Cate's Diary

Hi Eloise & anyone else reading my diary. I used to be like that too. I used to be scared of my shadow! Our OS says not to assume that it was a whip snake. It may have been a baby Tiger snake. I now love snakes, lizards etc but will be more wary & will make sure I'm covered up when picking up rocks & gardening. I showed him where it went down & he said "Mum I wouldn't put your finger that close to the hole!" Whoops. I was getting excited telling him. He was surprised that it was that close to the house. They usually steer clear of humans if they can. He works for Parks & Wildlife.
I picked up our OGS & our GD off the school bus until they could be picked up as our OS & DIL were held up with appointments today. We had a lovely time :D
Asthma & allergies :(
My asthma has not been good lately.
I rang & made a doctor's ap't for tomorrow as I want a referral to a specialist to get tested for allergies. I want to actually know if I have specific food allergies, especially wheat, lactose, rice etc, rather than just trying to work it out for myself. It is reasonably costly but I will get about half back & hopefully I'll find out for sure & then know what to never eat again.Is it gluten (am I Coeliac?) or am I allergic to wheat, oats, rye etc? I would like to know for sure. It isn't easy to avoid all of them. It would be great to actually know.
Tomorrow-
Tai Chi, shopping & Dr's ap't. 8-ball final in the evening. A full day.
Mum-
I spoke to mum today & may go up when she has her assessment, after being advised to by a woman I know who works in a local aged care facility. She said it's best that a family member is there so that they can compare the 2 versions & gain the truth. I asked mum if that was ok & also I said it would be much easier for me if I could fly over & then have my sister drive the 2 of us up there together. She seems happy to go along with whatever I suggest at the moment so, while I was on a roll, I even discussed what she wants down the track re her funeral. I told her what I thought she would want, with 2 scenarios, & she laughed & said she couldn't care less but did agree that my ideas were good. I'll tell you about them another time. We are not a religious family & all hate fuss. I told her that my LH & I discuss our funerals after every funeral we go to. It's the time to do it. We have also never been a family to have serious conversations so they need to happen. I will make sure that my older brother joins in when we go up there to ensure that there will be no misunderstandings. Everyone seems happy for me to take charge. This "middle child"(read the invisible one) has taken over as the family member who takes charge. I won't let it go to my head ;) but it does not feel half bad. I have changed & that is not a bad thing.
I had a bad night's sleep last night, with my asthma, so hopefully will make up for it tonight. It's time to head so will say bye for now, xo Cate
 
Popped in for a quick look & got just a little bit side-tracked. I'm glad I have a doctor's ap't today as I don't feel well. My asthma is bad & I'm very chesty. perhaps it's a cold but it's best to check. Will pop in later if I have time. Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Hi Cate,
Look after yourself - there are some nasty viruses going round. Good to hear progress with the family, as a middle child myself though, I have never really suffered the quiet thing - I have to do everything, it comes of only having brothers!
Cheers
Eloise
 
Hi Cate

I also had a cold last week..it's def the time to get one, as the weather's changing.
Hope you feel better
Xx
 
Thank you Eloise & luvbug. By the time I got to the doctor I wasn't feeling so bad so didn't tell him how I was. I know that sounds crazy but when I am exposed to fragrance my logical reasoning goes out the window. I did, however, get a referral to the allergy specialist. I will ring shortly & make an appointment. He's usually booked out a long way in advance so I had better ring today. I think I have a cold, rather than the flu or other virus. My doctor seems to think I have my asthma under control. Sometimes I wish they could just be you for one asthma attack just to see what it feels like. My LH really suffers when I have asthma & feels useless.
I spent 5 days at home, trying to recover from last week's perfume attack at Tai Chi but it did not help at all so I think it must be a cold as well.

Today-
We will just potter about, do some gardening, read etc. Then we have our OGS tonight & I will take him to Taekwondo & then back here for the night. He is such a lovely boy.
Bye for now & love to all, Cate
 
Yesterday-
Still had asthma badly so didn't do much during the day & went to the grand-kids school fair in the late afternoon.
Today-
Woke up feeling the same so messaged my friend who was over from Vic for a Blues festival to say that I wasn't up to it but that now that I have renewed our friendship that we will make sure that we do catch up soon, either next time she comes to Tas or when I'm in Melb next. The blues festival would have been full on & with camp-fires everywhere so wasn't an option with my asthma.
I decided after doing lots of research yesterday to try to eliminate as much dust & bed bugs as possible from our bedroom. I spent almost the entire day washing all our bedding- doona, pillows etc in very hot water, with some eucalyptus oil. I also got the ladder out & cleaned the walls, beams etc & all the furniture with warm water also with Eucalyptus oil in it. It was a big job & surprisingly my asthma doesn't feel as bad tonight. I should sleep better. I managed to get them all dry & back on the bed & everything is back in place. I have removed any dust collectors from the room. I washed walls & skirting boards as well. I didn't vacuum as it affects me badly so that needs to be done & then I will wash the floor as well. The curtains need doing too but I smartly didn't tackle them today. Phew! I'm exhausted.
Rang my mum today to tell her that I have contacted her assessor to say that I need to know when it will be so that I can be there & that by my doing so it should hurry her along a bit. Mum wants it to happen asap.
Time to put the feet up.
Love to all, xo Cate
 
Hiya Cate

Remember me?? I updated my diary and immediately had to read whats been happenbing with you. I caught up on your diary for this year. WOW, you also had a rollercoaster of a life the last couple of months.

Looking forward to keep in touch and hear all your news.

I hope your asthma gets better - I had asthma for many years and somehow just outgrew it - but it can be very debilitating.

I hope you get better and in tip top spirits again!!
Mandy
 
Hi Mands I replied in your diary & had forgotten to go back to mine. My asthma is annoying mostly.
I'm struggling for breath still & have little spare energy. It has been very damp & is starting to chill off. I am not looking forward to Winter at all. I should be grateful that I am alive I know but lately my asthma has made me a little gloomy & fearful of my health. Maybe I'm battling a cold or glandular fever again or some other bug I don't know but I know I don't feel well. I don't have much faith in my doctor. He seems like a lovely cheerful sort of bloke but I don't think he sees me as being ill. It's always a comparison thing I guess with them all. If I went staggering in he may take more notice. I have always tried to be cheerful & look on the bright side but that may create a false impression of how well or not that I am.
Enough moaning. That's why I have not been in much lately. I haven't been feeling at all well & still don't.
I may book in for another doctor's ap't & this time get him to check my lungs again. My sister had a cough for ages & when she eventually had it checked properly she had stage 4 lung cancer.
I'm meant to be doing the Relay For Life walk this week-end with some friends & family of a friend who died last year. I am going to see how I am on the day but had planned on being there for the start when they have a survivors lap & then doing the group walk & then I was going to stay & do as many laps as I was up to.
Our OS rang this morning to ask if we could look after the GK's at their place on Sat night. They think it's easier for me to go there rather than bring the kids up here & then pick them up next day. It limits my options with the walk & means I won't be able to be there for the lighting candles ceremony but I probably should be home in the warmth by then anyway.
I wish they wouldn't ask me 2 days before an event. They have known about it for ages. They assume that it will be ok.
God, I'm sounding grumpy.
Cate unwell= grumpy Cate.
I'll go before I make everyone grumpy, xo Cate
 
Oh boy, I was grumpy the other day! We had a nice dinner the other night with our OS, DIL & the 3 GK's & a Scottish friend. We had the YGS for the day & he is being toilet trained (Eeeuuww- not too successful that day!)
We had a lovely evening.
Yesterday-
I felt quite a bit better. We went & got some wood in the morning & in the afternoon I did some rock landscaping while my husband got wood with friends. Perhaps I was a bit optimistic because I'm short of breath this morning. Last night when we went to bed I could smell wood smoke in our bedroom & was coughing. My LH was asleep & I got out & went into another bedroom, which didn't smell of smoke. It took me a while to get to sleep with the thought of a Winter with asthma playing around in my head. We have 2 years worth of wood out in our yard. Air-con is very expensive because power in Tassie is expensive. Someone will have to get up on the roof & try to find where the smoke is getting in or I will have to sleep in another room for the Winter. I think that will get the leak fixed. It's all a bit daunting. I'm letting the fire go out today.
Today-
I am going to go into town for the Relay For Life, asthma or no asthma. I'm dressed, I'm ready. I have my Nikes on, light travel cargo pants & my Relay For Life, long-sleeved t-shirt, the badge my sister's oncologist gave me saying "Cancer Sucks" & a pair of ear-rings that my sister gave me that cost her a small fortune from some fancy avant garde jeweller in New York, I think. They are bright & cheery & sort of art deco.
Tonight I'm baby-sitting so will have to be home by 5pm. That will give me a little over 4 hours to be in town walking so that will be ok. It's best I'm inside before it chills off. The sun is just starting to peek out from the clouds so hopefully it will be a nice day.
Our poor little dogs are freaking out as they can hear people shooting. It is duck season & about a kilometre away from our home there is a large dam/lake where the shooters must be. I find it barbaric, shooting for sport. I know many people who do though, although I have little to do with them these days, mainly because I have the choice now I'm not in a business, dealing with the general public. If they are not cruel & are careful & eat what they shoot I could cope with it better but many of them shoot everything in sight.
Off my soap box & time to get on the move. dishes to wash etc, bum bag to check & double check-lol at myself!
Bye for now & love to everyone. Have a great week-end, xoxo Cate
Today-
 
Relay For Life-
Was a great day! I overcome many fears, including the one of arriving somewhere alone, having no idea of where to go & who I knew & whether I belonged or not. I just did it. I ended up doing the first leg of the relay as the couple that were going to do it were late. I walked with the group, none of whom I knew, & we followed the survivors, after they had done a lap on their own. We clapped them past & it was a very positive experience.
Emotions not quite so close to the surface :)
I did not cry or get over-emotional once during the afternoon. I did my share of walking & did it probably too fast (doh!) & then kept going back pushing myself to do more. As usual I over-did it & ended up doing 20 laps all up. The young ones there said I had set them a high bench-mark. When I had finished the 20th lap I went up to the Reptile Rescue people, who were there for the kids entertainment, had a good look at the snakes that were there in an enclosure & then saw someone with a Queensland Python wrapped around them. I went up to them & when asked if I wanted to pat the snake I did. Then when asked if I would like to hold him, I didn't even hesitate & was not frightened at all!
Overcoming fear-
Tick! That's another fear over-come! Fear stops you doing so much. If only I had not been so fearful when I was young.
Replace "if only" with "next time"
You can't change the past but you sure can help change the future for young ones by being a good example & facing your fears & dealing with them.
This is not a great, flattering photo but I'm proud of this moment-


 
Yesterday-
I was aching all over but especially in the groin. I think wearing my orthotics in my Nikes on Sat tipped my feet out so much that it strained my groin. I was worried that I would barely be able to walk today but I'm much better thank goodness. I did some gardening & lots of walking about the house trying to free myself up a bit.
Eastern Barred Bandicoot-
Friends of ours came to our home in the afternoon to release a bandicoot back into the wild. He's a vet & she has been nursing this little one, feeding it with an eye dropper for the last couple of months. A dog had taken it home in it's mouth. Our friends wanted our GK's there so they came up as well. It was a lovely experience for all of us. I'll go check to see if he's back in his temporary home after the night. I won't pat him though as we want him back in the 'wild.' It would be nice if he was though, just for a couple of nights. They are nocturnal animals. I'll attach a photo of him-
 
Bandicoot-
Has not returned to his temp home as far as I can see so that should be a good thing. Hopefully he will find some bandicoot mates.
I'm feeling much better physically today but am very tired. We went to town & did lots of errands yesterday & then went out to 8-ball last night until midnight. I have just got back from Tai Chi & am really tired. My LH has gone off for a golf game at a new golf course near Bridport so he won't be home until quite late. I think I'll go sit in my chair very soon & read the paper & will probably be asleep within an hour I reckon.
Love to all, xo Cate
 
Life is going on. Nothing much to report really. All's fine. Things with my mum are really frustrating. The assessment that i was meant to be given lots of notice is this week & I have only found out accidentally. I have decided not to worry so much about it. If my mother does not want me there perhaps I shouldn't be there. It doesn't matter how much you plan or how much control you think you have really it's in the lap of the 'gods.'
I'm chilling!
I won't say I have given up but....
Life is good & it is much better if you stop worrying so much.
'night all, xo Cate
 
Who was I trying to kid with my chilling? I rang my mum this afternoon as I was upset about it. I was thinking that she didn't want me there but I now think that she had truly forgotten that I was ever going to be or that she was meant to ring me & let me know! *sigh*
I don't think I am able to go. There are too many reasons to explain. I will try hard on Monday to talk to the woman who will do the assessment though. I'll give her until 11am Mon to ring or email me & then I'll ring again.
I rang our YS this morning as he asked me to do his internet banking for him, but he must have changed his password, only to be told that he had a row with his boss & is now out of a job. I shook instantly! He said he'd talk to me about it during the week but I felt so stressed out. He sent me a message saying not to stress because he's not & there's nothing to worry about.
I have disappeared into a book- a #1 Ladies Detective Agency one- excellent escape! I'll go finish it before my LH gets home from his meeting. We got to bed at 2 last night. We had an end of 8-ball season Snooker night at our place & 2 women turned up- both wearing perfume! I have had very little energy today & have sneezed heaps but don't feel too bad considering. I stayed as far away as I could physically from them. One is a good friend. She said "I only put some on first thing this morning & didn't put any more on tonight" as if that would be ok.
I have spoken to my LH about it as I had been feeling that he would not like me asking his friends to ask their wives not to wear perfume or any strong-smelling fragrance when they come to our house. He looked at me shocked & said "Whatever gave you that idea?" From now on I will mention it to anyone coming to our home & will ring the day before so that they hopefully won't drown themselves the next morning either.
I feel that our home should be a safe place for me & am so glad that he agrees. It's funny that you sometimes don't know how your "other half' feels about certain things. We have been together 40 years this year & I still often don't have a clue what he thinks about some things.
I also think it's still a lack of self-confidence on my part that I'm afraid to offend the people who don't show me the same consideration. They succeed in making me feel bad by reacting to their 'fragrance.' It doesn't make any sense.
I'm raving on a bit today. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel mentally better & less stressed. Perfume reactions affect my brain & it can be depressing as well. I don't want to become isolated.
Love to anyone reading this, xo Cate
 
Life has settled down again. Things are a bit up & down about my Mum. My SIL doesn't believe that Mum is going senile & thinks she's devious. They make me want to bang my head against the wall. Today I am going to ring & speak to the assessor to let her know what Mum was like when she was here as my brother really doesn't have a clue. What can you tell in 5-10 minutes?
I have been really active the last 2 days & that has taken my mind of everything.
Sunday-
I gardened- planted out 2 punnets of seedlings(Coriander & Parsley); about 100 Chive bulbs & moved rocks for hours. When we built our home we had to have someone blast rocks to make it level & a lot of those blasted rocks were just shoved in a pile as a retainer wall. They look ugly as they do not look natural. I have been gradually dragging them out of our garden & into the paddock. Some are immovable & I am going to gradually cover them with more natural looking rocks. It's hard physical work & I LOVE it!
Yesterday-
My LH & I declared war on an encroaching Wattle forrest. Apparently wattle trees are mutating & are becoming more resistant to spray & are spreading like weeds. If they were gum trees i would be quite happy about that but they are not. They have been creeping closer & closer to our house & we cut down at least 50 yesterday. We were both exhausted afterward but got back some of our view of the mountains.
I slept like a baby last night & that was after talking to my SIL on the phone.
Today-
I'm going into town to do some food shopping as we.....*GASP* have no fruit!!
Hope all are happily losing/maintaining.
Love to you all, xo Cate
 
Whoah! What happened to the last 5 days?
So much seems to have happened I don't where to start.
Mum had her assessment & surprised everyone, including me with deciding to stay at home, instead of going into a home. Next day she was telling me in the same phone call that she was going to send me a cheque for the bond to go into a home in Tassie(1/10 of what the bond actually is) & also that she is staying at home & also going into a home near where she lives. Hmmm. I passed all this on to the assessor who rang me on Friday. She is arranging CAT scans etc with mum's doctor. I have emailed my brother & sister & hopefully we'll establish regular updates on conversations with or about mum so that we can compare notes. I'm feeling quite chilled about her as there's not much I can do for the minute.
Tues- went to 8-ball with my LH & had a good night. The player who wears loads of Lynx had none on & I was able to sit next to him & talk to him. What a change.
Wed-Was Tai Chi day & we went for lunch afterward. Nice. Caught up with a lovely friend & her news as I spotted her in the street & invited her to join us for lunch. Nice.
Thur- had our GS for the night & took him to Taekwondo & also I did another Tai Chi class at the same time( a new one.) Still can get to watch him for 30 mins.
Fri- went into town & visited my LH's sister & BIL, had dinner at their home & went with them to see John Water's performing his "Looking Through A Glass Onion" show( a tribute to John Lennon.) We saw it about 15 years ago & it was so good we saw it again. It was excellent. We stayed the night at their home as we had to be back in town on Sat.
Sat- was an all day 8-ball calcutta. Our YS had surprised us with a visit on the Friday night which was funny as we weren't home. I had told him but he didn't listen(what a surprise!). It was good to catch up with him as I had been stressing a little about him as I knew he had left his job & he hadn't explained to us what had happened. Long story but he is not in the wrong. It's a shame though. It is a great pub & he was so good in it. His boss will regret not valuing him more.
Our older son won the calcutta & our YS was the runner up. It was a win/win situation for us. My husband also played very well & was happy with his day. It was actually a great day as the standard of play & sportsmanship was excellent. The world champion is in Tassie at the moment & he also competed. Our YS beat him twice(best of 5 both times) so that will be good for his confidence. Our sons have competed against one another so often & are really good about it. They are very close & so long as they both play well it matters little who wins. I certainly do not favour either of them.
Mood-
I feel really good atm, considering I have had a lot of perfume exposure in the last couple of days in particular. My social life has been fairly full on & it has been fun.
I have eaten well & not over-indulged with alcohol. I feel just a little tired & fairly lazy today. My LH has gone off to golf & I have the day to myself. I'm going to read a book & do a little gardening I think as the sun has just peeked out.
Hope all are well & happy, xoxo Cate
 
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Yesterday- ended up being a pleasantly lazy day. It ended up raining & I didn't get anything physical done at all. Did some cooking though & just read the papers etc. Was quite tired. Had a good night's sleep last night.
Weighed myself this morning & I'm up 1kg but that will be fluid as I didn't drink enough water the last few days. Also Sunday night is our chocolate night & I ate cheese twice yesterday. I'll switch straight back to eating how I usually do & that kilo will vanish quick smart. I hadn't weighed for 2 weeks, which was really good for me. Much better than having an obsession. Fine line that.
Today- is wild & wintry. My lungs aren't quite so good today so the perfume etc has caught up with me! Another home day will help & I'll get some of that fresh wintry air into my lungs at some stage- when the wind dies down a bit.
It may be a book day I think. I have dinner prepared :)
Love to all, xo Cate
 
I did read a book yesterday & did little else.
Today- I had a tradesman coming to fix our garage door so decided to do some rock work while I waited. I ended up doing about 2 hours solid rock carting. It was seriously hard & heavy work! At one stage I moved a big rock by rolling it but then couldn't budge it. I went to my neighbours to ask to borrow a furniture trolley but his did not look strong enough. He said that he would pop up with his rock hammer & break up the big rocks for me, which he then did. Nice. I then carted away about 10 loads of rock & dirt & have made a spot where I'm now going to lay some flat rocks as a paving & then put a garden seat. It was so good to do such physical work because the day was terrible. It has rained all afternoon so I was lucky to get it done.
Have fallen asleep twice already & will sleep well tonight.
It's my birthday in a month's time & I want a TOUGH furniture trolley, capable of moving very big rocks.....& maybe a rock hammer- although that's not essential.
Feeling good.
Love to all, xo Cate
 
Yesterday-had a lovely day including Tai Chi & also we looked after the little ones in the evening while our OS, DIL & OGS went to an open night at his High School for next year. They came back from it excited at the prospect, which was great.
Today-My LH & I had a lovely day. I polished off a wonderful book & we also did lots of gardening, which was very positive. I had an idea for a bench seat where I removed all those big rocks & today I got my LH to cut a large board to make our own bench. It will be excellent when we surround it by flat rocks to finish off the look. I am loving my gardening/landscaping. This is something I should have done 30 years ago!
We have our OGS for the night although I didn't take him to Taekwondo as he had the day off school with a sore throat & a bit of a cold. He wanted to go but I said that is not on. You can't take a day off school & then go out that evening to something that is vigorous & fun. Simply not the right thing to do. He took it well. Grandparents seem to be able to get through where parents don't. We love him to death but don't get angry or yell but do lay down the law or lecture fairly often, when we feel it's needed. It's also a time thing. Grandparents have the time, parents very rarely do & it is such a high pressure job.
I am feeling so good at the moment. I am maintaining my weight well, without being obsessive, I'm active, without obsessing about a rigid exercise regime & not feeling stressed about my mum either. TOUCH WOOD.
xoxo to all Cate
 
Another good day- good, healthy food, good company(my LH), lots of vigorous exercise :D
I know that people read my diary but it would be lovely for you just to say hi. It doesn't matter if you don't feel you have anything constructive to say. A hi is always positive & would be very welcome!
Love to all, xo Cate
 
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