Cate's Diary

That´s great about the lease! Begging may hurt the ol´ selfesteem a bit but there are definitely worse things.
 
There are definitely worse things! It's done, thank goodness. "Shouting" here means paying. Like "it's my round" here, ie "I'm paying" but we say "it's my shout".

I didn't enjoy my golf particularly yesterday, but still it was a 10km walk. Played OK but the couple we played in a group with got around together in a cart, so it wasn't very social.
Called in & saw our friends at the caravan park.
We're going out to lunch with them today at the Raspberry Farm Cafe down the road & then they're headed home. It has been lovely catching up.
 
Sorry to hear the golfing wasn't good, but at least you got a good walk out of it. Hope you had a good lunch with your friends! :)
 
We did, thanks Jen, but I felt a little sad seeing my friend off. I would love it if they moved to Tassie, but that won't happen as they now have a grand-daughter & their son moved back near them. I really love her. We have been really close friends for about 34 years! We don't talk often, but whenever we catch up, it's great. We have shared so many things over the years & she was great support for me when we went through a rough patch financially back in Melbourne. It's a long story & we lost everything but L helped us get back on our feet by finding us a rental house 5 doors down from her & then our friendship flourished & became really strong. Her eldest son is only a few months younger than ours. her youngest son only 6 hours younger than ours. We were part of a large group of friends that shared our adult lives together- partied together, picked up the pieces when things went wrong....Her current husband (the father of both her kids) wasn't part of the original group, but we still see her 1st husband from time to time. We all used to meet up at a pub on a Friday night & decide what we were doing together. I had so much fun in my 20's, living in Melbourne & experiencing the 70's.

We had a really good catch up this week-end & had time to talk about our sons etc. When the kids were little her older son got on really well with our YS & vice versa & we can still see the similarities. As a teacher she says it has blown away her theories about nature and nurture. How they were as small children is how they are now. I could go into a squillion similarities with how their lives have been quite similar, but I'll spare you. It's uncanny!
I am missing her already! In fact I felt sad seeing her drive off :( I hardly slept last night. Talk about a monkey brain! I had the unbelievably catchy version of "All about that base" in my head on a constant loop- https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/all-about-that-bass-2015-european/id977300386 (hope putting the link is OK, but this is just SOOO good, but if it doesn't get out of my head soon, I might really go crazy!)
I got up & did Tai Chi, tried sleeping in another room, but spent hours wide awake & reliving my life. GAH!!!!!

I decided to stay home today & am making myself get off the computer soon & am going to be very busy today! House tidying & bike & weights & I need to listen to some more music to get that song out of my head!


 
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It´s always sad to say goodbye to good friends but on the other hand it´s a good moment to really notice all the great things you (have) share(d) you might otherwise take for granted. Hope you´ll sleep better tonight!
 
Thanks LaMa. I'm making new friends all the time as well, but the old friends have that shared history & that is special. I'm not sleeping well at the moment & have too much going around in my brain. I'm not settled at the moment. Hopefully it will pass soon. The days are drawing in & the nights are getting cooler.
I'm off to golf again today & playing with R, who I really like. I'm not feeling 100% physically atm either & will keep an eye on that. I think it may be stress affecting me in more ways than one.
 
I played fairly ordinary golf, but OK. Got through the day. Have felt a bit touchy & got a little teary at one stage when asked about R, our YS. He has been texting me saying he doesn't know what he'd do without me, especially when he's really struggling. We have a very strong connection & love. I so hope he finds the love of his life!
I'm glad I played today. I'm out there again tomorrow to play 9 holes only. I need to eat very well & get as much exercise as possible to keep on top of the blues.
 
So sorry to hear about the blues you're going through. I'm happy you have golf to fall back on as a bit of a release. My release is the ocean. Nothing soothes or calms my soul as much as the ocean.
 
Good job getting out and doing things despite feeling out of sorts. I´m sending hugs and a good night´s sleep your way.
 
Thank you Mandy, LaMa & Jen. I think I was feeling really down because I was very tired, as I have been sleeping badly lately. It's a bit of a vicious cycle when you worry. I feel OK again today after a really good night's sleep. I tried very hard not to fall asleep last night in my chair & succeeded. We also got to sleep in this morning, which was nice.

Today I am meant to play golf again at 1pm but it's very wild & woolly out there! I can't get out of this commitment unless the others cancel out. I arranged for 2 people to play together in the club mixed foursomes, but they have never met, let alone know how each of them plays golf, so I was going to play with the 2 of them today at 1pm. I would much rather stay at home. My ex DIL rang me at 10pm last night, asking if I could look after the younger GK's this afternoon, as , once again< she didn't notice that they did not have school on today & the older GK does, so can't look after them, while she is at work, from 12-4. I would much rather look after the kids. Either way I'm letting someone down. It's her fault I know, but she is hopeless. I don't think she would leave them home on their own. If either of the 2 ring me soon I will ring her & say I can. Just got a message then cancelling:) Phew!

I will now stay at home for the day :D :D :D maybe with the 2 little GK's. Nice!
 
Have fun staying home for the day! I hope you get to watch your grandkids! I'm seriously thinking of sending mine to Grandma's. haha! :)
 
I rang my ex-DIL & she was organised, so ended up going out to the golf club as G still had a match to play. I did more tidying up & was gone for 6 hours. Had a good day!
 
Thank you LaMa xoxo I feel fine, considering I am spending half the night awake! I am going to try very hard to stay awake during this evening, so that I am exhausted at bed-time. Daylight savings ends here tonight, so that when I go to bed around 11'ish, it will really only be 10'ish & hopefully I'll catch up with some sleep.We are both sleeping badly at the moment.
We had a lovely day yesterday with D & the GK's, who came up for lunch.
R, our youngest son, is very down. We'll be there next Sunday (the 12th.) His state of mind is a real concern.
 
Slept like a baby (a good one) last night! :D I don't think I woke once until 7am this morning.
Daylight savings is now gone & I have started taking Vitamin D again. I'm going to convince my brain that it's not missing out as the days of sunshine get shorter & shorter. I am also going to remind myself that Tasmanian Winters are not harsh. It never snows where we live. You can always still go for a walk any day in Winter & that is what I am going to do.

Lately I have found myself often thinking sad thoughts during the night. As I lay there listening to G breathing (snoring often) I have visions of life without him & that then makes me think about R, our younger son & his life, without some-one who really loves him & that he really loves & who he can share his whole life with. It also makes me feel very lucky for what I have. My life would have been so different without him.

I'm both looking forward to sorting out R's house next Sunday & dreading the task. I wish it was easier to get him sorted out though. That is truly daunting. He really does need help & there are no easy answers.

I decided not to buy us any eggs this year. I always feel horrible after eating any. We'll have our usual Sunday night "treats platter" which will include mostly fruit plus some honey & almond slice from the market & a little dark chocolate.
Lots of love to you all & have a happy Easter, xoxo Cate
 
Slept well again last night so feeling much better today. A friend from Melbourne is coming for lunch today with his 2 teenage kids. He was our apprentice in a restaurant we part-owned back in another life. We have kept in loose touch over the years & he stayed with us years ago. At this stage I think he's only having lunch & then heading off, but I'm not sure. We always thought he was gay, but he married & had kids. I see on FB that he is now openly gay & seems to have a relationship & that must be a good thing for him. It will be nice to catch up with him & the kids. He's taking them around Tasmania again before they "get too old to want to travel with me."
He has his own business delivering meals, that people order each week. He is a great cook! My LH is not daunted by cooking for chefs though as he is also a very good cook. If it was up to me, we would eat out!

The house is really clean & tidy after my blitz last week :D but I had better get up off my derriere & go do some dishes......soon xoxo Cate

 
Hi cate, now that the snowbirds here are heading back north the golf courses are clearing out and I'm starting to get back into it again. Most people in Florida play in the winter and not the summer. I do the opposite. I restore and show cars in the winter and play golf in the summer (the courses are empty and about a third of the price). I took my 6 y/o sun golfing yesterday and he did really good. He can rip a golf ball for a kid his size. I was shocked at how well I hit the ball after losing 22 pounds. I didn't expect much for not playing in a while, but I was pleasantly surprised.
 
Cate -- I would LOVE to join you! Now I have a kindred spirit in Australia who understands how I feel. I don't feel as alone surrounding myself with the right people who have been there, done that. I am finally on the winning team. So glad to be here with you and wishing you a great success on healthy weight loss! :)

-Gill
 
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