Cate's Diary

AHeya Cupcake :)

You trip to the naturopath sounded productive :hurray: It's good that you were honest and said what you needed to say. Well done.

I know what you mean about how similar our thoughts are and i feel so ungratful for complaining about getting compliments, i feel that i should 'Bask in it' like Rosie says but i just want to shrivel up so they dont see me. Sometimes i am cool with it but i guess it depends on my mental state at the time. I reckon i would probably miss it when it stops though.....Us woman are never satisfied :)
Cupcake, we can be totally crazy together :)

Sending you lots of love and big squishy hugs lovely :grouphug: :grouphug:
 
Hi Kate :grouphug: (& anyone else reading my diary,) I forgot to type in my diary yesterday & wondered where it had gone! I'm glad that Inga does not feel that I have a strong intolerance to Salicylates & it feels good to be eating the foods that I think suit my body. I am way too inclined to over-research stuff & boggle my mind with too much info. I am going to trust my instincts from now on. I will follow her instructions with cutting out dairy as much as I can though as I know cheese is high in calories anyway & I'm inclined to put weight on quickly if I eat it often.


I ordered some Organic Oat Sour Dough bread last week to put in the freezer for my sister & tried some this morning. It was YUMMY!! So, no more boring gluten-free bread from the supermarket. This is seriously good quality bread & NO WHEAT. Inga seems quite sure that's it wheat that I am intolerant to, not gluten. :biggrin: It gives me so many more options!


Body image- my LH thinks I'm thin. That is so weird because I don't think that I would be thin if I was 10kg lighter. I'm keeping very quiet about wanting to get down to 72-75kg as I don't want him sabotaging me or getting upset about it. You know & I know that 75kg is not thin. BTW- I weighed yesterday & I'm back down to 80kg, after being 80.5 last week. I'll soon get back down to 79 again, now that I'm eating more fruit & veg. I know it. I'm still having inflammation in varying parts of my body & feel very stiff & sore today. That's probably from overdoing the big walk through the bush, pulling out plants on the track the day before yesterday(in the hot sun :blush5: )


My sister- arrives on Sat. night & I'm both excited & a little nervous. I want everything to be right for her!


I am feeling very tired today & aching all over. It's my back mostly this time so I guess it is because of all the bending over, while I walked. Even though I know that I overdo it, I don't think I'll ever stop, unless I do myself a serious injury one day. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to not be active. Being so sick after Xmas was a good indication & very scary.


OK- I'm rabbiting on &boring myself now so will scoot. I had better go make up my sister's bed etc, & do some more cleaning.

Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Nothing much to report folks. Had a good day, kept within my calories, did major house cleaning, took OGS to Taekwondo etc, good night's sleep, feeling fine.
 
It has been so long since I have done this but tonight I just ate & ate. I feel bloody awful! My LH went to help cook at the pub tonight & I ate my dinner early & then had some Weis mango sorbet & then whammo! I started eating sweet stuff(chocolate, sweet biscuits, ginger, more chocolate- 8 squares all up) & it was like I couldn't stop. I'm really annoyed with myself! I have gone over my calories for the day by 201 & I haven't even had my evening fruit, which I LOVE!! I'm going to punish myself & not have any. I'm really crabby with myself. It was uncontrolled eating & inexcusable.

I'll be back in the morning, feeling very contrite & re-focussed. I had better be!! I'm getting out of here so that I don't delete this post. Grrrr!!!!:rant:
 
Hey Cate...OK, you've had your rant..and your sweets...now you're over it! Let's move on! The good news is, you're not deceiving yourself or anyone else...you did it, you admit it to yourself and to us (like we havn't had those days!) and it just happened...so forgive yourself and come back even more fired up to get on with it!

We welcome you back on the train to healthy, slimville...where we all want to go!

Sarah
 
Hey Cate...OK, you've had your rant..and your sweets...now you're over it! Let's move on! The good news is, you're not deceiving yourself or anyone else...you did it, you admit it to yourself and to us (like we havn't had those days!) and it just happened...so forgive yourself and come back even more fired up to get on with it!

We welcome you back on the train to healthy, slimville...where we all want to go!

Sarah
 
Hey Cate...OK, you've had your rant..and your sweets...now you're over it! Let's move on! The good news is, you're not deceiving yourself or anyone else...you did it, you admit it to yourself and to us (like we havn't had those days!) and it just happened...so forgive yourself and come back even more fired up to get on with it!

We welcome you back on the train to healthy, slimville...where we all want to go!

Sarah
 
AYOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! :eek:

Chocolate AND biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: :eek:

How very dare you!!!!! :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

Now seriously, my lovely, lovely friend, did you really think a 201 calorie overspend deserved a shouting at??? OK, you had a 'moment' and it wasn't a very big moment, i had 2 bigger ones than that last week!!!! And you are bloody angry with yourself so i think you have had enough punishment, also, your body was probably really needing the sugar......So i am just gonna give you a hug :grouphug: and another one :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I check up on the diaries on my phone at lunchtime at work and saw what you posted on mine and thought 'OMG, what has she done' I'm really sorry to say but i proper laughed when i started reading it :smilielol5: It sounded just like one of my 'oh shit, i've lost control' rants :smilielol5: Just think about it, we have a 'moment' get angry and then get back on track. Like Sarah said, at least we own up to them!!!!

More hugs my lovely :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: and a big sloppy kiss 'mwwaahhhhh'

Xxx
 
mmm chocolate. When i get a sweet tooth really bad i dip strawberries in splenda. the sweetness helps deter anything bad happening and i consider it like having a can of diet soda. Calorie wise the chocolate didnt seem like to much of a disaster. you could always consider it a high calorie day for calorie cycling. no worries :grouphug:
 
:blush5:

:blush5:

:blush5:

Sarah- It's the fact that I felt out of control. It was the fat me making a re-appearance. It was 'comfort eating.' It was eating for all the wrong reasons!!! OK- I'm OVER it!

We have to forgive ourselves for relapses, otherwise we don't move on. I feel sick this morning & it serves me right. What I think I will do right now is go change into my exercise gear & get on my bike! Oh, to have a gym in the building! Thanks for visiting & your words of encouragement, xo Cate


Kate- Ahhh. Katherine Tate! Love it! You made me laugh again sweetie. I so wanted to be told off. You're right though, I was hard enough on myself! I may have needed sugar but fresh fruit would have been so much better for me, & dare I say it, but I would have enjoyed it more, without the guilt. When I eat like that I don't even enjoy the taste. It's the shoving it in attitude that takes away the enjoyment of it. OK- enough berating myself! I actually feel sick this morning. It ended up being 350 over as I ate some licorice, hoping that would help this morning. Wrong. Over it, over it..... Thank you my lovely friend for the kisses & the hugs & the 'pretend yelling' that made me laugh out loud for real. Hope you feel better this morning. I'm dying to know what has made you so grumpy. Big hugs & kisses right back at you sweetie, xoxoxo Cate


Mark- I know. It doesn't sound that bad really, but it WAS. It's my attitude that was the killer. If I kept doing that I would be a big fat blimp again. It won't happen but I will reassess where I am & why I did it. I do know the triggers so that helps. I also have too much stuff in the house that I really shouldn't eat. When they're gone I won't replace them. I felt like a pantry monster last night! I'm over it, I'm over it..... Thanks for your visit. Cheers, Cate.


Today- I didn't weigh as I DON"T WANT TO KNOW!!!!!

My sister arrives tonight & I must admit I'm nervous. It's very hard to explain, but it's such a big thing her going on a plane & flying to Tasmania. She will have to wear a mask, due to her M.C.S. (Multiple Chemical Sensitivities) & will probably be exhausted when she gets here. Hopefully we will be able to do touristy things together. So much of the best of Tassie is in nature so that is what we will focus on. A lot of the time will be spent with Mum as well. I'm nervous but also very excited. I think that is why I turned into the pantry monster last night.(also my LH was working & I was HOME ALONE) I so want my sister's visit to be a really good one for her.

OK- I had better go change so I can do some more house-cleaning & also hop on the stationary bike & work off some of last night's excess .

Love to all, xoxo Cate.
 
Hours of serious cleaning today(down on hands & knees scrubbing!) & 5.15k bike, very healthy eating, NO SWEETS AT ALL TODAY. Had breakfast & lunch already- 700 cals only. Might just have vegetables for dinner, :biggrin::Angel_anim: xo Cate.

PS Just got back on my bike & did another 6k!! Whoot!! I'm getting toey waiting for it's time to go get my sister. I think I had better go have a shower! I went into the pantry before & then backed away, talking to myself, grabbed a 600ml bottle of water & demolished it! 3rd for the day at least. BACK ON TRACK & firing on all cylinders!!
 
Hi Cate!!!I just saw that you lost cntrol and went over by 201 cals!!!and you felt really bad about it...You know its not the calories cause really 200 isnt anything.Its the fact that you let yourself eat "bad" stuff like that.You wanted to be in control but you didnt manage it.But its fine!we cant always be so strick and in control ALL the time ALL the days!!!

Seems you are REALLY working those legs n the bike!I really like that you are working out more~!!!!The feeling is great isnt it?


Hope you have a lovely time with your sister~~~~!!!!:grouphug:
 
AHeya Cupcake :)

Glad i managed to make you laugh sweetie :)
I know what you mean about not even tasting it when you shovel it down and i was the same, it amazed me when i found out that so many people were the same on here. But you did the right thing, you came on here and had a bloody good rant about it, which obviously got it out of your system.
i did think that maybe you did it because you were nervous aboout you sister coming and then you said that you thought that might have been the reason, weird huh! I struggle with the home alone too. It's like my willpower goes totally out the window when i know that there is nobody there to question it.

Well done for not weighing, i'm not gonna either. I feel like a bloated whale so there is no way i wanna see!! Well done on following a 'moment' with an awesome fit day, get you and all that work!! And serious bonus points for going into the pantry and walking back out again, i think that is harder than not going in at all :hurray: :hurray:

Have a lovely time with your sister :)

Love and hugs
 
Hi Jess & Kate:)grouphug:) & anyone else reading my diary,

I woke up this morning feeling great & HUNGRY! I just had a delicious breakfast of Organic Oat toast(YUM) with 99% fat-free mayo, 1/2 an avocado, some tuna & some red onion. I think breakfast is my favourite meal of the day. Yesterday's cals were way under with my exercise, but also <1200 so got the warning about not eating enough. :biggrin: That's Friday night cancelled out!


Kate- I think finding out that there are so many who have the same thoughts as us is one of the reasons the forum is so beneficial. It's much better for our self-esteem to know that we aren't the only ones who over-eat for the 'wrong' reasons. It takes a long time to change the patterns of a lifetime, no matter how long or short that lifetime is. I'm very grateful to have found a place where I can say exactly how I feel & get support & be able to offer it to others. Thank you forum! Thank you forum friends:beating:


My sister- Had a good trip over. She actually enjoyed the flight. She wore her mask & the air steward moved a woman away from her so that no-one was up against her. It is lovely having her here already. We called in to see Mum on our way back from the airport & it felt strange driving off leaving her there. I'll have to bring her out to my home while H is here so that we can just sit around & chat.


I had better go have a read of all the diaries. Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Way to go Cate! And thanks for your thoughtful words on my diary. It really is nice to be able to share real thoughts, fears and struggles here on this forum.

Good job and on getting back on track so quickly!

Sarah
 
awh cate its one thing i really cant get used to and really dont enjoy.Breakfast.I have tried it cause you mentioned it many times but i just can do it.And if i am hungry in the morning i'll just have a koulouri(like bread stick with sessame).

Im sure your body is really gratefull for all the good energy you give it to start the day.I wish i was like that!!!


hope you have a great time with your sister!!!!
 
Hi Sarah & Jess, I'm probably not going to be on here much for the next couple of weeks as we will be scooting around doing touristy things, seeing Mum etc. I did manage to do 10 km on the bike yesterday & a 30 minute walk but today have done very little in the way of exercise. I was back down in the 70's this morning though so was very happy about that! It's lovely having my sister here & I must stop stressing about itineraries etc. I don't want her to miss out on anything that she really wants to do. I'm sure we'll have a good time. We went for a nice drive today & will go out for lunch tomorrow & are visiting caves on Wednesday, where our OS will give us a personal tour. That will be excellent! We also want to go up Cradle Mountain. So much to see! Jess- re breakfast- I had Organic oat toast with cooked vegetables on top for my breakfast this morning! Breakfast is my favourite meal! xoxo Cate
 
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