Cate's Diary

After deciding that I would be strict for a week I got on the scales expecting to have lost at least .5 of a kilo, but instead I was another 1kg up.
The bad news is that's GW+5kgs! This is exactly what happened before. My weight steadies & then whammo!
I have been feeling a little shaky the last week for some reason & tight in the chest. I don't know if it's blood pressure or if it's just my asthma as that's been playing up with the foggy nights. I tried to get in to see my doc but she's booked out & only works Wed & Thu. Next week I'm in Melb then. I made an ap't for 2 weeks time. I thought I might be getting a chest infection. If I feel bad tomorrow I'll get in to see whoever's available.
I went in to my local town to pick up some library books & did a little shopping. I had run out of yoghurt, which simply is not allowed!
When I got back there was a message from the masseuse. I'm now booked in to see her tomorrow.
I decided to see how I would feel after some vigorous exercise so first of all planted my plants & then headed off, with my back-pack, for a walk around the block. 2 hours later I got back! I took some pruning shears & clippers & wore some riggers gloves & ended up clearing a lot of plants off our track. A lot of branches had come down on it & there is this pesky weed/shrub that I discovered I could pull out reasonably easily. I have come back absolutely exhausted, but feeling much better for the work-out!
Self-doubt has been creeping back in with me again. I must be careful. I would feel better if I had an enjoyable job to go to and didn't just feel like I am filling in the days aimlessly. If my LH was home more it wouldn't be so bad but I'm sick of my own company.
I'm breathing quite well after the walk. Maybe my lungs needed the exercise as well. I have drunk lots of water already today- 3x750ml water bottles. I hope the scales are kinder tomorrow, cheers for now, Cate
 
Within 5 minutes of my last post I got a call from my boss asking me to take on a new client. This time it's a woman, with children, who has a brain tumour. It's only 4 hours in total per week, spread over 3 days so isn't worth much financially unfortunately. I told my boss that I might be doing a course starting in September & she said she could 'wangle' it so they could put me through the same course. Now the one I was going to do was 3 days a week for 6 months(78 days). She thought their's was 1 day a month for a year(12 days) for the same course. The arithmetic is not good. It doesn't make any sense. I'll ring up the training provider tomorrow & find out how many days a week & for how long it really is.This boss is really nice. By wangling it I think she means making me permanent part-time & guaranteeing me enough hours to fit the criteria for the course. I had said that I was going to come talk to her soon & she said that would be good. She has some work in Launceston for me as well if I want it. It's food for thought.Speaking of food. My 2 hours of energetic walking & weeding has made me very hungry. I have eaten dinner but am still hungry 30 mins afterwards.I had better be down a little(weight-wise) tomorrow or I will be very crabby.I am very nervous about working with the new client. It sounds to me that I will be required to do an awful lot in one hour, including cooking. OMG. I hate cooking!The boss mentioned helping with showering, vacuuming, mopping, preparing vegies, cooking, getting casseroles in the freezer, doing some shopping....I think they need Superwoman!
Cheers, Cate
 
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When my LH got home last night, about 10 mins after the call I was freaking out I must admit. I wish I hadn't got the call at all. Can I do it? Can I cope with a young woman with a brain tumour? OMG! This is a test for me. I wish it was 1 full day a week or at least 2 half days. I feel stressed about it.
Good news- I'm down 1.5kg this morning thank goodness. I'm not sure what happens but my weight varies so much from day to day. The more I drink the less I retain fluid. Mmm....
My chest feels quite tight this morning & I had another "turn" where my heart raced & I got shaky for a few minutes. It's not a nice feeling. It's really hard to get in to see a doctor locally. It's a really busy clinic and as I said before my doctor only works Wed's & Thursdays (she has 2 small children) so you almost have to anticipate being sick. Ha ha. There is one other woman doc who is good apparently but she is not seeing any new patients. I have seen the others but didn't connect with any of them, for various reasons. There is one woman doctor that I actually disliked which is unusual for me. She is so rude. She didn't even say anything when I asked her a couple of questions so in the end I said "forget it" and told her I would ask my usual doctor next time I saw her. My doc said she had heard a lot of similar stories.
I'm booked in for a massage at 11am & will see how I feel after that. If I feel bad I'll go to the clinic & see whoever (except for the rude one).
I do know that I must exercise every day as it makes me feel so much better mentally in particular.
I think I will go make a couple of calls about this Aged Care Course because it's important. I need to make a decision about which path to take before I am committed to taking on this new client. I hate letting people down. Things don't feel right. I hate feeling this nervous. This "job" is not a 'proper' job hours-wise. It's a full-on physchological job but the pay & hours don't meet the commitment required. I had the palpitations before I got the call though so it's not that making me shaky. It's not helping, mind you.
Better get a move on.I'll be back later to report on my massage. Oh I am looking forward to that, cheers, cate.
 
I had the massage & it was so good. The reason I have been having so much pain & discomfort is because I have torn some muscles. This has probably been caused by my back-pack. I knew this but didn't want to really know this.....
What a funny world this is. I just got a call from another boss asking me to do a buddy shift with a young girl who has a chromosone disorder that mimics Autism. This shift is for respite & is a 7.5 hour shift once a month. They had asked me once before but I was going to be away in Victoria when they needed me so that got someone else who hasn't worked out. I think this will be challenging in a different way. Keeping up may be the challenge. She lashes out at other children apparently & they need someone "who is a strong mother figure" to keep her under some control. I'm not bothered or nervous about this.
I mentioned to this boss that I would go back to the other client if she decides not to smoke inside & she said she would mention that to her. It's a weather thing at the moment.
Having the massage today I was so tense. It took me ages to relax. She's almost as good as a physchiatrist though. She used to be a nurse & described graphically the care that's involved working with the aged.
This going with the flow is a little like white-water rafting at the moment.There's a bit too much turbulence for my liking.
I have a very large pot of Pho Bo ( a Vietnamese beef soup) going at the moment & it smells beautiful. I have a beautiful recipe for it.
We had a very wild hail storm a couple of hours ago & it looked like it had snowed. I rugged up as soon as I got hope & stoked the fire & I'm feeling like a nanna nap right now. Massages do that to me. Imight just have one I think, cheers, cate zzzzzzzzzzzz
 
Didn't get that nap. I got another call about work. This time it was from someone else but about the woman with the brain tumour. This person was so excited about me taking on the job that she wanted to just go over it all & make sure that I was ok with everything. She actually was able to reassure me that I would be fine. It also does not include cooking which was a great relief! The client is lovely apparently. I now feel much more confident & happy about it. It's a shame that it's not more hours but at least i'll feel useful.
It looks like I may now be catching up with my nephew & family at Vic market, rather than Melbourne zoo which I will enjoy more. Mum doesn't think Melb zoo is a good idea so who am I to argue with my mother? My nephew's wife suggested Vic market. I love Vic market. Now I have to ring my sister back & see if she can cope with it. She is allergic to so many things- perfumes, de-odorants etc but no-where's any good really. She hasn't seen me since I lost weight so I told her we have to catch up!
I'm going to spend tomorrow with my MIL. I haven't seen her all week & feel like spending some time with her. She sounded happy about it, so that's nice.
Catch up tomorrow as no-one seems to be about tonight, cheers, cate
 
Hi Cate,

Sounds like you are destined to do the job with the lady with the brain tumour (no pressure though) and I can understand why they would want it to be you. I bet you will make a huge difference in her life just by being there for her and being yourself.
So pleased to hear that the massage has been some help and you need to make sure you get those palpitations checked out ASAP. The heart is not something you should muck around with. Have you told the doctor why you want to see her because I know that most doctors will squeeze you in if there is something wrong that needs attention.
Sorry I sound like an old mother hen
Take care
Beck
 
Old mother hen, Beck? Make that a caring person. I appreciate you worrying about me.
I didn't suffer any palpitations today thank goodness and promise I will ring the doctor's surgery on Monday or if/when I have them again. I feel much more positive about working with the woman with the brain tumour. From now on I am going to look at my job as a volunteer job & the little pay I get will just help a little. At least I can claim all of my mileage back as a tax deduction because it's essential that I use my car for work. That helps a little financially. The once a month respite job with the teenage girl is a 7.5 hour shift @ double time so that's good. I find going to work makes me want to do more around the house. It motivates me. When you're home a lot you think that things can be done today or tomorrow so it's much harder to get going.
I discussed with my LH that I really want to get an exercise bike. He has been negative about it because he says I have had them before ( 2 in 30 years) but end up selling them. Now that I will probably have to give up walking with a back-pack(probably) I want something I can do every day, even if it's raining. I picked one out today. I don't want a complicated, expensive one but found a simple but comfortable York one at our local sports store. The owner of the store is such a lovely young woman so would like to buy one from her, rather than a large sports store. He agreed so am going to ring Monday to reserve the one I saw today. It's put together so I'll see if my son can pick it up for me.
It looks like I'm not going to do the Aged Care Course in the near future so can use some of that money. I have a feeling I am going to start feeling very useful very soon. A brain tumour-poor thing. Apparently this woman says there are people much worse off than her and does not feel sorry for herself. How lucky I am to have had such a healthy, happy life. My husband has always been healthy, our children are healthy & so are our grand-children.
I spent most of today at my MIL's & she cooked us braised steak & onions with potato, carrots & silver beet. I haven't had a potato for ages. It's a very over-rated vegetable. We had a good day & I was able to do lots of cleaning without her getting crabby.I gave her kitchen a really good clean.
After yesterday's hail storm & torrential rain overnight it was a beautiful day for my LH's golf. He is blessed I think. It never rains when he plays golf.
My Pho was absolutely delicious. Vietnamese food is so nice & so healthy. This is my baby I've decided as I am not a good cook, nor do I like cooking but I cook a mean Pho!
I am meeting my nephew at his father's home now, not Vic market. He decided this would be best as he has things to give me that my sister left me and it would be hard to take them to the market. He's right. Mum & I can go there on Friday morning before I fly home if we feel like it.
It's nice to have some activity in the forum today & nice that Wishes is participating in the game. We could do without the crappy spam we're getting lately though. I have reported this one so hopefully it will be deleted.
St Kilda are getting flogged by Collingwood so I'm not watching.
Did anyone else think the opening ceremony was absolutely boring? I liked the drumming but the rest (well what I watched) zzzzzzzzzz
Cheers for today, xo Cate
 
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Ring, ring...
"Hi Mum. What are you doing tonight? Have you had a couple of drinks?"
"Why?"
"We're at a cocktail party & I was wondering if you would mind picking us up later".
"I'm in my PJ's....I suppose I could get dressed again....What time?"
"11.30?"....
I asked my LH if he would come for a drive with me & he agreed.
"OK. We'll be outside at 11.30".
"You could message me when you get here"
"We'll be outside at 11.30".
" Great. Thanks Mum!"
OK I'm a sucker but he's a really good son. My LH just said to me that he can drive their car home so they don't have to worry about picking it up tomorrow. My DIL's mother is looking after their kids at their place & my son was only going to have a couple of drinks so he would be ok to drive home but he must be having fun & has got the taste. This is the first time he has done this so it's ok. I'll have to go & get dressed again though & I've already washed my clothes & have them in front of the fire.
I think I'll just put something over the top of my PJ's. Being a parent is funny really.
I've been playing around tonight tidying up my computer, doing a defrag, disk checks etc. I'm quite happy with my laptop really. It performs much better now that I have broadband of course & I seem to have heaps of disk space. It doesn't have much RAM though but I don't think it matters too much to me.
Ramble, ramble....better go, cheers, cate
It's a 22km return trip
 
An hour after ringing he sent me a text to say don't worry about picking them up. They were having such a great time & would catch a cab home much later.
He just rang & I am picking him up in about an hour to take him in to get his car. They had a ball but he is suffering. We have to wait to make sure the alcohol is out of his system.
After his msg last night I went to make us a hot drink before going to bed & asked my LH if he would like a liqueur. He gave me a funny look & then said that would be nice. We had a Drambuie & it nearly took my head off. Nice though but I don't think strong alcohol is for me any more. Whoah! We only had one & I hate to think how I would feel drinking cocktails all night. Ohhh!
It's good that they had a night out together as it's hard when you have kids. They didn't wake for my DIL's mum which is good. It's the first time she has baby sat for them. I had suggested they ask her next time as she gets jealous of us having them or spending much time with them. I'm pleased it worked out.
I had better go do some ironing before I go so will head, cheers, cate
 
Exercise Bikes

Does anyone think an exercise bike is good for reducing leg size?
I have been searching for tips & exercises. I have no idea of stretching etc & have ended up having no idea whether riding an exercise bike will slim my legs or make them bigger. Talk about conflicting information. There is so much out there. I might go visit Wishes diary & ask her.
I have had a weird, lazy day day today. I must exercise tomorrow, rain or not.
Cheers for now, Cate
 
I got so interested in Wishes diary that I ended up reading it for ages & never got around to actually asking her about it or posting there. What a journey she has had & is still having. A very impressive woman! Looking at her photos I think answered my question. Cyclists look so defined & shaped, toned. I read somewhere that cycling upright is better for trimming the legs but I don't know how true that is. I used to love sitting upright & reading a book while I rode.
The exercise bike that felt comfortable does not have a heart-rate monitor on it but I don't know if I would bother anyway. It's a York. I'm sure I would never use an elliptical machine and I want to have the bike in my living room where I can put it in a reasonably unobtrusive spot, where I can see outside and/or watch tv from it.
Weight is GW+4kgs which I am not stressed about. I have not been strict lately and have been enjoying some dark chocolate and red wine. I have had too much chocolate but have been having it at the right time, as per maintenance guidelines so it doesn't seem to have affected the scales.
I have not eaten bread at all for about 10 days and have managed to get my system regular at last. I used "Colon Cleanse" (Packaged & distr by Denmar International) that I got from the health food shop & followed their instructions, using it every day for one week. It's fairly extreme I think so I am only going to use it if I get seriously constipated. Since that week I have taken 2 Coloxyl every night, which seems to be agreeing with my system & not causing me any discomfort. I wish I had never, ever taken a laxative in my life & my bowel would not have become so lazy & dependant.
It's a beautiful day today after a miserable wet week-end. I am about to have lunch & then go for a walk. I think I am going for another walk when my LH gets home from work as I spotted a tree on our block last week that looks like a pine. It may be a King Billy or something else quite rare or our OS said it may be a native cherry tree which look a little like pines. I have never seen one on our block before. You can't propogate native cherry trees & it's a mystery how they grow. Our son has quite a few on his block. I might take a small branch off & bring it back.
We have so much wild-life on our 50 acres. I love it. We have Pademelons(Rufous Wallabies), Bennett's Wallabies, Echidnas,wombats, Eastern Barred Bandicoots & Tasmanian Devils along with various birds of course. We don't have any cats so we have many birds very close to the house.
I am now looking forward to starting with the new clients. Like my mum I need to take time to digest things & get used to the idea of change. I'm now looking forward to the challenges & meeting new people.
I have tried contacting the Physio who seemed so excited about getting me on a government sponsored program but who has not returned my calls. I have a feeling they are not being passed on so should be able to contact her tomorrow. I can get 5 appointments per year free and get some exercises geared to me personally. I have a feeling her enthusiasm may have been linked to the government grant to buy exercise equipment which she now should have. I hope I'm wrong as she seemed very nice and it sounded like fun. I'll try extra hard to catch her tomorrow. I may wait outside her room & catch her in person! I'll try ringing her first.
I had better have my lunch so I can head for a walk. Pho again. It's delicious. If anyone wants my recipe let me know. It's obviously apres Cohen's(has some rice noodles in it & hard to have exactly weighed ingredients) but it is very healthy.
Cheers, Cate
 
I'm going for a long walk in about 15 mins so thought I would quickly type now & not come back tomorrow. Because I'm going away for a couple of days I want to spend more time with my LH the next 2 nights & not ignore him because I'm reading posts in forums. I do spend so much time doing this or reading a book.
I've been trying to work out what clothes to take to Melbourne. My sister hasn't seen me since I lost the weight, nor my nephew & his wife, so I want to impress them if possible. We're not going anywhere to dress up but I'll try to look as good dressed casually as I can which means my nice black slacks, rather than jeans. I'll wear my jeans the other 2 days! I agonise over what I'll wear to anything. When I didn't think it mattered much what I wore it was certainly easier but no fun!
Cheers until tomorrow when I should catch up with the physio & also buy an exercise bike, Cate
 
Wrong- the Olympics have hardly got going & already I'm sick of them & my LH, much as I do love him loves every sport known to man.
It's so good to have others play the game "the person underneath". It has led me to check out other diaries etc & has expanded my horizons outside our little section of the much wider, broader forum. It's interesting to see other perspectives & tokeep an open mind.
By the way any suggestions re an exercise bike would be welcome. Would I be wasting my time?
Cheers, cate
 
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The more you read about exercise the more confusing it is. Too much info, too much contradiction. Thank goodness for Cohen's. Now it's just about getting fit & firmer.
I always feel a little nervous when I am going anywhere but especially so when it's on my own. I don't like going away without my LH. I'm actually a sook. I miss him when we are separated even only for 2 days. I map out everything that I have to do like which tram, how much it will cost etc so that I have the right money for machines etc. I've always been like that. It's not just a 50's thing. I wish I wasn't but it is.
Speaking of which I haven't checked out tram fares or the Skybus from the airport so will do that now. Cheers, Cate.
 
The joys of the Internet. The skybus is $26 return & I can change buses & get a free shuttle directly to my hotel. Easy peasy.
ok no excuses- time to get on the move & work out what clothes I'm taking. This will require trying things on I think. Cheers, Cate
 
OMG It's freezing here. I think I have picked a good couple of days to get the heck out of Tassie! Not that it will be much better in Melbourne but it will be a little better.
I think I'm packed. It's hard when you have a brain that tries to cover every eventuality. I also have to bring back an Aboriginal bark painting & an Amish quilt wall hanging so have to try to leave room in my bag.
I am going out to 8-ball tonight much as I would prefer to stay in front of the fire as I will miss my LH & will only stress if I stay at home.
No-one's about but I thought I had better say good-bye until Friday night when I'll be back home. I should find time to post then. Saturday is going to be my first shift with the teenage girl with Autism(sort of) so that will be full on.
I did not go anywhere so consequently have not bought the exercise bike. It will have to wait until next week now.
Hope everyone is going well. If you're dieting well, good for you, if you are maintaining weight, same. If you are struggling at the moment take heart. There's plenty of time before our Aust. Summer to get there if you knuckle down now. I must lose some more before Summer if I want to look good in a dress or shorts. I am still carrying fat in my legs & thighs & really losing more weight(5kgs or more?) will be the answer I think.
Cheers for now, Cate
 
Hi Cate, hope you are having a great time in Melbourne and they are all suitably impressed with your amazing weight loss. I bet they didn't recognise you when they saw you.
Good luck with your new client. I'm sure you will be fine and she will love you!!
I have a exercise bike and an ab lounge and a mini tramp in my lounge room as I wanted them to be easily accessible to motivate me to use them. I don't really use them much even though I know I should. I also have a gym membership which i also don't use which I also know that I should use. So I am not a good one to ask about exercise. I always think i will get myself motivated to use the things I have and I will keep them in the hope that I will get myself moving. I also say thank goodness for Cohens!!
Take care
Beck
 
Hi Cate

I have a spare five minutes to drop in and say hi. I have been so busy at work this week, have not even had time to update my journal.

Can you help me with a question? I have run out of supplements and they are over $70 here and I have to order them. Can you suggest some that I can buy off the shelf? I have not taken any properly in ages. Would this be a reason why my weight loss has slowed down? What do you use?

I am feeling great, but am losing around 1.2k a week.

Have a great weekend.

Vicky
 
Beck, You made me laugh about the exercise equipment. No wonder we all got fat! I so want to get into an exercise/ good eating routine. I'll be so disappointed with myself if I buy a bike & then don't use it. I'm still in 2 minds for that reason. I feel so fat after my trip to Melbourne but will feel better in a few days.(Once again thank you Cohen's.) I did not think it would be so hard eating healthily in Melb. I did get some really nice comments. My sister was really impressed as she is usually very thin. She looks better because she has put on a little weight & it suits her. Funny isn't it? I'm very tired tonight after traipsing around the city for 2 days. I don't know how I lived in Melb for 15 years. Talk again soon, xo Cate
Vicky- I have only taken the Blackmores sustained release multi vitamins, never the clinic ones. I also take a 1000mg Omega 3 & a Calcium Magnesium. Sweetie- 1.2kgs a week is great & you should not be disappointed with that. I know it's a long way to go but nothing else would give you a loss like that. Take heart & keep up the good work! I'm fairly tired so will catch up again soon, xo Cate
Melb- The aboriginal bark painting is a different one to the one I thought I was getting. It is fantastic! My nephew's wife packed it in the middle of her bag & it survived the trip intact. It's beautiful. I carried it back on the plane & they stored it up the back for me.
All I bought in Melb was a small travel bag that I am going to use as my every day handbag. It's a beauty. I had looked at squillions & actually bought it at the airport on my way home! I can't remember the brand but it's Swedish I think (Danish?)
I'm doing a buddy shift tomorrow so have to get up early....zzzzz
The Geelong footballers were all out at the airport & I had a coffee at the table next to some of them, including Gary Ablett. I didn't talk to any of them or take a photo or anything. They must get so sick of all that!
I'm so tired I'm mis-spelling everything so will go, cheers, Cate.
 
If I thought I was tired last night then I can't describe how tired I am tonight. I'm absolutely knackered. This 7&1/2 hour shift is so different to anything I have ever done before & I will earn my money but I think I did quite well. It was non-stop though. I decided to wear track pants & the new Nikes I bought when Kannadew was here & I'm so glad I did because I never stopped all day. I have walked endless kilometres, run, jumped, danced, shot baskets, skipped rocks, pushed a swing (many different swings!) in many parks & tracks.
Oh my giddy aunt! The woman I did the buddy shift with was delightful & very helpful. She has given me absolutely invaluable guidance! I know where all the public toilets are near all the swings in the district.
I was so dehydrated though afterwards. I think I have drunk 3 litres of water/herbal tea since I got home. It's very hard to drink without the client also drinking too much & needing a toilet every 10 minutes. I might have to use my drink bottle/bum bag thingy when I'm with her & drink more often. It's a hard one. I'll also have to wear shorts in Summer so I can go into the water with her at the beach.
While the day was utterly exhausting I think we connected well & I like her. I will need to be very organised & prepared like the main support worker is. It's a little like spending the day with the grandkids but even more challenging. We succeeded in returning her home exhausted & that is a very popular thing. I feel it all went well.
Weight- this morning was up 2kgs for the 2 days in Melb. I'm not worried and it will soon be gone. I'm too tired to even correct my spelling mistakes tonight so will say good-night. Good-night folks, xo Cate
 
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