Cate's Diary

I hope no-one thought I sounded really conceited because I'm not. It has taken me a year to be able to accept a compliment & feel good about it. It's nice now & I do feel comfortable with being slim. I'm not thin or skinny but feel slim and healthy. It has been a long time since I felt this way. I feel comfortable even with the extra attention I now get. It's sad that over-weight people are mainly ignored but I think that's why I was. I hid behind my fat.
We had a lovely prawn stir-fry tonight. It was delicious. I did have half a glass of wine so have not been 100% Cohen's, although am following maintenance guidelines and less than re-feed quantities. No bread or milk.
I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow except for knowing I need to get some exercise. I'll either go for a long walk or get on the exercise bike.
I bought a dress today!!
Golly, I nearly forgot. I haven't worn a dress for over 20 years & today I bought a dress. It was at an op-shop and only cost $5. It's a deep red dress with a little self-embroidery on the front and small red buttons and is almost down to my ankles. It will be really cool for Summer. It has short sleeves, Empress(??)neck-line and is a light-weight floaty thing. I have deep red sandles that will match and a choker that will match also I'm fairly sure. I even have matching ear-rings which I made myself to match the choker. I'll take a photo of myself in the outfit & post it if it passes muster.
I left my jeans & sneakers on when I tried it on so I'm not sure how my legs will look in it. Now I'll have to work on trying to love my legs!
My LH is watching the football. He's such a sports addict. I can't watch as much as he can. I tune out in here instead. Hopefully someone will be about. I'll have to visit elsewhere otherwise. Cheers, Cate
 
I typed in here today & was shocked to see it's not here! I think I got side-tracked by a phone call and must not have clicked on Post Quick Reply!
I got hijacked yesterday by our eldest grand-son! He was despondent that a birthday party was post-phoned, then other friends weren't at home when he wanted to visit so he asked his mum if he could come up to our place. She rang me yesterday morning while I was on the exercise bike and I went to pick him up and had him for the day and then the night. We had a lovely time!
I rode the bike again today and feel I will make it a daily habit. 10mins minimum or 10kms, whichever I feel like. Today I only did 10 minutes but also did some gardening and we got some wood. I got another call from my DIL to ask if I can look after our GD tomorrow as her sister has just got out of hospital after a car accident and needs some TLC. My LH has the day off too so he can help keep her company as she's fairly full-on.
I feel really good today again. I don't feel at all bad about quitting my job and wrote a letter today to make sure they know it's final. It felt right.
I think my weight is going down again slowly and I am getting my system working well at last which feels good. I'll weigh in the morning but am not worried.
It is so good that Winter officially finishes tomorrow. I am going to retire my thermals until next year regardless of the weather!!
Cheers Cate
 
Lost the 2 kilos I put on last week and I can feel it in my stomach. That's where it goes instantly. If I put weight on it goes straight on my belly. It's good because I know instantly and have to get rid of it fast!
We have our beautiful grand-daughter here. She is full of beans but is oh so sweet! I had better get back to playing with her. My LH just made some of her favourite biscuits. She's playing a chasie game with lizards and dinosaurs and is dropping them on the floor-"uh oh-I'll get it" "got it" Her language is flying along. It's fun! See you later, cheers, Cate
 
Hi Cate

just dropping in to say hello I still get the reminder emails but I am slowly unsubcribing as they come in....I've found another forum which is just the same as this beleive it or not except it's set up by Aussie's.
I am really enjoying the comaraderie there and I am losing again as well.....yeah!!!!!
As you know from some of my last post I was becoming very disheartened with the weightloss and had regained pretty much all my weight back...I just couldn't go back to the cohens way of eating, too restrictive for "ME".
But I've found something I know I can stick with for life without sacrificing my lifestlye.
How are you keeping??? Have there many new recruits?
I have only skimmed through your last post and you sound very happy and your losing so that is all that matters.
All the best - Sam:)
 
Sam, I prefer this forum and stay here to try to provide support to those that are here if I can. I think you'll find the other forum was an off-shoot of this one or at least the original members were once in this forum and then started their own. I read other forums and have done for well over a year but prefer to keep my diary here as this is the place that has provided me with my best support.
I am feeling really good and am in a good place. I am relaxed about quitting my job and I'm starting to feel really comfortable in my "new" body. After a year at within my goalweight range I feel that I have my health under control. I don't spiral out of control. I very rarely feel like bingeing & if I do over-eat occasionally (getting less & less) I compensate by drinking lots of water the next couple of days and don't use it as an excuse to self-sabotage & continue the binge. I am learning to love myself at last and to let myself relax and enjoy life more. I enjoy life more when I nurture myself & eat healthily.
Every day I eat yoghurt, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, lean meat, good cheese, crackers, nuts(in moderation); drink 2-3 litres of water, 1 coffee only when at home, possibly 2 when away, green tea, 1 or 2 glasses of red wine some days.
I never eat- bread, milk or fried food, junk food like potato crisps.
I only eat good food now. I don't see the point of putting rubbish in my body.
I'm off to watch Australian Story as I usually enjoy it.
Take care everyone, cheers, Cate
 
Hi Cate,
Its so good to her you sounding so positive. You give me hope that there is a "Life After" and that some day i will be able to control my weight also and not have this constant love/hate relationship with food. It is really great that you are so open and share your trials and tribulations with us all and I'm sure once my re-feed is over and I am struggling along that I will be able to look back at your posts and see how you handled similar situations.
I agree with you about the forums. I also drop into the other forum but rarely post over there as it is too confusing to figure out where to post anything and also I think some of the moderators are a bit "big brotherish" and like to dictate what you can and can't talk about. Thats not really me. I like it here where you can say what you like and if someone doesn't like what you say they are more than welcome to respond.
And almost forgot to say, great to see you Sam and its wonderful that you are back and losing again. It doesn't matter where you get your support from as long as you are getting it so if the other forum is doing it for you, that is fantastic. Well done, hope you drop in from time to time and let us know how you are going.
Anyway Cate, enjoy your work free day.
Take care
Beck
 
Hi Beck! I always smile when I see you have written in my diary. I did sound a bit harsh about the other forum but I had pm'd Sam & said hi to her just before I typed in my diary. My manners must be slipping which is not good. I like Sam & am glad, like you, that she is finding support wherever! I agree with you about all the rules & general bossiness but it's good for me to read how hard most find life AC & find that I'm not the only one. It is one of the reasons I stay here to share my experiences as it is really important to know that we are not alone in our struggles with weight & self-esteem. I do think that typing or writing how I feel has helped me immensely. You are doing so well with the program, especially whilst studying. Good for you!xo Cate.
I almost feel like pinching myself as I feel so relaxed about life. I'm having daily revelations it seems and my love/hate relationship with food/me is fading into the background. Yay!!Today I have ridden my bike, washing up, cleaning, sorting records, done lots of clothes sorting, ironing etc & have another big bag of my 'favourite' big clothes to give away.
It's now that I confess that I wasn't confident enough that I wouldn't put the weight back on until recently.
I am now!!
It's a constant testing/learning thing but it doesn't scare me any more.I'm sure it's the not eating of bread that is helping me maintain my weight.I think for me bread is a big no no-ever! I hate the way it makes me feel.I'll head back now to finish the ironing. I thought I'd have a quick break. I'm off out to 8-ball again tonight. Another final. If my LH & OS's team wins tonight they are in the GF. If they lose they're out. Cheers, Cate.
 
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Mmmmm. I've been going along so well but the s..t hit the fan this morning. Nothing to do with weight but everything to do with 8-ball. My LH's & OS's team won and so qualify to go in the Grand Final which was great but a lot happened after the game that has made us very angry and very upset. I won't go into it here because Tassie is such a small place but my LH was as angry as I have ever seen him & that was not good. After a bad night's sleep for the two of us he rang the guy causing grief and told him what he thought of him and what has happened. He did get an apology, especially to do with casting doubt on our OS's integrity, but is to ring back tonight, hopefully with some good news. My LH will have nothing to do with these people unless it's all rectified.
I was so shaky this morning and was so nervous about my LH driving to work that I rang 1/2 an hour after he left to make sure he got there safely.
I did not feel like going anywhere but decided it was best to get out of the house so that I wouldn't stew on it all. It turned out to be an expensive supermarket trip. My pantry looks good! I also took myself out to lunch as I didn't feel like coming home. I called in to my MIL's briefly to say hi and asked a favour on behalf of our YS which she was happy to do. My LH was going to call in on his way home from work to ask her but I explained briefly what had happened & that I thought it best that he come straight home. She didn't mind my asking at all and it was good to see her.
I feel like a female lion sometimes. It doesn't matter what age our sons are but I would defend them and my husband against anyone. I'm also aware of their faults.
Anger is horrible and so self-destructive!
I don't exactly feel relaxed but I do feel a lot better than this morning. I only hope this gets resolved tonight.
I bought the ingredients to make a lemon cheesecake today that uses almond meal instead of biscuits for a base and Splenda instead of sugar so I'll try it soon.
I'm off to see the vein specialist tomorrow and will probably have another treatment I think as I still have some visible veins. Bathers to buy soon! Scary!
Bye for now, Cate
 
Another apology tonight and a solution has been found that isn't perfect but at least it's a solution. We'll go 60 kilometres one way for an 8-ball comp. & then 60kms back same day and then 40kms in the other direction for the 8-ball GF. The GF was meant to have been changed to another day but has only been delayed an hour. There's a lot more to this but that will do as an explanation(part). I'll drive.
We're over it for now. Next year it will be very different.
I just thought I would have a quick look to see if anyone's about but it looks not. We're off to bed early as we have some sleep to catch up on. I think we both feel exhausted.
Sat our YS(who lives 2&1/2 hrs away) and a friend are staying the night with us so they may come along to the GF. Who knows? 'Night, Cate
 
Went to the vein specialist and had one more treatment. Walked for a couple of hours afterwards. Tried on lots of bathers and just couldn't buy any as I couldn't get past the look of my legs. Too much cellulite for them to be exposed to the public!
I haven't eaten much today but what I did eat was very healthy.
I'm tired tonight and there doesn't seem to be anyone around anyway so will say good-night, cheers, Cate
 
I slept for 10hrs! I didn't weigh this morning as our OS turned up while we were still in bed dozing. I'll weigh tomorrow.
It's so quiet in here at the moment.
I'll come back tonight to see if there's any action but usually the week-ends are worse.
Cheers, Cate
 
Well....the only thing happening in this part of the forum is bloody spam! Hate that!
We had a very busy day today getting wood. We got 3 loads. It's really good exercise. I love being outdoors and it was a beautiful day.
Our YS rang about his OS trip. He can get 15% off the tours if he pays in the next week so I think he'll be able to do that. What fun! He plans on being away a year from next May. We'll see him tomorrow and Sunday so will hear some more. I've offered to do his banking while he's away. I did that for his brother and organised a telecard so he could ring home and not pay for it.
I'll head off for a bit of a look around other forums and come back to see if anyone is here before giving up for the week-end. Cheers, Cate
 
nosey chelle

hi,

just thought i would have a nosey around, you were kind enough to answer my postings. how are you doing reaching your goal weight? i just discovered my scales are dead so no weight update yet for me..
Do you know any one who has lost a huge amount? i know they say that the deit helps tone the skin and muscle but after 4 kids and an extra 50kgs i wonder and worry just how much will tone. i am naughty and am walking once a day and doing some tone up exercises i am hoping the two combined will help.
good luck for the weekend..

Chelle
 
Hi Chelle, I know of lots of people who have lost more than that and look great and really toned. I am maintaining within my goal-weight range and lost 36kgs over a year ago. Just remember that you are on a very restricted program(few calories) and exercise can make you hungry and may tempt you to deviate from the program. I'm amazed at how well my skin has firmed & I'm an old gal of 55! I have been playing around in this forum reading in other threads. It can be very entertaining, especially reading Mal's posts! Very witty. Thanks for your visit Cheele and your best wishes for the week-end, cheers, Cate
 
What a big week-end! 8-ball, 8-ball, 8-ball! Our YS & a friend won the state doubles, our OS & my LH's team lost the GF & then today the 3 of them played a practise match against one another for the Nationals and I was the driver/coffee maker, lunch buyer etc. I'm stonkered!
I enjoyed the week-end but have not had much sleep. Today I felt like I had a massive hangover, without having any alcohol at all.
It was lovely spending the two days with my family of men.
I am going to check out movies etc as I have decided to have the 2 older grandkids for a day & a night while my LH is in Melb this week. I so love my family. Having grown-up "kids" in some ways is harder but in others better. Grand-kids are sheer joy!
Cheers, Cate.
 
Scales were less than expected but I must knock off a few kgs before Summer & get down to my lowest weight.
Yoghurt & fruit for breakfast & have drunk 1 litre of water already & had 2 crackers.
Eggs & salad for lunch, fish & vegies for dinner tonight. Crackers only today, no extra carb's(bread, rice etc) & no dark chocolate after dinner.
It's a beautiful day today. A lovely Spring day. I have been spring cleaning, including my LH's golf clubs. He's off to Melb tomorrow to play golf & is working today so I've cleaned his clubs for him. He'll be pleasantly surprised when he gets home from work to find them clean.
I think I've got a good deal as I don't have to cook!(or go off to work!)
I almost forgot to say-
yesterday I really felt like eating junk food which is really weird these days so I did. For "lunch" I had a packet of Salt & Vinegar crisps, a small fudge & an icecream in a cone. Absolutely no goodness at all! Basically I skipped real food, suffered no guilt, actually enjoyed all of it, saw it as a one-off & then got home & got back to healthy eating again. I think it was a good thing that I did it because I have no urge to do it again because I don't want to be fat again & it does not fit in with my long-term aim which is to be really healthy & as fit as I can.
I am amazed at the diet of many young people I know. I see them skip meals, including breakfast, all the time & then eat crisps, chocolate bars, drink coke or pre-mixes including coke. I would hate to think what they will be like when they are my age if they keep it up. Scary thought.
I'm listening to Martha Wainwright at the moment. She has a wonderful voice. Aaahh to be able to sing like that. She's such a natural.
I had better get moving again.I'll go for a walk I think as it's so nice. I was about to hop on the exercise bike but that would be a bit silly on a sunny day such as this. Cheers, Cate.
 
Cate,
you sound like you had a great weekend. You have such a great outlook. sticky issue with kids. Junk food is everywhere and the choices are many. responsibility rests on many shoulders. I will leave it there otherwise it turns into an essay not a posting..he he he.. My daughter is not being very co operative at present this morning so i shall wish you well and post later.

Chelle
 
Hi Chelle, I did have a good week-end even though it was very tiring. What was really good about it for me is that it was very sociable and I got to see my 2 sons and my husband all together for the whole week-end. Nice. My LH ended up having a Fathers Week-end rather than just Fathers' Day! Our YS & his young friend took out a State title so that was a bonus even though we couldn't stay to watch as we had to drive the opposite way to an 8-ball grand final on Saturday night in which my LH & OS were playing. Was not happy about that. My LH is the captain of the team so had to be there right from the start. I arranged for another 8-ball player to drop our son & his friend off where my LH & OS were playing later. This other guy played off in the final with a young friend of ours against our YS & his mate which was a bit funny. It's a big family though & we all get on pretty well. We know so many people from all over Australia through 8-ball. I love that! Later that night our YS told one of the organisers what he thought of him. I had just ignored them for the evening or I think I would have told them too. The guy who had really upset us spent the evening being very nice to my husband.
Chelle, how old is your daughter? I never wanted girls and was really grateful that I had 2 boys but I must say I am really enjoying having a grand-daughter. She is just so cute but oh so strong-willed! I adore her and am enjoying the girlie things like playing with a doll that I bought that gets left here for when she visits.
I have had another good day. I have thoroughly cleaned my LH's golf clubs & bag, prepared all the goodies for Pho Bo(will provide my recipe for anyone if they want it) tonight, went for a walk, done lots of housework, enjoyed a delicious, healthy lunch, finished off Martin Flanagan's book, "In Sunshine & In Shadow"(wonderful!) and pottered about. I feel so relaxed and happy.
I might not be back tonight. I'll spend time watching tv with my LH as he's off to Melb tomorrow. It's only for 1 night but I'll miss him. That's why I think I'll have 2 of the GK's up for the night. I know, I'm an old sook! Cheers, Cate
 
I didn't hear from my DIL about having the gk's for the night so didn't ask again. Either my son forgot to tell her(most likely) or they both forgot.
Instead I headed off in my trackies & Nike runners to our local town. I visited a woman along the way who's partner died a couple of months ago. I helped her briefly with a fence and then headed off. I went for quite a large walk & then visited a friend who has just had a shoulder reconstruction. She & her husband both really want & need to lose weight but he, in particular, is at the down stage & having trouble getting motivated to do something positive. I am carefully trying to encourage them. I asked her if she wants me to call in on the way next time so that she can come walking with me & she is very keen. She has decided to use the time off work & put it to good use & to try & lose some weight.
It would help them immensely if they could just feel good about themselves & going for a walk together would be a great start. They have recently given up smoking which is great.
My LH is in Melb. & I have enjoyed my day/evening. I went shopping for some more fruit & vegies & the makings of another Pho. My husband loves it as much, if not more, than I do & it's such a healthy way to eat. I had some for my dinner tonight, followed by fresh fruit salad & yoghurt. I am just polishing off a huge pot of herbal tea. I mix peppermint, oolong & senna pods & at the moment I am also adding a raspberry leaf mix.
I love peppermint tea. It's my favourite & oolong I add because it's meant to be very good for you.
I walked a lot today & feel so good because of it. I'm going to ring around tomorrow to see about some group exercise. I wish we had belly dancing classes nearby or Pilates or aquarobics(but that would require bathers-ugh!). My veins are disappearing after last week's treatment but the tops of my legs are so flabby. My sister says her legs turn to big muscle so easily if she exercises too much. She's so small but her legs are large in proportion(she says- I've never noticed this as she's so slim) Hopefully walking will trim them down without muscling them up too much! Any suggestions gratefully received.
No-one's about so will head back to the "idiot box".
Cheers, Cate
 
Oh I really don't like sleeping on my own. Only one night away but I missed my lovely husband. What a sook! It took me ages to go to sleep & I stayed up until 11. I wasn't nervous at all though.
I have had a really good day. My OGS(oldest grand-son) rang to see if he could come up as mum was going visiting someone with young kids and he preferred to come up here for the afternoon. He arrived after lunch & we went for a big walk around our 50 acre block.
After a while though he felt ill & went for a lay down & didn't surface for 2 hours. He felt nauseous when he woke up & I rang his dad to pick him up on his way home from work. The poor little thing went back to bed until dad picked him up. Apparently he has been like this for a few days. It must be a virus I think. I wasn't at all hungry which is very unusual and was fairly quiet. I had asked him if he wanted to go see a movie tomorrow & he said "not really." This is not normal. I hope he's better soon.
My LH is not home until about 11pm tonight.
I made a huge Pho today and also a huge fruit salad. I've done lots of house-work and also walked for about an hour. I am exercising for about an hour every day at the moment and I'm sure that's why I am feeling so positive.
I'll come back later as it's time to have some dinner. I think I'll have a chicken salad. It's been a beautiful sunny day. I just love Spring! Cheers, Cate
 
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