Cate's Diary

Neat & tidy home- check!
I still have ironing to do, some shopping to do, dogs to be dropped off at the kennels, cake to be picked up.....That's after I have a shower & get dressed!
I'm just popping in to say that I probably won't be back until Monday. I hope everyone finds the strength that they all have inside them to get through the week-end eating healthily & building up some self-esteem. It seems that most of us are a little fragile at the moment and we all need one another's support. Try to remember why we all want to be slim & healthy. I'm sure a lot of our reasons would vary but I think most of us want to be slim more than we want the alternative. Be happy & enjoy your week-end , cheers, Cate.
 
I have to second what shine said - :hurray: to you for apologising, and you most certainly don't come across as 'mean spirited' - quite the opposite actually!

Amazing how your body is obviously quite fine tuned now and has definite reponses to certain foods.

Neat & tidy house - :hurray: I always feel like I am more in control of everything when my house is neat & tidy!!!!

Have a fantastic w/end!
Ali
 
You know what? I think we all get very, very tired towards the end of the year. It's a busy time - many are thinking of Christmas, work dinner parties and so on, jobs often get busy towards end of year. I know I'm really feeling it, and have a few things yet to prepare for - Presentation Night. Maybe that's why people are feeling a little bit fragile and in need of support at the moment, beyond other things that can already exist! You've had party to prepare and other things too. We all get busy one way or the other, no matter where we live or what we do. It's just a question of how. But I know that I, for one, am looking forward to end of year and getting a little bit of a break! (I hope - Mums with kids at home from school don't really...).
 
Cate thank you as always for sharing your life with all of us. I can truly say that even though we have never met, I consider you a great friend. Have a brilliant weekend with all your friends and family and wishes to your husband for at least another 60.

We are freezing here in South Africa with cold miserable weather. It's my second son's birthday on Sun and he is celebrating with some friends at our house on Sat night. So I will prob be back on Sun.

Thanks again for the support and I will be working on my self esteem and confidence.

Sue
 
Cate you're such an amazing inspiration to us all, and you deal clearly with what's holding you back. Thank you for taking us along on your journey, I appreciate your posts everyday. You're such a blessing!
 
I just want to say tonight that I feel really chuffed about these last posts & that you have gone to the trouble for me . I'll reply personally in the morning. I'm really tired tonight. My husband's party went really well & our friends have now flown back to Victoria. It was lovely. Good night my friends, xo Cate
 
Ali, Niyah, Sue & NickyJ-
I have tried to address each of you personally but can't seem to find exactly the right words & was getting a bit teary so will try a different way-

Over the week-end I had such a lovely time with our old friends from Melbourne. I love them passionately, especially the 2 women, who I have been friends with since 1971. I can't possibly even try to explain the experiences we have shared. One of them is so close to me that she held onto her 2nd baby until I had mine as I told her she had better not dare having hers first as I was due 2 weeks before her. That was 27 years ago last night. I had my YS at 9pm & she had her YS at 3am!
I contemplated giving up the forum as the week-end felt so real & sometimes this doesn't. You wonder if you really make any difference & if it is good for you or it is just a waste of time. I came in here last night to have a quick look, read your posts & you have put that idea straight out of my head. Thank you my forum friends. I really appreciate how you have made me feel, :beating: xo Cate

My LH's 60th-
Was fantastic! Everything went really well. There was about 90-100 there.
It was so good that I'm struggling to precis it. Everyone mixed & seemed to have a ball. My LH's best friend from Melb. gave a great speech & so did my husband. There were kids everywhere (only family)and they played together & had a ball.
We went out with our Vic friends & my LH's brother & sister(who I insisted came with us as well) for dinner at a Thai restaurant & ended up back at my LH's brother's place & then my teetotaller SIL drove us home (in 2 shifts-22km return each time)She stayed with her brother & then we had everyone for breakfast on Sun, including the ones that stayed at the motel in town. My SIL has been separated for about 8 years & she said "Why would you want me to come with you?" & I said "Why on earth wouldn't I want you to come with us?" Her self-esteem is shot to pieces. She's lovely & I love her.

I drank copious quantities of mostly champagne but ate reasonably sensibly. I nibbled on protein during the afternoon. I thought that there would be a cheese platter to nibble on & should have asked for one but I didn't worry about it. The day went really well & I think that 99% of the people would have enjoyed the day. It was very relaxed & had a great buzz!

The only negative(& expected) really was my MIL who was really obnoxious to our OS & DIL as usual & I heard her & said "Can't you just say hello & give him a hug?" but she stormed off in a huff!) Yesterday she rang & was a pain("Why didn't you think to take me? I was home on my own while you were out having fun." & went on & on about it & I almost hung up on her but said we had friends there for breakfast & I had to go.) I'll leave her for a few days & try to deal with her soon. It's time we had another discussion about the way she treats my son & his family & how she treats me really. No wonder they avoid her. Mind you I don't think she will ever change so maybe it's not worth it. I might just get it through to her that they will probably not visit as she is always awful to them. I'll think about it some more.

Typing that paragraph got my heart rate up a bit. I have worked out that you must deal with things as they arise or they grow & make you ill. I will talk to her this week. Most of her family just get really angry & upset but they never tell her how they feel. She always says to others that we get on because I say what I think.

Weight-
I lost .5kg over the week-end but had put some on last week eating rice dishes that my LH cooked. I had decided to go back on Cohen's today anyway so am. I am currently sitting 3.5kg over my GW range which is not where I want to be. I'm fine about though. I know how to fix it.
I also did not do any exercise at the week-end, except for a walk up the street from the bottle shop to the top of the town while my SIL dropped one group off at her brothers & then came back for us. I would have walked all the way & was loving it. I can't wait to get back to my routine. It's very showery today & cool. I'll do my weights & bike after lunch.

My LH got some beautiful presents, including 3 books-
Niyah- "The Songs Of Sapa, Stories & recipes from Vietnam" by Luke Nguyen, "A Chef's travels in Turkey" by Greg & Lucy Malouf & "a la grecque, our Greek table" by Pam Talimanidis. They chose so well! He got some lovely wine, some Scotch whisky, beautiful hampers with all the goodies that we love, like black olives, mustards, olive oils etc many plants that are perfect including a lot of oak trees which we love, some kangaroo paws which are beautiful and some St Kilda gear, including a nice jacket & a voucher to buy some more St Kilda stuff. No rubbish that will get tossed in a cupboard.

We see our Melbourne friends at least once a year when we go over to watch the St Kilda/Geelong match but it was so nice to sit around the table with them at our home & have a meal, just like old times. We have shared so much & continue to do so. I love them dearly!

I think that had better do for today. I am not going anywhere today but I feel really good & really happy. My husband is thrilled with his birthday this year. It lasted a whole week & I think it has been his best ever. It was like a reunion for lots of people that were there. Some I didn't catch up with much but it was great to see everyone having such a wonderful time.

Cheers for now, Cate.
 
Great to hear that everything went so well. It's lovely catching up with people you have always known and loved - especially when they are all together!

Tell me how "Songs of Sapa" goes. My daughter has a beautiful one written by the daughter of Vietnamese immigrants, as much describing their early life in Sydney as their restaurant, how it ran and now how hers runs with a slightly more Oz orientation.

I had a quietish weekend, had little GD all day yesterday which was lovely. She now "plays piano" for hours, sings little songs she's making up as she goes about frogs, emus and all sorts of things. Very cute!

I'm slowly getting back on track. Slow is the word, but at least progress is forward. Hope to be back here joining you all soonish!!
 
Ahh Niyah...the love of our grandchildren is by far our best mental "medicine." :beating:How lucky we are! I am so glad that you are starting to feel a little better. Thanks for visiting me. I think I know that you are reading my diary but it's lovely that you go to the trouble of posting too, xo xo Cate.

My Maintenance exercise today-
I jogged!
After being asked on Saturday at the party by a friend if I had been for a jog yet I decided to give it a go. I had talked to her about it about 6 months ago. She is much younger than me but goes to veteran's aths. (over 35 yrs) in Launceston on Wed nights. I alternated with walking today & really enjoyed it. I used to run a lot as a teenager & was the school champion every year in my age group at High School. Plus swimming.... A-Grade hockey.... A-Grade tennis. I loved my sport as a teenager, left home at 17 & stopped when I moved to Melbourne. I wish that someone had suggested sports medicine or being a personal trainer to me back then. It would have been perfect for me. I did quite well academically even though I didn't exactly study much but would have thrown myself into that! A PE teacher? I would have loved it. Oh well. It doesn't matter! (N- ;) )
So after warming up by walking & running I then did 2 sets of weights so 2 x 14 x 12 reps & 10 extra of one = 348 reps. I know, I know, it's a lot!
Then I decided to hop on my bike so did 7kms while reading my new Donna Leon book "Friends In High Places" which I will go finish now before my LH gets home from work.
105 mins of exercise today! I need to do some catch-up to make up for my slack but fun w/e!
:party:
I feel marvellous. I drank 2 water bottles during the exercise. I have only eaten Cohen's food today- yoghurt & mango for breakfast, a tuna salad for lunch & an orange & one lot of crackers.
Cheers for now. I had better go find today's saying/quote. Mmmmm
Bye, Cate
 
Wow Cate thats a great effort! Well done :)

It is a beautiful day in Perth today and when I get home I am going to go for a walk and soak up some of the sun! For some reason I enjoy exercise so much more since I have been on cohens - I think it is because before I thought exercise was the key and it became something I felt forced to do rather than something I wanted to do and enjoyed... these days I know it's about what you eat a lot more than exercise so I really enjoy when I get out there and get movin!

Kristy xo
 
Hi Cate,

Congratulations on the jogging! I have never been a jogger, but like you, used to play A-Grade hockey and LOVED it. We are moving house in a few weeks, so once we are settled in and I am up to maintaining the new me in January, I will find out about a local hockey club and start little by little into a regular jogging thing.

So happy for you all that the party was a success and your hubby had a brilliant time. Sounds like a wonderful week-end all up.. apart from your dear MIL *sigh* ~ all the best with her.

Jeez wizz you are making me all itchy for some decent exercise!
 
Well done Cate! Hey you could still be a PT - maybe specialising in more mature health & fitness - or a Life Coach - I'm 100% sure you'd be great at that!

How fabulous that your DH loved his whole birthday celebration - sounds like it was an awesome party too!

What a shame about your MIL - sounds like a bit of a dragon!!! You know the sad thing is that those sorts of people must constantly feel bad - grumpy, dissatisfied and miserable what a sad existence, that's not living there is no joy, or as that lovely French expression goes, "Joie de Vie" in looking for the negative in everyone and everything. You, on the other hand, seem to be the opposite - a 'glass half full' person....I know which one I'd rather be ;-) I hope you can get through to her when you do sit down and have that discussion. :)
 
What a lovely weekend you had. It was well worth those "moments" of feeling stressed by the sounds of it. Wow, your MIL sounds like a tough one to deal with. Sometimes it can be a hard decision whether to pursue an issue or not. I know if it just affects me, I can often let it go, but if it affects anyone else I love, well, that's another story. I also strongly believe in showing honor and respect to parents etc, but do they realize how difficult they make it at times?
I know what you mean about the good times with real people and comparing it to the forum. I was listening to a talk recently about not misusing techonology, and remembering people are more important. The main thing is having a proper balance. If this was the sum of my life, I'd be a bit worried, but it sounds like you have a pretty healthy social life.
Ali's suggestion of becoming a PT is a good one, you know you can become qualified over the net now? Is that not an oxymoron? Sit on your butt and receive training to become a personal trainer. Anyway.....
x
 
Kristy-
Anything we decide to do ourselves is so much easier than something we are told we should do! Funny about that! LOL! You'll love exercise in maintenance even more, xo C

Shine-
Whoops! Can't be having you itchy! I'm being a bones today though. I feel really tired & may have a cold.
MIL- *sigh* all right! I just heard how my MIL was with my DIL & OS. She waited until I was out of earshot though & kept following them around & having a go at them. Mmm.
I say go for the hockey thing. I always wished I had continued with it. I was a wuss! xo C

Choclover(Ali)-
Yep MIL- "looking for the negative in everyone and everything." What is the word for killing your MIL? Only half kidding! Thank you sweets for your post. I feel I've left my run too late re the PT teacher or Life Coach job but you have given me food for thought & I am very flattered, xo C

L-Jay- "but if it affects anyone else I love, well, that's another story." You hit the nail right on the head there! You know how you feel about your kids when they're young & how you want to protect them. That doesn't change. My MIL does not show her family much respect & can be very rude, but expects everything in return. She is awful to our OS & DIL & it upsets me. It is a quandary to know what to do about it.
You are very observant L-Jay & encouraging. I know you're right re the balance in my life & I do have a good social life. In fact I have a really good life. Thanks for your post, xo Cate

MIL-
She has an enormous ego. No lack of self-esteem there! She can be a total dragon to some of the family & then an angel to strangers. I'm not going to lose any sleep over her & I'm also not going to ring her or visit for a while. She expects me to take her to the airport next Sunday, without actually having asked me to but I will leave it to her to ring. I need a cooling-off period.

Health today-
I'm extremely tired & heavy headed. My throat has been croaky since Sunday morning & I am having a bit of trouble breathing. I'm not sure if it's allergies/asthma or a cold. The first I think. I think the party & all of the preparation/expectation has possibly taken it's toll. I was going to go for a walk this afternoon but my DIL arrived at about 10am to bath her kids & stayed for 3 hours & I think I'll just go sit on my chair & have a "nanna nap." My LH is at golf & he felt really tired before he left too.
She asked me if I could have the 3 kids this Sunday & I said I'll see how I feel later in the week because I don't feel up to it on my own how I feel today. She said she could ask her mother. My LH will be working all w/e. If they say they are going out until a certain time they are usually 2 hours late & they are lovely kids but full on. I just didn't have the energy to say yes. I'm trying not to feel guilty about it.

Nanna nap time, xo Cate.
 
Hi Cate,

Hope you had a good nap and you are feeling a bit better!
Don't feel bad about not saying yes immediately, especially if you are feeling run down, try and get some well deserved rest before the weekend and decide then.

I just wanted to thank you for all your kind words and motivation, you are and inspiration to me and i am over the moon that i found this forum when i did!

Angela
xxx
 
Hi Angela & anyone else reading my diary. It's lucky I didn't say yes as I had already told my SIL that I would take my MIL to the airport on Sun afternoon. I did feel much better after a brief "Nanna nap" but didn't have any exercise yesterday at all. Whenever I "overdo" the exercise I feel lazy next day. I have some catch up to do now but will try to relax about it. It is only my own rule after all.
Today-
Is Tai Chi day so there's an easy hour! Then maybe a coffee(lunch?) afterward. My LH is home today & I love our days home together but I don't want to miss Tai Chi. I was house-cleaning last Wed. I wish it was possible to have your home looking that good all of the time.
I'm out tonight at 8-ball.
Tomorrow-
I have an Optometrist's ap't in Devonport at 12 & I promised a friend I would visit. I may do that in the morning so I may not get much of a chance to look in all the diaries today or tomorrow as I also have our GS after school tomorrow & taking him to Taekwondo. Busy couple of days.
Energy-
I'm still short of breath & croaky but feel a bit better.
Have to go. Cheers for now, Cate
 
Hi Cate, good to hear you're feeling a little better.
"Is Tai Chi day so there's an easy hour! Then maybe a coffee(lunch?) afterward. My LH is home today & I love our days home together but I don't want to miss Tai Chi." I'm the same when DH has a day off. I tend to focus a lot of what I have to do around the family's comings and goings, but when it's something that you love and have established a routine with, I believe it's important to do it. An hour of something like that makes us better wives mothers friends etc. If we are happy, they will be happy.

"I wish it was possible to have your home looking that good all of the time."
I know what you mean about the house. It's just a constant thing. I was bit of a Nazi this morning with the family. Tiling of the lounge is supposed to be tomorrow, but has been forwarded to Monday. Our dining room which is currently our lounge, is slowly acumulating Stuff. Newspapers, payslips, books, school photo's, school calanders, egg cartons. I hate clutter. Our computer desk is pretty much dismantled and that holds our files where all the Important Stuff goes. But, the sun shining through the window is a beautiful thing, even if it is illuminating all the cobwebs that have appeared since we have misplaced the manhole cover. Yes, I dream of the day when my house will be back to it's usual standard. It will all be worth it.
Enjoy your lunch with LH. Have a lovely day. x
 
L-Jay-Thank you. I did have a lovely day! It was beautiful & sunny & I am feeling much better. xo Cate.
Yesterday-
I did a little shopping before Tai Chi & then TC from 12-1, went to lunch with 3 of the "girls" & home to my LH. He had decided that it was too hot to get wood/brush-cut (phew!) so we had a lazy afternoon reading. He had done some cooking while I was out. Last night we went to 8-ball.
Today-
I'm off to the Optometrist shortly. I have a gift voucher to spend for my LH & will try to do some Christmas shopping. I had better scoot actually. I'm not visiting my friend today & will when I go back to pick up my new glasses in a fortnight. (assuming I need them)
Cheers for now, Cate
 
Why do I feel so tired & flat? I think all of the organising for the party has taken it's toll. I have not been doing exercise every day. I'm not sure what it is really but I do feel a bit down.
Glasses-
Bloody hell! They are expensive & I sure do need them. I'm on the borderline of being legally unable to drive without them apparently. I knew my sight had deteriorated a fair bit but it has sent me into shock. So has the price of them.
I also chose the pair that suited me the most & they are red. My LH may hate them. That freaks me out a bit I must admit as well. I still have some hidden money that I had saved for his birthday when I had planned on taking him out of the country instead of a party & that will almost cover them. OUCH!
I actually feel like bawling my eyes out. I really want to change into my trackies & start doing my weights but I have to go pick up my GS soon & take him to taekwando. I may go for a walk instead while he's doing that. I'm interested to see what it's about though.
MIL saga-
I have been really down about her this week & angry. I had told my SIL a couple of weeks ago that I would drive the MIL to the airport on Sunday as my SIL is taking her to Melb for a show. My LH's brother's wife was then going to pick her up on Tues & take her home & now can't because she's in Victoria with her mum who is sick with cancer. My LH plays golf on Tuesday's & organises the tournament so can't be there on time. I feel really pressured to do this as well at the same time as still being crabby with her. I felt I wanted my MIL to ring & be nice & actually ask me nicely if I would mind. I also would really like a week at home with no obligations or responsibilities.
I know I have let my defences down & when this happens I can get miserable.
I had better go pick up our GS off the school bus.
I might be back later tonight or maybe in the morning.
Nothing is planned for Friday or Saturday so maybe I'll be able to get back on an even keel then. I do feel like I need a good cry.
Bye for now, Cate.

 
Sorry you are feeling so flat, Cate. I recently had to admit I need to wear glasses ALL THE TIME. I got a pair 4 years ago, but my eyes fairly rapidly deteriorated so that they weren't much good for long, and I didn't wear them much. I've been going around squinting, getting used to everything getting fuzzier and fuzzier. My short-term vision is deteriorating a little, but not too bad yet. But driving - well, one of my eyes is definitely very bad and the other going. So I too got glasses a few weeks ago. Expensive - but... it has made the world of difference. My trees have leaves again as I drive around, I can see street signs. So, after the pain comes the gain.

I'm always really flat after big events. It's partly all the anticipationg and emotional overload, the work on the day, and then the let-down afterwards as everyone goes and life returns to normal. Instead of looking forward with excitement and anticipation, we suddenly feel out of kilter with our "normal" lives. It took me several weeks to get over the big production we staged recently - not just physically with the work and tiredness, but the emotional let down. It probably contributed to my big crash and where I am now.

Relationships - some we can choose, and some we are stuck in. MIL's are the "stuck in" ones, but it stinks when everyone else expects you to just pick up the load. I'm not sure what I would do. My MIL isn't like that, but they are living quite a long way away and I don't see her much. My own mother isn't demanding either. But... I've had plenty of other demanding people in my lives, some of which I've ditched the relationship with in order to find peace.

This might help... just a bit... even though it won't change her one bit. Someone once made this suggestion: Imagine if you could swap your MIL (or change her) for a really lovely one... but the price was that you had to accept that one of your children had cancer and wasn't going to last much longer. Which would you choose? To keep the MIL you have, keep the child you have and deal with it, or get the nice MIL? It sounds weird, but puts the problem back into its life perspective. It's worth a thought when the emotions get overwhelming.

Hope the rest of your day picks up a bit.
 
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