be a turning point for our son & already I think he now feels that his future can be bright & good. His mood has lifted considerably already. Look at that smile! I can tell that he is really in love this time. Hopefully, for his sake it will work out. They were talking about spending 6 months in Australia & 6 months in Canada if they could ever afford to. Nice. Who knows- we may end up going to Canada one day, after all. I had never planned on ever going to the US, but I went 3 times, because of my sister.

It's sweet to see them together & I do hope it works out but what will be, will be.

He is flying to Sydney on Tues & then going on a road trip up north, to Cairns. When he gets back they will spend a couple of weeks together & then meet up again in Canada sometime in July I think. He realises that if he had a drivers license & his own car or van that his time at the pub could have been very different. He has never had one! It must be a priority. You can get almost anywhere in Tasmania in no time at all with a car. That beautiful national park is only a 30 min drive from our home.

Today-

My LH has gone off to golf again (reluctantly this time) & has taken R&K back to town. I have woken with a sore throat again, which I have been fighting since our trip to Melbourne, so decided not to go with him & to have a day of comparative rest at home. It will be a day to re-charge my batteries. Kept well within my cals yesterday.

Sarah- Thank you for showing that you care. I appreciate that. Our son knows that it is alcohol that is the problem. I think he will be able to do this, with support from all of us & his GF, who doesn't seem to care for drinking at all. We talked about getting outside help but I think he knows what he should do & I also think that he is capable & willing to change his behaviour. I also sense that he cares so much for his GF that he will want to change for the sake of their relationship. I'm feeling confident.

I am going to have a quiet day today so will head now & look around the diaries, facebook etc & then go sit in my chair & finish off a book.

Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
AWow, Cate, a fifty cent coin? Those are bloody GINORMOUS! What a horrific experience... such a worry for you!

It is fantastic that you managed to all sit down and talk about it and that it seemed to be really productive, and that he actually took it all on board (it seems). I think that pretty much every man I know of my generation (which is the same as your son's, I'm pretty certain) is very similar to this, where they have a tendency to be prone to the occasional binge, and tend to drink quite a lot quite regularly. Australian men especially, for some reason... Dunc and I have had a couple of very very serious talks about it, because the guys in his work team, 6 of them, are all really big drinkers, and whenever they have a work gathering somewhere, he ends up completely and utterly wasted, to the point that it is dangerous. The thing that I don't understand is that he says he doesn't notice it happening - that he will be at a table and drinking away and then not until it is way too late will he realise that he is completely incapacitated. For me, I always start to get signals from my body that this is enough, but he doesn't get any of that. So we have had to come up with a system for him to keep track. He now has an application on his mobile phone where he puts in every beer he drinks (it's always beer... some of the beer here is verrrrrry strong), and it actually makes it kind of a social thing, because some of his friends do the same thing. It means that he now tracks every drink he has, and he writes a sentence or two about what he thinks of that particular beer, which makes it a much more conscious thing for him, and not just a slug-it-down kind of thing. Also, it recognises if the beer you are drinking is very high in alcohol and will tell you such things... this has been SOOOO good for him, I can't explain. He really hates it when he loses control, and hates that he doesn't notice it happening. He also really hates how upset it makes me (I think it happened two times in very short succession and I was newly pregnant and out of my mind with worry)... which sounds kind of similar to your son.

I hope you don't mind my rant about all that... and that maybe it is somehow relevant.

Meanwhile, I spent 8 months on university exchange in Canada, and I think it was pretty much the greatest thing I have ever done. Ever. It set me on a path and gave me such amazing feelings of self discovery and AHHH it was incredible. I love Canada! I can only say positive things about it :)

I hope that your little recovery day has done you some good and your sore throat... Lots of love to you, my gorgeous friend. xxx
 
AHello Cate
I have discovered your wonderful thread this weekend . It was , and is, a great read for Cohen followers. Your generosity in sharing the stories of your life really touched me as well.
I have started a diary on this site to help keep me focused.
Today is day 7 of being on Cohens.
Last Tuesday when I started I was 103kg and want to get into the 70s.
I live in the central west high country of NSW. 4 children all grown and out in the world. 3 gorgeous grandsons. We are farmers, and I love photography and writing.
Enough of me.
Look forward to your next post.
Cheers
Travel68
 
Hi Joh, I don't mind at all that you share your experiences with me & I find it very helpful. My BIL is here at the moment & while we didn't tell him exactly what happened, we did say that we have had a lot of stress again, connected to R's drinking& that we feel that he will kill himself if he continues on the same path & that is not fair for any of us. Our BIL hasn't had a drink now for over 4 years & suggested having a talk to him. I think my LH's sister had said that he had to stop or she couldn't stay with him. I see similarities in that both of them seem to think that they need lots of alcohol to be really good, fun company. I really love my BIL & we get on well. He may be able to offer some good advice to our son so will talk to him soon when no-one else is about. Binge drinking to the point of having no control, to me is very scary & very dangerous. I think our son is going to either have to stop altogether or else restrict himself to a certain number & never go over that limit. With some people the safety valve just doesn't seem to exist. I know I should NEVER EVER have any more than 4 alcoholic drinks or my sense goes out the window. Our family seems to have an ability to drink LOTS of alcohol, with the exception of my LH.

Just got a message from R & I am picking him up this afternoon & we'll do his Canadian work visa application online. He'll stay with us again tonight & then I'm driving him to the airport tomorrow to fly to Sydney for his road trip to Cairns.

Weighed this morning & was bloody 80 again, but it will only be temporary! Didn't do much yesterday but also had no wine.

Thanks Joh for your visit. I think going to Canada will do him good & hopefully he will change his life around as he is such a good person. He has unlimited potential to actually do good in the world as his heart is in the right place. He is very philanthropic & generous & kind-hearted. Both our sons have lovely souls.

It's very exciting waiting for Beanie news! I'm so happy that you have managed to get to this stage. It shows how strong you are! Lots of love, right back to you Joh, & Dunc & Beanie-boy! xoxo Cate
 
Cate cate cate...........you are so great how you deal with things in life.

Your sons are so lucky to have you as their mum.I also think its great that you sat down and talked about this i really belive that his travel will do so much good make him "grow"

That photo is great your son is so handsome!!!!

Now dont worry about the 80 i am getting this aswell.I think we need to have a few days real strict to get things moving (down wards) again!!!

DRASTIC?oooo easy to write that not easy to follow!!!!!
 
AHeya My lovely

I have been such a crap friend, i haven't been on yours or anyones diary for nearly 2 weeks now :( I am so so sorry.

Today is catch up day........

I know it was ages ago but i am so pleased it went well with your brother. I totally understand what it's like to feel so anxious about a situation.

Ooooooooh a new golf buggy :hurray: :hurray: How exciting. I hope it's not a sit on ride around one, where's the exercise in that lol :eek:

My scales have been up and down loads but i have been shockingly bad at times so that's to be expected. I feel bad that i'm being so rubbish, well, all that is changing now. I am on a mission now, i will lose this last bit by the 4th july. I started on 3rd july 2011 and i am to have reached my goal in that year.
I too hate and love the scales. I have shouted 'oh, fuck off then' at them and clapped my hands and squealed like a child at them too.

I'm loving your golf enthusiasm :) 'i'm itching to get out & play more golf' That's awesome. :hurray: :hurray: I really miss my enthusiasm with running :( I will hopefully get it back when i feel better and have a daily routine.

You, my lovely are just the most wonderful mum and rolemodel!!! :grouphug:

I've missed so much on your diary :(
 
Travel68- I'm so sorry but I missed this post as we must have been typing at the same time. Thank you so much for your very kind words. Starting a diary is a great idea. It is what keeps me focussed & I think has played a big part in my not regaining the weight I shed. Cohen's was the perfect choice for me because it is so black & white & it gets great results fast. I started at 111kg & got to 75 in 6 months. I will be forever grateful for the program. One thing I will stress is the importance of sticking to it 100%. Early on I saw how so many "deviated" from the program & paid the price by either never getting there or taking twice as long & I chose to stick with it, without any deviation, until I got to my goal. Although it is not easy I also think that the discipline required to follow it is a good lesson in changing your habits, by replacing them with good ones. I still have many self-imposed rules. I'll check out your diary soon. 3 grandsons! Isn't being a grandmother just one of the best things to happen in your life! Thanks for your visit, cheers, Cate.


Jess, Jess, Jess- I think you're a darling & you put a smile on my face! He is gorgeous isn't he? Drastic, drastic, drastic......hmmmm.....surely we can do it! The bloody 80 hurt, much as I know it is only a number. We can do sweetie, I'm sure we can! BUT WHEN? Only kidding! This year we must get under that 80 & never back to it again. I don't want to see that number ever again after this year! I am feeling really fit & active & can walk & walk & walk & am fitter than most of my friends, but I still want to be between 72-75kg to have a safety net. I probably need to cut out drinking ANY wine for a month. That would make a big difference. I should try to raise money for a charity when I do it though. Lots of love to you sweets, xoxo Cate


Kate- Heya my lovely friend (NOT A CRAP ONE AT ALL!!!!)
"Ooooooooh a new golf buggy :hurray::hurray: How exciting. I hope it's not a sit on ride around one, where's the exercise in that lol :eek:" AS IF, CHEEKY!!!!! :svengo:

4th July. I like the idea of that day being a personal goal date. I want my own Independence day. Independence from those terrible 80's! I am going to weigh 78kg by then!!
"You, my lovely are just the most wonderful mum and role model!!! :grouphug:" Kate you are soooo sweet! Thank you!

I really feel loved & supported. Thank you my lovely friends, xoxoxo Cate
 
I'm just too tired today to offer support or comment on diaries I'm sorry. I feel absolutely knackered! Eaten well, exercise zilch, wine zilch, xoxo
 
Life has seemed to be a whirlwind with lots of stress & worry about both mothers & both sons (our OS's worries are mostly financial.) . I won't go into all the details as it's mentally & physically exhausting! My LH & I have pulled the pin on going anywhere today & are getting outside shortly & going wood-gathering. Tomorrow I'm going for a hit of golf on my own, I think, as I haven't been able to co-ordinate a game with the others.

I have been eating well but probably will still be 80kg as I haven't been getting healthy, vigorous, fresh air exercise. I ended up having 2 glasses of wine last night.

I still feel tired & a bit under the weather from all of the stress but will get outside soon & hopefully will feel better about everything. We have our OGS tonight & the grand-kids are good medicine!

I have been feeling slim lately, regardless of what the scales say, which feels really good.

Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
AHello my lovely :)

Sorry life is all stressy for you, I know that feeling well, it's really tiring isn't it.
Don't feel bad about not exercising Hun, I haven't done anything for nearly 3 weeks now!!!!!! If I don't get to the gym this week then I will definately go for a run on Sunday. Hopefully life will settle for me and I can get back into an exercise routine. I must try and remember to do some crunches again!

Hope you feel back to your normal self soon. Much love :grouphug:

Xxx
 
Feeling much better tonight sweet Kate, after a nice day, spent with my LH. I went with him to the golf club & managed to get a bit of practise in on my own(until it poured with rain!), but also did LOTS of stocking up in the bar & unpacked the beer delivery, while my LH & a friend collected all the rubbish from around the course. I love being strong! It has felt like a really positive day. My LH blew his stack with his mum & burst a blood vessel in his eye. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. I think I can cope with her better than her own family. I understand her. I am not like her at all though.

Will have no trouble staying under today, even after having a delicious tuna & gluten-free pasta dinner & 2 very small glasses of wine. Just said no to another & no to more to eat. Fruit platter tonight soon & more herbal tea!

Will be back in the morning again as I am spending tomorrow at home on my own, which will be quite nice, for a change. Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Yesterday- Was really cold & overcast & I spent half of my day on my chair reading & the other half on the computer & somewhere in there I did a little bit of housework, had an hour long phone conversation with my sister, 10 mins on my bike (5km minimum) & that was my day really.

Calories- put them back up to 1420 (to lose 1lb a week) It suits me better I think.

Today- I haven't weighed because it's Mothers Day & I didn't want to spoil my day. Mind you, I'm really not doing anything special for my day but I'm taking my Mum for a drive & morning tea & then having lunch at my MIL's place with my SIL (the grumpy one.) *sigh*

Our OS rang to wish me happy Mothers Day & reminded me of the MD in the past, back when we ran a pub for 18 years. We called them "Mother of a day" then & we would be flat out working all day & I would end up washing dishes for about 2 hours & at the end of the day we would all collapse in a heap! I am so glad that is in the past.

I had better get a move on as I'm not showered or dressed yet.

Bye for now, xoxo Cate
 
AHappy mothers day to my online mum!!!! :grouphug: you're like totally the best mum ever and I want you to be mine :) so I'm adopting you :)

Glad you are feeling much better sweetie :grouphug:

I really think we have made the right decision to up our calories. I think that I am gonna concentrate on trying to get more exercise in rather than eating less. That's definately the way to go.

Hope you have had a lovely day and your MIL and grumpy SIL don't spoil it for you.

Lots and lots of love and hugs Cupcake :grouphug:

Xxxxx
 
Oh wow! You're now unofficially adopted Kate! :beating: You can be the daughter I never had & didn't think I ever wanted but have been wishing lately that I had. NICE!

Lots and lots of love back to you sweet friend/daughter, xoxoxoxo

The day was quite good really. I got a call from our YS as well, while I was picking my Mum up. That felt so good to hear from him as it makes me feel that he is trying to change his life for the better. I so love my 3 men! (Rox- don't get confused if you read this! :smilielol5:)

Mum had got mixed up & told them that she was out for lunch, not morning tea, but that was ok. We took her for a nice drive "I love the mountains"' is what she says all the time & then had morning tea (coffee only) & then dropped her back. Lunch at the MIL's was fine. My LH didn't get crabby with his Mum, my SIL was ok too. We took lunch between us(Atlantic Salmon fillet with a GF pasta salad & Lemon Delicious). It was quite a relaxing few hours really. It was nice to get back home though & spend a quiet evening on our own.

I sent my ex-DIL a message wishing her happy MD & thanking her for our lovely grand-kids & got a nice message back.


I weighed this morning, even though I knew it would be up a bit (80.5.) As I hopped on the scales I said to myself "I am going to lose .5kg this week, no matter what I weigh. I won't let the number on the scales upset me. I felt fine when I read 80.5 but changed my tune to 1kg & I will do it!! I feel very positive.

It saddens me to see both of my LH's sisters being so big. They would both need to lose about 30-40kg I would think. I know that it bothers both of them & they are shortening their lives & could be enjoying it so much more. I can't tell them. One asked & when I suggested just mapping what she eats on MFP she sounded keen & did it for only 3 days. I love her a lot & it is painful to see her so big, when I know that she could lose weight & get healthy. It hurts her husband even more & he is despairing over it. Anything he says she reacts to badly. One of her daughters rang me one day asking if I had any ideas on how to approach her Mum. All of her family are worried.


Today- is a compulsory stay at home day as our OS has my car (his has blown a head gasket this time) & my LH is at work, since 7.30 this morning. It's really cold but I'll hop on my bike I think today. I may go for a walk as well.

Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
AJust catching up on diaries.....and love that all theses wonderful people cheered you up....this place can turn my mood around instantly! Glad your feeling better....you are so close to goal...don't stress to much...you are doing great!!! Sending good vibes :))
 
AHeya Mum :seeya:

I love that you're happy to adopt me :beating: Perfect timing :) No stroppy teenage daughter to deal with and i'm at my most mentally stable of my entire life lol :smilielol5: (actualy due to you in a big way :) )

How did you hear about Joh? I haven't seen anything on facebook or anything. I have been thinking about her all day!!!! Hope all's going well. I'm so excited for her :)

Love and hugs Xxx
 
Hi sweets, I think I must have imagined it!! I can't see what I read on FB that made me think that she was now!! GAH!! Maybe she isn't after all!! Maybe she'll wait until Friday :sifone: which is my birthday(59th- OUCH.) I need a big telling off as I have been mentioning the A & O (age & old) words lately & realised that I must be thinking too much about turning 60 next year. IT'S JUST A BLOODY NUMBER!!!! I'll have to get over this slight hump as I didn't struggle with 30, 40 or 50 so why 60? It does sound old though, :eek: but I sure don't feel old, so must stop. See- I have told myself off already. I do that all the time! :cuss:

We are the sum of all of our parts & I think we can all take credit for the influence on one another in the forum & outside. What we must remember to do though is to give ourselves credit for changing our lives & our attitudes, something we all find hard to do. I know that you're the same. I could easily say to you, & really mean it, that you are awesome & inspiring, but do you reckon I could say that to myself. No way! But we should & I should be able to. :hug2: A work in progress sweetie, a work in progress....Lots of love to you too Kate, my newly adopted lovelydaughter, xoxo Cate.

OOH! That reminds me- Our OS told us that his brother said he is well & truly in love this time!! YES!! His words were actually "I'm done." which translates to I'm well & truly hooked this time! I knew it but the fact that he admits it to his brother is great news. Fingers & toes crossed that it works out with them as I soooo want him to be happy & in love as we are. It could be a real turning point in his life!


Yesterday- was bloody exhausting & draining & not worth talking about really. Nothing out of the ordinary, just more mother stuff mostly. It's taking it's toll on my mental & physical health & I feel absolutely knackered. It's very constant. I am thankful that neither mother lives with us or I would be totally gaga. I even had a woman raving to me for ages yesterday about her mother, who she lives with. I came away absolutely drained. I really can't cope with other people's problems on top of my own at the moment.

It made me realise that you can sound really nasty if you're not careful. I love both of our mothers & will miss them badly when they're gone. I would hate anyone to think that i thought otherwise & will be a bit more careful what I say when I get stressed about them. Not getting stressed would be a better option. I will really have to work on that one!

A stressful, tiring day was capped off with a crap meal at a Chinese restaurant. We had to go with our OS to pick up his car that had been fixed (80km return) & he thought it would be nice for the 3 of us to have a meal together at a restaurant. We made poor food choices, instead of asking what things were, & I blew my calories with food that I didn't even enjoy! Good company though! I suffered last night with a badly bloated stomach but feel better this morning. I am aware that i try not to fuss too much about food in his company as I think he was worried that I am obsessive about it. Truth is I am really, but in a good way I think.


Today- I had a tiny breakfast of stewed plums(sour) with natural yoghurt (sour) & a little GF muesli (weird) but it was only 229 cals all up so today is well & truly on track. I am not at all hungry & struggled to eat it. It felt like penance but was a good idea. Mentally I have got rid of the Chinese feed! (& physically but that's t.m.i. I know!) We are going to do some wood gathering & gardening today & it's a beautiful, sunny day!

Lots of love to everyone, xoxo Cate
 
AMy computer is in the shop...and I hate this bloody tablet....so if I dont get back on for a few days ....happy happy birthday!!!!!! You look great and sending your tons of good cheer!!!:grouphug:
 
I hadn't imagined Joh being in labour! I'll leave it to her to break her wonderful news. I read about it on my birthday yesterday & it really made me feel good. My birthday was a funny day really. I always feel like it should be a really important day & have always thought that birthdays are your special day, but I have also always not let anyone make a fuss over me & always say I don't want or need presents. I heard from the people most important to me, which is the main thing, including our YS who usually forgets. I must make even more of an effort for other people as I know how important it is to feel that you are being thought of & cared about.

We spent the day at home & I actually did lots of house-work & my LH did lots of brush-cutting.

We showered late afternoon & then went into town & did a few things, had dinner at the pub our YS was in & stayed to listen to a couple of our favourite musos, who come up from Hobart. I had a really good night & really enjoyed myself. It felt strange not to be made a fuss over AT ALL. I didn't even get shouted one drink. I can't tell you how much I drank though as I seemed to be able to just drink & drink & stay fairly sober. It was strange really. I stuck to Cab/Merlot & mulled wine all night. I danced a lot & am glad we went, otherwise it would have been a total non-event.

Next year I will be away somewhere, preferably the Greek Islands! I am fussing much more over other people on their birthdays from now on.

It sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I'm not. It just makes me feel much more aware of how you can make such a difference to other people's lives, just by showing them that you care.

I went over my calories by a rough estimate of about 900 cals yesterday. EEK! Well, you only turn 59 once! BTW- no hangover! Miracle! I call that a lucky escape. BTW #2- my LH was designated driver, which is very unusual, but was a great present. Yes, we have survived a relationship for over 40 years & I let him off buying a present for me. Big mistake!

I visited Mum today & took her for a walk, which was actually really nice & have spent most of the day reading a great book, that a friend of my late sister recommended- "The sweetness at the bottom of the pie" by Alan Bradley. I have almost finished it & will give it 5 stars. I think it's for young readers but I don't care. I often find them really interesting & entertaining.

Anyhow, I'm off to make a fruit platter. Lots of love to you all, xoxo Cate
 
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