Cate's Diary

Changed my avatar-
a) because I realised I had stolen the damsel one from eleni chris
b) because the freaking out watermelon reflects how I am feeling today.
Long story- all connected to my youngest son. Fast forward to Sat afternoon & he's on that plane!!!!!!!!!!
 
Changed my avatar-
a) because I realised I had stolen the damsel one from eleni chris
b) because the freaking out watermelon reflects how I am feeling today.
Long story- all connected to my youngest son. Fast forward to Sat afternoon & he's on that plane!!!!!!!!!!

Love the avatar, Cate! hehe
It kinda looks like me when I have pms LOL

Hope you have a stunning day!!

Greetings, Luvbug:seeya:
 
Oh Luvbug, If you only knew how I really was yesterday you would have realised that having a stunning day in a good way was way out of the equation. Thank you though for thinking of me. I was teetering on the edge, freaking out, close to tears, pacing, panicking....... I think you get my drift.
Thank you CohenInAz!!!!
Caz helped calm me down with some advice & it is very much appreciated!
Stress eating- Yesterday reminded me how I got so over-weight in the first place. There is no point detailing what I ate. I didn't actually enjoy anything I ate when I was really stressed out. I just stuffed it in my mouth! Gross! I'm an extra kg today & feel absolutely disgusting. The feeling that you have let yourself down is the worst part.
Today-
I have Tai Chi & feel very fragile. I hope I don't burst into tears like I did a few weeks ago. I find it really embarrassing feeling vulnerable & especially being teary. I'm so used to hiding how I feel & I don't really have a lot to be teary about. I'm mainly upset at myself for binging yesterday. I will try to tell myself what I would tell others in the same situation. Forgive myself, learn by it & move forward. Eat healthily, drink lots of water, take care of myself, love myself. OMG. It's just good to type that & it made me smile. I don't mind if you all think I'm whacky! xo Cate
 
The freaky watermelon was Cate yesterday.
Today is Zen!
Well it is, until I find a better one.
xo Cate, Ommmmmm
 
Hi Cate! Hope you are feeling MUCH better today.

I've been just plodding on the program, and realised yesterday I have to pull myself into line, stop mucking around and get on to losing the second half of the weight that I plan to.

However, I've not been down about it, just realising that I can't sit comfortably here, no matter how much better I feel. Trouble is, I'm happy with my range of clothes, my husband keeps telling me how much better I look and how proud of me he is, and it's easy to just feel self-satisfied and not get serious about it right now.

I hope your son doesn't have too much more angst before he departs. Unfortunately all my kids have ventured overseas and seem to have done so with barely a second thought as to how they'd go, making ME have all the angst! There must be a happy middle somewhere along the line.

Well, I'm on track today. Am staying away from shops, and making sure I have only good food around me, which helps. Hope you're on track too, and that the Zen avatar means some calm has descended on you today!

One kg over isn't the end of the world - very easy to fix at this point, so hope it disappears as quickly as it came!
 
Hi Niyah- It did. Gone, along with an extra .5kg. So back to GW + only .5kg. I was so relieved but also just because I did not stress eat yesterday at all. It's the feeling of taking back control that is making me feel better. Plus our son did not ring me until last night & sounded comparatively good. No news is usually good news with him. My LH actually suggested I could catch a bus down a day earlier but I have decided not to. It would mean that neither of us got any sleep tonight as he would give up his bed for me & sleep on the couch & he does have to learn to cope on his own. My LH is able to work earlier so can finish at 3.30pm tomorrow. I am picking him up from work & we're driving straight to Hobart so will be there about 6pm Fri. He does not fly out until 4.30pm Sat.
Relaxing today-
I have spoken to him this morning & he seems more in control & ok so I am going to relax, after I have typed up a few addresses of hostels etc for him. I do need to stew some apples as I have a big basket full of them!
Maintenance land is ok. Stress is not. I must not do that again! It only compounded the stress.
Cheers for now, Cate.
 
Hi Cate, thanks for popping in on my diary.
Glad to see things are better now. I know all about emotional eating, as I guess we all do here, but it seems to be rarely a problem. The stress related eating anyway. I wish you all the best with that. When you deal with stress in healthier ways, you feel so much more in control hey?

Hope you have a great day today.
 
Thanks L-Jay-
I do feel much better today but I wouldn't say I feel relaxed. I feel better for not stuffing my face. Our son sounded so much better yesterday so I then felt better too. I have had a head-ache for most of each day this week. I slept well last night though.
We are driving down to Hobart this afternoon & it's raining steadily now. I'll take it easy. We will probably pick him up first, have a quick look at his bag, go check into our hotel & then go out for a couple of hours. The plan is then to go back to his place with some take-away & watch a DVD with his gf. My LH wants to watch the footy as our team is playing tonight. We'll probably end up staying out & watching the footy so we had better have a good look at his bag first. I hope he & his gf will be ok. I would imagine he's having 2nd thoughts about going away because of her as they have been getting closer & closer to one another. It was always her idea not to get too attached as she had come out of a 3 year relationship just before him & had been hurt. I do like her a lot.
Last night our son sounded very positive on FB. I hope he's at the looking forward to it stage when we get down there tonight. I feel a little sick about him heading off on his own. He's not exactly brimming with self-confidence. You never know this trip could bring that confidence. I hope so. He is very much like me in so many ways.
Emotional eating-
I think is very common. Stress eating is much more common than we think. Some people smoke when stressed. Some over-eat. Some drink too much alcohol. Some do combinations or all of these things! I've been guilty of each at one stage in my life. They all make it much worse. Overcoming stress without reaching for any of these things takes serious self-talk & strength. I'm getting there. I'm a lot stronger & a lot more self-aware than I have ever been. I don't see it as a weakness any more. Overcoming it or dealing with stress without resorting to a quick fix is a very empowering thing. One of my strategies is to get a good book & sit down on my chair with a large pot of herbal tea next to me. Next thing you know there's a dog or 2 on my lap, I'm into a story & the stress fades into the background. Some like listening to relaxation tapes. Personally I find most of them irritating, especially the ones with birds singing loudly & with running water. Give me peace & quiet any day!
Today-
I am going to finish my morning coffee, do the dishes, pack a bag for tonight & try to relax for a few hours before picking my LH up from work. I have been googling, msg friends (Caz- thanks again!) typing up some info for our son to take with him re phone numbers to ring if stuff goes missing etc, sending him electronic copies etc & I need to chill out & not think about it. He's as organised as he will ever be & there is no need to panic. What's not done now is either too bad or can be organised later.
One of the women at Tai Chi asked me where he was going & when I said the Galapagos Islands she said there had been a volcano erupt there & I laughed & said very funny. Last night I saw it had actually happened. OMG! At least it happened now & not after he gets there. I don't know if it will affect his planned trip or not. I sent her a text msg & she replied that I had said that if he died from a natural disaster I would be able to cope with that. I repied "True!" I'm not so sure about that.
Yesterday I felt like something sweet after my dinner & had some stewed fruit & plain yoghurt. I then had 2 squares of dark chocolate & no more. I did it. Restraint. Now that makes me feel good. I can do it. Eating sweet things usually leads to wanting to eat lots of sweet things for me, so I won't get back into that habit. I enjoyed my 2 squares & stopped. I can do it.
I'm boring myself today so had better head off. I hope everyone is coping with their busy lives. There is always an excuse for eating off plan but there are many more sound reasons for taking control of your life & sticking to it. Achieving what you set out to achieve is reward in itself. Be strong, be happy & be proud! I hope you all have a lovely week-end & take good care of yourselves, xo Cate.
 
Whoo hoo for Cate!!!

I then had 2 squares of dark chocolate & no more. I did it. Restraint. Now that makes me feel good. I can do it. Eating sweet things usually leads to wanting to eat lots of sweet things for me, so I won't get back into that habit. I enjoyed my 2 squares & stopped. I can do it.

That is wonderful, Cate! Usually I just stay away from sweets all together, cause when I start, I can't stop. It's amazing to see that you can do it! Bravo!
I know now that I will be able to do it too..
Way to go! :D

Keep well, Luvbug
xxx
 
Niyah- Thank you. I am so glad we had that trip down to farewell him. It's much better to be picturing him as he was yesterday & Friday night than how he was early last week. It was so nice. He was nervous but also very excited. We are so very much alike & I can actually really imagine all the emotions he is experiencing. You understand the love we have for our children. It can be overwhelming at times. I wish the tears would stop! xo Cate
Luvbug- I'm glad I can be an example, albeit far from a perfect one! I'm only human & every now & then all logic goes out the window. I felt so much worse for abusing my body with garbage that day last week where I was stressed to the max. That's what it was- abuse. We deserve to care for ourselves. That's another day I have put down to experience, another lesson learned. xo Cate
Today-
You don't see this colour very often in my diary but I do feel sad (not depressed). It's a kind of happy/sad. I'm happy that our son is such a good, loving & caring person. I'm happy that he loves us so much & knows that we love him. He carries that with him wherever he goes & so do I. I'm sad because I think he & his girlfriend are truly in love & I worry that it may not survive his trip. I know that if it does/doesn't then it is meant to be & have talked to him about it. They have had a really good talk. I really like this girl. I think they have something special just like us & they are both going through what we went through 34 years ago. That's why I am feeling so sad. I can't stop crying. My poor husband feels the same. Luckily for him he has the distraction of work.
I'm sitting here typing away & tears are running down my face. I'm feeling for her. I was the one left behind all those years ago. We had been living together for 3 &1/2 yrs when he went away & we did almost everything together. I cried myself to sleep every night for about 6 weeks. I told her about it on Friday night but without being sad. She has lots of friends & her own interests & has retained her independence. What will be will be. I'm going to have to try to be positive about this & still hope that they will get back together when he gets home.

On a different note (& colour) his house is looking great & will be ready to rent out in a couple of weeks. He is looking forward to moving back into it. The kitchen & bathroom have been gutted & re-fitted, it is almost re-painted throughout & it is looking excellent. I'm fairly sure he will move back into it at the end of the year. He also has a very strong possibility of a job in hospitality where he belongs. Money won't be as important to him when he gets home I'm sure. Working in a factory (even a chocolate factory-Cadbury's) won't have much appeal. He owns a house(half-owns) and will have travelled the world so everything will be different.
I can't tune out to his travels as he wants me to check on his bank account daily to make sure he has just enough money in his Visa debit account but not too much! We'll see about that. When he is on a tour I don't think I'll be checking as I want to have a bit of a breather some of the time. 8 months of heightened awareness won't be good for me.
OK. Good. The tears have ceased. I'm going to sit with a book for the rest of the day. Donna Leon's 2nd Commisario Brunetti one. I picked it up from the library on Friday with the sole purpose of burying myself in it today.
See you good folks later, Cate.

PS Forgot to say- Our son msg'd me as he was going through the gate that he was fighting back tears. I msgd him back that he was doing better than me, but they were happy/sad tears because I love him so much. He then msgd me to say he was like Niagara Falls. That really made me cry. Now I'm crying again! xoCate
 
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Well.....today is another day. I exchanged a few msg's on FB with my son's GF & feel better. Now I just have to be positive. I had a really good night's sleep & he should be arriving in Rio about now.
I'm going into town today just to get out of the house for a couple of hours & our OGS stays Monday night so I'll have his company from 3.30pm.
I'm happy with my weight at the moment. I seem to have stabilised nicely. Re-feed will do that. Also maintenance guidelines. Doesn't mean you can't have a sweet or a drink. You just have to follow the guidelines as to when is the best time & what to have beforehand.
There is snow on the mountains today & it's quite chilly.
I'll be back later to see if anyone is about. Cheers, Cate
 
Glad everything went so well. Hopefully your son's trip will blow away some cobwebs and make him decide what is truly important in his life. If it is his girlfriend, then perhaps it will be when he gets back. He'll no doubt be much more settled whatever happens.

I'm struggling through EOM and looking forward to some brighter days this coming week!
 
Hi Cate

I am new too this site and I have been trying to start a diary but I don't see any new thread, would you please help me.

regards
Mirjam
 
Hi Mirjam & welcome to the forum. If you are on the Cohen's Lifestyle Program go to Cohen's Lifestyle - Weight Loss Forum & you will see an orange coloured rectangle with the words New Thread. Click on that & away you go!
If not on Cohen's then the place to start would be-
Nutrition, Health & Fitness, Weight Loss, Diet - Weight Loss Forum have a look about there & if you want to start a diary click on Weight Loss Diary & you will end up at-
Weight Loss Diary - Weight Loss Forum where you will see another orange rectangle saying New Thread & that's where you can put your diary.
Namibia- Wow! You're the first person I have seen in the forum from Namibia. Let me know if you still can't find your place in here or have any other queries, cheers, Cate
 
oooo Cate, you are on FB too? Hey add me! It's great feeling to be back again and losing weight ;) Hope to hit another 600g to halfway mark by tmr...so exciting!
 
Hi Flamie, It's great seeing you so cheerful. I love it!
I feel so much better today & did not shed one tear yesterday. I am going to try to be very positive & not worry.
The more you worry the more you worry!
I am going to go out to 8-ball with my LH & OS tonight. I couldn't go last week as they had a car-full-they share the driving & only take one car. I will probably go every second week as I spend so much time at home on my own & it's also a chance to spend some time with our older son, without any little kids about.
Computer- I am using our YS's laptop & it's lovely. He gave me his old one, which I usually use but this one is nice! He was going to sell it but didn't want to. He owed us some money so instead of him selling it to someone else, in effect he owes us nothing, I 'own' the computer & he can buy it back for the same amount when he returns if he wants to. I'm sure he will & it will be hard to part with it. It has a huge screen & unlike mine the battery lasts ages so I can sit in my chair with it on my lap which is nice now that it's turned into Winter, almost overnight.
Today- I must get out of the house & go for a walk because it's a beautiful sunny day. Cold but sunny & no wind at all.
My weight is very stable & I have re-introduced some carb's, this time without any ill-effects like bloating or stomach cramps. Touch wood. I'll keep monitoring it though. I'm looking forward to seeing a nutritionist though. It should be fun.
Cheers for now, Cate.
 
Glad you're able to feel more relaxed and at peace about the whole trip now. Usually that's the way with life. The agonies of preparation and worry beforehand about what we might need/need to know/do are great, and once we set off, our plans just happen, or get made along the way!

I've sent you a PM - just some stuff I didn't really want to write on here, but no need for a response. Just having a "reflection day", though I really need to get my head stuck into work!
 
Hi Cate,

I'm glad to see that you're feeling so much better :) :hurray:

The love you have for your family is amazing -- you must be an awesome mom :D

Winter also came overnight here as well and I'm sooo cold all the time! Even when other people are not cold hehe

Congrats on the carbs! That must be a huge achievement for you ;)
Which kind of carbs upset your stomach? Bread and pasta? That's my 2 favourite things :p

I saw in your other post that you mentioned football. Is that rugby and are you referring to the super 14? And who's your team?? :coolgleamA:

Enjoy your day and the sun, while it's out.

Keep well, Luvbug :seeya:
 
Hi Luvbug, That's sweet! I hope that I'm a good Mum! I do have a lot of love for my family. Sometimes it can feel very overwhelming.
The carbs I had the most trouble with are bread or any wheat products. I am not going to have bread often but it's good to not have bloating when I do. I am also eating some carb vegies like potato, pumpkin & green beans. So far, so good. I'll keep an eye on it.
I think it's the highly processed white carbs I should avoid but I think that's a wise move from a general health perspective anyway.
The footy I talk about is Australian Rules football & the team I barrack for is St Kilda or the Saints as we call them. It's nothing like rugby. It's hugely popular, especially in Melbourne.
I'm about to head out to 8-ball with my LH (lovely husband) so will say good-night to my forum buddies, xo Cate
 
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