FlaMie- No need to be jealous sweety. You, too will lose your excess weight. I'll be jealous of you eating that yummy, fresh, seafood! I wish I could twitch my nose & be transported somewhere to buy beautiful Asian clothes. Hanoi would be nice! I would fit into them now! Still probably size L but who cares? Cheers, cate
Still only .5kg over my LW.
I drop weight & then my body adjusts to that & I feel myself shrink a little bit more. I now look pretty good even in undies. TMI probably. I find myself looking in the mirror all of the time when there is no-one about. Better watch that. I might get caught. It is such a fine line between vanity & learning to love yourself. I have always disliked vanity. I also have spent most of my life thinking that I am not anything special. I lived in my older sister's shadow as a child. She was always the clever one & the pretty one. I was always the easy one (read invisible). I'm ok about it all now. You can't change what happened in your childhood. I was still quite a happy child. One thing she was able to do before she died was make me feel really special. We did lots of talking in the last five years of her life and it reversed a lot of my thinking about myself. I discovered that she had envied me. I was really shocked! No-one ever had high expectations about me but they sure did about her. She was never happy, always striving for bigger & better things & never being satisfied.
When I visited her in the US on my own, 2nd time, we really talked & talked. I was with her for 3 months. She was so ill & so was her husband & I took over responsibility for almost everything in the household, including ordering her med's(Morphine etc), administering them, arranging appointments etc. It was quite traumatic &, looking back I stepped up into the role of big sister. Before I left I had her organised with a portable oxygen pack & able to change her own bottles so that she could go out with them. She was back on her feet.
I started typing then & went on a bit about that but will leave it in as I need to remind myself what I am capable of.
What I was trying to say is I think I am now able to sort out my feelings about always feeling like I was unimportant & not so bright because of my childhood & can put them behind me & move on. My sister helped me feel really good about myself. She had so much faith in me & helped me realise that I am really capable and a good, kind person. Her husband, who I also loved a lot, used to say that I was "such a good person". I love that! They both made me feel really special and I still have that feeling with me. Sometimes it hides & then I have to remind myself. My sis thought I could do almost anything!
Enough of all that as I now feel a little teary. It's ok though as it's good teary. There is such a thing!
Time to head off & do a bit of house-work. I'm hurting a little still today after all that heavy lifting yesterday but had a really good night's sleep- about 9 hours! I rubbed Metsal into my shoulders & that helps & a really hot shower this morning.
We are getting a quote on covering the entrance to our house ( a really big verandah) on Monday afternoon I think. We don't have much money left but I would love to have it done as it would be lovely for Winter to have a covered entrance & also a place to sit in the sun when it's not too windy. Fingers crossed that we can afford it!
Also the work will be finished this afternoon with the bobcat so I will be able to park my car back in the garage tomorrow. Yay!
Cheers for now, cate.
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to you, too Caz 
! I just finished reading Barack Obama's book "Dreams from my Father". It was excellent. It helps to give an understanding of where he has come from. How are you going? I haven't been over to check your diary out for a week I think so had better rectify that today, xo Cate.
