Cate's Diary

Thanks, LaMa. I will continue to reassess what feels right for me & will see how I feel at the end of the year. I know others, G included, want me to stay, but I must do what makes me feel comfortable & happy & I can't say that is the case right now. I do love playing golf though. I'm loving getting outside & going for a walk & I can see that extending. I feel so much better afterwards.
 
The 2 km walk a day sounds really great! I bet it will help enormously. I really hope R and C can work things out eventually - that's really hard to watch and not be able to do anything about, but great that your son confides in you and trusts your judgement so much. I think you are doing really well with the whole thing, and it's great you and G have each other to commiserate.
 
alligatorob said:
Is it the racism thing you discussed previously that's the problem?
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That's only one of the things really. I don't have many beliefs in common with most of the women but can get along with them ok. It's more the general feel of the club & how it is being run by an aggressive group of men & there is even more animosity between the different groups there. I'm doing my best to stay out of the gossip, but you still hear it. I'll sort myself out. I don't want to give up golf if I can help it.
Marsia said:
The 2 km walk a day sounds really great! I bet it will help enormously. I really hope R and C can work things out eventually - that's really hard to watch and not be able to do anything about, but great that your son confides in you and trusts your judgement so much. I think you are doing really well with the whole thing, and it's great you and G have each other to commiserate.
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The walk is helping my mood a lot & also helping get to my steps. I will raise them as I go.
It is good that R confides in me in that he has someone to run things by, but it also takes its toll on me. I really want him to have what we have!

I'm off to my GP today to get my health plan organised for the year. I can see an allied health professional 5 times in total for free for the year. I haven't decided which one yet....This is aside from my mental health plan where I can have 10 visits in one year. I also will tell her I am going to ask the cardio for a recommendation for a different BP medication to see if it is affecting my weight.
TMI warning-I am also having trouble with constipation & my system seems to be clogged. I recently did the Bowel cancer test & it was clear. I'll ask her if it's a good idea to do a colon cleanse. I feel I really need to.

It's a beautiful morning here- cold but sunny :)
 
Cate said:
That's only one of the things really. I don't have many beliefs in common with most of the women but can get along with them ok. It's more the general feel of the club & how it is being run by an aggressive group of men & there is even more animosity between the different groups there. I'm doing my best to stay out of the gossip, but you still hear it. I'll sort myself out. I don't want to give up golf if I can help it.
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Some times you can do more good leading by example. That is particularly true with the racism problem. The club may benefit from having good people like you. On the other hand, maybe its time to look for a new club. I have never been a golfer. In college I worked for a time at a golf course as a waterboy and sand trap raker, it did not make the whole thing look very attractive. Hard work and arrogant golfers, the pros were the worst, I was at the bottom of the totem pole and they let me know it.
 
That's a tough call - the aggressive club-runners and the infighting sounds the hardest part to deal with, to me. :(

The walking, on the other hand, sounds great! I hope there's beautiful trees along the way, whether garden or parkland or bush!
 
Thanks, Rob, LaMa & Amy. I'll work it out. I think joining another club would probably not be much different. I won't ever go back to being as involved as I once was or taken for granted like I used to be.
I'm loving my walking even when I don't feel like it.
I have had a very up & down day. I started off feeling on top of the world but came crashing down after my doctor's visit, for no real reason. I'm seeing a dietician next week & also have a referral to see an orthopaedic surgeon to get in the queue to have my feet operated on. I have bunions & a hammertoe & they are getting worse. I have tried to ignore it, but the walking has been hurting so I actually showed my GP today. She worries that I will start having falls. I think it's time I bit the bullet & overcome my fears about them being stuffed up. If I leave it until I am old then I won't have the ability to get around on crutches nor recover as well as I could now. It scares me though. I think most of the toe bones in my right foot will have to be broken & reset. Scary.
That's what got me really down today. My weight is getting me down too. I was down half a kilo this morning but it felt meaningless as it's on-again, off-again & is frustrating.
I'll leave this rant here. Tomorrow is another day!
 
The thought of surgery is usually scary/depressing. But you're so right not to leave it till you DO start falling!
 
Hi Cate, sorry your feet are bothering you so much, but really good you are getting this taken care of before they get even worse and require months and months of time to heal from surgery. It does sound scary, but also remember to keep thinking about having your toes properly aligned again and no longer in pain! Can you get some cushy shoe inserts in the mean time to reduce the pain?

I haven't even really gone through my daughter starting to date yet (except for one ruined friendship because he asked her to a dance and it turned out to be on a dare), and can't imagine worrying about getting her heart broken or ending up with someone who isn't going to really appreciate her. I can't imagine how hard it is to see your son struggling. I am glad you are doing so great walking away the stress!

Have you tried sesame seeds with the hulls still on for constipation? I put them in a little cup and pour them in my mouth to eat them. They are so good for you and so high in fiber 15 Health and Nutrition Benefits of Sesame Seeds . I actually take them after a too high calorie day, too, and it moves the food along faster so I often don't gain weight from a bad day if I remember to take them. I take a lot- probably 1/4 cup (50 grams). It's high calorie, but I figure the health benefits from the magnesium alone make it worth it.

Is the low carb diet not helping you? I hope it isn't like with me and now I have to do both low carb and IF to actually lose weight. It seems to be harder and harder to lose the less I weigh. And the calorie counter keeps dropping my calories with every pound I lose, so it's down to about 1290 calories a day now. I really hope you can do some form of IF. That has really made the difference for me - thank you for introducing me to it!!

Hugs and hope you can find your happy place again really soon!!!
 
Marsia said:
I actually take them after a too high calorie day, too, and it moves the food along faster so I often don't gain weight from a bad day if I remember to take them.
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I hate to be a downer but if laxatives don´t reduce the amount of calories absorbed by your body sesame seeds definitely won´t. So 50 g of sesame seeds may help you empty out your gut more quickly so the scale doesn´t look quite as bad the next morning but in the long run all those calories PLUS the almost 300 kcal from the seeds are still going into your body.
 
Thanks, LaMa & Marsia.
I have been awake for a couple of hours & it's only 4.30 am now :( I got out of bed an hour ago as I was tossing & turning. I have been going over & over the situation with R & C. It breaks my heart. It is also our GD's birthday today & I don't think we are going to see her. I got a message from her Dad asking if I can have the kids 2 Saturdays in August, but when I asked what E was doing for her birthday he didn't give me a straight answer. She may be staying at her mum's instead of with him, but I don't know. It would be nice to be invited if they were celebrating together.
I'll try to go back to bed soon I think. We don't have anything planned for the weekend.
 
Yes, I really hope you made it back to sleep ok! I have had that "one that got away" experience, and it is intensely painful, but made me mature a lot facing it. So even if it wasn't meant to be with R and C, he knows that kind of love, and he knows how he needs to work on himself now. Not the outcome that anyone hopes for (and really hoping his situation can be salvaged), but those of us who are lucky enough to really, really love someone like that at least once in life are very very blessed. I am lucky enough to have a second one that didn't get away, and I bet R will, too, if this doesn't work for them now.

I hope you can do something special with your granddaughter on another day and give her a second birthday!!

Sending all the hugs!!!!!!
 
LaMaria said:
I hope you ended up having some sound sleep!
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I went back to bed at 5 am & slept reasonably soundly until 9, so made up for it.
Thanks, Marsia.I enjoyed those hugs :beating: I can't change what happens with them so I have to try really hard not to dwell on it.
I just "spoke" to our GD on messenger. She had friends coming around & they have bailed on her! R was on messenger so I sent him her link & he just video called her & they had a lovely chat apparently. Between the 2 of them, they have semi-arranged to catch up at our house for dinner in a few weeks, so we'll make that a late birthday dinner. Hopefully, that will be ok with D, our older son.
 
Oh, that's so crappy her friends did that. I hope she doesn't dwell on it and can make new friends who are really there for her. Glad you are doing better about R, and that you got good sleep!! Happy weekend!!
 
Marsia said:
Oh, that's so crappy her friends did that. I hope she doesn't dwell on it and can make new friends who are really there for her.
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Isn't it, though? She becomes a teenager today &, as I said to G, they are too. I hope her Mum does something nice with her.
Happy weekend to you, too xoxo
 
Hey Cate, it really sucks to read about the issues you’re having at the club. That’s exactly why I never became a member anywhere and only play with hacks. I cannot stand golfers that take themselves or the game seriously. It’s always the same attitude.

Can you just play as a casual public player somewhere else and avoid the other politics?
 
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