Cate, thinking of you. All you can really do is wait and see. Don't cross too many bridges at once. I'm the last person who should be saying this as it's exactly what I do too, but go with the flow and hope it all ends up somewhere nice in the end.
I think there is no real progress without some pain along the way. It's hard, but we can become better people in the end.
If we didn't care so much about our kids, we wouldn't much in the way of mums would we? The main thing they need to know is that we DO care about them and feel for everything that happens, and then leave it to them as young adults to try and work through things.
I've been through a lot with mine this year - the WHOLE THREE - and sometimes wonder why I naively embarked on this adventure as a young woman. However, I do think I'm a better person because of it all, and there wouldn't be three beautiful young people in the world today if I hadn't had them. So I have to be content with the fact that although life doesn't always dish up what I want, how I want it, kids give so much added meaning and adventure to our lives we'd be poorer without it - and them!
Do something nice for yourself tonight. You need to be there in the end, so look after yourself.