Camy's diary

Thank you tinkerbella for visiting. Yes I am really determined to get this body of mine into the right shape... it is really dire time for that to happen. I am also really really desperate to get into my 130ies (or 63 kg and below). I have been in the 140ies for EVER!

So yesterday I ran my 2 km (slightly iover 1 mile) and had to walk for 2 small stretches. I am planning on running that distance (which is roughly 1/3 of what i need to run in july) with just 1 walking episode tomorrow and then on saturday with no walking episodes.
Then next week i will try to run on for about 3.5 km (roughly 2 miles, therefore about 2/3s of the way) first with 2 walking spells, then with 1, then without and the week after that i would like to run the whole way (5 km, 3 miles) again first with 2 walking spells, then with 1, then without.
Once I can do it (it may take more than just 3 weeks to get me running that much), I need to run the 5 k three times a week, so that by the 19th of july I can do it easily, without dying in the attempt.

Unfortunately today i won't be able to swim. My chiropractor doesn't like me to do exercise the days she treated me. I will walk quite a lot today to make up for it and will do my TumEx in the evening no matter what she says. My tummy really needs to shrink!!!!

So food of the day:
Breakfast: 1 apple, 330ml of apple+pomegranate juice, 1 banana
Lunch: sushi (real nice one from the japan centre)
Snack: 40 cal german candy (not my ideal choice but what was in my bag)
Dinner: prawn salad (lettuce, prawns, tomatoes, asparagus, some edamame)... accompanied by a huge bowl of Edamame beans

Exercise:
walking about 3.5 miles... which is alright I guess
TumEx
 
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It is Thursday already, can you believe it...
I have the kids from 3 to 6 or 7, then I will go running. Other than that I am pretty inactive.

Food for the day:
Breakfast: 1 banana, 1 apple, 1 spoon full of nutella
Lunch: homemade sushi, yum-- change that to yuck! the man was in charge of the rice and it tasted awful!! and I also had a ww choc mousse (100 cals)
Snack: 1 cheese stick, 2 slices of salami, mocachino
Dinner: steak and salad

Exercise:
running 3.5 km (I am so proud of myself, I was only gonna run 2 km and then I just never stopped... amazing!)
TumEx
 
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OK, food for friday (disaster day!)
Breakfast: lovely fruit salad (1 banana, 1 kiwi, 10 strawberries, 50 g of blueberries)
Lunch: some cheese and salami, french fries
Snack: 1 milk shake (vanilla yum), some m&ms
Dinner: chinese food: duck, BBQ pork, veggies and rice, 1/4 of an orange

Exercise:
nothing... just sex and not the sporty kind either!

Saturday:
Breakfast: fruit salad (1 banana, 1 kiwi, 10 strawberries, 50 g of blueberries)
Lunch/dinner: 2 pieces of bbq chicken, 1/2 sausage, potato salad, lovely rice with veggies, 3 tangerines

Exercise:
4.5 k running
TumEx!
I ran 2.5 k, the stopped in the middle of the park, did my TumEx next to some old dudettes doing tai-chi and then ran my last 2 k.
I discovered I love running!! I really do, it is very freeing and very cool and I could just go on and on! I am very happy I discovered this!
And I also discovered that I really like to have a cool showering off moment after my normal shower. I love the feel of the cool water on my hair and skin and it is supposed to be amazing for circulation etc...

Camy
 
I am so depressed and desperate. My first week being really active and watching what I eat more and I weigh 2 pounds MORE than last week. It really really frustrates me so badly.
I know there are ups and then there are downs, but I have not been under 140 pounds and seem to be unable to reach it. I want to see that 13 so much, but now it won't be for at least, at the very very least, 2 more weeks until I will.
I am actually in tears from frustration. I think I did it all right this week. Why do I not lose any more weight? I exercised 5 days, I had no slip ups, I ate the right food...
At this rate I will never reach my goal (rather go up and down between 141 and 145 for the rest of my life). I have no problem eating the way I am eating now, even cutting back a bit, I am ok with exercising for the rest of my life, but I won't be able to feel this desperate every sunday for the rest of my life.
I know I should not let my moods be directed by the scales, it is important how I look, but that isn't changing. At 143 I just look like I weigh 143 pounds, full stop!
The man thinks I am putting on muscle, but I truly think he is wrong. You don't gain 2 pounds of muscle in 1 week just by swimming and running and sit ups.
That bikini will never fit me... :(
I was going to take today off, to let my body recover, but I am not, I will go and run today too and have the recovery day on wednesday, when the chiropractor doesn't like me exercising anyway.

Why can't my body let go of this stupid fat?
The only good thing is that the people I usually work for have left for the summer which means: 1.) I have less money (for food presumably), and 2.) I won't be tempted by the crap they have lying around. Everytime I go to work I eat whatever I find, not going to work will stop me from eating a lot of "baddies" (chocolate, sweets, salami, cheese).

This week I will be spartan, NO milk-products, calorie counting all the way and exercise 6 days a week. No going around that! Maybe next week I will weigh a little bit less.


So normal part of the diary:
Breakfast: 1 banana, 6 strawberries, 40 g of blueberries, 200 ml of OJ
Lunch: green salad
Snack: 2 tiny pieces of sushi
Dinner: 2 slices of gluten free pizza topped with vegetables and tofu-rella

Exercise:
just walking
Camy
 
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So here goes another week:

today I will swim.. or maybe run and swim!

Food:
Breakfast: 1 banana (100 cals), 200 ml of OJ (100 cals)
Lunch: 350 cals of sushi, 150 cals of melon and grapes
Snack: 1 apple juice (120 cals) and 1 rice triangle (150 cals??)
Dinner: 1 slice of pizza (300 cals??), green salad (few cals) and asparagus (another few)

Total cal count: around 1500 cals (I though it would be less to be honest but 1500 is upper limit but ok)

Exercise:
40 lanes of swimming
TumEx

Camy
 
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Hi Camy

I have just been catching up on you. I wish that I had more time to get around the diaries - but in all honesty - life and all my walking really does get in the way of much that I would like to do.

I am sorry to see that you have been getting a bit despondant. We all get like that at times. I am on a bit of a high now - but going back I really felt like I had a mountain to climb and was far from sure that I would get too much further.

All that we can do is keep on working hard and the reward seems to come eventually. If the scale does not go down and you know that you have exercised consistantly and maintained control of your food - there has to be a logical answer. For instance - I found that I was very sensitive to sodium and found myself cutting out lots of things that I had thought that I could have in moderation if the calorie level was about right (e.g. cheese, bread). Recent experimentation has allowed me to reintroduce cottage cheese and quark - but I still avoid other cheeses.

An alternative solution is double checking that portion sizes are right. Someone posted a link about the way that most people incorporate inaccuracies (quite innocently) in the way that they measure things. If calorie counting - it can make a huge difference.

It is great that you have found that you really enjoy running. Invariant (Rae) has made a similar discovery - and now that she is at goal weight - it means that she can indulge in many delicious treats since she knows that she can run it off.

You should definitely wear the bikini this summer. Lose what weight you can before your holiday - but wear the bikini anyway. I always find that targets with a weightloss by a date tend to escape me (but not by too much). You are left with the choice of celebrating the achievement that you have accomplished or feeling a failure because you didnt do what you set out to do. The first option is always better. Feel good about yourself.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Thank you Margaret for posting. I was feeling a bit lonely, but I understand, I am also really busy and barely posting anywhere other than in my own diary (and this is a two way road, I should really try to get around more people's diaries... maybe in a few weeks, though life just seems to get more intense every moment!).

I really hope I can wear my bikini without being too selfconscious. Because I know I "can" wear it, but I have to want to wear it. But I still have some weeks to fight the weight a little bit more before the bikini-isssue becomes important again.

I also think I am a bit too obsessed with the scales, I am not going to weigh me daily, just every 3 days or so, because I just go crazy with every g more or less. And you are right if I know I am eating right and exercising enough there is no reason why it shouldn't become less and less. I have cut out all things dairy again, very strictly to see if that affects me, I would really hate having to cut down sodium because I love salty stuff and I cannot, for the life of me, eat something bland and enjoy it.
However I used to think there was no way on earth that I could eat sushi without soy sauce and I have been doing it for 6 months now, so never say never!

Camy
 
we all have our ups and downs Camy, and sometimes we are popular and others we arnt. I know the feeling, i think people just have busy times in their life and other things fall to the side.
Even now i still have to stop, take a step back, think about what im doing and why. I still binge occasionally, i still dont exercise sometimes, but i have to continuously push myself to do things.
 
Thank you for popping in Wishes and radiant.
I know that sometimes there won't be many visitors to my diary and I accept it. This is for me, but of course it is always really lovely to see someone visiting.

I ran today, but everything was sort of wrong, my backpack was too big and too heavy, my trousers were too thick (I used the man's house pants, because I though it would be cold, which it wasn't), I was too hot, my boobies were jumping crazy in my not-so-supportive bra, my muslces ached a tad from yesterday, but more than pain it was just a tired feeling, sort of like my legs were too heavy.
I only managed to run about 2 k, then did my TumEx, then ran 1 more k, but couldn't even manage the last 2... well I will try again on thursday, in thinner pants, a better bra and without a backpack.
I am going to go and buy myself a sports bra and proper running trousers tomorrow (since I am not allowed to exercise tomorrow, that way at least I get some proper walking in).

Also I am really hungry, and I literally just had lunch, so I will go for a coffee soon and maybe have some fruit as well...

Food of the day:
Breakfast: 1 banana (80 cals), 1 kiwi (40 cals), 6 strawberries (40 cals), 100 ml of OJ (50 cals)
Lunch: big green salad (few cals) with 1 grilled chicken breast (160 cals) total 250
Snack: 100 g of strawberries (40 cals), 1 soy latte (sugar free) (90 cals)
Dinner: 200 g of brown rice (100 cals), 110 cals of Soy-crisps, mixed antipasti (all veggies based, 1 plate split between 2 people) (est. 300 cals)
Grand total: well it says 1100 which is too low, but I think it was more, I may have estimated wrong some of the stuff (like salad and antipasti)

Exercise:
3 k of running
TumEx

Camy
 
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Camy said:
I would really hate having to cut down sodium because I love salty stuff and I cannot, for the life of me, eat something bland and enjoy it.
Click to expand...
Cutting down on sodium is always a good idea for your long term health - but no salt in no way shape or form equals bland... spend some time in the spice aisle... there's a ton of non salt herbs spices and spice blends that can take the place of salt...
 
Thank you Mal, I will spend some time on the spice isle. I love wasabi and i could put it on virtually everything, so I may try to use more wasabi and less salt especially on my rice.

I weighed myself and I weigh the same (if not more) than on sunday, which makes no sense whatsoever. I will just be patient, weigh myself again on sunday and hope for a change. Nobody can eat under 1500 cals a day, exercise 5 days a week and not lose weight, right? I hate how rollercoaster my emotions go in this journey when i don't see progress (but i love how great i feel when i lose weight, which i guess is the flipside of that coin).
I am going to go and buy my sportsgear today, and then work hard and hope my body starts to let go of the fat for once and for all.

my ex-friend wrote me a short facebook message today (after 6 plus weeks of silence), asking me if i was ok. i have to say the falling out with her has broken my heart a bit and I am still not over it. I do see that she was not a great friend and that her ways clash with mine (I care about my friends, she doesn't), but due to the fact that I am very lonely lately, when I am at college, I do miss her (and the whole gang of bitches).
It even helps me push me farther, when I am about to give up on exercise I tell myself, I have to keep going to be more beautiful and more skinny when i meet her again (I know it is a strange revenge, but she is weight obsessed and I know it would really give her the heebie jeebies if i managed to lose the weight).
I don't know what to write back... the man says I shouldn't write back at all, she bullied me and treated me badly and I should ignore her, but i feel like i should be the better person.
i think i will write that i am well, thank you very much, and that i decided not to meet up with them anymore because the whole friend-thing clearly was a farce (which is underlined by the fact that in 6 plus weeks nobody tried to contact me so far, so they can't have really missed me that much).
I think that should suffice, but i really want to write, how much of a crap friend she was, etc... oh well, I know i won't, I don't want to seem needy, or whiny, or anything like that, just cool like ice and totally over them (which i am not, yet).

OK, so food of the day:
Breakfast: 1 banana (80 cals), 1 peach (40 cals), 1 tangerine (30 cals)
Lunch: brown rice with chilly and some broccoli-tomato-cucumber salad (est. 400 cals)
Snack: sushi (300 cals)
Dinner: salmon, 1 egg and green leafy salad with some french beans (500 cals), 1 gluten free cheese bread (200 cals)
Total calories: 1550 cals

Exercise:
None other than TumEx and some walking (recommended by the chiropractor)

Camy
 
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The scales are just upsetting, for some reason they have decided to go up instead of down (and yes I did it... I weighed myself, stupid me!), but I look ok and I feel ok today, so I am going to continue the way I am going and ignore the scales (at least for now).
I don't want to be weight obsessed, but I am getting more and more into it, and it needs to stop.
The man asked me: do your trousers fit more snuggly and I answered thuthfully "no, in fact they are getting bigger" and he said "well then stop weighing yourself constantly"...
he is right.
I read here and so many people have so much more weight to lose, and I feel like such a bum for being so upset about 20 silly pounds. I read "I want to be able to not wear 3-x L anymore", and feel like a bitch because I fit into an M in most shops (and even S in some), my trousers are an american 6-8 (an english 8-10), I was called petite the other day... I have a T shirt that I bought in the girl's section and it is 12-14 years.

Why then am I so unhappy at this weight? I feel fat, I see myself as fat, I constantly pinch my waist-fat (which, I am not lying, is there, this isn't some anorexic thing, I really have a belly!) and wish I could finally be in te 120 range and see myself as beautiful.

Anyhow I ran 4 k today without ever stopping, that was the first time I did the whole thing without stopping in the middle. My new running clothes are awesome! I feel so much better in them and therefore run so much better in them.
On Saturday I am going to run the full 5 k! And hopefully from then on 3 times a week 5 k.

Food of the day:
Breakfast: 1 banana (80 cals), 1 gluten free cheese bread (200 cals)(I made these myself they are quite yummy... well they were better warm yesterday, but still, quite impressed that I made them)
Midmorning: ricecake (40 cals)
Lunch: sushi and melon (500 cals)
Dinner: it was a bit all over the place and split into 3 events but the total in the end was: small salad with grilled artichokes and green beans (200 cals), 2 bites of sushi (100 cals), 1 cheese bread (200 cals)
Grand total:1320 cals (and I didn't feel desperately hungry)

Exercise:
4 k running
TumEx

Camy
 
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Friday is here... the man is leaving tomorrow for Italy for 5 days and in exactly 1 week I will fly to New York!!!! Yey!

Food of the day:
Breakfast: 1 banana (80 cals), 100 g of raspberries (20 cals)
Lunch: scrambled egg with asparagus and prawns (400 cals)
Snack: dulce de leche frapp (230 cals), apple (50 cals) 100 cals sushi
Dinner: chinese, we had rice, szechuan prawns (my new favourite dish) and veggies, we didn't eat tons, felt satisfied but not stuffed, I would say around 600 cals prob., 100 cals of chocolate
Total cals: 1580 cals (not too bad considering I had chinese)

Exercise:
50 lanes of swimming (I surprised myself there, never thought I'd do more than 30... in fact I argued with myself to get to 30 and then I just did a countdown from 20, having the picture of my dreamkini in mind and ... in no time at all I had done 50!)

Camy
 
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Hey Camy! I'm Anke, and you are my new motivator for the running! I'm 20 yrs old and still need to lose close to 30 pounds.

I'm building up to 5k, but right now am only running 90 second intervals for 20 mins :) I'm really enjoying it though!

It looks like you're doing great. I really can't stand to weigh myself more than my one scheduled weigh in a week... For my sanity!

Anyway, see you around!
 
I didn't go running because it rains and is yucky, will go tomorrow before brunch and then do my weigh in, but I am cautiously hopeful (since I quickly peeked on the scales today and they were on a downwards trend).

The man said this morning that my face, which used to be totally round, now has a more oval shape. And lying down on my back, my ribs stick out! Yey!!!

I have decided to do a mini-challenge just for myself, I want to see how close I can get tp Paris running and swimming.
So London to Paris are a total of 344 k, of which 112 are water and the other 232 are land.
So over the summer the ideal would be to swim 112 k and to run 232 k (total).
So far I have run (counting tomorrows 5 k): 12 this week and 10.5 last week= 22.5 k and I swam 1.7+1.7+1.7= 5.1 k.
So I still have quite a lot to do!

Food of the day:
Breakfast: 1 banana (80 cals), 100 g of raspberries (20 cals)
Lunch: small vegan salad and 1 rice bread (400 cals)
Snack: sushi and sugar free frap (500 cals)
Dinner: small salad with prawns (300 cals), choc (100 cals)
Total cals: 1400 cals

Exercise:
Really none, just some walking, but nothing serious

Camy
 
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Wow! That's such a cool idea for a challenge... once complete you should reward yourself with a trip to Paris!

My man and I are hoping to emigrate to Canada in the next few years... maybe I can do a run and swim to Canada challenge... it would probably take me a few years to get there from South Africa anyway! :p
 
Ha, yeah it will defintely take you a while to swim/run to Canada!
We are moving to some part of Africa (don't know where yet) in 3 months... scary but very adventurous. I would love to be at goal by then, but I am aware that in the past 3 months I have lost virtually nothing, so I am not getting my hopes too far up.

Ok so yesterday I wrote a beautiful long post and then my internet broke and it was all gone byebye... so here I am rewriting a bit of it.
1.) I didn't go running (bad me) because when I wanted to go the weather wasn't nice and then when the weather had picked up I was already meeting with friends, But we did walk about 6 miles, so I got some action in.
2.) I lost 1 pound. I m very happy about that (especially considering I had gone up 1 by Wednesday so really the loss was 2 pounds). I have also not yet had my period and I am pretty sure I am retaining fluids and have this problem with my body. It just doesn't like to let go during PMS time (which for some reason has been extremely long this month... and still is lasting) but it does lose more quickly the week I have my period and the week afterwards (generally speaking), so I hope for some more loss once this period is here.
3) Food for the day of yesterday:
No breakfast
Lunch: 9 king prawns with some mayo, aubergine and goat cheese salad and chips (everybody else had fish and chips, a deep fried battered fish, so I was very proud of myself for only having the salad and chips)
No Snack
Dinner: sushi (en masse), 200 cals of chocolate

4.) I went to a chinese herbalist (I believe in herbs, have just started to a few weeks back) and the woman asked me what I wanted. I didn't really want anything but I told her that I was trying to lose weight and lowering my cholsterol because I have familial hypercholesteraemia and she mixed some herbs and said that this is what chinese people use to lose weight and lower cholesterol.
I know this is not a superdrug, nor an instant cure, but I decided to give it a shot. I drink tea daily anyhow, so I may as well drink this one (it has dandelion, oolong and such in it, so I know it is just herbs). Let's see. I won't change my eating or exercise regime at all, just incorporate a mug of this tea to my daily habits. It will be interesting to see if I see an increase in weight loss or, more probably, no effects.
5.) this weeks plan is to swim monday (today) and wednesday, and to run Tuesday, Thursday and Friday (early morning). Friday we are leaving to NYC and I will take my running clothes with me and try to go running once or twice in Central Park. That will be an amazing experience I think, and will maintain my fitness.

Food of the day (today):
Breakfast: 1 banana, 20 grapes
Lunch: 1 cup of rice and chilli con carne, 1 cup of bean, tomato and cucumber salad
No Snack
Dinner: Salmon, giant green beens, half a cucumber as a salad, 30 g of popcorn, strawberries with some vanilla icecream and 70 cals worth of chocolate

Exercise:
50 laps swimming (note to self, do not swim after lunch... severe indigestion, almost threw up in the pool!)

Camy
 
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I hate it when you write dem essays and then they disappear, POOF! into cyberspace :(

So why you moving to Africa? Do you still live with parents?? details! :)
 
I live with the man here in London, my parents live in Spain, I moved away like 6 years ago to come and study here.
We just today got word to where we are going (literally 40 minutes ago), we are movnig to GHANA! I am beyond excited, it looks beautiful and I am so happy about this.
We will leave in October and settle into our new home (only for about a year for me, and 2 for the man) in Accra.
Camy
 
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