Cate's Diary

AHeya snottface!!!! :eek: :smilielol5:

Sorry, couldn't resist :)

Ya wanna hear something weird. I kinda know that we will meet one day. I have pictured it, we are hugging and laughing and crying. I reckon it will happen too.

So glad you took what i said as it was ment to be taken cos it is sooooooooooooo bloody true. :beating:

Your food on your MFP looks way more bloody interesting that mine. To be honest i hadn't heard of some of it but hey, you are foreign :eek: :smilielol5:

Loves ya Mom :beating:
 
Cheeky tart!!! Kate, we will meet for sure! Foreign food? FOREIGN FOOD?!!! What the heck do I eat that sounds foreign? Now you have me very curious..... I am being way more aware of what I'm eating because I have opened up my diary to you. I'll leave it open & get used to it. I have no idea what I weigh! I had better weigh myself soon. Last time I was 79.5. I think it's there or thereabouts. I'm very tired today but went into town & did a little shopping & visited Mum. She's a fair bit better thank goodness!

I can't think of much to say today really. I know, I know....That's a change!!

Lots of love Kate & a big hi to everyone, xoxo Cate
 
I am beating this bug, but my poor husband has gone under now! Of course his is much worse- "man flu!!"

I hopped on my bike & rode 11km fairly fast & didn't struggle with it at all. That felt good. I am getting my appetite back & enjoying the taste of my food a bit more. I have my calories set at 1500 again, as I feel that it's right for me. If I reduce it even more I seem to have an internal battle with food, which sets me up for feeling like a failure. I am feeling much stronger mentally as well. I'll keep taking the pills for a while & monitor how I am. I'm a bit nervous about seeing a psych but will go ahead with that too. I have an ap't in about 4 weeks. My new, lovely doctor thinks it would be good if I could learn how not to let others' opinions worry me & not to absorb other people's problems so much. I had said perhaps I need to develop a thick skin but she said I should not try to change what's important to me like helping others but to learn not to let them affect me so much. I think she's right. She's an intuitive cookie.

The sun is shining in between downpours but when I see the sun it makes me smile.

Not much to say today & herbal tea & yet another book beckons.

Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Had a pretty good day today, interspersed with weird things with Mum, like all her knickers being missing. I have replaced them all & think maybe she has had the trots & been ashamed or something & thrown them out. I have had chats with a few of the workers & Mum & hopefully they will be more vigilant re keeping her lactose-free. Poor old Mum is really slipping mentally. I coped fairly well with today though & am feeling stronger mentally. My husband foolishly played golf, even though I drove him in to send off the golfers & was going to go back later with him to do the cards etc. I couldn't believe it when he rang to say he was going to play. He will get NO sympathy from me tonight. It was very stupid to play & he is coughing & spluttering now. It was very cold. I'm still not 100% but am getting there.

Nothing much to say. Son #2 is happily in Canada & about to start work with my niece on Sunday.

Lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
Hey Cate,

Glad to know you are beating the bug but sorry to hear LH has it now...hate that when bugs invade the happy home! I'll be in the US for a week and in Korea the week after so I won't be around much...just know I'm thinking about you and praying for your continued improving health! Love ya,

Sarah
 
Hi Sarah and thank you for thinking of me. That's very sweet of you. You do so well with your trips & are amazing with the consistency of your exercise & commitment to losing weight & becoming slim. I think it's great that you can inspire others to feel that they can do the same. I think I am inclined to not give myself enough credit for what I have done & I must keep reminding myself of where I have come from and what I have achieved. I feel that your self-esteem has stayed intact & that will really help you to make this a permanent lifestyle change. Self-esteem is very hard to build up when it gets very low and I feel that is the key to never letting myself become over-weight again. I am actually looking forward to seeing a psych to help with that. I want to learn strategies to not absorb everyone else's problems.( "Water off a duck's back" as you said.) Don't work too hard on your trips & take the bathers (swimmers) & it's time to buy some new shorts! xoxo Cate
 
Hi Sunflower. Thanks for the hug sweetie! I haven't said so before but what a great user name. It's so cheerful. We could do with some sunflowers at the moment. Bring back Summer!!!!!! xoxo Cate

Today-

Still not well, but slowly getting there. I finish my antibiotics tonight & the chest congestion has gone but the sinus pressure & headache hasn't. My LH is not well at all. he had the State Masters 8-ball tournament yesterday & played as bad as he felt- very poorly. I suggested that next year he just try out for the Masters & skip the open team & he thinks that may be a better idea. It's just too much 8-ball. It means we won't be going to the Gold Coast in October, which we couldn't afford anyway.

Eating well & rode over 10km today on my bike, even though I wasn't feeling good. Haven't weighed for ages! Had better soon.

Lots of love to all. We have all gone a bit quiet! xoxoxo Cate
 
Bring back Summer!!!!!!
Click to expand...




It's coming, it's coming!! (though its head is bending low). And spare a thought for Canberra -- according to the ABC it's been colder than Canberra (do you think it's all those cold-hearted pollies?)

:biggrin:
 
Canberra is the coldest place I have been in Australia, followed closely by Ballarat in Victoria! I do feel that Winter is on it's way out. The sun is shining again today, which puts a smile on my dial. I don't mind cold, frosty nights when it leaves you with a bright sunny day! What part of Aus. do you live in noparsnips? Why did you give yourself that user name btw? Was it- "I'll eat anything really but no parsnips!!" I'm a curious person! Thanks for visiting me in my diary, xoxo Cate
 
I have had enough of staying at home & must confess to being bored! This does not happen often! I'm still not 100% but will go into town tomorrow as I feel like I have neglected Mum. I'll take her up the street for a little shopping & morning tea. Poor old thing. She rang me today & sounded like she missed me.

Our son seems to be enjoying working in the restaurant with my niece in Canada. I hope he continues to enjoy it & that they get on well.
I think I will go out and play golf next week with the women. I'm nervous about it though.

Nothing much to say again. I wouldn't say that the anti-depressants are working wonders & I don't feel bright but I don't feel despondent either. I may have been feeling exactly the same if I wasn't taking them. I will decide whether to continue with them after I see the psych early next month or see my new GP soon.

Lots of love xo Cate
 
My lovely Cate i was really sorry to read that you where feeling low...I do hope that going to town will make you feel a little better ,plus spending some time with your mum.

Its also really good to hear about your son in Canada!!!Good for him hope aswell things turn out good for him!!!


I want to scream GO GOLF YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH CATEEE!!!!!!But i know that you feel a bit strange about that so i will keep it cool:sifone:wont say anything more!


And as for the meds i think that AFTER speaking with a pro like you said is the best thing to do.MAny people take and stop meds by them selves , so its really good you arent doing that now.

I am sending you loads of positive thoughts and lots of love!
 
Jess, you're a darling & you made me smile! I'm so glad that you're back with us. Really I'm happy with how I am too, but I stay in here to keep me accountable, as much to myself as anything, & for the mutual support & love that I get (& give.) My visit with Mum was a good one today so came home feeling much better mentally as well. She seemed brighter & stronger. I don't like seeing her so old & frail & confused. I never know which Mum she will be when I visit so it's a nice surprise when she's sparky. I seem to be much happier with my body lately & could almost wear t-shirts/blouses tucked in to my slacks, without looking daggy. Dare I say I actually look good with a belt & a shirt tucked in? I'll get braver & less self-conscious as time goes on I'm sure. I'm very slowly getting there! Lots of love back to you sweetie, xoxo Cate

PS Weight stable at 79kg!! YAY!!!!
 
I'm just cruising along at the moment & am quite bored, which is unusual for me. I think not feeling so good physically has sort of drained me a fair bit. I can't say that I feel strong mentally but don't feel miserable either. I don't know if these pills are making any difference. Down periods usually fade away on their own. I really don't like the usual side-effects :)blush5:) from anti-depressants. This one is no exception. If I felt great it would be different. Even though I have been feeling flat & uninterested I have still been hopping on my bike most days. It has become a habit.

I have been feeling down about lack of money lately as well. I feel strange about us spending so much money on a holiday next year when we are struggling to pay our everyday bills. We had planned on cashing in quite a bit of my husband's super. I feel nervous about the whole thing. We have a quote for airfares & an Intrepid tour and accom. in Rome & Paris but I have looked up both hotels that Intrepid use & they get awful reviews so may change that aspect of it. I'm petrified of arriving in Rome & getting to a safe hotel without being mugged. I know that sounds really silly but it's the truth. I feel very anxious about it! I would like to be met at the airport & whisked away safely & not be left to our own devices at all in Rome. I'm not nervous about France or Greece! Does logic come into this? Maybe not!

I almost feel like changing plans altogether & doing something totally different.

I only have one more week left of these pills & have to make an ap't to see the doc next week. I'll tell her I seem more anxious.

Lots of love to all, xoxo Cate
 
i smiled sorry when i read you arent scared about getting mugged in greece!you are so lucky to plan a vacation like this!

i also have this dream,about driving through italy and staying a day at the main cities....i dream of tuscany!!!i would like mario 2 be about 8 to do all that so in 5 years!


you are going 2 have a lovely time!


i really have no advice on the pills just wait and speak 2 your doctor as soon as possible and stay strong u will get through this
 
AHeya Cupcake :)

I am so sorry I haven't managed to keep with with your diary :( I always feel really guilty when I see the little red numbers next to the diaries.........life is just manic at the moment, and probably won't settle down until the end of the school holidays!! I will try and keep up with everyone the best I can.

I'm so pleased that your son is enjoying life in Canada :)
Sorry to hear you have been feeling low, I still get like it but it isn't the all consuming low anymore :) ooooooh, feeling better now...good :) I kinda almost feel the love and happiness in your writing when you talk about how your mum was having a good day, I can see you smile as you type.

I am so chuffed for you that you are 'happy' with how you look and that you are being more adventurous with clothes :)
I'm kinda getting use to being this size too now, for some reason. Mainly because I have struggled to get any lower and also I do feel normal. I am a size 12 and that was my aim. I never thought I would ever in my wildest dreams actually get to this place. I haven't decided completely but I am thinking that. Need to start accepting that this is me.

Love and hugs always Xxxx
 
Hi Hun, Don't ever feel guilty about being so busy & not keeping up with diaries. I understand sweetie. I think it's wonderful that you are learning to accept the new you. As I said it will take a while to adjust to being slim & learning to think of yourself as slim & you will need to stay vigilant & hop on the scales once a week to keep an eye on it. Keeping up with your fitness will also be a key factor in maintaining. I know that you can do it and, like me, you need to feel that you are in control. I still think MFP is a great tool, but after a whole year, I might consider not keeping a food diary. Weighing once a week is going to be compulsory though. Typing that made me realise I probably will keep it up as the thought made me feel a little nervous! LOL. It's the staying in control of what I eat thing! It is a struggle for me to get any lower than what I am, without drastically reducing what I eat. I'm still aiming for another 4kg though, but if I don't achieve it, I won't be stressing about it. It's only that I am sitting on 79kg & it's too close to 80! Just a number I know, I know.

My MIL is sick with a chest infection today & I will visit her after taking Mum out for morning tea. I might head soon so that I can get home again & get into my home gear & hop on my bike. I ate too much yesterday(controlled but too much!) & need to have a good day. Lots of love Kate, xoxo Cate
 
Have had a nice week-end & am feeling much better. I hadn't told anyone but my sister had a lump near her left ovary & went for a CAT scan last week & wasn't able to get to see her doc until Saturday. We were both worried sick!! He thinks it's a fibroid, rather than a malignant tumour!!! PHEW!!!!

I took Mum for a drive on Sat morning & then morning tea, went for a great big walk on my own in town & then visited my MIL & then home.


Sunday spent the day with my LH & my SIL came for lunch & we discussed lots of things including what to do with their mother. We all really think she should be in a home as she is losing the plot quickly & her memory seems to be getting worse daily. It's too scary having her home on her own, virtually without sight & deteriorating so fast. Her stubbornness is unsurpassed though & this will not be easy. She needs to be convinced that it's a good idea. Wish us luck!! She is constantly causing lots of worry to the lovely couple next door & I feel that she almost harasses them. It's simply not fair as they have their own health problems.


Yesterday I rode my bike for 10.5km so this month I have ridden over 100km! YAY!! I think I will set 100km as my monthly target. Some days I feel like getting back on again & riding & riding & riding. I love it! I think I'll break out our YS's Avanti soon & go for a real ride! In the meantime I'm starting to see some shape in my legs. Go metabolism boosting muscles! I want shapely drummies. My LH teases me & says I won't get legs like Cadel Evans ever & I joke along with him & say I will. I just need to ride enough!


Have changed my goals on MFP to get to 75kg & only lose .5kg a week. It seems like so much food! 1660 cals! Whoah! I have to remember to put everything in though & will only put in 'proper' exercise (not getting one lousy load of wood ha ha.)


I had better go ring the doc & make an ap't. I think I'll be going off the meds as they take away one of life's best pleasures for me. ;) I'll see what she says though. I think the sunshine has improved my mood more than anything else but I will be guided by her as I feel confident in her ability. She takes the time to listen & seems to actually care.


Our YS is missing us (as he's looking at my photos on FB) but is having a lovely time in Canada. Our OS is coming for lunch on his own today & will be spending a few hours with me. That will be nice. My LH is at work today as he is feeling much better. He's still on antibiotics.

Hope all are well & happy. Lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
Had a lovely time with our OS(D) yesterday. It was just the 2 of us & we had lunch & he sweet talked me into playing Snooker with him. Of course he gave me a hiding but that's ok. He is trying out for the state 8-ball singles title this week-end & wanted some practice so I didn't mind. We had a lovely talk about anything & everything really. I had told him that his brother needed to talk to him before he went away so that he made sure it happened, which he did. Our YS(R) hadn't really felt brave enough but our OS said "Ok. I'll just start asking questions then" & away they went. He told me yesterday about the things that they discussed so I am really pleased that they had a heart to heart talk. Lots of tears & lots of honesty. Excellent. It can only bring them closer & closer which is lovely.


I also told D about my depression & being on meds & how I had felt the day that the 3 of them were playing Snooker & I felt that if I was gone no-one would miss me. I said that I knew I wasn't being at all logical & that my brain chemistry was skew-whiff & that's why I went to the doctor first thing next morning. When he left hours later he gave me such a big hug & said "Now Mum, You KNOW how much I would miss you!" & we laughed & I said "Of course I do."


Which reminds me I haven't rung & made a new ap't with the doc. Tai Chi has been cancelled today & I had decided I was going.

OK- just rang & have a doc's ap't at 11.30. I'll visit Mum first & then come straight home after the docs. I think I will ask to try a different medication or will stay on this one for another month. I have been waking up very early & am unable to get back to sleep & do feel a bit revved up & hyper. Yesterday I rode 17km on my bike & could have kept going & going.


I'll have a look at FB & then head out I think.

Lots of love xoxo Cate
 
Went shopping with Mum & then saw the doc & have decided to stay on these meds. for a while longer as I do feel better. It is lovely talking to her and I will continue to see her once a month. Visited my MIL afterwards & she was REALLY confused. She is also unwell with this bug. I am not going to stress about her though as we do what we can for her & it is MUCH more than the rest of the family do. I do wish that she was also in a home though as I also think she would be happier, once she had reconciled to needing to go into one. Anything is what you make of it & she could have a great social life in there, as many of her friends are there, & she could still go out whenever she wanted to.


Last night we went to 8-ball & one of the GF's came along to catch up with me, which was lovely. We chatted away all evening & I had a really nice time. We also won 14-1! She & I get on very well & she & her partner also get on VERY well with our YS, R. His sister I think is very keen on R. I asked her last night & she agreed that is true. I'll keep that to myself, but she would be a lovely match for him. Who knows what the future will bring!


We have had a really nice day today & the sun is still shining. My sister rang with some good news re her son deciding to get an adult apprenticeship as a plumber. We took the dogs for a walk & I have done lots of cleaning, including hands & knees scrubbing. All in all a good day. Feeling good!! No stomach- it is pretty well FLAT. I LOVE eating wheat free. It makes such a difference to my health & well-being & my stomach!!


Lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
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