Cate's Diary

Just reporting that my mum is going into respite care tomorrow, straight from hospital. I have spent all day on the phone & have a sore throat. My brother went over to a nursing home(not mum's preferred one) & they are taking her tomorrow. They also have a permanent place available but I want mum to have respite care for a while to see if she likes it. My brother has been pressuring me to push permanent care & I have been juggling calls all day between him, hospital, our sister, the shire. I have had arguments, been a conciliator.....
I have a sore throat & I'm going out with my LH tonight to his 8-ball & I am going to have a wine or 2 (or maybe even 3!)
I'm EXHAUSTED!!
I told my sister we'll go up again together in a couple of weeks to assess how she is & if she's enjoying it or not & take it from there. It has been a gruelling day but at least our mum will not be going home to an empty house on her own. My brother said she was keen. I hope he was not lying. I will have to give him some credit.
Bye for now folks. I won't be back until tomorrow.
Apart from the sore throat I'm ok. I have just one more phone call to make at 4.30 to let the Vets affairs people know mum is going into respite (they have to pay for it!)
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
So glad to hear that things are beginning to sort themselves out... it's been a tough road! Good on you for putting on your tough and assertive voice over the telephone - even the thought of that is enough to get my twitchy!
 
Hey Cate
I had to stop by your diary and see how you are doing :)
I am glad everything is well, I know it's been tough reading from your diary with your mom and I wish you and your family the best <3

You are a very strong person, someone great to look upto and I am glad our paths have crossed, thank you again for dropping by my diary, I am very glad :)
 
Hi Nevergiveup, That's sweet of you to come visit me in here :D Thank you! I'm feeling much stronger today but did over-indulge a little in the wine last night- my 2 or 3 became 4! Slight head-ache today but otherwise good. It was good to get out & not think about anything serious for a while. It is getting to the stage where I have to mention our OS's separation & that is getting a little easier. It was not easy having to go to his home last night on the way as it felt sad not having the grand-kids there. My LH felt particularly sad & I said it should get better as we get used to it. It will be nice when he has them to stay if we go around for a while I think. He's such a lovely man, that husband of mine :beating:
I'm off to Tai Chi again today. It's freezing out there- about 1 or 2oC maybe- foggy, frosty, brrrr.
Nothing much to say today. I am thinking about my mum going home with my brother to pick up clothes etc & that feels very sad. Nothing I can do to change it though. :(
Lots of love to you all. Thank you so much much for all the support, xoxo Cate
 
Just rang my mum in the home where she is having respite care & she is REALLY happy with it. I am so relieved that I could cry tears of joy! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders!
Love to all, xoxoxo Cate
 
I was going to post a few motivational quotes as I'm meant to be flying to Melbourne tomorrow, depending on the volcanic ash cloud from Chile, but just got a call from my YS who will be arriving any minute for a surprise visit(one night only). I am looking after the grand-kids from about 12.30-4.30, then taking the OGS to Tae Kwon Do & having him for the night. A very busy day coming up. My YS is thinking of moving back up this way apparently(this week's idea anyway) so will hear all about that. I haven't got anything packed yet!
Better scoot before he gets here & get the dishes done at least.
Much love, xoxo Cate
 
Yesterday-
Got even more full on! Our OS & DIL got back from the ap't & we invited them to stay after negotiating with our OGS not to go to Tae Kwon Do & we ended up having a really nice dinner. For some strange reason It didn't even feel weird. Our DIL was even filling in forms to do with their separation while she was here as they had to go in the post this morning. I'm glad we're all coping fairly well with it.
I'm going away this morning with friends & won't be back until Sunday.
Lots of love, Cate.
 
We got back from our trip this afternoon & I am so glad to be back, :D, even though the skies have opened up & it is bucketing down. Fresh air- Lovely! I could never live in a city again!
It was a mixed week-end. On Friday night our friends had a spat & disappeared & we were left on our own, which felt weird as we had a dinner planned with them. They had both been a bit tense I thought, especially her, but it was still a surprise. Next morning she apologised when my LH rang their room & we arranged to have breakfast together. The rest of the w/e they seemed fine. Who knows?
Last night we went to the football & had a lovely night, although our team was beaten. We caught up with our old friends & they took us into the members at the MCG. We were shown around & had dinner there & also caught up with many other old friends, unexpectedly, including a guy I used to work with back in the '70's who married my then best friend. It was a lovely surprise & I gave him our contact details. It would be nice if she re-established contact. :)
We are both very tired and are looking forward to sleeping in our own bed. I haven't rung anyone & will ring mum tomorrow. I need to fly over again before mid July. :( I would like to be a hermit for a while but that's not to be.
I think I'll go settle back in my comfy chair & read the paper for a while with a herbal tea. It's nice to be home.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
My brother rang again last night & dampened my mood somewhat. He is putting LOTS of pressure on me to have our mum put away permanently. He said he could probably do it anyway without my consent but doesn't want to upset our sister. He had already told me that I needed to go up there before the 13th July as her finances have to be sorted before then if she is to go into permanent care. He is in such a hurry to have her put away. He has even asked one of his real estate mates how much we should get from the sale of her home. Mum has no idea about any of this. He will drive me crazy before this is over but only because I am trying hard to stay on the right side of him. Not easy!
I will ring mum soon to see how she is. In the meantime I'll look at air fares again. They're high for some reason.
I'll be back later, xo Cate
 
My mum sounds really happy so that made me feel much better! She said she doesn't want to go home at all. She thought it a good idea for my sister & I to go up & get the house sorted. Next week will be the best time I think & the sooner we get to see her & know that she's happy the better I think. Still haven't talked to my sister today. I don't think she has surfaced yet as she hasn't been on Facebook.
xo Cate
 
So much changes in a day! My brother rang me night before last. In his haste to have our mum put away he failed to ask how much the bond is. HUGE!! Her house would have to be sold very quickly(in Winter) & interest would have to be paid in the mean time(@9%!) I told him not to sign anything. he's away for 2 days. After a fairly sleepless night I headed into town & called into the low care hostel. I have never set foot in this one, only the high care place. I was lucky to be given a big tour and was given all the details. I LOVED the place!! The bond is $130,000 LESS than the other one!!
Now I'm a woman on a mission!!!
I need to convince my brother that it is a good idea to bring mum over to Tassie. $130,000 less will appeal to him!
I need to convince my mum that it's a good idea. She was very keen when I first suggested it before.
I need to go up there next week regardless, either to just visit her & sort out some things in her house
OR-
to pack up her things & bring her back to Tassie.

I know there are 2 rooms available but I forgot to ask how long before they are ready. They paint each one. I may bring her back to my place until it is ready. Even before I knew about the local nursing home my husband said I could bring her over to stay with us for a while. :beating: He's such a darling!

It has been so up and down lately. I'll be pleased when life gets back on an even keel. Hopefully!!
My weight went up for a couple of weeks(did some stress eating- not good) but I have it down out of the danger zone again & am working at getting it down a bit more, slowly but surely.
Love to you all. Wish me luck!
xoxo Cate
 
Wow, Cate, that is a lot of change overnight. Good luck convincing your brother and your mum that the change is for the best. I hope and pray it works out for you all. I confess, I know nothing about bonds and hostels. It all sounds very confusing and stressful. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it, but it sounds like you're doing a great job.

As you said in my journal, we will look back on all this and be proud that we survived a rocky time (ok, that's not exactly what you said, but something like that).

Have a good day. Sending good thoughts and hugs across the miles.
 
Hi Misty and thanks for your support. I really do appreciate it. I have convinced my brother that it is a good idea!! Now for Mum.
I am booked to fly to Victoria one way next Monday & hopefully will bring my mum back with me, with as much baggage as we can bring back. I'm not taking a suitcase over. I'm not sure when we'll fly back but there is a room available at the end of next week in the home near me. I have to print up all the forms & may have to fax them from up there. They look a little daunting, but as I said in the motivational thread-
I am a woman, on a mission.....?
Had better go- blood bank this morning, grandson this afternoon.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
cate said:
Hi Misty and thanks for your support. I really do appreciate it. I have convinced my brother that it is a good idea!! Now for Mum.
I am booked to fly to Victoria one way next Monday & hopefully will bring my mum back with me, with as much baggage as we can bring back. I'm not taking a suitcase over. I'm not sure when we'll fly back but there is a room available at the end of next week in the home near me. I have to print up all the forms & may have to fax them from up there. They look a little daunting, but as I said in the motivational thread-
I am a woman, on a mission.....?
Had better go- blood bank this morning, grandson this afternoon.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
Click to expand...

I hope everything goes well with you cate and have a good trip!!
 
Thanks AnnaGail & thank you for visiting my diary. I will be much happier if I can bring my mum back home with me. Fingers & toes crossed!
I called back into the home yesterday afternoon with my LH & got all the necessary forms & some photos to show mum. I won't need to fax them- just ring & let them know for sure asap. We selected what we thought was the best room for her- there are 4 vacant ones, which is a stroke of luck. Sadly it's because many elderly people die in Winter.
I don't know how long I'll be away & forgot to make sure I have enough medication for myself & I don't. I think I'll ring my LH & ask if he can pick it up on the way home, rather than make a trip today. I need to pack as we're away all w/e, with 8-ball.
I'm still running on adrenaline & feel fairly nervy. I hope this all gets resolved soon. Both our son's have a lot of stress atm, therefore so do we. Life will settle......soon....
I'll pop back later.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Just to let you know I possibly won't get a chance to post between now & the end of next week. I have a full-on week-end & then will be away, probably won't get back home until the end of next week, at the earliest & won't have a computer.
I'll be fine. I either bring my mum back with me or I don't. The world won't come to an end either way. Wish me luck that my mum will think it's a good idea & be happy to come home with me :beating:
Lots of love to you all. I know that i have lots of support & I feel I'm doing the right thing & with all the best of intentions. I love my mum & want to be able to see her for as long as I can. I really care for her & I think she will be better off living near me. I wouldn't be considering this if I didn't feel strongly about it.
Lots of love to you all, xoxo Cate
 
Good luck, Cate! I hope your mum is thrilled to return with you. Sounds like you have the right attitude and that will get you through no matter what. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way.
 
I felt that hug Misty & will take it with me for strength. I know that my brother & sister also think it's a good idea so that's helpful.
Just popped in quickly before we head off to town. My LH had a good day in the competition yesterday and only has to hold his position today to make the final week-end in the state try-outs. He played very well yesterday!
Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
My LH didn't have a good day but just scraped into the finals, which will be in a few weeks. :)
I'm packed to fly out tomorrow & what will be, will be. I won't be in here for a week I reckon. I can't imagine being back home until Friday at least. Wish me luck!
Lots and lots of love to you all, xoxo Cate
 
I'm home & I have my mother with me :D
I am so exhausted, you just couldn't imagine how much! I'll tell you more about it all when I'm not so tired but my mum seems really happy to be here. I still have a lot to do- getting her room ready for her to go into it on Wed. & my LH won't be home any day between now & then but I will just have to do it, so I will.....somehow.
I had better go get her dinner ready as she eats early. Next Friday we go to Hobart but will only not visit her one day so that won't be a problem. It will be lovely to be able to relax for 2 nights. I can see a party happening!
Better go- her book has been put down & she is prob. getting hungry.
Lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
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